Page 43 of Toni and Addie Go Viral

Toni

The entire checkout and ride to the airport, Toni kept replaying the conversation with Emily in her head.

This mess wasn’t Addie’s fault, or Emily’s, or…

well, it was the fault of someone at the event, and Toni had no idea which person that was.

Someone leaked it, and, of course, Toni herself caused it.

She wanted Addie with her, so she set out on a stupid plan—just like her father had done so often.

Toni couldn’t believe she’d screwed up so badly already. She thought about Emily’s words again.

“If you try to say it was fake right now, you’ll come out looking like a predator.” Emily’s voice was gentle, as if that would offset the horrible words.

“A predator ?”

“You aren’t looking at her like this is fake… and you aren’t an actor,” Emily said bluntly. “You are looking at her like she’s everything, and she’s younger. An unknown actor.”

“She’s in her mid-twenties, only four or five years younger than me at most,” Toni argued, as if age was the real issue.

“I’m aware,” Emily said dryly.

“It’s not… I’m not like that… you know me, Em.”

“I do, and I think you have far more feelings for Addie than you are admitting, even to yourself.” Emily took a breath. “If it looks like you seduced her and paid her off with the role… sweet, innocent, younger actor… that’s some MeToo fallout we don’t need.”

“But when we met, I hadn’t even sold the book.” Toni closed her eyes. “There wasn’t a show to even get a role in—”

“Yes. So in this situation, closer to the whole truth is better. I know you like your privacy, but you created this mess. You can either look like a monster, or admit you have feelings for a woman you met before selling The Whitechapel Widow. I’m talking to Greta and publicity, and I have a call in to Marcela.

What I need you to do is take your bride home, and be the fucking charismatic woman you can be the entire time you are in public.

You’re the one who has a lot to lose here, Toni.

If she decides to go to the press and say you pressured her or—”

“She won’t.” Toni looked toward the closed door. “I know her, Em. She’s not like that.”

“I hope you’re right,” Emily said ominously before disconnecting.

Toni understood the worries, but she trusted Addie. Even though she was currently angry, Adde wouldn’t lie. She was a good person, one who deserved more kindness than Toni had shown her today. It wasn’t Addie’s fault that Toni felt embarrassed by having feelings.

They walked through the airport side by side, but Addie was not so much as glancing at Toni.

She was again dressed in regular clothes, but slightly nicer than average.

Jeans and a blouse. A scarf and sunglasses.

Bright lipstick. Jangling bracelets. She looked like a hippie with some extra cash to spend on her appearance.

“You look amazing today,” Toni said in a low voice. “You always do.”

“You were an asshole.” Addie stared straight ahead. “Complimenting my clothes doesn’t undo that.”

Toni sighed. “I didn’t cope well.”

“Right, because having everyone think I fucked my way into the role is great. That must be why I lashed out at you.” Addie shot her a scathing glance. “Oh, wait… that’s not what I did, is it?”

After a moment of cycling through guilt and embarrassment, Toni opted to be honest about her reaction. “Em says that if we deny it—us, the wedding—I look like a predator.”

Addie was not having it. “Oh, I can see how that excuses your bullshit today, because it looks so great for me. I simply love that it looks like I earned this role on my back.”

Toni flinched visibly. “I’m sorry.”

“The wedding was your idea,” Addie reminded her.

“I know.”

“And the pictures…” Addie sniffled. “You can tell them it was an act.”

“I’m not an actor,” Toni said weakly.

“Then tell them you were just fucking me. Tell them you were pretending you care about me.” Addie bit out the words as tears spilled.

“Addie, I wasn’t pretending to care.” Toni wasn’t going to overtly admit how deep her feelings were or that she was terrified seeing the proof of it in those pictures. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to admit that this had stirred up her feelings about being just like her dad.

I won’t ruin your life like he ruined my mother’s, Toni promised silently.

“You look like you actually like me in those pictures. Really like me. Like I matter to you.” Addie pulled off her sunglasses finally. “I looked at the pictures.”

Toni sighed. “I do like you, Addie. We both know that. We’re friends, aren’t we? We spent a year emailing. Friends care, right?”

“I don’t know. My friends wouldn’t refer to me as a woman they fuck,” Addie said coldly before wiping away her tears and putting her sunglasses back on.

They were silent as they walked to the gate. Addie’s steps were sharp, as if she were trying to stab the floor with each footfall. Anyone who thought dating women was easier than dating men hadn’t ever dealt with an angry woman.

Not that we’re dating! Toni’s brain filled in quickly. We’re friends who ended up in a situationship sort of thing. That’s all this is.

Toni had been a lousy friend today, though. That detail was indisputable. She reached out and took the handle of Addie’s carry-on. “Let me take this for you.”

Addie shot her an unreadable look, but she cooperated. It wasn’t much, but Toni felt relieved by it. Eventually, Addie’s rapid steps slowed to an almost normal walk. She’d walked her anger off to some degree, or maybe her temper relaxed with enough time. Whatever it was, Toni was grateful.

By the time they reached the gate, Toni’s phone buzzed. She glanced down, bracing for another disaster.

“Upgraded” was all it said.

“We need to stop at the desk,” Toni murmured when Addie gave her a curious look. “New boarding passes.”

Addie made a sort of agreeing noise, but she said nothing. She stayed at Toni’s side as they stopped at the gate.

“We need to pick up new boarding passes,” Toni said, pulling out her ID and handing it over.

After a moment of digging in her bag, Addie held hers out, too. She stayed silent as the woman printed the updated passes.

“Here you go.” The cheerful gate agent handed the passes and IDs to Toni with a smile and a few other pleasantries Toni barely heard because Addie had walked away.

“Sorry,” Toni murmured to the gate agent before following Addie.

Addie picked a seat in the corner, as far from the others waiting for the flight as she could be without leaving this gate. When Toni sat next to her, Addie held out a hand for her pass silently.

“We’re in row two now,” Toni offered, handing over the boarding pass and Addie’s driver’s license.

“I didn’t plan to sit next to you. I don’t think I want to either.”

“I’m sorry for my choice of words earlier,” Toni said as quietly as she could. “I was upset.”

“So was I.” Addie stared out the window at the planes lined up at their jet bridges. “And yet I wasn’t an asshole.…”

“Addie,” Toni tried.

Addie continued to stare out the window, but now her foot was tapping in the air.

“I was wrong,” Toni added. “I handled my shock poorly, and I was wrong to word it that way.”

“I’m staying in the guest room.” Addie glanced over. “Not a hotel.”

“Yes.” Toni bit back the temptation to suggest she could share her bed. That was what had gotten them in to this mess. They had to step back, reassess, think this through clearly. She nodded. “That makes sense.”

“And you know this wasn’t my fault, so being an asshole to me isn’t fair.” Addie’s eyes were bright with unshed tears, and her voice was wobbling with some combination of anger and sorrow.

Angry women, crying women: they were hard to face. Justifiably upset and angry ones were worse. Knowing it was entirely Toni’s own fault was the absolute worst, though.

Toni held open her arm to invite Addie closer. “I was wrong. You should yell at me when we don’t have an audience. I was completely out of line, and I’m sorry I spoke to you that way.”

“You hurt my feelings.”

“I’ll do better,” Toni promised.

Addie practically threw herself into Toni’s arms, despite the seat arm between them.

PDA was far from Toni’s comfort—at least this sort of PDA.

The occasional exhibitionism she could support, but Toni was not generally a fan of nonsexual affection with people in public or, honestly, in private.

This hugging, cuddling thing that Addie liked was not Toni’s usual way of acting with women, even those she was sleeping with, but Addie was upset right now.

And it’s ultimately my fault, so I have to fix it.

“It’ll get sorted out,” Toni said. “And while it does, I swear I’ll do better.”

Addie sniffled. “You better.”

Someone nearby snapped a picture, flash making the moment impossible to ignore. This was their reality now, apparently. The press for the show all featured Addie’s face—for obvious reasons—and Toni’s picture took up half the back cover on dust jackets.

“Don’t overreact,” Addie whispered before settling back in her own seat. She put her sunglasses back on and stared out the window.

Toni decided she was less okay with the fellow passenger taking their picture than she’d expected. She angled her body, putting her back to everyone there and blocking Addie partly from sight—and from any more photos. When Toni glanced down at Addie, she noticed her slight smile.

“My hero,” Addie whispered.

There was no way to reply to that. Toni was a lot of things, but hero wasn’t one of them. They were in the news because of her mistakes. They were fake-married because of her. And Addie was stuck in DC because of her.

Toni was certain that she was nowhere near a hero, but it felt good to have Addie look at her that way all the same.

It was a helluva lot better than the hurt and anger she’d aimed at Toni earlier.

The worst part, though, was that the sight of Addie’s forgiveness made Toni want to tell her that she wasn’t misinterpreting the way Toni looked at her in the photos.

Toni was feeling things that would only lead to pain for Addie, and it made Toni want to run.

She needed time to think, space to rebuild the walls Addie had destroyed.

Instead I’m going to need to cope with having her in my home without letting myself think we could last.

That was the real reason Toni didn’t want Addie in her home. Toni was already falling for the vivacious, talented women shooting her secretive smiles. Having her in Toni’s home was just asking for trouble, complications, feelings that couldn’t last.…

Addie’s life was in LA; Toni’s was in in DC. Addie was healthy and wanted love; Toni had a not-insignificant chance of ending up like her mother. This thing between them would end. It had to.