Page 46

Chapter Nineteen
Asher
I dress quickly and am out of the hotel before the sun rises. In less than an hour, I’m ascending the outside stairs and knocking on the door to Allie’s garage apartment. There’s no answer. I contemplate ringing the doorbell to the main house. If she’s having some sort of crisis, maybe she went to her parents after calling me.
But then I check the knob. It turns.
“Allie?” I call quietly so as not to alarm her. I don’t know if she has a bat or a gun. I’m an unexpected intruder. She has no idea I was in the city. I didn’t tell her I was coming. Not after she begged off the last two times I was here. This time, the plan was to do my job then come to Calloway Creek and catch her off guard—and to not let her leave until I’d said what I came to say.
God, she sounded gutted on the phone. She was too wrecked to even speak. I wanted to crawl through the phone and wrap her in my arms. Let her cry on my shoulder. Hold her all day and tell her that whatever it was, it’ll be okay. That I’ll never let anything or anyone hurt her. That I love her more than I ever thought I could love another woman.
As I turn the corner, I quietly call her name again. The living room is dark. The place is quiet, the only light being that of the rising sun starting to shine through the skylight. I lean against the back of the couch pondering my next step when I hear a sound from the bedroom.
Springing up and crossing the room, I stop dead in the bedroom doorway when I see her lying on the bed sleeping. Her phone is on the floor. That’s what I heard. Her phone dropped onto the carpet next to the bed. She turns over again, eyesclosed as she continues her fitful sleep as if her body still hasn’t recovered from the nightmare.
I want to go to her. Climb in bed and hold her still. Comfort her in her sleep.
I don’t. Because I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want me in her bed anymore. Or maybe even her life.
But she called.
All I can do is stand here and stare at her. Like in the living room, there’s a skylight in her bedroom. The more the sun rises, the brighter the room becomes. She’s on her side, facing me but still sleeping. Her features become clearer to me and my heart clenches. My soul hurts. Her face is puffy. Her eyes swollen. How long had she been crying before she called? How long after? What sort of nightmare could cause that visceral reaction?
Still wrestling sleep, she turns and lays flat on her back, the sheet falling to the side. She’s not even in pajamas. It looks like she’s wearing workout clothes. A sports bra and those tight pants women wear when—Wait, what the hell?
There’s a small protrusion on her belly. Over the past seventeen months, I’ve gotten to know every inch of her body. This is not the body I know. Stepping forward for a closer look, I think my eyes are deceiving me. Until my brain finally catches up to what I’m seeing.
She’s… she’s…pregnant.
“What the fuck?” I say loud enough to wake her.
She startles awake and looks around the room like she’s still in a dream. Her eyes land on me. “Asher?” She rubs her eyes with the palms of her hands. Then she looks back at me. Realizing I’m not, in fact, an aberration, she pulls the sheet over her. “What are you doing here?”
“Allie,” I say sternly, my eyes trained on her stomach. “Is it mine?”
The words echo in my head and fear grips me as I wait for an answer.
Of course it’s not mine. That’s why she’s been avoiding me. In an instant, it all starts to make sense. The complete one-eighty she did on me in Antigua. I thought it was because of what Bug did. But the way she avoided my texts the day of the wedding. And how sad she looked when I arrived at her bungalow. Sex that nightwasgoodbye. Because that was the day she found out she was pregnant with another man’s baby.
I lean over and put my hands on my knees, feeling all the life drain out of me. I want to scream at her. Hit the wall. Curse God. But all I can do is think of how much I still love her. And how I still want her. Even if she is having a baby that’s not mine.
Is that why she panicked and called? Does she still have feelings for me even though she was with someone else?
All sorts of shit goes through my head as I await her answer. The answer I fear will destroy me.
She doesn’t respond. But she does nod.
“What?”My head is reeling. “It’smine?”
She nods again. Sadly.
I want to smile and take her in my arms, but then the reality of the situation hits me. She’s pregnant. She’s so pregnant she’s starting to show. And she kept it from me. And she’s… sad. Really, really sad.
My momentary elation turns to anger. “What the hell, Allie? Is this why you’ve been avoiding me? Why haven’t you told me? What kind of game are you playing?” I turn and pace, hands running through my hair as my anger continues to grow. “Did you think I’d bail? You know how much I love kids.”
Ah, shit, maybe it’s the opposite. I turn and face her. “You decided you were done with me and then this happened and you didn’t want to be tied to me in any way? Is that it? Are you so goddamn selfish you would keep my own child from me?”
Through my rage, I almost miss the fact that she’s crying again. No, not just crying. She’s having another panic attack.Shit.