Page 74 of Vying Girls

A whole chunk of life I never bore witness to. She’ll be twenty soon, same as me. Probably the only two kids who enjoyedsharing a birthday, who didn’t want to spend it with any of our schoolfriends, only each other.

I’m gutted I missed out on all of that. They’re such formative years. I spent much of them sad—an angsty, frenetic kind that often felt all-consuming. I can easily imagine the type of sad Nic was. Quiet, self-destructive. Hurts I wasn’t there to soften it. I want to rage at her dad for splitting us up—rage at myself for being the one to bring it all to light.

‘Did you stay local?’ I ask cautiously. ‘After everything happened?’

I watch her chest rise and fall in a sigh, knowing she’s right on the cusp of clamming up again.

‘Not too far.’

‘We moved pretty soon after,’ I say quickly, desperate to keep her talking. ‘Mum couldn’t keep the house. No money for it. I tried you on social media, you know. Never could find you. Do you have it?’

‘Not under my name.’

‘How come?’

‘So certain assholes couldn’t find me.’

‘You mean me?’ I ask quietly.

‘No, actually, Tilda. Not you. Damien. You know him? Can’t imagine why I wouldn’t want him tracking me down. Except, fuck, he already knew this whole time.’ Her lips turn up into a smile that just as quickly dies.

‘Should we…maybe think about calling the police?’

She considers that. ‘Wouldn’t be the worst idea. Except, you know, the countless women who do that and still end up murdered because the police don’t do shit for them.’

I take a breath against my rising anxiety. ‘Yeah, I kind of really don’t want to get murdered.’

‘And you won’t.’ She stands up, making me step back with how close she suddenly is. ‘Not if those useless idiots do their jobs.’

‘They’re fine. Don’t be too hard on them.’

She huffs gently, never liking it when I defend them against her. ‘I’ll rethink the police thing in the morning.’

‘Have you ever got them involved with him before?’

She regards the glittering shards in the dustpan. ‘Once.’

‘Did they do anything?’

‘Did they fuck. I was high and hysterical and kind of flipping out. Damien—he can be so fuckingcool.Had them all eating out of his palm, completely defused the situation. He’s a proper boy’s boy; they all are. I was just his fucked-up, coked-up little cousin. And my aunt denied it all too, so—’ She shrugs and turns to the door. ‘They sent me to a drugs awareness course and that was that.’

I feel tears prick my eyes. The fucking injustice of it. My blood burns. I don’t even know his face, but I’m imagining clawing at it. I’d rip him to shreds for what he’s done to Nic.

‘Maybe we can get justice in a different way.’

Nic looks at me questioningly.

‘Hazelhurst is above the law, right? I’m not stupid. I know that what goes on at the Vaults is probably only the tip of the iceberg. I bet shit like that goes on here.’

‘What shit?Murder?’

‘I’m not saying we… I don’t know what I’m saying. Just something to think about.’ I blow out a forceful breath. ‘I would literally murder him right now if he was here.’

‘Yeah. I used to think that.’ Shaking her head, she saunters off. ‘Never goes down that way.’

CHAPTER 12

Tilda