Page 33

After riding my last wave of the day, I join Carter on the beach, collapsing on the towel he’s laid out next to him as he pushes a sports drink into my hand.

“Thanks.”

“You weren’t too bad out there.”

“Is that a compliment? What have you done with Carter Hayes?” I mock gasp.

“Oh, shut up. Take it or leave it, you may not get another one.”

“Oh, I know I will. You dish out praise and compliments like your life depends on it when your cock is down my throat.” Carter chokes on his drink, which makes me laugh.

He leans into my space to smack me, but I grab his wrist before he can make contact, pulling him hard into me.

I’m lying on my back, Carter lying next to me, resting on his elbow and hovering slightly above me.

I look up at him as his smile fades away, his expression morphing as his eyes become heavily lidded, lust taking over.

“You’re so beautiful,” I whisper as I brush the dark, wet strands of his hair out of his face. “I’m so obsessed with you.”

The corner of his lip lifts on the left side, just enough to tell me he liked my words. I don’t expect any more, but he surprises me as he leans in and drops a chaste kiss against the corner of my lips.

“What was that thing you did the night after the beach?”

“What thing?” I play innocent, even though I know exactly what he’s referring to. It was hot as fuck and something I’ve always wanted to try.

“By the stairs, when you put our dicks together and jerked us off like a twisted mix of a Chinese finger trap and a water wiggler.”

I can’t help it, I burst out laughing. A deep belly roll laugh that I haven’t felt in years.

“Goddamn, what a visual you just gave me.”

“It’s true! What the hell was that man?”

“Docking. You liked it?”

“I want to do it again.”

“That good, huh?”

“You blew my mind.”

I roll closer to him so that we’re blocked from anyone seeing anything inappropriate, grabbing his dick quickly through his pants and finding him already hard.

“You want it, lover? Want me to sheath your dick while I jerk us until we both blow?”

Carter’s breathing picks up, and I love how responsive he is to me. He leans in, nipping at my bottom lip, making me hiss.

“Let’s get you home then, and I’ll take care of us.”

I’m on cloud nine as Carter and I put the beach stuff away. I haven’t had this much fun in so long, and I’ve never been able to be so openly affectionate with another person. Carter is still figuring out who he is and understanding his sexuality, but he’s surprisingly open to everything we’ve done.

“I’m going to go make a phone call and check on things before I jump in the shower. Movie night and burgers?” he asks.

“Sounds good to me. I’ll go take a quick shower and order us some food. ”

Carter heads to the other bedroom for some privacy, and I head to mine with a smile on my face.

Walking into my bedroom, I have to do a quick double-take to understand the sight in front of me. Bleach blonde hair flows across one of the pillows, her face buried in her arm, naked body on full display from the back, a plump ass completely bare right in front of me.

“What the fuck?” I practically snarl. The woman sits up, grabbing the sheet and holding it to her full breasts, confirming what I already suspected.

“Lexi,” I gasp. My heart stops and for a split moment, I’m frozen to my spot, unable to comprehend what the hell is happening. “Get dressed! What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for you. You’re on vacation, I wanted to surprise you.”

This reeks of my father. That fucking bastard will stop at nothing to get me to do exactly what he wants. Does he really think trying to force a woman on me is going to make me any less gay? Make me the dutiful son that he wants so badly?

“You can’t be here, Lexi. Get dressed, now, and you need to leave! Quickly!”

“Griffin, you can’t be serious. I flew five hours to be here with you, let’s enjoy our time. Your dad said we could even extend the trip.”

“There is no ‘we,’ Lexi. Now get out!” I’m in full panic mode now, knowing Carter could be done at any moment, grabbing the baby blue dress that’s lying on the armchair and throwing it at her. She pulls it over her head, finally covering up her naked body, and then slips from the bed.

“We could be great together, Griffin. Why won’t you give us a chance?”

“Because I’m gay, Lexi! I’m fucking gay. I’m into men and only men. A life with me would be miserable for both of us and not something that was ever in the cards.”

“Surely that’s not true,” she says as she walks up to me, dragging her nails down my bare chest. I’m on the verge of yelling, of pushing her back a step, but Carter’s voice breaks through like an icepick to my heart.

“What the fuck is going on here? Who is this?”

“Hi! I’m Lexi, Griffin’s girlfriend.” My head spins, a hot flash washing over me, and I sway slightly on my feet.

Carter’s head whips in my direction so fast that it probably hurts, his eyebrows shooting up, a quick flash of pain crossing his face before his stony walls are slammed back down in place, fracturing my heart in the process.

“Girlfriend?” he repeats, eerily calm, more inquisitive than alarmed. The transition of his emotion is subtle, but I caught it—because I know him. I anticipate a panic attack rising, but it’s the complete opposite. Like he’s broken, empty.

“She is not my girlfriend. I can explain. Give me a minute, and I’ll explain everything.”

“Well, hopefully fiancé, but we’re taking things slow.” Holy fuck, my dad had to find the one bat shit crazy broad in Washington State to sic on me. Carter just nods his head in slow motion, retreating and taking my heart with him. I have to get to him, I have to explain.

“Lexi, we aren’t anything. I just told you I was gay, you need to leave, now!

” My fingers grip around her dainty wrists just tight enough that I have her attention but not enough to come close to causing her pain.

I grab her purse off the dresser and push it into her chest. “You’re leaving.

Go back to the airport, call your dad, and go the hell home. ”

“You’re actually serious.”

“Deadly. I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’ve been told, but we were never going to be a thing. I’ve been polite, I’ve tolerated family dinners, but this was never going to be anything more than two people being friendly.”

“Wow.” It seems as dense as she is that it’s finally sinking in.

She rips her wrist from my hand, and I release her immediately as she storms outside.

By the time the slam of the front door echoes through the house, Carter has retreated to his bedroom.

I jog down the hallway to get to him, finding him packing.

“Carter . . . can we talk?”

“No.”

“Wh—” I clear my throat of the emotion currently clogging it, making my speech come out strangled.

“Where are you going?” I try to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill over, stinging my eyes.

He’s really not going to let me explain?

I would never do something like this. I know how it feels to find someone you care about screwing around behind your back, and I can imagine what’s going through his head right now. But none of it is correct.

“Home.”

“Please stay.”

“Can’t.”

He continues to shove his clothes into his bag, wrapping up his computer and phone chargers, throwing an Aspen Ridge Distillery sweatshirt over his head, and covering the torso that I’m well acquainted with.

“For fuck’s sake, Carter, will you give me more than these one-word answers?”

“No.”

“Can I explain? Please .”

“No.”

Fuck this. Reaching for his bag, I rip it off the bed and throw it into the closet, forcing him to give me a reaction other than borderline empty.

He’s withdrawing into himself, and I wait for the signs of an oncoming panic attack, but they don’t seem to be there.

Instead, he’s dejected, almost vacant. I don’t know what’s worse.

“Look at me.” My shoulders slump as his jaw ticks back and forth, his fists clenching at his sides, but he doesn’t make eye contact. “ Please ,” I beg, my voice thick with emotion I’m not bothering with hiding.

He finally lifts his eyes from the spot across the room he’s been focused on, his beautiful blues connecting with mine.

His face is drained of color, eyes that have been so full of life and happiness the last few days are now hollow and lost. He seriously jumped to the worst-case scenario and isn’t going to let me explain.

How can I even push to explain when he’s already made up his mind about me?

Carter remains unresponsive, having disconnected himself from everything we shared over the weekend, everything that’s between us.

He’s going to bury down everything he feels at the first sign of turmoil.

Once we return to Washington, we’ve got a whole helluva lot more than this to face, and I stupidly thought that I was enough that we would face it together.

The silence that stretches between us is oppressive, almost suffocating, and I find myself at a loss for words.

“Okay,” I say solemnly, accepting defeat. Carter’s eyes flash with surprise, and then he nods his head a few times as I step out of the room. I’ve been fighting for love and acceptance my entire life. I can’t do it anymore.