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There was no way for me to know, and it killed me. I just wanted to quit thinking about him. It was too painful, and I was tired of feeling so much hatred. Asher. Harper. Damian. I couldn’t stand it anymore. At the moment, I carried less hate in my heart for Asher than the rest. I saw how he’d tried to stop what was happening, and the fact that Damian had paid off a teacher to sequester him away spoke volumes.
Asher wasn’t his accomplice.
Still, Asher had done enough to me in the past, and I was over being treated like shit. I’d suffered enough, and I’d finally hit my breaking point. Honestly, I think people like me with a talent for forgiveness take decades to learn the lessons I’d learned in the last three months. Maybe I should thank them all. Maybe I should just give in to the rage and kill them all. I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. I just wanted to forget.
I’d stayed with Justin and Luna in Justin’s apartment since everything happened. I didn’t feel safe on my own, and Justin was obsessed. He wouldn’tleaveme alone. He said the cameras weren’t enough security. I didn’t mind because, after being forced to watch what had happened in the church, I knew the PTSD would flare, and my nightmares would get worse.
Watching that video had been like watching a movie. It was someone else’s story—not mine. I had no memories of any of it, and even now, the only things I remembered were what I saw in the video. Not what I remembered firsthand.
Once the crying had stopped, I’d called Detective Abbott and learned about the surveillance. I wasfuriousno one had told me before.
“You’re strong. You’re determined. You would have wanted to watch that footage to see if it would have triggered any memories—because you want to help so damn bad, and you’ve felt helpless to do so. And since memories don’t always work like that, it might have been a waste, and you would have traumatized yourself for no reason.”
“Yeah, but you didn’tknowthat! It should have beenmychoice! I’msickof everyone making choicesforme without even allowing me to know what the damned choices are!” I’d yelled at her.
“Did it?”
“Did it what?”
“When you saw the video, did it trigger any memories?”
I’d sighed, knowing she was right—but I still sure as fuck wasn’t happy about it. “No.”
“Exactly. Temperance, I wasn’t trying to hurt you or hide things from you. I was trying to help you. Knowing that video existed servedyouabsolutely no purpose. All it would have done was make you worry and anxiously go back and forth over whether or not you should watch it. Eventually, you would have, and it would have damaged you in the way you are now. I was trying to prevent a setback. And if you won’t accept that, then just remember that a lot that goes on in an investigation isn’t shared with the public—even the victims or families involved.”
Once I’d calmed down, I told her the part of the video where I’d been sitting with Dad and when I’d received the texts so she could verify it. The body language had all been the same. While I didn’t know if it would help, I knew it wouldn’t hurt. All evidence so far pointed to my phone being spoofed, which meant the police department in Indiana now knew I’d been the target—no matter what their suspicions had been before.
I needed to talk to Rick and find out what was being done on his end. I knewsomethinghad to be going on. There was no way in hell he knew what we all did and would just sit back and let it happen. I’d been so fucking wrapped up in all the bullshit at Crestview that I hadn’t been able to spare even a second to look into my parents’ murder.
My obsession was going to get me killed.
Now that one of the objects of my obsession had successfully outed me, that might just happen sooner rather than later.
I got off the elevator in McArthur so I could go to my apartment and get some things. It looked like I wouldn’t be leaving Justin’s apartment anytime soon. I ran inside, packed a bag, and stared angrily at my still-empty cabinets and fridge while I thought about all the bullshit I’d been through. While it had been weeks since the tattoo, I still couldn’t bring myself to keep food or anything in my apartment. I just went to the cafeteria for everything.
There was a light knock on my door, and I sighed. I hadn’t been here at this time of day for a while, so I had no idea why anyone would stop by. It occurred to me it might be Harper—or worse… Damian. I waited a few moments before going to the door. I listened, and I didn’t hear anything, so I risked peeking out. When I saw no one standing there, I opened it wider.
I stepped out to look and kicked something. My gaze wandered down to find a small trunk about eighteen inches wide, ten inches deep, and eight inches tall. I quickly looked down the hall both ways, and as I glanced toward the elevator, I saw a woman with long black hair about to step on. It was pulled up in a high, sleek ponytail. It looked elegant on her from what I could see.
She was around my height and wore a long, fitted black coat that nearly reached the floor. I couldn’t tell what it was made of, but it looked practical while still looking expensive. I heard the ding of the elevator door, and she took a step forward before pausing.
Chills raced through me as the woman turned only her head to meet my gaze. My mouth fell open as I gasped, my eyes going wide.
“Lily!” I shouted, and she smiled before stepping onto the elevator.
There was something about that smile that gave me pause. It was the same one she’d given me in the hospital. It wasn’t cruel or dangerous. It was warm and kind. There was the same warmth in her eyes.Don’t let her leave!
“Lily! Wait!” I yelled out in panic.
What the fuck was I doing? I’d seen the photos. This womanhelpedkill my family and all those other families in that church. She was dangerous as hell, and she’d found me. It was far too soon after what Damian had done for it to be his fault, which meant she knew where I was for a while.
I heard the elevator ding again as the doors started to close, and the realization she was about to vanish again sent adrenaline racing through me.
Kicking the trunk inside my apartment, I closed the door and ran as fast as I could toward the elevator. The doors finished closing just as I reached it.
“Fuck!” I shouted.
I ran further down the hall and through the door leading to the stairs. I was on the third floor, so there was more than likely no way I’d catch up to her, but I still had to try. Running as fast as I could, I took two steps at a time. I wasn’t usually clumsy, so it was a risk I was willing to take.