Page 22 of Toni and Addie Go Viral

Addie

By the time dinner had ended, Addie wondered how someone who seemed so together could be so lost, because that’s exactly what Toni was. Lost. Not in a majorly impossible-to-fix way, but in a way that made pretty clear that her life had gone off the rails somewhere. Massive trust issues. Workaholic.

How did I talk to her for a year and not know all that?

Addie had to push down her urge to ask what she could do to help. She was a fixer—a trait trained into her by years of dysfunctional parents. She wasn’t going to do that with Toni, though. No matter how much she wanted to, Addie was going to think about her own boundaries.

“Beach?” she asked after Toni settled the bill.

Toni nodded. When Toni stood this time, she offered Addie a hand, and Addie felt like a real Victorian lady. Safe. Cherished. Not that she needed to be coddled, but it felt nice all the same.

Her phone buzzed. She looked down. Eric. A part of her, a part a little too much like her mother, wanted to ignore him. Instead, she asked, “Is it totally inconsiderate to answer this? My cousin probably wants to know about the role and…”

“Do you want privacy? I can—”

“Nope.” Addie tightened her grip on Toni’s hand slightly.

When they were outside, Addie tapped Eric’s name and called. “I’m just leaving dinner, but I got it. I got the part.”

Eric let out a whoop that Toni obviously heard. “Oooh, maybe you’ll see the sexy professor again.”

Addie winced. “Maybe.”

“I bet you do. They do these panels at Comic-Con and—”

“Let me just be in this moment,” Addie interrupted, since the woman at her side could hear him.

“This is amazing, Ads. Everything you need. Great show. Hot woman. It’s like hitting a lottery,” Eric continued. “How are you not freaking out? Why are we not going out and celebrating?”

“Tomorrow.”

For a moment, Eric grew quiet. “Are you okay? Use the code word if you’re in trouble.”

Addie smiled. “I’m fine.” Then she lied, “Business dinner right now. Talk later?”

“So, so awesome, cuz.” Eric’s exuberance was all the proof anyone would need to know they were related.

Addie disconnected.

“Business dinner?” Toni asked with a quirked brow. Her tone was chilly as she asked, “Is that what this is?”

“Nope, but ‘strolling along the beach with the sexy professor’ would raise questions I don’t want to answer in front of you.” Addie pulled off her shoes and then tugged Toni closer to the water.

Toni still had on her sensible low boots. “So you talked to your friend about the garden?”

“So you talked to your agent about me?” Addie rebutted.

Toni laughed. “In my defense, Em was my childhood bestie. She’s been at my side through crisis after drama after victory. I share everything with her.”

“I get that. Eric is my cousin, roommate, and travel buddy.” They veered close enough that the crash of waves was louder, almost enough to drown out the drum circle up ahead on the beach.

“So yeah, I mentioned the gorgeous woman who made me feel safe enough and excited enough to give me the first orgasm I had with someone.”

“You don’t filter anything you think, do you?” Toni asked as a woman walking by gave them a look that made it clear she’d overheard.

“Not usually. Is that going to bother you?” Addie held Toni’s gaze, feeling uncommonly confrontational in the moment.

“No,” Toni said after a pause. “I think it’ll land you in some drama if the show succeeds. I travel with Em sometimes because I said what I thought too often, and it caused some problems. I had to see a media-training person.”

Addie wanted to hug Toni. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.

I hope you know you can talk to me about that sort of stuff, too.

Now that I know, I mean. You could’ve before because I already did know but…

” She rested her face on Toni’s arm briefly in a hug-like gesture.

“I can manage reporters or that sort of thing. It comes with growing up here. But you’re not one of those, though, so I thought I could be real with you. ”

“You can.” Toni nodded as if she was having an internal conversation or doubts.

It took all of Addie’s willpower not to ask prying questions. Turned out, she didn’t need to.

A moment later, Toni asked, “So, being real, what are you looking for here? I don’t want shit to be awkward, and with the show… I mean, if you were already cast in the show when we met I would never have touched you.”

“Well, that would suck for me.” Addie dug her toes into the sand and stared up at Toni. “I still have no regrets, and I wanted to see you again so many times. I thought about video chats, even.”

Toni let go of her hand. “I wanted to see you, too. I almost sent you a ticket asking you to meet me. Then I thought back to what a shitstorm that would be if you shared the email.”

“I would never!” Addie frowned at the thought of that. “You have my word. I would never hurt your career—or mine—by going public with anything between us. I can be discreet.”

“Same, obviously,” Toni said. She squirmed a little. “I don’t date, though. So…”

“Luckily, we’re on a business dinner?” Addie teased. She stepped closer and kissed Toni briefly, a butterfly touch of a kiss, before stepping to the edge of the surf and getting her feet wet.

Toni watched her like she was something strange and vaguely unsettling. She obviously had not spent much time at the beach. That was something they’d have to remedy, whether they were friends or more.

“What do you want?” Addie asked. “I kinda feel like I need to know that before I can figure out anything. I mean, you’re the secretive one here.…”

At first Toni just watched her as Addie twirled along the edge of the water once and then walked backward, facing her now-silent date. Addie bit the inside of her lip to keep herself from pelting questions at Toni. She was a self-confessed introvert, and Addie was… well, not.

“I like all of our email, but I like this tonight, too,” Toni said carefully. “Talking and spending time with you in person, wondering if you’ll let me kiss you later.”

Which, Addie thought, is the definition of a date.

Addie thought it seemed wisest not to mention that detail since Toni claimed she didn’t date.

Maybe she was saying she didn’t usually do that?

Or maybe she was one of those situationship people who dated but then just didn’t call it that?

Out of all the little things they’d discussed, this wasn’t on the list.

So all Addie said was, “We could do things like this again, including the kissing.”

“I liked touching you, too,” Toni added in a huskier voice. “In case you had any doubts.”

“Yeah?” Addie hated her own insecurity, but there it was.

She wasn’t sure what Toni thought about that night.

It was on the list of things Addie wanted to know, but couldn’t figure out how to ask without sounding super needy.

Her face flamed as she asked, “Even though I didn’t… know how to… when I…”

Toni had no hesitation at all. “Yes. Some women don’t reciprocate at all, you know.”

“Is that what you want?” Addie felt like she’d fallen into a strange world.

Lesbians, in general, tended to be more “let’s discuss” than the few men she’d dated, but that openness never stopped fascinating her—and, well, she hadn’t even thought about dating anyone the last year.

There were a few flirtations, but no one had made it to an actual date.

Her mind had been too full of Toni, waiting for the next email, hoping they’d evolve to talking about big things, like the fact that Toni was the only person to touch Addie intimately or that Toni had named her main character after Addie.

Talk about grand romantic gestures.

Toni stepped closer, not all the way into the surf but moving nearer so she could speak softly and still be heard over the sound of the ocean.

“I’m not at all opposed to being touched, Addie, but…

if you’re not ready to do that…” Toni paused, like she was trying to find words.

“I still take satisfaction in giving pleasure. I’m flexible.

If all you want is friendship with no sex, I think that sounds good, too.

Between my two jobs, I don’t have a lot of time with friends.

I work. I go to the gym. I mind my monstrous cat, Oscar Wilde, when he’s not angry because I had to travel. ”

“What if I want both? The friendship part and the other part.” Addie felt like her face was bright enough to be a beacon even though the sun had set. She stared at Toni and made herself use the actual words. “The friendship and the sex.”

Toni smiled. “I’d like that.” She looked around then, and in a teasing voice, added, “Not here, though. It’s a bit more exposed than that garden.”

“So what about a hotel room…?”

“I do happen to have one of those tonight,” Toni said. “If you want.”

“It’s been a year of thinking of you,” Addie said. “One night. Then nothing for a year. I touched myself to one of your history lectures, Toni. So yes, I definitely want.”

The look Toni gave her was half-craving, half-awe. She held out her hand. “Let’s go.”