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“Yeah,” Asher agreed. “Here, there aren’t asshole parents expecting shit from us or the annoying as hell trust fund bastards trying to claw their way to the top by destroying us. We can just be ourselves.”
“I see,” I said. “I’m sorry you both have so much to deal with.”
Damian snorted, but his expression showed just how little amusement he found in what I said. “Why areyouapologizing tousfor whatwehave to deal with? We’re the ones who inflict everything you deal with on a daily basis. Don’t feel sorry for us. Our parents raised us in their image. We’re no better than they are.”
“I beg to differ,” I said under my breath.
“What was that?” Damian asked.
I sighed and set my fork down. “I said I beg to differ. You two might like tothinkyou’re like your parents because it’s what’s easiest, but you’re nothing like them.”
“Trust me, we don’tliketo think that,” Asher said. “But it is what it is.”
“No, it’s a choice. Trustme. You both hate your parents. So why would youwantto be like them? The answer is, you don’t. You wantnothingto do with them. You certainly don’t want to belikethem. However, if you just accept the lie that youarelike them, it’s easier for you to do the bullshit things they make you do to make you more like them.”
“Well, fuck, just tell us how you really feel, Temperance,” Damian said, looking at me. There was anger in his expression, but I could tell it was forced—at least in part. There was something in his eye that made me think he was interested in what I had to say.
“You despise them and think they’re worthless. You think they deservenothinggood. By proxy, if you believe the lie they tell you and you tell yourselves that youarelike them, then that meansyoudeserve nothing good, either. And you like it that way. Because then when something—or someone—good comes along, you can keep yourself distant because you’ve convinced yourself you don’t deserve it. And you do that because you know that wanting that good thing would make you seem weak in your parents’ eyes. You know they’d find some way to ruin it or take it from you, crushing you in the process like they’ve done time and time again. So, in the end, there’s less pain in telling yourself that you’re just like them than there is in falling in love with someone or finding joy in something they would see as weakness before destroying it and hurting you in the process. How’d I do?”
Asher sighed heavily. “Pretty spot on. Not gonna lie.”
Damian was quiet as he pushed his food around on his plate for a few moments before taking another bite.
“It’s okay, Damian. Despite what you think, I’d never judge you for your parents. I judge you based on your own actions.”
He smiled, but it was sad as he turned to face me. “Then why the hell do you give me the time of day? Because I’m ruthless. My actions are shit.”
I stood and grabbed my plate. As I walked around him, I set it on the corner of the island before wrapping my arms around him and kissing the side of his neck.
“Because I told you if you gave me the chance to get to know you, I’d probably like you. I also told you that if you allowed yourself the chance to get to know me, you’d probably like me, too. Turns out, I’m a pretty good judge of character. Whatever bullshit Sebastian has forced on you, it isn’twhoyou are. It may bewhatyou are at Crestview, but at your core, you’re a good man. Never let him take that from you.”
I hugged him tight and kissed the side of his face before grabbing my plate and taking it to the sink.
“I’m gonna go enjoy that big ass shower,” I said. “Enjoy your breakfast, fellas.”
I made my way through the kitchen and bar room to the stairwell in the living room. The bottom floor had a fresh, modern look, and it was obvious it had been redone. The top floor was still a work in progress. Only part of the hallway was painted. The new color was the same cool-toned grey as downstairs, but there was still a lot of the old dirty cream paint left.
The carpet had obviously been an off-white color before, but it was dingy and stained all over. If I had to guess, I’d say Damian planned to rip it out like the rest of it and put in hardwood. Even though everything up here looked messy, I kind of loved it.
Damian and Asher were doing it all by themselves. They weren’t hiring a team of people to come in. They weren’t inviting a bunch of friends to come over and help. Damian wanted to learn how to do all this stuff, and Asher taught him. It blew me away. It gave me more respect for each of them. It was a work in progress. It was what I’d expect to find in an average house belonging to a family of modest means.
Looking at the partially finished hallway warmed my heart. Damian was in the process of making this place hishome. And from what I knew of Sebastian so far, it was probably the first time he’d ever felt that way. That was probably why it was so important to him to be involved in every part of redoing it. I couldn’t help but be happy for him.
I also couldn’t help but wonder who knew that side of him. No one at school seemed to act that way. Not even his friends outside of Asher.
Damian gave me free rein of his house the night before. Since the other bathrooms in the house weren’t done aside from the guest half bathroom downstairs and his master bathroom, he wanted me to use either of those.
At the end of the hall was the door to the master suite, and what a suite it was. I’d never seen a bedroom so big in my life. The west wall was nothing but floor to ceiling windows facing the ocean. There was a large sitting area next to the windows with tall, built-in bookshelves on either side. He had hundreds of books, and I couldn’t help myself—I nosed through them.
He read a little of everything. Mostly military fiction, sci-fi, and fantasy, but he also had a few dark romances. Becauseof coursehe would. There were a few non-fiction books on history and cultures around the world, and I found a few biographies on some bands that I loved. There was a lot that could be learned by looking at someone’s bookshelf.
On the far right of the room was the bathroom and closet. The bathroom was probably the size of my apartment kitchen and living room put together. For a kitchen and living room, it was small, but for a bathroom, it was enormous.
The floor was white marble tile with black, glittery streaks running through them. He had dark mahogany cabinets and normal white marble countertops, and the shower was tiled in smaller tiles that matched the larger ones on the floor. The walls were his signature grey with a stone blue accent wall. It was beautiful.
The shower had some fancy electronic settings that probably cost more than my life. Had Damian not showed me how to work it last night, I would have been lost.
I turned it on and set it to the temperature I wanted before getting undressed. Water poured from two high pressure heads, one on either end, and a low pressure rain simulator from overhead on the ceiling. Steam quickly filled the room, and I couldn’t wait to step in.