Page 5

FOUR

Ellie

NOW

H ours after my graduation party had ended, I sat outside in the old treehouse with a pile of snacks I’d smuggled up. My parents had built it when I was a kid, and I still loved it.

I’d told Penelope that I was going to go back to our apartment tonight, and I meant it, but right now, I was enjoying my last night where I didn’t have to think about being an adult or getting a job. About the fact that soon, I’d be living with my parents again. At least I wouldn’t have to pay rent.

It felt like I had blinked, and my time in college was over. Looking back, it felt like it was last fall that I’d been moving into my dorm for the first time.

“Damn,” I muttered, looking down at my pile. “Maybe I should have brought some wine.” I’d had more than a few glasses throughout of the evening, a lot of them to distract from the fact that I’d practically flung myself into Owen’s arms when he’d shown up outside my house. And then we’d spent the entire night less than five feet apart, and I could almost convince myself I’d hallucinated it. But no.

He was here.

I leaned my back against the wall, looking at the structure fondly. I had so many amazing memories here. It was where Owen had asked me to prom. Where we’d shared our feelings over summer breaks. How many kisses had we shared in this very spot?

Over the years, as I’d gotten older, I’d stopped spending as much time up here, but it was no less special. Still, being up here made me a little heartsick.

“Ellie?” a deep voice called. The voice I would know anywhere. Was it even deeper now? Maybe. Even after all this time, it was a balm to my heart.

I poked my head out, looking down to find him standing in the middle of the yard, looking just as handsome as he had earlier. Maybe even more so, with his hair mussed like he’d been running his hands through it over and over, and an extra button undone on his shirt. Though maybe that was the alcohol talking.

Owen. My Owen . Only he wasn’t mine anymore, and he hadn’t been in a long time. He went out with models now. I’d seen photos of him up in Seattle, with different women on his arm for hockey events. It had hurt like hell every time, but I’d tried to ignore it. It shouldn’t bother me. I was the one who’d ended it.

“Owen.” My breath caught. “What are you doing here?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Thought maybe we should talk.”

“What is there to talk about?” I bit my lip.

“What isn’t there, Ellie?” He shook his head. “It’s been four years.” Almost five. Did he think I didn’t know that? I didn’t respond, and he moved to the ladder, climbing up quickly.

Drawing my legs up to my chest, I stared at him as he settled onto the floor across from me, not saying anything.

This space seemed even smaller with him in it. Maybe it was all the years of professional hockey, but he was much bigger now. All six-foot-three of him, with those broad shoulders and thighs that didn’t quit. If I let myself, it would be so easy to salivate over this man. His eyes were the same warm brown, and his hair the shade of dirty blond that it had been since I was little. I’d expected it to get darker, but it hadn’t.

“Four years,” he repeated, running his hands through his hair. “We went from being each other’s everything to this , and you’re asking me what we have to talk about?”

I shrugged, feeling hopeless. “I don’t know what you want from me, Owen. We never would have worked in the long run. You were always destined for greater things. And look at you now. You’re living your dream. Playing in the NHL. You got everything you’ve always wanted.”

“But did you?” He looked… wrecked . But that couldn’t be right.

Did I? I looked down at my bare feet to my freshly painted nails. I’d kicked off the fancy sandals I’d changed into for my party before climbing up here, though I was still wearing my light blue dress. I didn’t know how to answer that, so I didn’t.

“So, elementary education, huh?” He asked, changing the subject.

Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I nodded. “I always liked kids, you know? And after everything, I just…” I closed my eyes. I didn’t enjoy thinking about the time after my accident. When everything had fallen apart around me and I’d had to rearrange my entire life my senior year of high school. “It made sense. And I love it.”

“You didn’t tell me.” Now, there was an edge of hurt to his voice. Owen sounded… defeated .

I blinked. “What?”

“You got hurt. The accident.” He gritted his teeth. “You—you didn’t tell me you were hurt. I had to find out about it from my mom. Do you know what that did to me, El? Knowing you were hurt and I couldn’t even comfort you? Knowing that I was away at college and couldn’t come and make sure you were okay?” He shut his eyes .

“We were broken up,” I whispered. “I ended it. I didn’t think?—”

“Of course you didn’t think.” His thumb reached out, swiping over my cheekbone before tracing that same line down my ear. “Because you didn’t ask.”

“Owen, I?—”

He shook his head. “Why do you think I stayed away all these years, Ellie?”

“Because you hated me,” I murmured, avoiding his eyes. “Because I broke your heart.”

His voice was soft when he cupped my chin, tilting up my head till my gaze met his, and said, “Ellie baby, I never hated you.”

My eyes fluttered shut. How was I going to survive this? Survive him ? It had taken me so long to move on. To stop feeling like my heart was missing from my chest. To find happiness again in the little things.

“You should have,” I said, miserably. He should have hated me for the things I did. For the way I left.

“It would have been easier if I did,” Owen agreed.

Now it was my turn to shake my head. “It doesn’t matter now.” The whispered words were all I could offer him. “It’s in the past. We’re in the past.”

It was what I’d had to tell myself to keep going all these years. That the moments we’d shared—no matter how good—were in the past now. Though this didn’t feel like anything had passed. Not when he was holding my face so reverently, his mouth only inches from mine.

And the worst was knowing what those lips felt like against mine. It had been so long since I’d been kissed by him, and all I could think about now was I wanted him to.

His eyes dipped down to my lips, and I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. How easy it would be to fall back into what we’d been before. How much we both wanted it.

I reached up a hand and ran my fingers through his hair. It was longer than it had been when we were together, though that shouldn’t have been surprising.

“What if—” I started, at the same time he opened his mouth.

“We should?—”

Pulling back, I motioned for him to go first.

“We shouldn’t.”

I frowned, starting to pull away. The rejection stung. “Oh. But…”

“We shouldn’t, but damn if I don’t want you.” Owen’s hand wrapped around the back of my neck, dragging us closer together. If I moved even a hair, my lips would be on his.

“I know,” I murmured, trying to resist the pull. The urge. There was a magnetism between us, pulling us together. That was how it had been our whole lives. The only reason we’d been able to stay apart for this long was avoiding each other. It was a cruel fate to have each other, to want each other, but not be able to keep each other.

“What if we just have tonight? One night,” I promised. “You’re going back to Seattle, anyway.” And then he’d be gone, back to his life of hockey and models, and I’d be here.

“One night,” he agreed.

And then his lips were on mine.

Everything else melted away.

Because Owen Harper kissing me was better than anything else.

The kiss was soft at first, a gentle press of his lips against mine, like he was re-acquainting himself with my mouth. His palm was warm against the back of my neck, and I slipped mine around his as I shifted my position, climbing onto his lap. The first stroke of his tongue against my lips, encouraging me to open for him, and I melted, kissing him back with just as much fervor. I needed more. Rocking my hips against his, I moaned when my core pressed against his length through his jeans.

It brought back memories I tried not to think about unless I was alone in the dark. He was big back then, too, and right now, I wanted to feel him everywhere.

“Fuck ,” he groaned, as I rubbed myself against his erection. “Baby, you have to stop.”

I whimpered. “Why?” It wouldn’t take much for me to come. Not like this.

“Because I’m not fucking you in this treehouse, Ellie. Not when anyone could come outside and hear us.”

Oh . I supposed that made sense. “Right.” I ran my tongue over my lower lip. “Then where…”

“You said you were spending tonight at your apartment, right? Alone ?” Owen quirked an eyebrow.

“Yes,” I said in a rush. There would be no chance of interruption. Penelope was spending tonight at with her parents. That was where I’d expected Owen to stay, too. But I liked the idea of him staying with me.

Closure . It was all that we could offer each other, but I would take it.

“Let’s go, Hockey Boy.”

His eyes were dark, full of heat. He pressed his lips against mine once more before standing up, taking me with him.

“Wait,” I murmured, before he could angle us towards the stairs. “The snacks.”

Owen laughed, and the sound was a balm to my aching heart.

An hour later, Owen’s car was parked in front of the apartment I’d rented with Penny near campus. After a quick stop at the store, there was a bag in the back, and it had been hard just to keep our hands off of each other long enough to make the drive here.

“Are you sure?” he asked, resting his forehead against mine. Neither one of us had moved to get out of the car, and I knew the second we did, everything would change.

But I wanted his mouth on mine. Wanted his weight over my body, surrounded by his warmth. Wanted to feel him inside of me one last time. If this was all of him I got, I wanted to savor it. Part of me knew I’d remember this for a long time.

“Yes, Owen. I want you.”

Would anyone else compare to the man by my side? Whose smiles lit up my world in a way I’d never been able to explain? I couldn’t even remember when my crush on him had begun. Only that when I’d started high school, our relationship had changed. He’d become as much of my best friend as Penny was. And then we were dating, and everything had been… perfect. Until it wasn’t .

He pressed his lips to my forehead and then climbed out of his car without preamble. Part of me missed his old truck, though the blue sports car he drove now clearly showed how well the Seattle Seals were paying him to play on the team.

Owen came around to my side, opening my door and unbuckling my seatbelt for me when I made no move to do it myself. He held out a hand, and I slid mine into it, letting him pull me out of the car. The door shut, and I rested my back against the cool exterior as he traced a finger around my jawline.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his free hand resting on the roof of his car. “I can hardly stand it.”

Dipping his head down, he kissed me until I was panting underneath him. Needy and hopelessly wet, and all I wanted was him .

“Upstairs,” I begged.

Owen opened the backseat, grabbed the bag of condoms, and then interlaced our fingers as I guided him into my apartment.

I’d promised him one night only, but somehow I knew that with every step, there was no going back from this. That I could say whatever I wanted, but I knew the truth.

One last night would never be enough. Not with him. And not for us.