Page 103 of Vying Girls

‘Oh yeah, because you’re fucking both my best friends.’

‘Iloveboth your best friends.’ Then I pause because I haven’t said that to either of them yet. I wave a hand around as if to dissipate it. ‘Whatever. Please just let me go sleep in my room.’

‘No. I’m also going to be waking you up every couple of hours. If just to piss you off.’

‘Alright.’ I yank down her quilt and bury myself beneath it. ‘And I’m going to toss and turn all night. Might even snore. Just to piss you off.’

She doesn’t reply to that, just pulls herself up next to me, opening her book again and completely ignoring me.

‘This is weird,’ I grouse.

‘Been involved in weirder.’

‘You lot are obsessed with having me in your bed. I’m not a fucking bed warmer.’

‘Believe me, Tilda, you survive the night and I’ll happily kick you out.’

I close my eyes, snuggling further into her pillow. She must have washed her bedding recently; it smells of Elly’s washing powder. ‘You’re deranged.’

‘Right back at you.’

After a while of total silence, my cheeks burning whenever my stomach decides to grumble, she swaps her book for an e-reader, dimming the light of her lamp and tucking her legs under the quilt.

‘Do Haz and Elly know you’ve kidnapped me?’

‘Wasn’t aware I had to ask for permission.’

‘They already think we’re fucking.’

Nic eyes me coldly. ‘And why would they think that?’

‘Because you’re acting obsessed with me.’

I watch her carefully, less self-conscious now we’re back on familiar ground, taking snipes at each other.

Nic only shakes her head, not at all rattled by my accusation. ‘Jesus, you think highly of yourself. You’re not going to give me any peace tonight, are you?’ With a sigh, she tosses the e-reader onto the nightstand and turns off the lamp.

I tense as she lies down, able to feel the heat of her now. She’s in those baggy pyjamas of hers, probably sans underwear like me.

She sighs again in the dark, probably regretting this whole thing. My body tingles having her so close, the place between my legs trying to stir awake. I shift to banish the sensations. I’d chalk them up to the non-existent bump on my head if that had happened first. Maybe this is just part of my baby-gay-looking-at-every-girl-differently phase. But I know it’s not. Nic isn’t just some girl. She’s every awful and amazing thing in my life.

It gets less uncomfortable the longer I stay here. I’m wide awake now, eyes as round as the moon as I fight to see the outline of her.

This is familiar. This was our thing. I listen to her breathing, wondering if she’s remembering too, if there was any more to our sleepovers than sisterly fun. We were babies, but kissing was definitely on my mind back then. I’d kissed a few boys by thetime I was ten, silly sloppy pecks as we hid around walls or trees. As for Nic, she only wanted to kiss me.

I feel a stab of guilt remembering my reaction to her tentative asking. I thought she was just being silly, wanting to practise forboys.Shit, no wonder she was so upset afterwards.

Could it be, after all this time, she still feels the same?

‘Nic?’ I wait for her hum of acknowledgement before barrelling on with, ‘Do you fancy me?’

I hold my breath.

Nic lets out a surprised laugh. ‘What?’

‘Pretty simple question.’

‘Oh, is it?’