Page 20 of Toni and Addie Go Viral

“Nope. I saw the conference had a lecture on Victorian lesbians, and… I was struggling reading the research books. Some of them are so boring! But then I heard you talk, and you had the answers I needed, so much so that I wanted to know more, and I wanted to say thanks. I tried to talk to you after your talk, when you were leaving, but I gave up.” Addie took a breath, but her words still tumbled out in a hurry.

“Anyhow, I got the role. I used what I learned from your lecture, and from talking to you, and I got the role.”

“Not that day, though,” Toni said.

Addie sighed. “No, but I wanted to see if I could be Victorian enough, and then you looked at me like…”

“Like you’re gorgeous,” Toni filled in.

Addie didn’t look away. “Is that weird that I went to the bar to talk to you?”

“No.” Toni was staring at her, an unreadable expression on her face. “The fact that you were excited by my lecture is actually flattering.”

“I was also pretty excited by how you worried about me when you saw me,” Addie said, half embarrassed by her jumbled confession and half wanting reassurances. “And when I left you there.”

“Well, your outfit was… incredible, and—”

“You liked it,” Addie pronounced proudly.

Toni chuckled. “Yes, but afterward, I needed to be sure you got home safely. I felt guilty that maybe I’d said something or did something to make you leave so abruptly.”

“No, like I said in my email, I just freaked out.” Addie felt her cheeks heat. “You know, I auditioned in that for Mina —”

“In that ?”

“Well, a dress over it, but I felt brave wearing it because of you, so I wanted that feeling in the audition,” Addie admitted. “I wore it for my first audition for your show, too.”

Toni laughed. “That’s fucking brilliant.”

“The drawers are like my lucky panties now.” Addie flashed her what she hoped was a beguiling smile. “You changed my life, and I have wanted to see you again so often… but I wasn’t going to just show up at an event. And you never once said your last name. I didn’t want to make you feel awkward.”

“That’s definitely not what I felt seeing you again.” Toni’s gaze slid over Addie.

“So what do you feel?”

For a moment, Toni was silent. She stared out the window, and Addie thought she’d gone too far.

But then Toni said, “Ridiculous things.” She glanced up at the driver and lowered her voice before saying, “You showed up that night like something out of my fantasies.”

Addie’s heart dropped a little. If all Toni liked was my looks…

“And you make me laugh, which I like—possibly need these days.” Toni glanced at her briefly.

Looking away, she added, “And you obviously share an interest in my favorite historical era… and you’re people-smart.

I’m not great at that.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh.

“I dreamed of selling a book. I thought it would be a tiny deal at most, and no one would care about the author. You were my private haven this last year, you know? The one person who wasn’t pressuring me at all.

You didn’t expect me to be an author or a capable professor or know how to handle interviews. ”

“But you always seem so confident!” Addie stared at her, baffled that the same woman who confidently held a room of conference attendees in her hand could be insecure. “I heard you lecture in Edinburgh, and you owned the room. You were so sure of everything.”

The car was stuck in gridlock, and Addie watched Toni look at the other cars but not really see them. She had a contemplative expression.

“I can lecture on history, but I’m anxious at these book events…

they want to know about my inspiration, my life, and I hate that part.

I love writing, and I’m thrilled that readers like the book.

” She looked back at Addie. “But I am more of an introvert than you might guess. I don’t want to talk about my private life”

“I’m not,” Addie confessed. “An introvert, I mean.”

Toni laughed. “If the show does well, that will be useful. I need to have Emily with me, so I don’t say the wrong thing.”

Addie wanted to hug Toni, offer to travel with her, whatever it took to make her feel better. “So you’re not a big fan of being out in public, then?”

“I know it’s weird. If I’d have been on my own, I’d just order room service in the privacy of my room. I feel adrift when people approach me and know who I am.”

“Is that what you want? To stay in your room tonight?” Addie moved closer, sliding across the plush leather seat to be closer to Toni.

“I wanted to wine and dine you at an expensive restaurant, Adelaine. Celebrate your new role in what I hear will be an amazing show.” Toni’s voice was lighter, more natural, as if she was suddenly the woman Addie had met in the bar in Edinburgh.

Talking about the show—or maybe about wanting to please Addie—brought back the confidence that talking about book events had evaporated.

“Room service at that hotel is pretty expensive, I bet. You can take me to an expensive in-room meal, or we could get burgers on the beach or walk down to the star walk or you could come to my apartment, and we can make sandwiches.” Addie shrugged before reaching out to take Toni’s hand again.

“Seriously, I don’t need fancy things. I’m the same person in real life as in our email…

okay, maybe more blunt… but that’s the only difference.

I live in LA, Toni. If anything, I ought to be the one tour-guiding for you if we’re going out.

And traffic this direction sucks anyhow.

I’m fine staying in if you want to turn back. ”

Toni stared intently at her. “You really don’t care?”

“As long as I’m with you tonight, I’m happy.

” Addie took a deep breath before blurting, “I auditioned for the role in part to see you again. You’re a hard woman to forget, Toni Darbyshire.

I’m here to see you, and if you’re happier going somewhere else”—she shrugged—“take me to the lobby bar or wherever you want to go.”