Page 49 of Vying Girls

‘Alright. I believe ya.’ She gives my head a rub. ‘So you two didn’t share a bed on Anarchy night?’

‘Well, yeah, but I was beyond fucked that night.’

‘So if something happened, you wouldn’t have remembered.’

‘I would have rememberedthat.’

I definitely remember the way she spooned me practically naked. How I didn’t care just because she was warm.

‘So what did happen?’ Haz comes onto her side to face me. ‘Did you just crash or carry on fighting?’

‘Bit of both.’

‘What happened?’ she presses. ‘Tell me.’

I put a hand to my heart as it starts to thump. Knowing how fucking annoying it is when Nic clams up, which is always, I never want to do that with anyone, let alone Haz. It’s not like I’ve been purposefully keeping from telling them. It’s been wanting to burst free pretty much every second of every day. I just wanted to speak to Nic first. But seeing as though that isn’t about to happen, so what if Haz and Elly know?

Besides, Elly pretty much said I need to prove to Haz I’m serious about her. This can be step one in earning her trust, no matter how traumatic the story. It’s not like I have to tell her everything tonight.

‘How much do you know of Nic’s childhood?’

‘Enough.’

‘Tommy’s her cousin,’ I say carefully, recalling the horror of our conversation.

‘Yeah, I know that.’ A line forms on Haz’s forehead. It’s clear she dislikes Tommy as much as Nic does. That blind loyalty again.

‘She had another one, didn’t she? Another boy cousin.’

Haz’s eyes meet mine. There’s a warning in them.

‘Say his name and I’ll have you out on your ass.’

‘Don’t want to say the fucker’s name.’

She studies me a further moment before giving a nod. It’s one of approval, as well as acceptance. A shared understanding of some dark, unnameable thing; an agreement of Nic’s protection.

‘Do you know what happened before all that?’

She shifts one shoulder in a shrug. ‘Things were good.’

Yeah. They were. Was never Nic who was the problem.

‘Her dad was with someone,’ Haz goes on. ‘She had a daughter, same age. Nic said they were close. Says it was the only time she remembers being happy.’

Haz is wearing a necklace, some pendant made of leather. I fiddle with it, the ribbon a black slash on my wrist. ‘Did she ever tell you why she was sent to her aunt’s?’

Haz frowns. ‘Yeah, because her dad fucking hanged himself.’

‘And do you know why?’

‘Tilda, just spit it out. Don’t want to play twenty questions with you. Go and ask Nic this shit.’

‘You think I haven’t tried?’

‘Tilda.’ Haz rolls on top of me, cupping my cheeks, fingers pressed over my ears so my hearing’s muffled. ‘You’re fucking me off. Just tell me.’

I draw in a breath, peering into the black pools of her eyes. ‘It was me. I was the daughter. Nic’s stepsister back then.’