Page 2 of Toni and Addie Go Viral

Toni

Toni paused at the bottom of the uneven steps into The Lady’s Hand to take in the sight of several dozen patrons surreptitiously looking at her. She couldn’t complain. She was a stranger here, and a lot of bars catered to regulars.

“Mind yourself,” a woman behind her muttered. “Some of us trying to get a drink.”

“Sorry.” Toni stepped to the side, feeling like a weight slid a little off her shoulders at the distinct pub smell. Hints of smoke and liquor, perfumes and sweat, and it was inside a Scottish lesbian-friendly pub.

Tonight, Toni needed the familiar comfort of a woman-centered space.

Her father had managed to reach out from beyond the grave and ruin things.

She’d had a great turnout for her talk, and then a steak with colleagues.

It should’ve been an excellent day, but then she received news far worse than she’d feared.

Thank your stars you’re already dead, Dad.

If he hadn’t been, Toni would be flying back to the States tonight to plant her fist in his face.

Violence wouldn’t solve this problem, but it would make her smile.

Her temper was still a work in progress, despite years of effort.

Unfortunately, the old grifter was dead, and so he was impossible to punch.

More’s the pity.

After dropping her rain jacket on an empty chair at a table, Toni made her way to the bar.

At first glance, the stone-walled basement space felt like any generic bar, but this particular bar had the honor of being a newly opened lesbian bar, which felt remarkably hopeful.

In an era where such bars were an endangered species, the opening of a new one was exciting.

The bartender, a forty-something woman with teal hair and generous curves, came over. “Evening. Menu?”

Toni slid a credit card across the weathered wood of the bar and said, “No menu. Talisker, regular, not a special cask.”

A day might come when she could splurge on one of the Talisker top-tier whiskies, but not for the foreseeable future. At least the good whisky was cheaper here than back home. And though she was typically not a huge drinker, tonight Toni needed a metaphorical shot of Novocain.

The bartender’s gaze slid over Toni, and she pretended not to notice.

She knew she looked like a million other nondescript women.

Brown hair, brown eyes, spent too much time at the gym, and had a chip on her shoulder that she wore with pride.

Not quite sporting an undercut, but hair short enough to make a statement.

Not extremely masc but definitely not femme.

The labels had changed since Toni came out in high school, but the long and the short of it was that no one looked at her and thought she was anything other than what she was.

She took care of herself, and she made no excuses for her tendency to walk out of most bars with company. Most women weren’t surprised that she didn’t stick around. Toni wasn’t the staying kind, intentionally so, but she made a point not to imply otherwise.

Or leave with anyone wearing a ring.

Or bi-curious.

Or hoping to U-Haul.

Her interests were simple: no strings, no heartbreaks, no home-breaking.

Sex was like any other appetite. She fed it, but it didn’t define her.

Tonight, however, she knew she looked tired enough and felt lousy enough that she would likely leave alone.

Toni had glimpsed her reflection in the mirrored pillars of the hotel lobby.

Bone tired. And soggy from the light rain outside.

Whatever the bartender mistakenly gleaned from Toni’s weary face softened her expression, though. She nodded and grabbed a bottle. “Coming right up.”

Toni exhaled. Talking wasn’t high on her skills list tonight. She just wanted a few drinks to silence the feral rage that rolled under her skin. Every fucking time it felt like things were turned the right direction, reality snuck up and slapped her down.

That man hits from beyond the grave.

This week was intended to be a turning point toward victory.

Present at a respected conference. Accept the new job.

Build a name… she’d worked toward this new future for a decade already.

She’d overcome her roots, or at least left them buried in small town nowhere that she would never again visit—especially since she was going to have to move her mother closer to her.

Toni had her hooks in a tenure track position already. Her career was on solid ground. Her health was good. All of her financial woes had been sorted out. This week was to be the start of the dream, but the specter of her dead father had to fuck everything up.

“Passing through?” the bartender asked as she slid the overfilled glass to Toni.

“Just here for the weekend.” Toni paused, seeing a generous double shot instead of the single shot she’d expected. She lifted the glass and said, “Thank you.”

“You looked like you could use it.”

“You’re not wrong.” Toni smothered a laugh that was half cry, half rage. Confession wasn’t going to do a thing to plug the gaping money shortage in her life, so she switched gears. “I’m meeting someone. No food, just a drink. Can I order her drink now?”

The bartender nodded, looking a bit less friendly. “What’ll it be?”

Toni ordered her bestie’s drink.

“We don’t generally bring them out. Come get it when she arrives.”

“Thanks.” Toni settled the tab, and then she took her own glass to the table alongside the wall.

This wasn’t the way she’d hoped to spend her night at The Lady’s Hand.

When she’d added the bar to her plans, she was hoping for a strings-free evening with someone who was not living close enough to Toni’s new place to think that a hookup would turn into anything permanent.

Maybe it was crass, but relationships were right there alongside family reunions and “team building exercises” on the list of things she had zero interest in trying.

No rings. No marriage. That’s where her own mother went wrong. Once a woman started thinking that anyone’s promises of love were real, disaster was sure to follow. Better to avoid the nonsense. Late night hotel rooms, no last names, and vanish by morning.

Women are better for my liver than whisky is, too.

Toni took in the bar’s options. Dim light illuminated a decent sized crowd of female-presenting people, nonbinary people, masc lesbians, one Hey Mamas lesbian who was eyeing Toni like she was competition, and a number of what her Aunt Patty used to call the “lipstick ladies” back when Toni was a girl not yet aware that wanting to stare at those painted mouths was about kissing, not about wanting lipstick of her own.

There were newer terms, politically proper terms, but every so often, Patty’s voice crept into Toni’s mind like a salve.

“It’s okay to stare at them.” Aunt Patty patted Toni’s hand. “No matter who you are, no matter what you do, don’t doubt yourself.”

“Dad says I’m a freak.”

Aunt Patty made a sound that might’ve been a word swallowed back. “My brother is a drunken, lying fool. The only good thing he ever did was help create you.”

Sometimes, Toni wished she could turn back time to those moments with Patty, who had been a rock through Toni’s childhood and rough teen years.

Instead, Toni was on her own now, without the calming voice of her aunt or the occasional supporting words of her mother.

Her mom wasn’t physically gone, but she was more likely to call Toni the wrong name than she was to recognize Toni lately.

I’ve got this, Aunt Patty. I do. I’ll look after Mom and myself, too.

Toni pushed maudlin thoughts away as Emily slid into the chair across from her.

“Sorry I’m late.” Emily settled into her seat with the sort of graceful elegance that Toni could never mimic.

She was the delicate crane next to Toni’s stomping owl—and truthfully, she was as close as Toni would ever get to love.

Em was like a sister, and that was the only sort of emotional entanglement Toni was willing to accept.

“No worries. I just got here.” Toni gestured at her partially empty glass as Em went into a colorful story about an editor who had a stain on his shirt that made her feel like it was a Rorschach test the whole conversation.

Emily paused as the bartender brought over the glass of wine Toni had ordered and a second glass for Toni that she hadn’t ordered. Table service was not the norm over here, so the gesture was particularly kind. Apparently, Toni looked like she needed a refill.

“Talisker?” the bartender asked.

Toni fumbled for her wallet, but the woman simply smiled and gave a shake of her head. “On the house.”

“You are a goddess,” Toni said.

The bartender smiled and left. Emily gave her a look.

“What?” Toni muttered as she slid the glass of white toward her oldest friend.

Emily raised one brow. “Bartenders here don’t bring drinks out to you or buy you drinks.”

“Maybe it’s boredom.”

Emily rolled her eyes, and Toni cracked a smile.

The bartender had that sexy older woman thing going on, but she also seemed like a talker, and Toni wasn’t sure she could manage that—thanks to the news she’d just received.

She’d have to… Who the fuck knew? She had no idea how to fix the debt now on her plate.

When the bartender was gone, Toni said, “It’s worse than I thought, Em.

I’m going to head home tomorrow and see if I have any options.

I have a few things I can suggest to the department, maybe I can add an extra class and sign up early for teaching summer sessions.

If I had to, I could rent my guest bedroom and—”

“How bad?”

“Here.” Toni opened her bag and withdrew a stack of pages. She slid them toward Emily. She could recite them by heart even if she hadn’t printed the email and read and reread it. The words on the top—from the attorney’s office—covered the crux of things.

Ms. Darbyshire,