Page 23

TWENTY

Owen

NOW

W e won the game in overtime, 3-2, bagging our first official two points of the season against the Vancouver Warriors. I’d gotten my first assist of the season tonight, too, a pass to Maverick that he’d sunk in the net, and I was riding a high. Sure, I was exhausted—physically, at least—but I could never seem to fall asleep right away after a game.

“That was insane,” Ellie said, cheeks pink with excitement as I unlocked the door to the apartment hours later. “I can’t believe how crazy of a game that was. I was on the edge of my seat practically the entire time.”

“I’m glad you were there,” I said, stretching my arms out as I followed in behind her.

Had I played better tonight? Who knew. Though there was something contagious about her presence that had me all amped up. I’d already showered at the arena before heading out and finding Ellie, but I knew exactly where I was going to end up the moment we said goodnight. Which was wrong. I definitely shouldn’t fist my cock while thinking about my ex-girlfriend and current roommate .

But when I’d seen her there tonight, wearing that smile just for me?

Fuck. I was all twisted up inside. I knew exactly what the guys would say. My phone would blow up with texts any time now. The next time we all went out for beers at the Penalty Box, I was sure I wouldn’t hear the end of how I’d dropped everything and moved Ellie into my house. But how could I not?

I could use the excuse that she was like family. That our mothers had been best friends since college, and I still remembered peeking over the baby stroller at a tiny, sleeping Ellie and feeling like I needed to protect her. It was different than the way I’d protected my own sister, Penny, though I’d kept plenty of assholes from dating her when she was in school too. I just hadn’t understood my feelings until I was much older. Until one day I’d blinked, and I’d realized she’d grown up. We both had.

Still, somehow, I didn’t think that reasoning would fly with my teammates. Not when that was too close to the truth.

She yawned. “I should probably get to bed. I’m just glad tomorrow is Sunday and I have a day to sleep in before I have to teach a bunch of rowdy elementary schoolers again.”

“Probably.” I rubbed at my forehead. “I should turn in myself. Lord knows my sleep schedule is going to change drastically once our road trips start.”

Normally, I looked forward to them each year. Sometimes it felt like we were spending every night in a different city, flying to our next stop after each night’s game. It took everything in me to crawl into bed those trips before I passed out. When we played back-to-backs, especially multiple in a row, it was grueling.

Now, it would be grueling for a whole different reason.

“Oh.” Ellie blinked. “I guess I forgot that you’d be gone.”

Though I hated the sound of that. Her all alone in this big place? I knew how lonely it was. It was why I’d considered getting a dog all this time, though I hadn’t wanted to leave it alone multiple times during the season. Now, though… It was perfect. A way to make sure she wasn’t alone, even when I was on the road.

Filing it away for later, I focused on the woman in front of me, forcing out a laugh. “Yep. You’ll have the apartment all to yourself when I’m gone, Ellie baby.” The endearment slipped out before I could think better of it. Doing a great job of with being friends , Owen. I scolded myself. She set rules. Follow them.

“Yeah.” She gave me a small smile. “Don’t worry though, I won’t bring anyone home.”

A growl formed in my throat and I stepped closer to her.

“Owen.” Her voice was breathy. “I’m not going to?—”

Another step, and her back pressed up against the wall.

“No. You’re not. Because there won’t be anyone else. Not for either one of us.”

Ellie shook her head.

“Tell me.” I dipped my head, brushing my lips over her ear. “Tell me you’re not going to go out with anyone else while I’m gone.”

She bit her lip, her words coming out as a whisper. “I’m not going to go out with anyone else.”

“Good.” I nodded, and our eyes held for a moment. My gaze darted down to her mouth, and I watched as she ran her tongue across those soft, pink lips. It was impossible not to notice how she did the same.

I cleared my throat. “I should go to bed.”

“Right.” She let out a breath. “Me too.” Ellie slipped out, dashing towards her room.

Fuck. I rubbed my hand over my face as I headed into my bedroom.

What was I thinking? I had no right to control what she did. She wasn’t my girlfriend. We were just friends. But the idea of someone else taking her on a date made my blood boil. It made me want to fight, and I’d never considered myself to be an aggressive person.

But Ellie was mine. She always had been.

I flipped on the light, surveying my room. It was pretty basic, but it was enough for me. No one else had ever shared my bed, slept on my sheets. All this time, there had only ever been one girl for me.

The one who was sleeping a few doors down from me. The one who broke my heart.

The one I couldn’t have.

I wasn’t sure how much longer I could ignore the pull I felt to her. Especially when she looked at me like she wanted me to kiss her.

And damn, did I want to stop pretending that I didn’t want that too.

We played Calgary three nights later, and I came home to find Ellie asleep on the couch, the TV channel still turned on to the one that broadcast the game.

I liked her watching me, even when she wasn’t in the arena. Part of me wanted to insist that she come to every game, that she was always in the stands cheering for me, but I knew that was a lot to ask of her. Especially when she had to leave early each morning to teach.

Normally, on game days, I’d wake up right before morning skate and head there, but now, I got up early just to have breakfast with her. Otherwise, I’d hardly see her all day. She would come home from school, eat dinner, and then hole herself up in her room each night. I hated it, because there was this wall between us that hadn’t been there before.

Grabbing the remote off the coffee table, I turned the television off before scooping Ellie up into my arms, blanket and all, and carrying her into her room. She nuzzled her head against my chest, and damn, having her here was everything. Pulling back the comforter, I tucked her into bed, stepping back to watch her sleep. Was it creepy? Maybe.

Her eyes fluttered, and then they were blinking up at me. “Owen?”

“Hey, Skater Girl. You fell asleep on the couch.”

She looked like she was fighting to stay awake. “Oh.”

“Good night.” I leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Night,” she mumbled, curling up and letting her eyes drift shut again.

God, she was adorable.

Tomorrow, I’d have to get on a plane. At least this time, it was only one game, and then I’d be home. That wouldn’t last, though. Our first road trip of the season was looming in front of me, and I already didn’t know how I was going to be apart from her for almost a week at a time. No part of me wanted to leave, but this was the life I’d chosen. We had three games to play against the California teams, and unfortunately, our first back-to-back game of the season.

Curling a finger around a blonde strand of hair, I tucked it behind her ear. I didn’t know what was happening between us, but I knew I didn’t want things to go backwards. I wanted to do so many things with her. To take her skating again. To take her out to dinner the way she deserved. To care for her the way she deserved.

Things I fully planned to do… as soon as I was back.

“Good morning.” Ellie yawned as she reached for the coffee cup, standing up on her tiptoes. A tiny strip of bare skin showed between her tank and her pajama shorts, and I tried not to focus on it.

An impossible feat, but hey, I was trying.

“Morning,” I said, voice rough as I sipped on my cup of coffee.

“What time do you have to leave?” Her tone was casual as she poured coffee into a cup, grabbing a bottle of creamer from the fridge and adding it till her drink turned a light brown shade.

I looked at the clock. “Soon.” There was still time before I needed to head out, but not much. Not that it would stop me from getting in a few more moments with her. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, so you’ll only be alone tonight.”

She nodded. “It’ll be fine. I lived alone before, remember?”

I grumbled under my breath, not liking to think about her last apartment. “Have they given you any updates about that place?”

Ellie bit her lip. “No, but it sounds like it’ll be a few months before it’s ready, anyway. Besides, I was going to look for somewhere else to live. I can’t keep mooching off of you forever.”

“Sure you can. I don’t mind you living here. It’s nice that it’s not so quiet anymore.”

“Owen…”

“Stay, Ellie. Please.”

She sighed. “Okay. Just until it’s done.”

I grinned. “Good. Now that’s settled, I’m going to go shower and get ready.”

“You have to wear a suit, right?” Her eyes brightened.

“Yes,” I laughed. “Just like I have to for every home game.”

Humming, she took a sip of her coffee, walking back towards her room. “Say bye before you go. ”

“You just want to see me in my suit, don’t you?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe.” Ellie smirked, walking backwards. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that ass in tweed. Who knows, it might look completely different now?”

“Ellie,” I warned, my voice low. What were we doing right now? “Careful, or I’ll think you’re flirting with me.”

“And if I am?” She winked. “See ya later, Hockey Boy.” Ellie blew me a kiss. “You’re gonna kill it in Toronto, I just know it.” I liked her faith in the team. In me.

Chuckling, I headed back to my room, hopping in the shower and getting ready for the day. My overnight bag was already packed—though I didn’t need much, since it was a quick trip.

When I came out, Ellie was dressed in a pair of slacks, a brightly colored cardigan, and a white blouse. She had pulled her hair back into a low bun, and was humming to herself as she rummaged through the cabinets while eating a cup of blueberry yogurt. I knew it was her favorite, so I’d stocked up when I ordered groceries earlier this week.

I ran my hands through my hair as I watched her dance around the kitchen, clearly unaware I was watching her. She had a pair of earphones in, and was quietly singing along to her music as she packed a lunch.

This was why I didn’t want her to move out. In these moments, it felt like I could see the rest of our lives. The life we would have had together if she hadn’t walked out on us five years ago. If we hadn’t broken up then, would we have made it? Would our lives be completely different now? Sure, we were still so young, but I’d known back then that I wanted to marry her one day.

She was my friend again—though she’d always been that. My best friend, my first girlfriend, the only woman I’d ever loved. But she was also my roommate. My ex-girlfriend. The woman who’d broken my heart .

It had taken a long time for me to put the pieces back together. And considering how hard it had been to move on, how it had taken promises of one last night together for me to realize I needed to get over her, I’d never be able to repair my heart if it got broken again.

So, as much as I could see our life together, a part of me knew it wasn’t meant to be.

Not anymore.

Not if there was a chance she’d leave again.

Not when she could shatter my heart in a million pieces and leave me all over again.