Page 25

TWENTY-TWO

Owen

NOW

S omething about the look in Ellie’s eyes as she stepped onto the ice didn’t sit right with me. I knew I had missed a lot. But it was clear, looking at her now, that I had no idea just how much. So I did the only thing I could think of to get her mind off of it—taunted her. Challenged her. When we were younger, we’d raced across the ice countless times.

So, I held her hand and watched her as we took a lap around the ice.

I’m sorry. Fuck, she had no idea what she did to me.

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Ellie. I… I wasn’t there. I should have been there.”

She shook her head. “No. I do. I didn’t let you be there for me, Owen. And that’s on me.”

But I could have fought for her. I should have fought for her. I’d let her go, and I was the one who hadn’t been around. Avoiding being home clearly hadn’t done me any favors. But she was here now.

She’d come to find me.

And it was my turn to be there for her. As her friend, I was going to help her through whatever she was struggling with.

I squeezed her hand. “It’s in the past now, though. Now you have me. Okay? I’m here.”

Her eyes met mine, and it would have been impossible to miss the moisture in them.

Tugging her hand, I spun her into my arms, wrapping her up in a hug.

Damn, I was glad I’d rented out the iceplex for the day. The fact that no one was going to walk in on our moment, to interrupt this, was worth how much money I’d donated.

“Okay.” She let go of my hand, skating away from me, and I was transfixed. I’d always been whenever she was on the ice. She was still graceful as she skated—there was no amount of time that could take that from her—but she was hesitant. Reserved now, in a way she’d never been before.

Still, she’d done the hard part. She’d gotten out here. I was damn proud of her. She was so brave. Moving to Seattle, alone? She said it was for the job, but I suspected that was only part of it. But if I thought too much about that, I’d start wanting things I couldn’t have.

But how could I hold myself back? It was so hard to keep denying the truth: I wanted her. So much. One last night hadn’t been enough to temper my desire for her. It would never be enough with her.

I wanted more .

Leaning against the wall, I watched as she took another lap around the ice all by herself. That’s my girl.

Her cheeks were pink, but her lips had curled up into the smallest of smiles as she closed her eyes, like she was feeling the breeze flowing past her, the ice underneath her blades. Beautiful . She was always stunning, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her now.

When she finally came to a stop in front of me, I couldn’t stop grinning.

Ellie smiled. “Thank you. I… I needed that. ”

“Anything,” I promised. “Anything you need, El. I’m always here.”

I meant it.

Hours later, we were riding the elevator back up to my apartment. After leaving the rink, we grabbed burgers and fries from my favorite spot in Seattle. I was grateful that we didn’t have a game tonight, and that I’d been able to spend the day with her.

It felt like old times, except… better , somehow. Maybe it was because we were older. Or maybe it was just because I knew what life was like without her.

“Today was honestly the most fun I’ve had in a long time,” Ellie said, stretching her hands over her head.

Her earlier apprehension and anxiety seemed to be gone, which I was grateful for. “I’m glad.” I grinned. “We should do this again.”

She snorted. “Sure. With your schedule, you’ll have plenty of time.” Ellie rolled her eyes, and I stepped in closer, cupping her cheek with my hand.

“For you? Of course I will. I’ll always make time for you.” Our faces were a few inches apart, and it would be so easy to kiss her. God, I wanted to. Those soft, lush pink lips were calling my name.

Her tongue darted out, moistening her lips. Did she want this the way I did?

She gave a sharp exhale of breath as her eyes darted from mine down to my mouth, and I leaned in, a breath apart, when— ding.

The elevator doors opened.

Goddamn .

Ellie’s cheeks were pink as she slid out from between me and the wall, and she said nothing as she unlocked the apartment.

“Ellie—” I started, wanting to talk about what just happened. That we’d almost kissed. The fact that I still wanted to kiss her.

She rushed towards her bedroom. Strange that in less than two weeks, it already felt like hers. “I’m gonna catch up on some work. I’ll… Thank you again for today.” Her door clicked shut, and I groaned.

“Fuck,” I groaned as I headed back to my room. Alone, like always. Frustrated and aching because the one thing I wanted was the one thing I shouldn’t.

It was getting harder to hold myself back around her, especially when the only company I’d had for the last few months was my own hand. Hell, the last few years.

Why was I holding back and resisting this, when I knew damn well she was the only woman I’d ever wanted? The only one I’d ever loved.

Was it really so simple as just… telling her what I wanted? Thinking about her small smiles today, the way she’d been so hesitant until she finally got comfortable on the ice, I let my thoughts wander. What if we tried again?

But I knew how dangerous hope was.

How devastated I’d been when she left the last time.

Why did it always feel like one step forward and two steps back with us? When all I wanted was her?

I should have kissed her. I’d known it as soon as the moment passed. When we were younger, I would have done it without thinking. But then again, years ago, everything had felt so easy between us. Nothing felt easy now. Not since she’d walked out on me.

Even though I was a fucking asshole who had done the same thing to her. I hadn’t been around to see the hurt on her face when she’d woken up alone. No, I’d left a note like a coward. And then I’d hightailed it out of town, even though I had time off of hockey and didn’t need to be back in Seattle for weeks. I should have stayed with my family.

But I’d known that seeing that look on her face would kill me.

And today, I knew nothing had changed. That I still wanted her just as fiercely as I had months ago, and now with her in my space, everything was worse.

Maybe I needed these road trips for some space. To remind myself why I couldn’t have her. She didn’t want this life. She’d made that clear when she’d ended it.

Seals Singles

Owen

I have a problem.

Reid

Ah, there it is.

Mav

I’ve been waiting for this. Lay it on us.

Owen

I want more.

Brooks

I’m not hearing the problem, my dude.

Owen

The problem is, we agreed to be friends. Sleeping together would complicate things. And you know our schedule.

Reid

Plenty of guys are in relationships and play in the NHL, Harps. Nothing is stopping you.

Rhodes

Why the fuck am I here?

*Rhodes left the chat.*

*Mav added Rhodes to the chat.*

Mav

Solidarity, man. We’re helping Harper through his problems.

Owen

I can’t wait till the day comes when you have a woman in your life and you have to eat your words.

Mav

Nope. Never going to happen.

Brooks

So, why don’t you just ask her out, dumbass?

Owen

Are we all just ignoring the fact that we’re leaving for a road trip soon? Not exactly an ideal time here.

When would it ever be? That question bounced around my head. And fuck, but it sucked that it was true. How could I possibly give her the life she deserved when my entire life was hockey? I was damn good at it, and I loved it, but was that enough?

At one time, I knew what my answer would have been. No. It wasn’t enough. Not without her.

Owen

Besides, she doesn’t want me like that.

Reid

How do you know? Did you ask the lass?

Dropping my phone on the bed, I rubbed at my temples. Did I ask Ellie? I let out a snort. No . I didn’t need to. She was the one who insisted that we couldn’t sleep together.

Though, that was before.

Before I’d seen her walk around my apartment in those tiny sleep shorts. Before I’d woken up each morning to find her in my kitchen, eating breakfast in her adorable teacher outfits. Before I’d started getting up even earlier so I could make her fresh coffee so I could have just a few minutes more with her each day. Before I’d bought her new ice skates and taken her to the rink because she told me she hadn’t skated since her accident.

And fuck if I didn’t know what to do with all of that.

Deciding I wouldn’t make any good decisions this evening, I shed my clothes on my bedroom floor, heading towards my large shower. I turned on the water, letting the cold spray wash over me. It was the shock to my system I needed to clear my head.

Except thoughts of Ellie crept in, and there was no denying myself. Not when I’d been half-hard all day, and just the thought of her smile had my cock weeping. Yes, I wanted that. Wanted her. I imagined what it would be like if she was in the shower with me now, her lips wrapped around my length as she sucked me down. Wrapping my hand around my shaft, I braced my other hand against the wall.

“Fuuuck.” The vision was too good to hold back. Especially when she ran her fingers over her clit, touching herself as I slid in and out of her warm, wet mouth. I couldn’t help but think about the way she’d felt wrapped around me, the little noises she’d made when I made her come.

“Ellie,” I groaned, shutting my eyes as I fucked my fist harder. Goddamn, I was only seconds from exploding. I needed release, and badly. This was wrong—thinking about my ex, my roommate, my friend— like this, but I couldn’t stop myself. Not when it felt so damn good. She was everywhere, invading my senses. When I came home from practice, she was on my couch. Her scent lingered everywhere, flowery and intoxicating, and I wanted to bury my face in it.

So close, and?—

“ Oh .” A squeak came from outside the shower, and my head whipped up, my hand still fisting my cock. My eyes connected with a pair of blue-gray ones.

Ellie. Fuck. Shit. I let out a grunt as I squeezed my dick.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, her eyes wide. “I just came to ask a question, and the door was open, and—” Her cheeks were bright red as she stayed in the same spot, watching me.

She watched me with rapt attention, her tongue darting out over her lips as I fought to keep my cock under control. Her eyes flared with heat, and?—

“ Ellie .” I let out another grunt, turning to face the wall so she couldn’t see the entire length of my body. “Please.” I didn’t know what I was asking for. Her to get out, or to come in?

Her face flamed even further. “Ohmygod. Right. Sorry. I’ll just—” She turned and hightailed it out of there, and I slammed my fist against the shower wall, pumping faster.

Something about her watching me, the way she looked so turned on herself, drove me to orgasm quickly.

And the only thought flashing through my mind was, I am so fucked.