Page 60 of Toni and Addie Go Viral

Toni

“Toni?” Addie’s voice sounded wrong, and it felt like a punch to the heart.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really.” Addie made a strange noise. “I’m at the studio, and there’s a sofa on me.”

“A what ?”

“Sofa. And my arm feels funny,” Addie continued. “I need help, Toni. Can you send someone here to move the sofa? I can’t get up, and it hurts.”

Toni stood up, pacing like there was a solution that didn’t include hanging up on Addie. The best she could think was a conference call. “I don’t know if I’m going to do this right. Let me try to call Marcela.”

“Don’t hang up!”

“I’m not planning on it,” Toni swore. “I’m going to try a conference call. Add her to the call.” She looked at her phone and jabbed ADD CALL . She tapped Marcela’s name, and in short order, she had her on the phone, too.

“Addie’s at the studio and hurt.”

“ What? Where?” Marcela sounded like she was in her car.

“I’m pinned under the sofa. Philip flipped it, dropped… liquor on me, and my arm feels funny,” Addie said in a burst. Then she gasped. “I thought… I thought he was going to… I don’t know. I backed up and—”

“Let me call security. I’ll be right there, but there’s security on site.” Marcela disconnected.

“Are you still there?” Addie asked.

“I am. Let me get a flight out, and I’ll be there,” Toni started.

But Addie cried louder. “I don’t want you here. I don’t want to see you.”

“Addie…” Toni didn’t want to upset her, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to stay away when Addie was hurt. “Listen.”

“No.” Addie sniffled. “Someone’s coming. I hope it’s not Philip.”

Toni’s stomach twisted at the thought of Philip hurting her again. This was Toni’s fault, insisting he be fired. He wasn’t to know until Addie was gone for Thanksgiving. “Who’s there? Is it him?”

“They’re here. Security.” Addie made a whimpering noise. “I’m going to go shower and maybe get a sling for my arm. Just… thank you for sending help. Stay away, please, Toni. My heart already hurts too much even hearing your voice.”

Then she hung up, and Toni was left staring at her phone in shock. She’s safe now. She said so. But she was hurt. That homophobic jerk had hurt Addie. Toni’s fist curled into a ball, and she realized she was shaking.

Addie was injured, and of all the people she could call, she picked Toni.

And then she said not to come.

Toni wasn’t even sure whom she could call for updates. Marcela was driving, and Toni didn’t have Addie’s roommate’s number. Or her parents’. Or her…

What about her manager?

Before the thought was fully processed, she called Emily. “I need Addie’s manager’s number. She’s injured, and I need to know what’s happening.”

“Call Addie then.”

“She won’t talk to me, Em. It’s been a month. I have been trying to talk to her every damn day,” Toni blurted out.

“Why?”

“Because she won’t answer, and now she’s hurt and—”

“No. Why do you keep calling?” Emily asked. “It’s obviously not about the show, and if she won’t talk to you, there are plenty of other women who will.”

Toni flopped onto her sofa. “Em…”

“Have you told her?” Emily asked gently.

“I don’t want to hurt her,” Toni said helplessly. “You know me. I can’t be what she wants. I can’t move to California. I can’t ask her to give up her career. I watched my mom suffer because—”

“Addie isn’t Lil, and you haven’t even tried,” Emily pointed out. “You couldn’t get a PhD or write a bestselling novel or a sequel or… handle your mom’s care. You can’t do a lot of things if you don’t even try it. You’re being a coward.”

Toni realized she was crying when Oscar Wilde headbutted her face and came away damp. She swiped at her cheeks. “I need to know she’s okay.”

“Because?”

“Because I love her,” Toni whispered.

“I’m fairly certain she feels the same way,” Emily consoled her.

“She does. That’s why she ended things. I said if either of us fell in love we had to stop seeing each other, and she said she loves me, so…” Toni’s words faded.

“Go to LA, Toni. Make it right. Don’t be a scaredy-cat. Go to her, and be there with her.” Emily sounded like she was trying very hard to be patient—and about to fail. “Buy a ticket and go there. Now.”

Toni held on to Oscar Wilde. “What if I fuck it up?”

“You are almost guaranteed to fuck up sometimes,” Emily said bluntly. “You love her, though, and she loves you, and you are happy with her. You’ll figure the rest out together.”

“What if I get like Lil?”

“Old and beautiful?” Emily countered.

“Em.”

“Sweetie, there is no way to know if you’ll develop dementia in the distant future, but refusing to let yourself love Addie and be loved by her because you might develop an illness decades from now is cowardly.

Refusing to try is impressively stupid. And, honestly, it’s not just your decision.

Let Addie decide if you’re worth the risk. Hell, she might leave you in a year.”

“She won’t,” Toni said.

“Then stop being a coward.” Emily sighed. “Go tell her you’re a fool who loves her before someone who isn’t this obstinate sweeps her away.”

“Will you watch Oscar Wilde if I’m not back by Monday? His feeder is full, and his new litter boxes are self-cleaning, but he’ll be lonely.”

“Yes.” Emily sounded like she was smiling now. “I know this is scary, sweetie, but I think she’s lucky to have found you. Go see her. Show her that you won’t run away when you get emotional or afraid. Tell her what you were afraid of.”

Toni already had her laptop open. Finding a last-minute ticket the night before Thanksgiving was neither easy nor cheap, but that was exactly what Toni was going to do. She was going to fly to California, tell Addie how she felt, and beg for forgiveness.

They could figure it out… if it wasn’t too late.

If Addie’s okay.

She has to be okay.

I can’t lose her.