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“It’s totally not the same.”
“It’s exactly the same, Bug. Remember how excited you were when you found out Stella and I were trying to have a baby? You begged for a little brother or sister.”
“You’re too old. Can’t she find some younger guy who’s more suitable?”
“I’m not that old, kid. What if I’d made that decision about you? Abandoned you? Given you to someone else?”
“I don’t know, then maybe I wouldn’t be moving to New York and away from everything I’ve ever known.”
I ignore her insinuation that maybe she’d be better off without me. She’s upset.
“You’rethe one who said you wanted to move.”
“To Oregon, or to somewhere else in Florida. Not some hole-in-the-wall town.”
“I love her, Bug. I’min lovewith her. And she’s in love with me.”
“Of course you have to say thatnow.”
“This isn’t anything new. I’ve loved her for a long time. I just wasn’t sure if she felt the same. And then there’s you. You know I’d do anything for you. But whether we planned it or not, it’s not just the two of us anymore. Maybe that doesn’t seem fair to you now, but I promise I won’t love you any less just because there are more people to love.”
She finally stops pacing and plops onto the large chair in the corner. It’s the chair we used to cuddle in when she was little. A thousand books were read to her there. I haven’t seen her sit in that particular chair for years. Is she already mourning what she thinks is the end of our father-daughter relationship?
I get up, go over, and sit down beside her. We’re far too big to be sitting side-by-side in the chair, and we’re squeezed in tightly, but I need her to hear me.
“Darla, I love you so much, my heart bursts every morning when I see you. And you don’t know this, but sometimes I still watch you sleep like when you were little. I just stare at you and think how lucky I am to be your dad.” I take her hand, and this time she doesn’t pull away. “Nothing is going to change that. Not the babies. Not Allie. Nothing.”
Her head whips to the side and she widens her eyes. “Babies? As in you’re already planning on having more?”
It’s now when I realize I haven’t given her all the relevant details.
“Babies as in you’re going to have a brotheranda sister. Bug, Allie is having twins.”
For a fraction of a second, I could swear I see a smile flash across her face. As if the thought of having twin siblings is exciting for her. But I may have been mistaken, because she rips her hand away and wiggles herself out of the chair.
“Just great. Like you’re going to have any time left for anything else.”
I stand and follow her to the kitchen. “Will things change? Yes, they will. It will be hectic and chaotic and I honestly have no idea how we’re going to do it. But I can promise you, we’re still going to be us. And I hope you’ll help me with decisions like what house we’ll get, and what kind of car. And just think about it, Bug. You’ll get to go to a brand-new school like you wanted. Everyone in Calloway Creek seems nice.”
“It’s a small town, Dad. People there have been born and raised there. They already have friends. They don’t want outsiders.”
“Allie has a huge family. Lots of friends. I’m sure over the summer we can introduce you to other kids your age.”
She huffs with displeasure.
“I’ll make you a deal.”
“You’re going to bribe me like Mel’s parents?”
“No. I’m not going to bribe you. I said I’ll make you a deal. If you go through the summer up there and still decide you want to be homeschooled, I’ll let you do it.”
“Oh, right, and have Allie homeschool me?”
“I’ll do it myself.”
“You have a job.”
“So does Allie. Parents can have jobs and still homeschool their kids, you know. Especially high schoolers. Come on. What do you say?”