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“I’m good.”
“Your heart rate just went up. I should get the doctor.”
“No. Don’t. I suddenly got super anxious over everything that can go wrong.”
He sits on the sliver of exposed bed next to me and draws me into his arms. “Nothing is going to go wrong.”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
“Babe, we made it this far. And just think, this time next week, when the babies are keeping both of us up all night, you’ll probably be wishing you were still pregnant.”
I shake my head. “You can bet your ass Iwon’t. I’m ready to evict them, Asher. I’m just not ready for anything bad to happen. I’m not sure I could take it.” I close my eyes. “Does that make me selfish? Am I a horrible person for wantingtwoperfectly healthy babies? What if that’s more than I deserve?”
He holds me tight. “Allie,everyonedeserves healthy babies. But, sweetheart, if anyone deserved them more than others, it would be you.” He kisses my temple. “There’s no reason to believe anything bad will happen. If you end up having a C-section, it’s okay. Women have them all the time. If the babies need a little oxygen, that will be okay too. They have an excellent NICU here—just look at what they did for Mitchell. We’re going to deal with whatever happens because they’re our children. But I just know in my heart that everything will be all right. You need to trust in that even if you can’t trust your own feelings, okay?”
I nod. “Okay.”
The door opens and Hudson walks through. I haven’t seen him since before midnight.
“Didn’t you go home?” I ask.
He puts on a pair of latex gloves. “Shut my eyes for a few hours in the on-call room.”
“You’re staying here?”
“I wanted to be close for the big event. Now, let’s see how much progress you’ve made.” He checks my cervix and removes his gloves. “You’re about eight centimeters. It may go quickly now. I’ll check back in an hour. Try to get some rest.”
“Is it time?” Bug asks sleepily from the sofa.
“Not yet,” Asher tells her. “Go back to sleep.”
She rolls over and is out before Hudson leaves the room. Oh, to be a teenager. Andnotbe in labor.
Asher crawls into the bed next to me, wraps me in a hug, and holds me until I drift off.
~ ~ ~
“Allie.”
A light overhead is turned on.
“Allie, wake up.”
When I fully realize where I am and what’s happening, I get nervous and excited all over again.
“Hey, sweetheart. I’m glad you got some sleep, but Hudson needs to check you again.”
“What time is it?”
“Just after four-thirty.”
I touch low on my stomach. “I feel pressure. But this time it’s different. It’s more.”
Hudson sticks a hand inside me for the fourth time since I’ve been here. It’s strange how it doesn’t even bother me. As if being pregnant and in labor somehow makes me immune from the embarrassment of having strangers, acquaintances, and near-enemies poke and prod me in my intimate places. “I think we’re ready.”
“Yeah, I feel ready.” I shift around. “Definitely stuff going on down there.”
“Don’t push yet, Allie. We’re going to move you to the OR.” He puts a hand on my arm. “I’ll see you in there.”