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ONE

Ellie

NOW

T hey say you never forget your first love.

If only that wasn’t true. Especially considering we’d grown up on the same street. I couldn’t tell you when I fell in love with Owen Harper. It wasn’t one moment, one instant. It had been a slow, gradual thing, until I looked up one day and realized I loved him. He was my first everything—first love, first kiss, first… Well, you know. I never thought there would be any lasts . That I’d call him anything but mine. But that was the thing about first loves. They weren’t supposed to be forever.

Today was supposed to be happy. A monumental, joyous occasion. The end of an era . Putting my college years behind me.

That was why we were all here, celebrating. The ceremony was tomorrow afternoon, and then we’d go back to my house for a big grad party. My family took up two tables in the coffee shop, and for the first time in a long time, everyone was here.

Okay, almost everyone. There was one person missing, someone whose absence I felt deeply. I stared at the text I sent. The one that hadn’t received a response. Maybe it was wishful thinking that he’d reply. But he should have been here.

Ellie

Are you coming?

Sighing, I locked my phone and looked around at everyone.

The eight of us had grown up in this coffee shop. It was my Aunt Noelle’s—though we weren’t related by blood—and somewhere I’d visited at least once a week for years. All the people surrounding me were my cousins—some of them by blood or marriage, and some by choice, since our moms had been best friends since college. When we were little, our moms used to bring us here, and we’d play on the floor while they’d talk about books.

I tried not to explain my family tree in too much detail to people, since their eyes glazed over when I did. Aunt Angelina—my dad’s sister—was married to my Uncle Benjamin, and his brother was Hunter, who was married to Gabbi. That entire clan shared the last name of Sullivan. Then there were the Harpers, Matthew and Noelle, who might not have been related to me by blood, but I loved just the same. My parents, Charlotte and Daniel Bradford, rounded out the group. Between the four couples, there were nine of us kids, and they were some of my best friends and closest confidants.

“I can’t believe you two graduate tomorrow,” my older sister, Abigail, muttered. She ran her fingers through her dark, curled hair, separating the individual strands before smoothing down her pink tailored dress, one I knew she had designed. Abigail was twenty-five and thriving, running a successful fashion line. I’d always looked up to my older sister, probably because she’d always had everything together.

My cousin Zachary Sullivan, sitting by her side, snorted. “I’m just glad we have a few years until we have to go to another ceremony after this.” He’d graduated two years ago with his degree in history, and now he was in grad school, with his goal to be a history professor. His twin, Wesley, was sitting on the opposite side of the table. They were identical, and I couldn’t count the number of pranks they’d pulled on us over the years. Wes was the quieter twin, though he had a mischievous side too.

Penny was walking tomorrow too, which meant there would only be one of us left—Angelina and Benjamin’s youngest, Lucy. She was fourteen and desperately wanted to be one of the big kids.

Between all of us, there had been college graduations the last four years in a row.

Lucy rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her iced pink drink as she thumbed through a young adult book from the bookstore portion of the shop. Aunt Noelle was a bestselling author, and when she’d been younger, she’d always dreamed of opening up a bookstore and coffee shop.

I wondered if she knew she’d be creating the future home of the Cousins Coffee Club. That we’d hang out here during college breaks and summer vacations even after we’d grown up. Though after today, who knew how often that would happen? Everyone had jobs and was getting busier. Beau, my older brother, had moved to California to play professional football in Los Angeles.

I nudged Penny at my side. “You ready for this? Getting our diplomas?”

We’d been roommates through all four years of college, driving home together some weekends when we missed our family—not that it was very far away. Growing up on the same street and only being ten months apart, our friendship had always been assumed, but from the time we’d been walking, we were tied at the hip—practically inseparable from birth.

Penelope was graduating with her degree in English and a minor in art, while I’d studied Elementary Education. While I’d been student teaching all of last year, I hadn’t found a placement at any of the Portland-area schools yet, so I was going to have to move back in with my parents after our current lease ended. Her dad was a professor at the University of Portland, the same school we were both graduating from.

While she’d found her love in art and writing, my love had always been figure skating.

Until it wasn’t.

And then there was my massive crush on her older brother. Owen Harper.

A crush, until it… wasn’t.

But I’d lost both at the same time.

“So ready. I’m so glad to be done with classes.” My best friend nodded, her red hair catching the light with the movement. She was the spitting image of her mom, all curves and freckles, but with her dad’s blue eyes.

Not that I could talk, since I was practically my mother’s twin, with her blonde hair and a set of blue-gray eyes. I could never quite describe the color, though my dad always said they reminded him of storm clouds on a typical Portland day. I was a few inches taller than my mother, though I’d also inherited her slender build. A body I’d worked hard to keep strong when I skated, loving the sensation of the air flowing past me as I soared across the rink. But I hadn’t laced up my skates in four years. Not since the accident.

“Is Owen going to make it back?” Beau addressed Penny. He was home for a few weeks from California, since the football season was over and he didn’t have to report back until later in the summer for training camp. Though he spent a lot of his time in the gym, keeping in shape.

“I don’t think so,” she frowned. “At least not for the ceremony. He’s driving down from Seattle.”

My heart leapt at the mention of my ex. I never asked about him, and somehow, I’d avoided him over the last four years since I’d ended things. It was easier said than done, considering his childhood home was on the same street as mine and our mothers being best friends. But there were perks to him being a NHL hotshot. Namely, that his visits were few, and I was pretty sure he had no desire to see me.

“Ellie?” My name was called, like it had been repeated a few times.

“Huh?” I turned, and Quinlan had an amused expression on her face.

“Whatcha thinking about there?” She sipped on her dirty chai latte while giving me a knowing look.

Looking down at my coffee on the table, I shoved the straw of my iced coffee in my mouth, drinking deeply. “Nothing.”

Chuckling, she readjusted her long braid. Quin worked as a zoologist at our local zoo, and I was pretty sure she had the coolest job out of all of us.

Of course, I still didn’t have an actual job, so that was probably the reason for the apprehension in my gut. That, and the unread text message on my phone.

Hopefully, a teaching position would open up over the summer, otherwise I’d just be substitute teaching until I could find something. It was a strange limbo to be almost twenty-two, a college graduate without a job lined up, and planning on moving back in with my parents. I was grown up, but it didn’t feel that way.

And I knew my mom—she would love on me and dote on me, treating me the same as she always had. I was her baby. But she also had treated me differently ever since the skating accident where I had hurt my knee. Like I was fragile . Like she knew my dream of being an Olympic figure-skater had shattered with one wrong move. A lot of my plans had fallen apart that year.

“Okay, maybe not nothing. I need to find a job,” I said, letting out a deep sigh.

“You can always come work here with me,” Penny said, gesturing to her mom’s coffee shop. She’d also lined up a job teaching ESL—English as a second language— classes online, but I knew she felt the same way that I did. We’d talked about it a lot, with all our siblings and cousins being so successful. How we were both worried we wouldn’t live up to them. How we hadn’t really made it. It felt like everyone around us was doing great—professionally, at least.

In the love department, we were all a little lacking.

At least Penelope was writing her first novel, though. She wanted to follow in her mom’s footsteps as an author. I’d already told her I’d be the first one in line to buy it when she published. Pen also had her art studio, and I loved to sit and just watch her paint.

“Don’t worry, El,” Beau said, leaning over and messing with my hair. “You’re going to find the perfect placement. I just know it. Look at you. Who could say no to that face?”

“You’re just saying that because you’re my brother,” I said, rolling my eyes as I leaned away from him, feeling like he was about to pinch my cheeks like I was still a toddler.

“Maybe,” Abigail shrugged. “But it doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

“Thanks, Abs.” That meant a lot coming from her. She’d always had this air about her, confident and put together. My sister had been a dancer for years, and I’d been mesmerized watching her on stage, so graceful with her long legs and slender frame. I’d danced too—it was really helpful with figure skating, and I loved seeing my mom at the studio, but there was something different watching her.

“Alright,” Wesley said, sitting down at the table with a fresh cup of coffee. “What’d I miss?”

Zachary rolled his eyes at his twin brother. My cousins were spitting images of Angelina and Benjamin, but the Bradford genes were strong, and when they were with Beau, people often mistook the three of them for triplets.

Everyone burst out laughing, and then we all continued our various conversations.

Penny looked over, squeezing my hand .

No matter what else, I had my family. The people crowded around me as we shared laughter and love while we drank coffee in the place we grew up.

The people I loved more than anything else.

Even if there was one person missing.

My graduation gown was unzipped, and I was clutching my diploma case and my decorated cap as I searched through the crowd, looking for my family. I was desperate to take my heels off, but we’d still have a bunch of photos to take, so I hadn’t yet.

When I caught sight of them, I practically beamed. “Hi!”

“There she is,” Mom announced. “I need to take pictures. Oh my gosh. Our little girl, all grown up.” She pulled out her phone, snapping pictures of all of us before asking someone nearby to take one of our family.

“Proud of you, sis,” Beau said, handing me a bouquet of white roses.

I smiled, looking at the beautiful flowers. “Thank you.”

My older sister pulled me into a hug, whispering in my ear, “You’re going to do amazing things, Ellie.”

“Congratulations, El.” My dad wrapped his arms around me once Abigail had pulled away, holding me tight. “I’m so proud of all you’ve accomplished.” I’d always felt safe and loved in his arms. He’d always been the best dad—driving me wherever I needed to go, sitting on the benches during my time at the rink, and always making sure I felt loved and supported.

“Thanks, Dad.” I hugged him back, he squeezed me tighter.

One more minute, I thought. I just wanted to be their little girl for one more minute .

It was just my mom who was left, standing there with her arms open for me.

“Mom,” I breathed as I stepped into her hug.

“Hi, sweetie pie. Look at you. My little graduate.” She kissed the side of my forehead. “Happy graduation day, my sweet girl.”

“Thanks, Mom. I love you guys so much.”

As the youngest Bradford sibling, I never could have asked for a better family. Beau was a year and a half older than me, and all throughout school had been fiercely protective of his little sister. And while Abs and I had barely attended the same school, my big sister had been there for every school dance, every skating competition, and every big moment in my life.

The decision to stay in my hometown for college hadn’t been an easy one. But after the skating accident that had left me with a bad knee, dashing my dreams for the olympics, I hadn’t known what I wanted anymore. Except I didn’t want to be alone in a new city for the first time in my life, and instead, I’d followed in my parents’ footsteps, attending the same university that they’d both attended. I was proud to wear the purple, and happy that there was no ice rink to remind me of what I was missing.

Who I was missing.

“Ellie!” My head perked up, and I saw one of my friends waving at me. “Let’s take a picture!”

I turned to my family. “Be right back?”

They smiled, and I ran over to hug my friends and take pictures with them. It was strange to think that we’d never all be in one place like this again. That after four years of college, I might not see some of my classmates ever again. We all said our goodbyes, promising to keep in touch.

I made my way back to my family, my heart full and my camera roll full of even more photos.

“The rest of the family’s back at the house, waiting for the party,” Beau said, slinging an arm around my shoulder. I hadn’t been able to get as many tickets for today as I had people who loved me. All of my aunts, uncles, and cousins had been watching the live stream, but as soon as we got home, we’d be throwing a huge joint graduation party.

“Speaking of, has anyone seen Penny?” I looked around, scanning the crowd for a curly head of ginger hair. “I wanted to get one last picture.”

As if summoned, my best friend’s curls bobbed as she ran over to me, throwing her arms around me even as her cap dislodged from her head.

“We did it!” Penelope laughed as we jumped up and down in each other’s arms.

“You ready for the party tonight?” I asked, the smile practically splitting my face.

But her face grew solemn. “Yeah, but…”

I winced. “Oh. He’s… not coming?” I knew she’d hoped that her brother would make it to watch her walk, but he wasn’t here.

Penny shrugged. “No, he said he’s on his way, I just…” She bit her lip. “I love him, but it’s been hard, you know. I barely get to see him anymore.”

“Yeah. Beau’s only been gone a year, but even in college, I didn’t see him as much.”

Still, getting drafted to the NFL last year had been incredible for him. Our family was so proud of him, even if he lived down in California now. My Aunt Lavender, my mom’s sister, lived down there too, so we had plenty of excuses to go visit. Plus, we’d practically grown up going to Disneyland down in Southern California and Disney World in Florida, so going down to Los Angeles wasn’t anything new.

I hugged her tight to my side as her parents caught up with us.

My dad looked at all of us before wrapping his arm around my mom’s waist. “Everyone ready for the party?”

I nodded. “Let’s go.”