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TWENTY-FOUR

Owen

NOW

B eing in California was really putting things in perspective for me. Especially when I watched my teammates call their wives and girlfriends, turning in early from the bar each night.

Last night, I’d met up with Beau. Brooks, Mav and Reid had all jumped on the opportunity to go to the California Cougars game with me, and I was always happy to see him play for once. Our seasons overlapped, and it was unfortunate that I couldn’t make it down to see him on the field more. He’d always been one of my best friends, and I was still grateful that hadn’t changed after his sister and I had broken up.

But would it change everything if we started seeing each other again? And what would happen if it ended badly this time? Our families were so close. Our moms were best friends, for fuck’s sake. It would tear our families apart if something happened between us. I’d already been on the outside for the last five years, barely wanting to go home. Avoiding seeing the guys or spending time with the group because I knew she’d be there .

And now I was all alone in my hotel room, staring up at the ceiling. It was quiet. It didn’t smell like Ellie’s shampoo. She wasn’t sitting on my couch, leafing through papers or reading a book. I was alone. And I hated it even more than usual tonight. Disappointment flooded through my veins. This wasn’t enough. Not anymore.

Maybe that was why I picked up my phone, typing in a text. I was making more of an effort to be present in the cousins group chat, but I wanted to talk to her, too.

Owen

Hi.

Ellie

How’s it going?

Good.

I caught the game tonight. Nice shot on goal. Bummer that it didn’t go in.

Yeah. I’m trying not to beat myself up about it. There’s always next time.

At least we’d won, though. That was better than our first road trip game. Sure, losing in overtime was better than in regulation, but it still sucked.

Also, I forgot to tell you this the other night, but thanks for giving Sophia my number. We hung out, and I had a lot of fun.

No problem. Coach asked, and it was the least I could do.

Sophia and I were friendly, but I wouldn’t have called us friends. Not when Coach Donovan made it exceptionally clear to every guy on the team to stay away from his daughter. Not that I was looking .

I’d only ever had eyes for one girl.

Ellie’s words flashed through my mind. This life, Owen… This life was meant for you. You’re so smart, but you’re so good at hockey, too. And you love it.

I loved you, I’d wanted to tell her.

But I’d meant what I told her, too. Because as much as I wanted her—I always wanted her—I couldn’t start something if she couldn’t tell me the truth. It was bad enough that she was in my space, overriding all of my thoughts. Smelling so fucking good all the time and looking so pretty. Plus, there were those tiny little sleep shorts and the way her nipples poked through her thin tank tops.

I groaned at the thought, resisting the urge to palm my cock until my aching erection subsided. Fuck me. I was a damn fool. All I wanted was to kiss her again. And again. And again.

No matter what she said, no matter how much her words rang true, I couldn’t keep lying to myself that I didn’t want her anymore.

You were always destined for this. I couldn’t hold you back.

When you get home… I think I’m ready to talk.

I miss you.

I miss you too, Skater Girl.

Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you in the morning.

Night, Hockey Boy.

Sweet dreams.

I already knew I’d be dreaming of her.

I always did.

“So, two weeks with your new roommate , huh?” Brooks asked me in the locker room, leaning against his stick. “How’s that going?”

We were all suited up and ready to play against Anaheim. It was our last game of the road trip, and I was ready to get home for multiple reasons.

One of which, yes , was Ellie. It had been so hard to walk away from her the other night, especially when it had been so obvious that we wanted each other. But no matter how much I wanted her, I couldn’t be the one to put my heart on the line. Not again.

I rubbed my hand over my jaw, which was rough with stubble. “It’s… nice, honestly.” I’d forgotten how nice it was to come home to someone else. To have someone to eat dinner with and talk about my day.

Maybe that was the problem. I liked it too much.

“And?”

I frowned. “And what?”

“And? Have you told her how you feel?” Brooks asked, nudging me in the side as I grabbed my helmet.

“He’s asking if you two have fucked yet,” Mav interjected, giving me a shit-eating grin.

I punched him in the arm. “No.”

Brooks rolled his eyes at his brother. “You’re ridiculous. You know that?”

He shrugged. “We’re all thinking it. You saw his texts. What did you say, Harps? I want more? ”

Fuck. Why did I have to confess everything to these guys? Looking across the room, I knew the answer. Besides my family, they were my best friends. And over the last few years, I’d spent so much time with them that this team had become my family. Blowing out a breath, I fitted my helmet on my head, antsy to get out onto the ice and start warm-ups. I was eager to burn off some of my excess energy .

“It’s complicated,” I said. I’d wanted to insist it wasn’t like that, but… it was. The problem had never been me wanting her. It had always been her wanting me.

But there was this spark between us that no amount of time could erase. I could still feel the press of her lips against mine. How soft they’d been as I’d coaxed her mouth open. But falling into bed together wouldn’t solve our problems, no matter how badly I wanted it. Craved it.

I shut my eyes, trying not to think about the look of hurt on Ellie’s face when I stopped us from going further that night. Pumping the brakes had been the right call. I knew it in the deepest recesses of my brain, as much as my body disagreed.

Reid made a noise in the back of his throat from behind me as we funneled out of the away locker room and headed towards the tunnel that would take us out onto the ice. “Complicated my arse,” he muttered.

“Mac, you ready to shut this place down?” One of our rookies, Andrei, shouted at Reid from the back of the line. He’d had our last game off, with our alternate goalie—Matthias Farkas—starting in the net against LA.

Goalies were some of the most intense people I’d ever met. They spent the entire game out on the ice, staying completely focused and in the zone. If a puck got past them, it wasn’t just on them. It was also on us as defense for not getting it out of the zone and protecting them better.

Hockey wasn’t just about one guy on the ice—it was about all of us as a team. Win together, lose together. When someone was off or someone went out because of an injury, all of us felt it. Which was why we all felt last night’s loss. But that was the nature of the game. We just had to be at the top of our game. We couldn’t afford to be making sloppy mistakes or letting the opposing team get a bunch of scoring chances.

Reid grinned as he pulled his goalie mask on over his face. “Damn right I am, boys. Let’s go play some hockey. ”

“Hear, hear!” Brooks shouted.

Stefan gave his nod of approval, his eyes bright as he surveyed the team. Rhodes was at his side, that permanent frown on his face even with the A on his chest. Grumpy fucker, but he was a damn outstanding hockey player. It was an honor to play on the team with both guys.

Our fifteen minute warm-up period went by fast, per usual. Maverick was first, knocking the pyramid of pucks that sat on the boards onto the ice, and Reid was behind me. We circled the net, each taking turns shooting a puck towards the net, Reid doing his best to block all our shots. I did a few passes before skating over to the bench and bouncing a puck on my stick. At home, I’d normally throw it back into the stands. There were still some Seattle fans here tonight, but it was nothing like being on home ice.

And it was nothing compared to having my girl in the stands, knowing she was there. I wanted her to come to another game, but she hadn’t asked, and I didn’t want to force her. She seemed to have a good time with the other wives and girlfriends, and Sophia had gotten her number to invite her to hang out, but still. We were roommates and just friends. Except that kiss…

I shook the thought from my mind. Thinking about Ellie was a distraction, and I couldn’t afford that. Not when I wanted that cup so badly I could taste it.

The timer ticked down on our warm-up period, and I skated off the ice, heading back towards the locker room. Brooks knocked his shoulder into mine as he caught up with me, not saying anything. It was just our quiet show of support with each other.

We weren’t on the starting line tonight, which meant that when we came back from warmups, both of us slid onto the bench next to each other. We’d be ready to hop into play fairly quickly as soon as the first shift on the ice finished.

I bounced my leg as we sat, watching the puck drop. Rhodes won the face-off, and the guys took off down the ice, passing the puck around Anaheim’s players, but it was stolen before they could make a shot on goal.

“You’re extra jittery tonight,” he muttered. “Need to expel some excess energy, Harps? Maybe Mav is right, you do need to get laid.”

“Hey,” I groaned. “Not you, too, Hendy.” I adjusted my sleeves, pushing them up to allow the cool air from the ice to hit my wrists and lower forearms. “It’s not like that.”

“You don’t want to sleep with her?”

“ Fuck .” I was so fucking glad we weren’t mic’d up regularly for games. If we were, we definitely wouldn’t be having this conversation on the bench. “Of course, I do. But there’s more to it than that. And this isn’t the place to talk about it.”

“Breathe, man.” He patted my shoulder. “It’s all going to work out.”

I nodded, hoping he was right. Once we were on the ice, my mind would clear. The game always helped me achieve clarity, to get that crystal clear focus I needed to get through each shift.

A few moments later, Coach called out the line change and Brooks and I both hopped over the boards, skating out onto the ice and quickly throwing ourselves into the play.

I blocked a pass made by the other team and sent it sailing back down towards our ice. Icing . Damn. The whistle blew, and we reset, taking our spots at the face-off circle.

By the end of the first period, we were still 0-0. Anaheim’s defense was solid, and I was pretty sure I’d pulled something in my shoulder during a shot I’d blocked. I tried to massage it during the intermission, but it wasn’t bad enough to keep me out of play. At least we had tomorrow off, and I’d be able to rest. I shut my eyes as I sat back against the wall in the locker room, willing myself to focus on the game ahead and not the girl I’d left behind.

The apartment was dark as I trudged inside, tired down to my bones from the last week of travel and sleeping in a hotel—not to mention playing three games. I rubbed at my shoulder, which was still aching despite seeing the team chiropractor after the game and being checked out. That last body-check against the boards had really done a number on me.

God, I couldn’t wait to crawl into my bed and fall asleep.

I didn’t bother turning the lights on in the apartment—it was late, and I was sure Ellie was already asleep, especially since she woke up before six most days to get ready for school.

We’d both always been early risers, though these days, I got up early just to spend time with my roommate.

Two weeks had passed since she’d moved in, and it felt so right coming home to her.

Opening the door to my bedroom, I dropped my duffel bag on the floor, the clothes from my body quickly following behind. I’d clean them up tomorrow. Right now, I just wanted to sleep.

I froze as I heard a light moan and the rustling of sheets. Looking up, the light from outside illuminated my bed, and there was an unmistakable lump under the covers.

The moonlight caught on honey blonde strands of hair. Ellie . In my room. Sleeping in my bed.

What was she doing in here? I marveled at the sight for a minute, because it felt so right. Had she missed me like I’d missed her?

Slowly, I pulled the covers back, sliding in beside her. I was grateful that she’d always been a deep sleeper and didn’t wake up, even as I wrapped my arms around her.

Pulling her tight against my body, I buried my nose in her hair, reveling in her scent. In the feel of her soft, lithe body pressed against mine .

I wasn’t ready to give her my heart again, but damn if I wasn’t halfway there already.

Exhaustion took me, and I fell right to sleep, holding the love of my life in my arms.