Page 9

EIGHT

Owen

NOW

Four months later…

T here was something calming about being in the rink, the cool bite to the air and the smell of the ice invading my senses. The feeling of my skates gliding across the freshly frozen ice only heightened the experience. It had always been one of my favorite places. Even now, at the tail end of my fourth training camp in professional hockey, it still was.

Here, everything else faded away. I barely even took a breath as I kept my eye on the puck. Every muscle was finely honed for this. Coach Donovan had us playing a scrimmage game, and even though this wasn’t my first year with the team, I still felt the pressure to perform. As a defenseman, my primary role was to keep the puck away from the opposing team and prevent them from scoring on us. I’d garnered more assists during my career than I had goals, but that was perfectly fine with me.

Skating up the ice towards the other team’s goal, one of my teammates passed it in my direction, and seeing the opening, I didn’t even have to think. I just moved. My stick collided with the puck, and I sent it sailing.

“That’s our boy!” Brooks Hendrix, the other half of my defensive pair, cheered as the puck hit the back of the net. “Look at that beautiful one-timer.”

I pumped my fist in the air as the other guys on the ice came around me, surrounding me in a group huddle.

Our team captain, Stefan Kovac, a left winger, slapped my back. “Way to go Harps!”

“Fuck yeah.” I grinned. “It’s gonna be a damn good year.”

“Hell yeah it is.” Maverick Hendrix—right winger and older brother of Brooks—exclaimed as we all skated back to the bench. Him and Brooks weren’t twins, even though they looked so similar, with their light brown hair and light eyes, though Brooks had a good two inches in height on his older brother.

Rhodes Larsen, who played center, was the only one who wasn’t smiling, though we were all used to his broody behavior by now. He was the tallest guy on our team at six foot seven, and he was an absolute beast on the ice. Despite his size, he often snuck in and scored when the other team didn’t even see him coming.

Mav, Stefan, and Rhodes all made up the first line of the team, and watching them together was like magic . Though the lines were constantly getting moved around, especially during camp, I knew they’d be a top-scoring line in the league this season. We’d all been training hard, preparing for the season, and the pre-season would start soon. I was looking forward to getting back to it. Last year, we’d made it to the playoffs, but had lost in the first round. This year, we were ready to fight our way to the top.

All of our assistant coaches were also on the ice, working with their respective groups, including Victoria Monroe, who was in charge of the forwards. She was our newest assistant coach and had a pretty spectacular career in the PWHL before she came to us. We were damn lucky to have her. Our goaltending coach was over at the net, working with Reid MacKenzie, our goalie, and Matthias Farkas, our alternate goalie, as well as the other goalie recruits.

Brooks fist-bumped me as we sat on the bench, catching our breath. He took his helmet off, smoothing down his brunette hair, before pulling it back on. “You’re playing even better this season, man.”

I scratched the back of my neck before guzzling down water. “I don’t know about that.”

He hummed. “Sure, you do. Something’s different. What changed?”

Her . I shut my eyes, trying not to think about Ellie or how I’d snuck out of there while she’d been sleeping. How even though I still missed her like fucking crazy, I felt almost lighter now. Like there wasn’t this heavy weight resting on my shoulders, dragging me down.

“You’ve been more relaxed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so calm on the ice before.”

“He probably finally got laid,” Maverick joked from my other side. He was a hopeless flirt, and I knew how much he loved women. That wasn’t like me, though.

Rhodes, sitting next to him, slapped his helmet.

“Grumpy old man,” Mav muttered, staring down at his skates.

The worst part was he wasn’t wrong.

Shrugging, I turned back to the ice, watching as the scrimmage match continued. We didn’t have long before we had to go back out there and do it all over again. “I guess I had a nice summer. There’s nothing else to it.” I definitely would not admit that I had, in fact, slept with someone.

Brooks’s lips tilted up in a knowing smile. Of all the guys on the team, I’d spent the most time with the two brothers, and a few of us had a group chat. “You saw your girl, didn’t you? ”

“She’s not my girl,” I muttered, rubbing the spot in between my eyebrows under my helmet. She hadn’t been mine for a long time. I thought about what it had been like seeing her in the stands at my games. Knowing that the last name on her back was mine. Thinking that one day, it would be hers too. We’d never talked seriously about marriage, but from the very first date, I’d been able to see a life for us.

And when it was all over, it had felt like nothing was left.

“My sister graduated college,” I said instead. “I went home for her graduation party.”

“ Sure . Still, tell me about it. What was it like, seeing your first love again?”

I was saved from having to answer him as we were signaled back onto the ice. Hopping over the ledge, we quickly immersed ourselves back in play.

What was it like? It was everything . And damn if I didn’t want a repeat of that night. I’d gladly do it all over again. But I had to remind myself that wasn’t happening. She’d been perfectly clear on what she wanted from me. It had given me some strange sense of closure. Maybe all I’d needed to move on was to get her out of my system. The next time a pretty girl flirted with me at a bar, I’d flirt back. And I wouldn’t be thinking about who I’d rather be with. Hopefully.

By the time we were finished with training camp for the day, I was dripping with sweat. Coach Donovan called us all over to circle up, giving us a run-down for the end of the week with our first scheduled pre-season game. The team was split in half, all the new guys trying to prove their worth, so we wouldn’t all play every game, but I was looking forward to getting things underway.

Our first game of the pre-season was at home against Vancouver—our closest team and biggest rivals. Games always ended up heated, with gloves dropping easily and players often chirping at each other while on the bench. We would play each nearby team twice during the pre-season— once on home ice, and once away, which meant we’d be heading up to Calgary and Edmonton as well.

After Donovan dismissed us, we all headed back to the locker room. Fifty something guys made the room feel even more crowded than normal, but we all knew that by the time the season started, most of the prospects would be gone.

Brooks and Maverick joined me in our corner after we’d all showered, and from the glimmer in their eyes, I knew that the conversation from earlier wasn’t over.

“Are you going to see her again?” Mav asked, pulling on his t-shirt as we all dressed.

Well, I certainly hoped she wouldn’t avoid me for the next five years, but—“It’s in the past.” I shrugged.

Brooks raised an eyebrow. “And you’re good with that?”

“What is this, a double Hendrix team-up?” They had those on the ice every once in a while, and yeah, they were deadly. “Yeah, guys. I’m good with it. Really, it’s a good thing. We talked. Now I can move on.” Neither one of them looked convinced, but that didn’t matter. “Look, you know I’ve been hung up on her for years. But she’s in Portland, and I’m here. And she made it clear exactly what she wanted.”

“Most people would be a grumpy asshole after their girl dumped them,” Maverick muttered to his brother. “I mean, just look at Larsen over there. Instead, this guy’s like a ray of damn sunshine.”

Rhodes Larsen was one of the older guys on the team—he’d spent his entire career with the Seals. He flipped Mav off before pulling a baseball cap on backwards over his dark hair. Secretly, I knew Rhodes didn’t mind the guy, but it was part of the rapport they’d built. I grinned. God, it was good to be back with my boys. I loved this place, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“It was a mutual thing,” I finally said. “No dumping happened.” Not this time, at least. “It’s good. I’m good.” I nodded to myself. It doesn’t matter now. It’s in the past. We’re in the past.

Running my fingers through my damp dark blond strands, I pulled on a sweatshirt over my t-shirt. It was already getting cold outside. Sometimes, I was damn jealous of the teams in Florida that had warm weather almost year round. Meanwhile, it was late September, and I’d already almost forgotten what the sun looked like. Seattle and Portland weren’t all that different, really. They both were drizzly and overcast more months out of the year than I could count, though I’d grown used to living here. When I’d first moved here, I’d spent my entire first year wishing I was back home in Portland. Missing my family. Missing her .

I’d entered the NHL draft the summer after I turned 18, getting picked in the second round by the Seals, and then I’d started college here a few months later at the University of Washington, playing for the Huskies D1 Hockey Team. Six years later, here I was.

“What are you up to for the rest of the day, Harps?” Brooks asked as he shoved his stuff in his bag.

I shrugged. It was only mid-afternoon, and I had planned to go on a new hike I’d found and then catch up with one of my new books. I always did my best thinking in the wilderness, surrounded by the blue skies and pine trees. “Not much. Found a new trail. Probably some laundry.”

Things I wouldn’t have as much time for once the season started.

“I’m heading out,” I announced to the guys. Reid, our goalie, nodded at me as he swiped a towel over his mess of red hair. “See y’all tomorrow.”

Then I escaped before one more person could ask me about my summer or the girl I’d left behind.

Leaving the IcePlex, I headed back to my apartment in the city. I’d moved into this unit after signing my contract extension last year, and while it was way more space than any single person needed, I was also getting paid way more than I knew what to do with. It wasn’t like I was out drinking every night or wasting it. Most of the money I earned from playing professional hockey went into my savings account.

But I’d stepped into this apartment and it just felt… right. Like I could picture a life here.

Someone curled up on the couch, waiting for me to get home from games. A puppy curled up next to them. Laughter. Love.

One day, I wanted all of that. A family. Though I had plenty of years left until I needed to think about settling down. For now, I was at the top of my game in the NHL, and I wouldn’t let anything jeopardize my focus.

Though I’d been wanting to get a dog for the last few years, a companion for the quiet nights in my apartment or to take hiking with me. We’d always had one growing up, and I missed having an animal to snuggle with. Call me soft-hearted, but I’d grown up in a house where we’d never had to hide our feelings. And I wasn’t ashamed to admit that I was lonely.

Unfortunately, with my travel schedule, getting a dog felt selfish when I wasn’t home for days at a time for road trips and away games.

Sighing, I threw my bag on the floor of the laundry room so I could start it later tonight. All of my gear was handled by the team, but I still liked to wash my under layers myself at home. I wasn’t the most superstitious of hockey players, though there were plenty on my team, but I still had my routines that I followed every game day. Putting on my gear in the same order, just like I’d done since I was a kid. Taping my stick the same way each night. Wearing my sleeves tighter and pushed up past my wrists because I liked the way the cool air felt against my skin.

Nothing crazy.

Collapsing on the couch, I debated going for that hike, but decided I’d save it for my next day off, and picked up my most recent fantasy novel recommendation I’d gotten from my mom. The plot was amazing—full of political intrigue, and, yes, romance. My mom wrote romance novels, so I was no stranger to them. Though I hadn’t read hers, because reading a sex scene your mother wrote felt wrong.

When I glanced back up a few hours later, it was to the sun setting over the city skyline. One of the best parts about this apartment was the view I had and the large glass windows.

Longing and desire filled my heart.

Longing to have someone by my side. Desire for the only woman I couldn’t have. The woman who was practically inked over my heart like the tattoo on my skin.

I pretended I was fine, because really—what did I have to complain about? My life was amazing. I’d always been the happy-go-lucky guy on the team. The one who was happy to talk to the media and always had a smile on my face.

But I’d lied before, when I’d told the guys it was over.

Because as much as I tried to move on, Ellie Bradford would never stay in the past. She haunted me, invading my dreams as much as she did my thoughts each day.

Then and now… She was it for me.

Too bad I couldn’t have her.