Page 22

NINETEEN

Ellie

THEN

Summer

D ancing Queen by ABBA was playing over the speakers at my seventeenth birthday party, and I was dressed in a blue eyelet lace sundress with a Birthday Girl sash on. It was a warm summer evening, but that wasn’t uncommon for July in Portland. My entire backyard was filled with cousins, family friends, and loved ones. It felt like everyone important to me was here.

And I was thankful, for once, that I had a summer birthday. It sucked during the school year, when everyone else got to have cupcakes or cookies on their birthday, and I never did. But this year, I was grateful for summer vacation.

Because it meant my boyfriend was home, and he could be here.

We’d survived our first year of long distance, and it wasn’t easy. Not with his hockey schedule and living three hours away. But luckily, he’d come home whenever he could. And this year, I finally had a driver’s license. Which meant I could go visit him on long weekends if my parents said yes. I was pretty sure they would—they knew we weren’t having sex, and we somehow got away with way more than my brother and sister ever had.

This year, for the first time, I’d missed Owen’s birthday, since he’d been back at college in Washington and had a hockey game on the same day. But having him home made up for that.

I never thought I’d be that girl who was sitting around, waiting for her boyfriend to come home, but this year had felt like it was barely creeping by.

Finally, we were in the same place for more than just a long weekend and I intended to take full advantage of that.

Even if I had no idea where he was at the moment. Since the rest of my guy cousins were suspiciously absent from my party, I assumed they were all together in my parent’s basement, most likely playing video games.

“Happy Birthday, El!” Another girl I trained with at the rink came up to me, wearing a short purple sundress with her dark hair pulled back in a braid.

“Hi, Brigitte,” I said, hugging her. “Thanks for coming.”

“How’s your summer been?” she asked, running her fingers through her dark hair. At the rink, she often had it in a slicked back bun.

“It’s been great,” I offered. “Working on college applications and stuff. You know, the usual.”

She nodded. “Oh, I remember that well. I’m so glad that’s behind me.” She was going to UC Berkeley this fall, a school that was well known for their figure skating program. “What are you going to do about your boyfriend if you go to a different school?”

I frowned, because I hadn’t really thought about that. Of course, I’d applied to go to the same school as him. I’d applied to the University of Portland, too, my parent’s alma mater, which was also where Penny had applied. She was lucky enough to get free tuition, though, since her dad was a professor there.

I couldn’t imagine going somewhere where Owen wasn’t. Namely, because the distance was feeling so big.

“We’ll make it,” I promised, though my voice came out shakier than I meant for it too.

“Gosh, it’s been weird not seeing him at the rink this year. You two were always glued at the hip.”

It was weird, but that was because I was so used to our routine. Us sitting on the bench together. Owen tying my skates for me. Now, I normally sat on the bench before my ice time with a pair of earphones in, listening to my favorite playlist before getting on the ice.

I bit my lip. “Yeah. I know. But he’s having a great time up in Seattle.” And it didn’t hurt that he was going to college in the same city where he’d been drafted to play in the NHL. Though looking around here, I couldn’t imagine my life away from home. Yes, I’d applied there, but was that what I wanted?

Yes, I scolded myself. That’s what you want. Owen is what you want.

Quinlan, Penelope, Bianca and Avery were all gathered around the dessert table, and after thanking Brigitte again for coming to my party, I sauntered off towards them.

“Anyone seen Owen?” I asked, grabbing one of my Aunt Noelle’s brownies—she’d made them for me by request—and taking a bite.

“Right here,” his voice called out, deep and soothing against my ear. It was strange to think that it had gotten deeper in our year apart, but I was pretty sure it had. Even with endless calls and FaceTime sessions, nothing beat this, having him in person.

He took the rest of the brownie from my hand and ate it.

I laughed. “That was mine.”

Owen licked his lips. “It was good.”

“Your mom has always made the best ones. ”

He chuckled. “One of the things I missed the most this school year.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked. “What was the other one?”

Leaning in close, his breath warmed my face, and I could smell him—like forests and ice and all man. “You.”

Stepping up on my tiptoes, I pressed my lips against his cheek. “I missed you too, Hockey Boy.”

“And that’s our cue,” Quinlan muttered to the rest of my cousins.

I giggled as Owen wrapped his arms around my waist.

“They don’t want to see us make out, Birthday Girl,” he whispered against my ear.

“Mmm.” I hummed. “Maybe we should find somewhere more private.” I trailed my fingers up his chest. He was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

He wiggled his eyebrows. “Treehouse?”

A laugh burst out of me. Sure, we’d made out in the treehouse more than a few times, but now ? “Everyone’s in the backyard, Owen.” My cheeks felt warm as I dipped my head down, trying to hide my face from his view.

His lips pressed against my bare shoulder. “Not everyone…”

I groaned. “You’re killing me.”

Spinning around, I leaned against Owen’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me, swaying the two of us slowly. It was getting late, and the sun was finally setting, the sky painted in cotton candy streaks. It was beautiful.

“Are you excited about college, Daisy?” he asked, holding me tight.

My heart leapt. “Yes. Just have to get through my senior year, and then I’m all yours.” Even if I was nervous about uprooting my entire life, I would never be nervous about him. We were solid. I loved him more every day.

He hummed. “I like the sound of that. You and me, just the two of us…” His lips brushed over my ear. “Just the way I want you.”

“ Owen .” My voice came out breathy, even to the sound of my own ears. It was crazy how just being around him made me want to straddle him. But we had no privacy here, and I knew it. So, as much as I wanted to lose my virginity to him, as ready as I was, we were waiting. Luckily, making out and dry-humping weren’t off the table, assuming we were alone. Which, like I’d pointed out, we were not.

“I know,” he murmured, squeezing my hip.

But God, I wanted that. To live with him. To fall asleep in his arms and wake up next to him. The future was so far away, even if it felt like it was right there. Within reach, yet out of my grasp.

For now. I turned, wrapping my arms around his waist. He kissed me softly, leaning our foreheads together.

“One day, Ellie Bradford, you’re going to be all mine. You can count on that.”

But that was the thing—I already was.

If only I had known that in a few months, everything would change. That being his—really, truly his—would come at a cost.

One I knew I couldn’t let him pay.