Page 58 of Toni and Addie Go Viral
Addie
A week passed in which Addie simply didn’t reply to Toni.
She set her phone to Do Not Disturb. She turned her out-of-office responder on for email, and she replied to texts only after a few hours had passed.
When Toni replied instantly, Addie still waited at least three hours before replying.
Then she moved on to waiting a day between replies.
Addie wasn’t trying to be rude. She simply didn’t know what to say.
The comments on socials had taken a turn; so many people were making crass remarks or baseless accusations, mostly making everything seem tawdry.
Several accounts had started to ask for proof of Addie’s age, implying that Toni had done something wrong.
One interview request suggested that Addie had been Toni’s student.
Another suggested that Toni had “turned her” into a lesbian, revealing that Addie had dated men including Philip.
She was fairly sure he was behind that leak.
From: June
To: Adelaine Stewart
CC: Marcela Gibson
Re: Interview
We need to get in front of the noise, Addie. What’s the plan with the joint interview? Do we need to loop in the publisher on this to get it on the calendar?
June
Addie winced. She knew she had agreed to the interview with Toni, but she wasn’t sure she could pull it off. Not now.
She dialed June. “Hey.”
“What’s going on? Have you seen the latest?” June sounded strained. “This is bad press, Addie. You need to do the joint interview.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because she was seen with another woman,” June said. “Have you talked to her?”
Addie felt tears burn. Apparently pushing Toni away for a week was all it took for her to move on. “We aren’t really married. You know that. Let’s do a release saying it was a scene for the show that was misconstrued. Could we use it? A fake wedding that the character remembers?”
June was quiet. “There is footage that works. I’ll call Marcela. Let me see what I can do.”
Addie hung up and opened her laptop. There it was, Toni and her TA.
Addie knew it wasn’t what the media was saying, but what stung was where they were.
Clearly, the building—a memory care home—was where Toni’s mom was, and Toni was okay taking someone else there.
She could take a random student to visit her mother, but not Addie.
“You let her in,” Addie muttered. “Not me, though.”
She clicked away from the photo and opened her email. She read all of the messages straight-though. The last one was about the photo:
From: History Toni
To: Addie
I swear the pictures are not telling the story they claim to. I was visiting my mother. I wasn’t there with Kaelee. I swear, Addie. You can email Kaelee if you need proof. I said I would be monogamous with you, and I meant it. Please stop ignoring my calls and messages.
Toni
Addie had no doubt that Toni had kept her word on monogamy. She’d heard Toni’s pain over the fact that her father was unfaithful. Toni might be a fool, but she wasn’t a cheater.
From: Adelaine
To: History Toni
I know you aren’t sleeping with your T.A. That’s not why I haven’t replied.
Addie
Not two minutes later, the phone rang. Addie didn’t have to look to know it was her. She ignored it. Her email chimed again.
From: History Toni
To: Addie
Answer the damn phone.
Toni
This time when Toni called, Addie answered. “Do we need to do this?”
“Do what?”
“Talk about things?” Addie sighed. “Can’t we just… I don’t know… not?”
Toni was silent for a long moment. “I don’t understand what happened. We had a great weekend. I didn’t do anything I can think of—”
“I think we just took this as far as it can go,” Addie said, cutting her off.
“I don’t understand. I did all the things you said you wanted.
I held you, and we talked. I just don’t fucking get it.
” Toni sounded frustrated, veering toward either anger or panic.
“What did I do wrong this time? You were feeling upset, and I dropped everything and flew there. Christ, Addie, I’d come to you any time you needed me. Anywhere.”
“What if I need you every day?” Addie asked quietly. “Forever.”
“Addie…”
The sob she was holding in escaped. “We talked for a year, Toni, and you couldn’t even share your last name.
We did things together… beautiful things, and the moment there was a crisis—one we should’ve faced together—you didn’t even want to let me into your home.
I feel like I’m constantly waging a siege on your walls, and you still don’t want to let me in. ”
“I care. You know I care. I’ve admitted it repeatedly.”
“But you don’t want to care,” Addie snapped.
“If you or I fall in love, this has to end. That’s your rule.
Who cares what I want? Who cares how fucking lucky we are to have found each other?
Or how well we fit? Or any of it? All that matters is that you have decided that you don’t want anyone to get close to you. ”
“You are close to me, Addie,” Toni insisted. “More than anyone I’ve ever so much as kissed. You. Only you.”
“What if I fall in love with you?”
“You can’t,” Toni said. “I can’t… we can’t do that. I’m not going to ruin your life by—”
“By loving me back?” Addie finished. “Maybe it doesn’t even matter.
What are we even doing? I can’t give up my career, and you can’t leave DC, so what are we even doing?
This is a mistake. We had fun, and it’s over now.
I won’t be like my parents, living my life with half a relationship.
This was a mistake. I had a plan, Toni, and this? It’s not it.”
“Can’t we just do what we’ve been doing? We’re good together,” Toni cajoled.
Addie swiped at her tears. “No.”
“I don’t understand why—”
“Because I already love you, Toni,” Addie blurted out.
“And since you decided that love means we’re done, we’re done.
Your rules, Toni. It was your call. From the first moment, it always has been, though.
Hasn’t it? I was just here, letting you set all the rules, and I’m not that person. I can’t do this anymore.”
“That’s not fair, Addie,” Toni started.
“So we’re just glossing over the fact that I said I love you?”
Toni sighed. “You can’t love me. It’s just that I was the first woman to—”
Addie disconnected. She wasn’t going to listen to Toni argue that she knew Addie’s feelings, to try to talk her out of feeling what she felt, to argue that she mistook lust for love. I know what I feel. She would focus on her career; maybe she’d get a new therapist, try a few dating apps.
Tears streamed down her face. She had to prioritize herself. No one else was going to do that. The woman she loved certainly wasn’t willing to do it.