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My emotions were all over the place. I felt like I was losing something I didn’t even know I had, and it was triggering as hell. Not that IhadDamian, but my feelings for him were realized at the same moment they were squashed, and it was confusing as hell and painful. I just needed to get back to my apartment so I could calm down and let it go. I hoped my logical brain would take back over and remind me how bad an idea it was to get attached to either of them inanyfashion. Yet another topic for the psychologist.
“Asher, the key to my car is in the driver’s seat. I know you love that car, so make sure to have some fun before bringing her back. Break her, you buy her. I trust you, though.”
“Enough,” Damian snapped, but I didn’t listen. I heard a loud groan before rapid footsteps. Within seconds, he stood in front of me. “Inside.Now.You’re not going anywhere.”
I scoffed. “You’re not my dad, my boyfriend, or anyone else who has even the tiniest bit of say in where I go or when. Today was great, but I feel weird as hell being here now after what just happened. We made a truce for theday.It’s well past midnight. The day is over, that means the ceasefire is, too. So, you can go back to being a dick. I’m sure you’re relieved. I’m leaving. I’ll see you Monday.”
I tried to walk around Damian, but he grabbed hold of my arm. “It doesn’t have to be weird or awkward.You’rethe one making it awkward.”
My brows lifted. “Me?You jerked back so fast it was like I’d burned you.Youmade it awkward first. Had that been me, I’d have laughed and said, ‘woops! That was fucking weird. Go see why Asher is taking forever and a day to get the dinner together. I cooked the chicken myself, so I know damn good and well he didn’t have to kill it and pluck it first.’ All would have been fine. But not you, Damian. You had to jerk away and act like I just told you I had a fatal contagious disease. Then you had to call me by my last name to distance yourself and then start to give me what Iknowwould have been an awful and awkward as hell speech about how that meant nothing, and I shouldn’t look into it, and you probably would have even been a dick to make your point.”
He opened his mouth to respond, and my brow raised. He closed his mouth again, speechless for the first time ever.
“Am I wrong?” I asked. “Tell me you weren’t about to crush me under your thumb just to reinforce where we stood. Tell me you weren’t about to break the truce yourself—just to make sure I knew you’d rather die than call me that for real.”
Silence filled the air for several moments. “Damian?” Asher said. “Tell her she’s wrong.”
Damian shook his head. “She’s not, though. That’s exactly what I was about to do.”
I nodded. “I know you too well, Damian. So, just let me go back.” My voice softened. “Let me get out of your hair. You don’t want me here now, anyway. That was way more awkward for you than it was for me. You guys enjoy your weekend. I’ll go back to Crestview.”
The lie about it being more awkward for him than me burned on my tongue. I supposed it wasn’t a proper lie—only partial since it was my own feelings that made it awkward for me and not exactly what he’d said.
My phone dinged, and I looked down at the screen. My Uber was early. “Now, if you don’t mind. I have an Uber to catch. Have a great night. Go inside and enjoy the food. I’ll beat both your asses if you don’t eat it after I spent an hour making it and then got spanked a few times. I expectglowingreviews.”
I forced a laugh at my joke and turned to walk down the drive, but Damian jumped in front of me again.
“Stay. Seriously.” He inhaled deeply and blew it out slowly. “Look, Wilder—”
“Aht, aht, aht!” I said, shaking a finger at him. “I told you. I don’t want to hear your mean reasons. It was a mistake, Damian. Quit making it weird. The fun atmosphere here has been shattered. Just let me go.”
He looked at me incredulously. “Webothknow we could have a fun, super sexy atmosphere back in seconds. Stop fighting me and just listen. I won’t be a dick. I wouldn’t have asked you to stay just to say something mean immediately.”
I sighed. “Fine—but hurry. If you make this worse, I need to catch my Uber.” I smirked.
Shaking his head, he said, “Nowwho’s the mean one?” I snorted, and he continued. “This will probably be the only time you ever hear this, so listen up. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for calling you that—wherever the hell it came from—and I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I don’t know why it upset you, and I’m not sure I want to know, but I actually feel bad about it. So, I’m sorry. You were right—alsosomething you’ll never hear again because I’malwaysright.” Asher and I both laughed as Damian continued. “But I really was going to be a colossal dick. You called it. But you also stopped it, so it didn’t happen. That means the ceasefire never ended. The clock doesn’t tell us when it ends. We do.”
“He has a point there,” Asher said. “You can’t hate him for something hetechnicallydidn’t do. Well… this time.”
I rolled my eyes. “You two are the worst. How am I supposed to argue with both of you?”
Asher stepped closer and pulled me into his arms. I stiffened, but I didn’t move. “I guess you’ll just have to give in. Besides, we made you sexy promises we can’t keep if you leave.”
“Mmhmm. Yes, the mood is in the air now with all this awkwardness. Can’t you feel it?” I asked sarcastically.
“Oh, hush,” Damian said from behind me. “You’re just as nasty as we are in that regard, so it wouldn’t take much. However, I vote we go inside, eat, watch a movie, and then get some sleep. We’ll all feel better tomorrow. It’ll be like a reset. Brand new day.”
Now that I’d realized my feelings, their affection and sweetness burned me. But somehow, that wasn’t even the biggest problem. The biggest issue was that I craved the pain. I would take it because it allowed me to be closer to them, even for a short while.
What… the actual fuck… wasthatabout?
What kind of masochistic bullshit was that?
I backed away from Asher as my phone dinged again, and I could hear the car horn honk even as far away as we were from the gate. Damian snatched my phone and handed it to Asher.
“Cancel it,” he said.
“Tempe,” Asher said softly, holding my phone up. “Stay—or run? I’ll stand by whatever you want.”