Page 15

THIRTEEN

Ellie

NOW

I think we should try to be friends again. Like we were before.

Before we’d dated. Like he somehow expected me to erase all the moments we’d spent together. We’d been together for almost four years, even if we’d spent the last five with radio silence between the two of us.

God, I was so dumb. I’d moved here for him, and he wanted to be friends. But I couldn’t exactly run back to Portland with my tail between my legs now, crying about how my professional hockey playing ex-boyfriend wouldn’t take me back just because I’d moved to his city and gotten a job here.

This was about more than just him now, anyway. This was about finding myself and my identity outside my family. Sure, I’d still talk to my mom every day, and I didn’t foresee the group chat of my cousins getting any less active—or annoying—but I’d turned twenty-two this summer. It was time to figure out who I was. Seattle was as good of a place to do that as any. I’d make some friends, and Owen could be one of those. Maybe we’d find our way back to each other. I had to have faith that everything was going to work out the way it was supposed to.

“I can’t just pretend like we were never together,” I whispered. I’d spent so many hours with him when we were younger, we’d almost melded into one person. Everyone knew us as Ellie and Owen, like we were one unit. My friends were his friends, and his friends were my friends, and everything was great. I never had to sacrifice family time to spend time with my boyfriend, either, because our moms being best friends and all of us growing up on the same street meant we got to see each other all the time.

He grunted. “That’s not what I’m asking you to do, Ellie.” Owen seemed tormented, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen him like this before. He’d always been so easy-going. The guy with a huge grin on his face who was always cracking jokes and making me smile. The one who would hang around the rink after his practice to watch me skate, and then drive me home.

“Then what are you asking, Owen?” I picked up my drink, taking a long sip of the strong alcohol. I wasn’t a huge drinker, but my dad had gotten me started on drinking whiskey sours, and it felt like a tiny part of him was with me now.

His elbows rested on the table, and he placed his head in his hands. “We used to tell each other everything.”

“Yeah.” I remembered.

“Don’t you miss that?”

I blinked. “Of course I do. But we can’t just close our eyes and magically be back where we were half a decade ago. We barely even know each other anymore.”

Except I knew him intimately . Because a few months ago, I’d had him on top of me. And underneath me. And it was unfortunate that we hadn’t made it to the shower, because I was pretty sure that would have been even better. My cheeks heated at the thought of him pinning me against a tile wall, thrusting roughly into me as his lips captured a nipple.

I sucked in a breath. That was definitely not friend-like. And if Owen wanted to be friends, well…

“Okay. Let’s be friends, then.”

Owen flashed me a grin. One that felt like his normal, signature smile, but it lacked some of the usual warmth. He stuck his hand out across the table, like he wanted me to shake his. “Friends,” he said.

“Friends.”

With a little dip of his head, he drained the rest of the beer in his glass. I followed suit with mine, trying to ignore the awkward tension between us. It had never been weird between us before, and I hated it.

There were so many things I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t make my mouth work. They were all too intimate, too personal. Things a friend wouldn’t ask. He was my first love, but now we were basically strangers.

“So, do you guys come here often?” I watched out of the corner of my eye as players I recognized from the game flirted with some girls at the bar.

He nodded. “It might seem strange, but people don’t really bother us here. They know we come here often after the games, so usually we just get to hang out. It’s refreshing. Like I can pretend I’m not some famous athlete with a handful of endorsements and a contract worth more money than I will ever know what to do with.”

“That doesn’t seem strange at all. It’s like your safe space.” We had those, too, when we were younger.

Owen looked down at his empty glass. “Yeah. Exactly.”

Two giant brunette hockey players—I assumed, because they both had to be over six feet fall and had that look —stood over us. I blinked, almost seeing double. I was pretty sure they were the Hendrix brothers, but I didn’t pay attention to most of the guys on Owen’s team like I did to him.

“Um, hi?” I asked, sucking more of my drink up my straw.

“Hey.” One of the two grinned at me, showing off a set of pearly white teeth. He didn’t appear to be missing any, which surprised me, considering the track record of most hockey players. “We had to come over and check out Owen’s girl. ”

“Oh.” I blushed. “I’m not?—”

The two of them slid in next to us. So much for our moment alone.

“This is Ellie,” Owen said. “We grew up together. Our moms are best friends.”

“So you got to see this one in his peewee days, eh?” The guy sitting next to Owen elbowed him. “Where are my manners? I’m Brooks. Harps here is my D-man partner.”

“Maverick,” his brother added, grinning like a fool. “Also known as the better looking Hendrix brother.”

I squinted. They had similar facial shapes and coloring, though I didn’t particularly find either of them more attractive. Probably because the man I found most attractive was sitting across from me.

“You’re on the first line, aren’t you?” I asked the man sitting next to me.

“Sure am.” Maverick puffed out his chest. “Did you see the goal I scored tonight?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I did.” I’d mostly been watching Owen, who had gotten the assist for the goal. He’d kissed his forearm after his teammate had scored, and I wondered when that tradition had started. He’d never done that when we were younger.

“So tell us about little Owen,” Brooks encouraged me. “We want to hear more about this guy when he was younger.”

“We used to spend a lot of time at the rink together,” Owen said, his gaze holding mine. Did he not want them to know we’d dated? Was he… embarrassed by me? “Ellie was a figure skater.”

“Oh, you skate too, blondie? We’ll have to get you on the ice sometime with us.”

I dipped my head. “Well, I did. I haven’t stepped foot on the ice in a long time.”

Owen frowned. “You don’t…” Did he not realize that I stopped skating after my accident?

“No. ”

We both stared at each other, and I looked away. Both of the Hendrix brothers were looking between us, and I didn’t know what else to say.

I cleared my throat. “Well, he was always an incredible player. There’s a reason he made it this far, right?”

Owen shrugged. “I was alright.”

“Alright? God, Owen, you were…” I closed my eyes, picturing him back in high school. It was a different league with different rules, but he’d been captivating on the ice, even back then. “Incredible.”

“I like her,” Maverick said to my ex.

Brooks was eyeing me, and I fidgeted with my empty glass. “Anyway. We had good times.”

Owen gave me a hesitant smile. “We did.”

Maverick turned to me. “So, are you sticking around here for a while, Ellie? Think you’ll come to the home opener?”

I shrugged. “Maybe? I don’t know. Since I just moved here, I don’t know my schedule yet. It sounds fun, though. As long as I don’t have school the next day.”

“School?” Brooks asked.

“She’s an elementary school teacher,” Owen said, his voice filled with what I could only assume was pride. “El just graduated college this summer.”

“Oh, so it was your graduation too, eh?” Brooks cocked his head to the side, a bit of a Canadian accent coming out. “Owen told us he went home for a graduation party.”

“My sister and Ellie graduated from the same university,” he said. “Of course, I was there.” Was it just me, or did he sound a little defensive ? Which didn’t make sense, unless he’d told them about me. But then again, he hadn’t told them we’d dated, either.

“You were late, though,” I teased him. That seemed safe.

Owen’s ears and cheeks turned pink, and he looked down at his empty cup. “I need another drink if everyone’s going to team up on me,” he muttered .

I giggled as Brooks and Maverick stood up.

“On me, man,” Maverick said. “Ellie, could we get you another drink?”

“Oh, no,” I said, shaking my head. “I have to drive home soon, anyway.”

“You’re not gonna stay and hang out?”

It was a Friday night, but I still had so much to catch up with settling into a new school, and I planned to use the weekend to work ahead. Still, it was good to see Owen. And I enjoyed seeing him in this space, a whole different side of the man I used to love. His teammates teased him in a way that felt so similar to the way my cousins and I teased each other.

“Maybe one more. It’s a whiskey sour.”

Maverick winked at me, and then the two disappeared back to the bar.

Owen ran his fingers through his hair.

“They seem great.” I watched them mess with each other, standing on either side of a barstool of who I assumed was another member of the team. Even sitting down, I could tell the guy was tall. A little older, with a short beard and darker brown hair. He was frowning and definitely looked grumpy as the Hendrix brothers bothered him. “It must be fun for them to be on the same NHL team.”

“Yeah, I imagine it is.” Owen looked over at them, a wistful look on his face. “When Maverick got traded to the team two years ago, Brooks had been overjoyed.”

“This is weird, isn’t it?” I scrunched up my nose.

He chuckled. “A little. But we just need to re-learn each other, that’s all.” Maybe he was right. “Speaking of… Have you really not skated since your accident?” Owen asked, completely changing the subject. It was like the question had been pinging around in his mind ever since he’d brought it up.

I shook my head, swallowing roughly. “I—no.”

“Fuck, El.” He rubbed his forehead. “Why? ”

I raised one shoulder and then dropped it. I wasn’t ready to talk about why. Not when it had everything to do with him. And that wasn’t fair of me. It wasn’t his fault I’d messed up my routine during a competition and landed wrong during one of my jumps. Nor was it his fault that I’d given it all up afterwards. My heart just wasn’t in it anymore. It wasn’t about failing or getting hurt. Even after I’d healed, the ice symbolized everything I’d given up. I couldn’t tell him about the anxiety attacks when I tried to skate, either. And by the end, I’d already been second guessing my dream of competing in the Olympics.

“I meant what I said earlier, Ellie. I want us to be friends again. I want to know about everything I’ve missed.”

What did I even say to that? I bit my lip. “Me too, Owen.” He used to be my everything. I’d confided everything in him, and I missed having that. Moving here to chase after him might have been a crazy choice, but I wouldn’t give up on this opportunity. Even if it was just being friends, at least he’d be in my life.

That was more than I could say before.

I gave him a hesitant smile. “So, you’re still number eight, huh?”

He’d worn the number eight on his jersey for as long as I could remember, and I was glad it hadn’t changed in all these years.

Owen laughed. “Out of everything you could ask, that’s what you go with?”

“Why not? I’m curious.” He’d never told me why he picked the number originally.

He smirked. “Is your favorite color still yellow?”

It was my turn to smile. “No.”

His brows furrowed. “It’s not?”

“Guess people change,” I said, looking down at my lap. We both had, though the physical chemistry between us hadn’t disappeared. It was explosive when we’d come together in May. But that didn’t mean we could just pick up where we left off after all this time.

The Hendrix brothers came back to the table, finally leaving the stoic guy at the bar alone as they carried back another round of drinks for all of us.

Maybe it was strange to hang out with a bunch of pro hockey players, but being in a new city where the only person I knew was Owen—and my new teacher friend Maggie, plus the fourth graders I’d just started teaching—it felt good. Like things were going right, for once.

Just friends.

I could do that, right?