Page 21 of Vying Girls

She works her way up, inching towards my nipple where she rolls it between her fingers, making my breath catch.

I turn my head towards her, her lips instantly seeking mine. She keeps on tweaking my nipple until my hips are moving, seeking friction on the seam of my bed shorts.

‘Sharing is caring,’ Haz rumbles from my other side.

I take her hand and place it on my inner thigh. Tensing, I wait to see what she’ll do with it. She palms my leg, squeezing my flesh, wrist just grazing where I need her to be. Her face nuzzles the back of my neck, and I’m trapped, suffocated between them.

It would be a lie to say I haven’t thought about it, what it would feel like to be taken by the two of them. It’s likesome inevitability we’re careening towards. We’re all aware of it. They’re seeking me out more and more, beyond the nights I share with them alone.

And I want it. Fuck, do I want it. I want Elly’s gentle dominance and Haz’s…not so gentle dominance. I want them fighting over who gets to touch me,howthey get to touch me. I want to be a limp puppet beneath them both, the carrion between two vultures.

But not this morning.

This morning, Elly breaks the kiss and Haz caresses my leg instead of squeezing it. And I still feel like I might vomit.Again.Shit, forgot I did that last night too. With Nic’s face hovering above me as I sat on the toilet floor shivering.

No, this definitely wasn’t what I begged the moon for.

Nic

My God. Nic, I—shit, you look so different.

I throw my hand into the tree, banishing the complicated wonder in her face.

I thought of you so much. Wondered what happened to you.

Shaking my head, I add a little twist this time. The bark splits my knuckles, the pain so sharp I forget for a second.

It’s not enough. How can it be enough? She’s swimming inside me. I still feel her fingers on my leg, my shifting them to get rid of the tingles. So suddenly aware of our tangled, half-clad bodies.

She threw on the light in the end, duvet pressed to her bare chest. She looked at me, raking those smeared eyes over every inch of my body. She was trying to seeher,but she died. Nothing of her left. Just memories.

‘Turn off the fucking light.’

Our cheeks pressed together as I reared up for the switch. Even with it off, her face still swam before me like retinal bleaching. I closed my eyes, rubbing them hard.

Next time I opened them, I was alone in the bed. Tilda was retching in the toilet. I made my way in the dark to where she was, sat on the floor hugging herself. I pulled the hand towel down and handed it to her. She pressed it to her chest, staring at me warily.

I remember damning myself in that moment. For all the fucking times to do that…

‘I think we should sleep now.’

‘Feel like I already am,’ she replied weakly.

I smiled thinly, hauling her by her arm. ‘This is no dream. A nightmare, maybe.’

Back in bed, she laid there watching me. Shivering again. Just fucking wretched.

‘Nicole?’

‘What?’

‘Is this real?’ she whispered.

I wasn’t even sure, not in that moment. The world had shifted. I was off kilter. Not trusting the timeline I was in. Years of drugs will do that. Mind’s fucking addled.

I don’t remember what I replied, if anything.

I drop my hands when I’m out of breath. The blood is satisfying but I need more.