Page 4

“Later, Asher.”
“Bye.”
When I turn, Bug is standing in the doorway, sneering. “I havenotdiscovered boys.”
“Good to know,” I say, not calling her out for listening in on a private conversation. After all, Allie does the same thing. “Guess I have my little girl for a bit longer.”
“I’m not a little girl, Dad. I’m just saying, boys aren’t in the picture.”
I take a step back and study her, wondering if this is going to be one of those moments that defines our relationship from here forward. I try not to show any conflicting emotions when I say, “Okay, girls then.”
She snickers. “I’m not gay, Dad. But I’m not opposed to it. Mel is gay.”
This has my eyebrows touching my hairline. “Mel. Your best friend?”
She shrugs. “It’s no big deal. It’s not like she tries to stick her tongue down my throat or anything.”
“I… uh…”
Easy, Asher. Do not handle this the wrong way.But the thought of anyone, maleorfemale, putting their hands or tongue on my baby makes me want to go all ballistic protective dad.
“Okay, well, I guess good for her. But, you know, if you ever want to talk about things…”
“Ewww. No.”
I step over to the couch and sit, thinking what a terrible father I am. I’ve never had ‘the talk’ with her. “Bug, I’m sorry you don’t have a mom to ask all those important questions. I wish there was someone you could trust with all that… stuff.”
“I’m not sorry.” She gets a coke from the refrigerator and sits on a barstool overlooking the couch. “I like it just being us. Besides, Aunt Marti talks aboutthatstuffwith me.”
“She does?”
I’m served with a huge dose of teen eye rolling. “I’m thirteen, Dad. Aunt Marti has been talking to me about stuff since I was eight.”
The more she says the wordstuff, the more I transpose it with the wordsex, which has my fucking head in a complete tailspin. This is my baby we’re talking about. I still see her as the toddler I’d push on the swing. The little girl who would run to me when she fell and scraped her knee. The pre-teen who cried when she came in last place at the rock-wall climb at a friend’s birthday party.
She’s thirteen. Thirteen-year-olds can have sex. Hell, they can have babies. Where has the time gone? How has she grown up so quickly right under my nose?
And with Marti living in New York now, there’s no one here to act as a mother figure for her.
Immediately, my mind goes to Allie. Why, I’m not sure. Allie has never, not for one second, ever mentioned, suggested, or eluded to wanting the job. What we have is fun. Easy. Convenient. It’s something I can keep separate from my life with Bug and her complete and total aversion to females in my life. Though with Allie’s brother marrying my sister, those lines are converging.
In fact it’s become harder and harder to separate my…relationship?with Allie from my life with Bug. Especially when Bug and I go to Calloway Creek so we can visit Marti and Charlie—my five-year-old nephew and Bug’s only cousin.
The last time we visited, it was all I could do to keep my hands off Allie. I got the idea it was the same for her, which is why we tried to avoid each other. We avoided each other for the sake of my temperamental kid.
But the funny thing is, Bugisn’ttemperamental—until it comes to women I take up with. In fact, she’s growing up to be just like my sister. Generous with her love and hertime. Understanding of the shortcomings of others. Respectful of those who don’t necessarily share our cultural, religious, or political beliefs. She’s a daughter I can be proud of. One I’m close to. She’s the most important person in my life.
She is a pitbull, however, when it comes to any woman on my radar. Sabotage is not hyperbole when I think of the crazy shit she’s done to keep me from having long-term relationships.
Maybe that’s why I go to great lengths to try and keep what Allie and I have from bleeding over into my day-to-day life. If Bug’s tactics were to ruin what I have with Allie like they have with so many others, I know it would leave a huge hole in my life.
I lean back into the couch and sigh, knowing how even though we just parted ways this afternoon, I already miss Allie. I miss her long, honey-brown hair. I miss her million-dollar smile. I miss the way her lips dance around my cock. I miss her long, slender legs, and her toned calves. I miss the way she gets hiccups after almost every meal. I miss… everything about her.
“Dad?”
I look up. “Yeah, sweetie?”
“Are you okay? You look sad. You’re not going to stop me from hanging out with Mel are you?”