Page 11

TEN

Ellie

NOW

M y car was loaded, and I was overly aware of the fact that I’d packed my entire life into the back of my little SUV, getting ready to drive to a new city where I knew absolutely no one.

Well, except the one person who didn’t even know I was moving.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Abigail asked, wrapping her arms around me and hugging me tight.

I nodded into her hold. “I’ll be fine, Abs. I need to do this.”

In a turn of events that felt almost too good to be true, one of my mom’s dance friends had told her about an opening at an elementary school in Bellevue, and a month later, I was getting ready to move.

Turns out my mom was right. What I really needed, more than anything else, was a kick in the pants. Not to wallow in self pity on the couch. I’d done enough hiding over the last five years.

No more.

Seventeen-year-old me might have walked away from what Owen and I had, but twenty-two-year-old me sure as hell wouldn’t.

Now, I had a job. I had an apartment. And, as a flutter in my abdomen reminded me, I had a reason to see him again. Even if he didn’t know it yet.

“Text me if you need anything,” she made me promise. “You know I’ll be on my way to you faster than you can blink.” That was my big sister for you—fiercely protective and one of the most loyal people I knew. Though I supposed that also came with the eldest sister territory,

“I love you,” I murmured, not wanting to let go of her yet.

“You better hurry before Mom comes out here and starts crying all over again,” Abigail said, squeezing me tight before pulling away. “You know how she gets.”

“Yeah.” I sniffled. I really did. Mom was a huge crier. She couldn’t help it, but if I went back inside, I’d probably end up staying for another hour. “I’ll see you soon,” I promised. I was already planning on coming back down for Christmas. It was only a three-hour drive without stopping, which wasn’t so bad.

“Drive safe.” She stepped back onto the porch, watching as I opened the door and climbed into my car.

I was surprised my dad hadn’t insisted on driving me up himself to help me move in. I’d found a furnished apartment to rent, so thankfully I didn’t have to buy furniture for now.

All that was left was to drive .

One week later…

I’d never been to the Seals Arena before, though there was a first time for everything. I hadn’t seen Owen since the night of my graduation party, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel seeing him on the ice.

Was coming here tonight a mistake? I hadn’t even been planning on coming until I got an advertisement for the game, and less than twenty minutes later, I’d purchased a ticket. Luckily, since it was pre-season, it hadn’t cost me an arm and a leg.

I was content just to see him from afar.

Was he even playing tonight? I had no idea how all of that worked.

Now, standing in the one hundred level, I suddenly couldn’t believe I was here. Part of me wanted to scurry back to my seat. I tugged on the sleeve of my turtleneck. Years ago, there was nowhere I felt more at home than at the rink. The smell of the ice, the slight chill to the air—all of it was second nature.

A wave of panic wove through me. Was I making the right decision? What was I even doing here? I turned to head back up the stairs, but something stopped me. Movement .

The guys were coming out onto the ice, the guy at the front knocking down several dozen pucks across the ice as they each stepped off, peeling out into a circular lap.

Warm-ups had always been my favorite part of hockey games. Maybe it was the figure skater in me, but I loved seeing the guys gliding across the ice, skating backwards and showing off their fancy footwork.

And don’t even get me started on watching them stretch.

I didn’t have to see the number on his sleeve or the name on his back to recognize Owen. My body was so finely tuned to his, and I’d watched so many games of his over the years that I knew the way his body moved.

The worst part was knowing how his body moved over mine. Maybe if we hadn’t had that night together, it would be easier. Because now, all I could think about was his face as he’d driven inside of me. The way he’d sounded when he came. How tenderly he’d held me. The way he’d called me Ellie baby .

That was new. I was trying not to look too deeply into it, because I liked it too much.

A little whimper slipped free from my lips, and the woman next to me against the boards looked over at me with concern. “You okay, dear?”

I nodded. “Yeah.” Swallowing, I turned my attention back to the ice. Owen was on the other side, and I was pretty sure he hadn’t seen me yet, which was fine. I was happy just watching him.

A kid next to us banged on the glass as some players passed, and then— oh . He was skating over here, skidding to a stop right before the boards.

The rest of the noise from all the surrounding fans faded away, and it was just the boy I’d loved, staring back at me with those wide, deep brown eyes.

“Ellie?” I could see his lips move, but thanks to the warm-up playlist, I couldn’t hear him.

“Hi,” I said back, reaching my hand out and placing it against the glass.

Owen blinked at me. Like he couldn’t believe I was here. If it wasn’t for the thick slab of plexiglass between us, we’d be only a few inches apart. “You’re here,” he mouthed, his face lighting up in a beautiful smile.

I nodded. What else was there to say?

He looked around, and then shook his head, holding up a gloved hand. Like he was telling me to wait.

I frowned. The entire interaction was brief, but when he spun, heading back down the ice, I found the people surrounding me gaping at me. Even the nice older woman who’d checked on me.

“You know him?” The boy asked, looking shocked. I assumed he was around twelve, and he was wearing a blue home Seals jersey with a C on the chest.

I smiled at him, brushing my sweaty palms down my jeans as I watched Owen from the corner of my eye. He skated back to the bench, talking to one of the staff and pointing towards me. “Yeah, I do.”

“ Wooow ,” he said, clearly impressed. His eyes were wide. “That’s so cool. Do you think you can get me a puck?”

I laughed. “I can try, bud. What’s your name?” I resisted reaching out and messing with his hair. He wasn’t my student, even if it was so easy for me to slip into that role.

“Brady.” He turned around, waving to who I assumed were his parents behind him. “We’re sitting there,” he offered, pointing at the seats only a few rows behind us.

I wasn’t even sitting in this section, so I gave him a smile. “Very nice. Do you come to games often?”

He nodded. “We’re huge fans. I play, too.”

“This is my first game,” I admitted, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Miss?” I turned around, putting my back to the ice at the sound of the voice. One of the staff members wearing a polo from the arena was standing there, looking directly at me. “Are you Ellie Bradford?”

“Y-yeah,” I said, clearing my throat. “That’s me.”

“Can you come with me?” The man asked. “I’ve been informed your seat has been upgraded.”

My mouth dropped open. What did Owen do? “It was?”

He nodded, and I turned to Brady, who was more enthralled watching this than warm-ups. Which was probably fair, considering how many of the players tonight were likely rookies or players who wouldn’t make the actual team. “Have fun tonight, Brady.”

I followed the staff member up the stairs, feeling like a child being taken to the principal’s office. Looking back down at the ice, I quickly caught sight of Owen doing maneuvers with a puck. He looked up and smiled at me. Somehow, for a moment, everything felt like it was going to be okay. Even if I knew it wouldn’t stay that way.

The man escorting me ushered me down a different entrance, and each step down the stairs took me closer towards the ice. I should have guessed that Owen would pull strings like this.

“Your seat, miss. Mr. Harper has arranged for everything.” He waved his hand, like he wasn’t pointing at a seat directly behind the player’s bench. Like this wasn’t a rink-side seat that must have cost a ton of money, even if this was the pre-season.

“I can’t possibly?—”

He shook his head, giving me a nervous smile. “It’s already been done. Enjoy the game.” And then he scurried back up the stairs, like he was afraid I was going to say no.

“Damn him,” I muttered, standing in front of my chair so I could watch the last few minutes before the guys went back to the locker room. Every time Owen skated by the bench—or bounced a puck off his stick—his eyes met mine. I knew he was showing off for me.

My head was spinning. I’d come here tonight expecting to sit up in the three hundred level, but I hadn’t been able to resist watching the warm-ups near the ice. I hadn’t expected this, though. It was a struggle to remember he wasn’t mine when he did things like this.

He looked so… excited to see me. And I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Because he’d left . Though part of me knew that if we’d woken up, wrapped around each other in my bed, neither one of us would have been able to leave. We wouldn’t have been able to keep it to one night.

Here I was, months later, doing something I’d never thought possible. I would have done anything for him. And maybe that was the problem. Before, he’d been willing to do anything for me. Watching him on the ice, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would be a distraction for him, even now. His career was the most important thing. I knew how happy he was on the ice.

And god, the way he looked out there should have been illegal. His wrists were exposed between his gloves and the bottom of his sleeves, and something about that was even hotter than it should have been. My panties were damp, and I definitely should not have been turned on at my ex-boyfriend’s hockey game, but here we were.

Maybe I hadn’t thought out moving here fully, but it felt right. So far, I loved my new school. I had my own classroom, teaching fourth grade, and had already made a friend. Maggie, whose classroom was next to mine, was only a few years older than me and was also single. We hit it off immediately, though I didn’t tell her about Owen or what had prompted me to move from Portland to Seattle.

That felt too personal. So was tonight, which was why I hadn’t invited her along. I needed to do this alone.

Seeing Owen again, well… maybe after the game, we could talk. I could tell him how I felt. That I wanted to try again. That this distance between us was killing me.

That I never should have walked away from him five years ago, but I’d had to. It had almost killed me, but I’d survived.

I reminded myself that I would survive again, even if he’d said no.

Even if I had to accept that he would never be mine again, I’d find a way to move on. To pick up the little pieces of myself again.

I had to, for both of our sakes.