Page 148 of Vying Girls

I nod cautiously. She means more than sex. I can infer that much. After the events of the day, I’ll happily give her anything. I don’t want to be scared like that again. Listening to that fuck on the phone, another bastard man wanting to cause her harm.

If it stops her leaving again, I’ll do anything she wants.

Tilda

I’ve been staring into nothing for an hour when Elly peeks her head round the door, my heart summersaulting at the sight of her. Relief drenches me when she returns my tentative smile.

‘May I join you?’

I breathe out a chuckle at her formal tone. ‘Be sad if you didn’t.’

Closing the door, she slips under the quilt, wiggling until she’s pressed right up against me.

‘Sorry,’ she burrs into my hair. ‘I’ve been shit today.’

‘Not as shit as me,’ I mumble back, lips pressed against her chest. ‘Sorry about leaving. I literally wasn’t thinking.’

‘Just don’t do that again. Talk to me. That’s what I’m here for.’

‘I know. It’s just…stuff with Nic. I know she’s your friend…’

‘Won’t be if she keeps on upsetting you.’ Elly pulls back, stroking hair from my face. ‘You better brace yourself. Haz is on her way to interrogate you about Nic.’ She smiles wryly. ‘And not just about the kissing I heard you two were doing.’

I groan weakly, closing my eyes. Not sure I’m ready to talk about that. I just want to hold it close in my mind for a little longer.

I love Elly and Haz but there’s something so deliciously illicit in Nic choosing to fuck me. That’s three times now, each as astonishing and unexpected as the last.

And kissing her…ten-year-old me needs a slap.

I huff against Elly’s chest, the relief of her arms around me making me feel oddly high.

Her lips had been perfect. Hard and devouring. Like she was screaming at me inside her mind. I listened to her noises, tryingto divine everything behind them, desperately wishing I could see her eyes. I took what she was able to give, reading the care behind her violent actions, the anger at my cutting, the frantic, useless quest to stop me doing it again.

She was saying sorry. It seeped from her, haunting her eyes as we lay catching our breath. It was a nice step forward, but I can’t stop my heart from sinking, wondering what the two steps back will look like this time. She always retreats after something like this, reinhabiting the Nic who hates me.

I snuggle Elly closer, gleaning her comfort. Unable to resist, I leave a kiss on her lips. ‘You are my favourite thing in the whole world.’

She grunts, hugging me tighter. ‘Despite being stretched between three now?’

‘You’re the only one in my bed right now.’

‘True. Losers.’

I laugh quietly, the horrors of the day slipping away like oil down the drain.

Lifting my head, I take her lips in a soft kiss, thanking every deity out there for sending me this lovely, balm of a soul. I feel sleepy as she gently strokes my cheek. It’s too early to call it a day but I’m more than ready to put this one behind me.

When the door opens again, Elly only tightens her grip on me, paying our visitor no mind.

Haz groans, a thud sounding like she just kicked closed the door. ‘Fuck, is this Kiss Tilda Day or something?’

‘That should be every day, thank you very much.’

Haz eyes me as she slips to my other side, letting me know she’s not here for playtime. ‘You and Nic,’ she says, straight to the point as usual. ‘Tell us. What the fuck happened ten years ago?’

I sigh, playing restlessly with the toggle on Elly’s hoodie. ‘You mean the reason she hates me so much?’

‘That’s a start.’