Page 23 of Toni and Addie Go Viral

Toni

Addie had pulled her hand free when she slipped out of the car, and Toni had to restrain herself from grabbing it back.

I don’t even do PDA. This is ridiculous.

But whether it was absurd or not didn’t matter; what mattered was that they weren’t touching, and after holding hands in the car and on the beach, Toni was not okay with all these minutes when she was not touching Addie.

It was ridiculous to be aroused by holding a woman’s hand, especially at her age, but there was no other explanation Toni could think of for feeling like this.

By the time Toni led Addie across the lobby, her panic was at war with her libido.

Something about Addie made Toni keep confessing things she wouldn’t typically share with anyone other than Emily.

Talking was different in email. In writing, a kind of distance made it easier to control the narrative, to limit what she confessed and what she kept hidden, but being so open in person was different.

That kind of trust was unheard-of for Toni, and she was trying to focus on the good parts, not the panic that kept rising up.

What if she betrays me?

What if she doesn’t?

Traditionally, Toni had acquaintances, colleagues, and that one trusted person. Emily. Em was the only family she’d had since Aunt Patty died. She was the only one Toni fully trusted.

When did I start trusting Addie, too?

Toni swallowed her panic as she looked at Addie, who was smiling and keeping pace despite her shorter legs. Those legs… Toni wouldn’t be surprised to discover that the jeans hugging Addie’s legs were painted on somehow.

“Do you need me to slow down?” Toni asked.

Addie laughed in such a way that Toni felt like Addie understood her impatience. It was taking an irrational amount of self-control to keep her hands to herself as they crossed the lobby and stood at the elevator bank.

When the elevator doors opened, Toni gestured Addie into the elevator car. “After you.”

“Or maybe before me this time,” Addie murmured.

Toni shot her a heated look, and Addie gave her the same innocent expression she had over a year ago in the pub. They stood side by side silently as the elevator doors slid open and let several people out.

Addie reached out and slipped her hand under Toni’s jacket. There was nothing inappropriate in the gesture. Toni still had on a shirt, but it felt like Addie’s palm was searing through the thin fabric.

“Adelaine…,” Toni started.

The elevator stopped again. The remaining passengers got out. And Addie stepped in front of Toni, so they were suddenly face-to-face. She stared up at Toni and said, “I want you to be patient with me, tell me what you like, show me what you like. I am not a pillow princess.”

Toni’s mouth gaped open, but no words came out.

But Addie wasn’t done. “I’ve thought about this a lot the last year, and I know what I like with my vibe, but I want to know how to please you, too.

I want to learn more about what I like, too.

I mean, I know I liked when you told me I was a good girl.

” Addie laughed self-consciously. “I liked it enough that when you were all brusque at the studio…”

When she left the rest of the sentence unspoken, Toni asked, “Enough that what?”

“That if I had to choose between the role and you, I’d have picked you.” Addie shrugged.

“I’m not worth surrendering a promising career move,” Toni said, sounding harsher than she meant to be.

“I wanted the role because it feels like it was meant for me, but I also wanted it because it was a chance to see you again,” Addie said without any apparent artifice.

“I want you. I want whatever this electricity is between us. I want our regular conversations throughout the week. There are other roles out there, but no one has ever made me break my no-sex rule until you, Toni. Just you. I want to be your friend, but I want you, too, and that’s exciting in ways that I don’t entirely understand.

I thought I just wasn’t… sexual until you kissed me. ”

“Oh.” Toni’s mind couldn’t quite keep up with the things she was hearing. A small, very rational part of her knew all the reasons that taking Addie to her bed was a bad idea. Keep it just friends, her logic insisted. No baby gays, she told herself. No tangling work with sex.

Then Addie said, “Since that night, I imagine you saying I’m a good girl when I get myself off. Can we do that?”

And all of Toni’s common sense died, left the building, ran fleeing from the wave of lust that surged up. She pulled Addie to her so abruptly that Addie let out a gasp, but she didn’t object when Toni lowered her mouth to hers. Instead she parted her lips in invitation.

Toni was the one to whimper when Addie pulled back and said, “Toni…”

“What?”

Before Toni could pull her close again, Addie said, “We’re here. Your floor.”

The elevator doors slid open to reveal the pinched face of a couple who looked like they had caught a glimpse of the antichrist. Maybe it was the sight of anyone kissing, or maybe pockets of homophobia were alive and well, even here in liberal LA.

Not as widespread as in some places, but Toni could draw a map of the hot spots for it in the country based on the number of places that dismissed her entire novel because the character was a lesbian.

She tried to tell herself, Some places simply don’t love lesbians, but if the details were reversed, if Toni were reading a book about a het woman, she wouldn’t dismiss an entire novel for that one detail.

And while Toni didn’t understand the appeal of hetero marriage, she didn’t give the heterosexual couple in front of her that lemon-sucking look that the woman standing there was currently sporting.

“Sorry. Excuse us,” Addie started to say.

Toni simply shouldered past them, shoving back the rage that threatened to sour her mood.

The only downside of Toni looking masc was that no one ever thought Toni might be straight.

Women who looked like Addie could pass for straight in a pinch, could escape danger or crude remarks.

Not that Toni wanted to pass, but every so often Toni thought it would be nice to live in a world where she did not get disdainful looks because of how she was born.

“Ugh. It’s like they’ve never considered having sex in an elevator,” Addie said, loud enough for them to hear.

A laugh bubbled up, and Toni stopped mid-step and stared at Addie. Foul mood no longer on the horizon. This woman was magical. That was the only explanation.

“Maybe they haven’t,” Toni managed to say.

“Poor things!” Addie called out as the elevator doors slid closed. She glanced at Toni and added, “Number?”

“What? Number of…” Was she asking how often Toni had enjoyed sex in an elevator or—

“Your room number,” Addie clarified with another of her giggles.

Toni rattled it off.

“For what it’s worth, I think about the chance of getting caught when you… when we…” Addie stammered a little this time, as if her courage had suddenly slipped away as Toni pulled out a room key. She sounded a little breathless when she said, “I can’t believe I even did that, you know.”

“Maybe we should make a list of things to try,” Toni said lightly.

She was pretty sure that the scandal of actually getting caught would be a big issue for both her careers, but there were plenty of other experiences to try.

Addie might be more willing to see Toni if they had a list of things to experience together.

The thought of not seeing Addie made Toni’s stomach clench.

Toni stopped in front of her room door. “I want to be perfectly clear, Addie. The role is still yours if you walk away. I am not going to sabotage or manipulate you or—”

“I know. You’re not the casting director, either.

” Addie took the key card and opened the door.

With a direct look and a smirk, she added, “And I still want the role if you don’t want me here, but I really, really want to get naked with you tonight if that’s okay.

” Addie turned the door handle and motioned, tossing Toni’s own gesture back at her, and said, “After you.”

The sound of the door closing behind them was unnaturally loud. The room was like a couple dozen others that Toni had slept in over the last year. Nice. Clean. Surprisingly spacious. It felt different somehow, just then, because Addie was in it.

Toni kicked off her shoes, and Addie did the same—except she perched on the edge of Toni’s bed to do so.

Toni folded her hands into fists to keep from touching Addie, but her mind was flooding with the desire to kneel there in front of Addie and worship her.

“With two jobs and everything else going on…,” Toni started, not quite ready to elaborate more on the drama with her mom or the size of the debt she’d had to clear or the stress of the film deal and travel.

Instead, she rushed the next words far more than she usually said anything: “I haven’t touched anyone since you. ”

“ Any one?”

“Yes.”

“Not even yourself?” Addie asked.

“Well… yes, but no one else. ” Toni stared at her, thinking that as much as she’d enjoyed the innocent-ingenue persona, Addie was enticing just like this, too. Blunt speech really was a turn on for Toni.

“Would you want to give me a demonstration?” Addie asked, holding Toni’s gaze even though she was blushing like a virgin at an orgy.

She sighed when Toni didn’t instantly answer.

“I just want to know what you like, but if that’s too much…

Is it wrong to ask? I’ve thought about what you would like if I touched you. I researched some even.”

Toni’s mouth went dry, and her voice rasped as she said, “No.”

Addie’s expression fell.

And Toni quickly added, “No, it’s not too much at all.”

“Is there anything I can do to put you in the mood?” Addie flashed that wicked smile she revealed every so often, and Toni had the flicker of a thought that she might have met her match.

Toni shucked her shirt, eyes locked on Addie, who was still sitting on the edge of the bed. “That expression helps.”

“I could strip you…?” Addie offered in a voice that was not much more than a whisper. Her nerves weren’t making her run, but they were still obvious.

Toni held her arms out and gestured at her remaining clothes. “You definitely could.”

As Addie stood and stepped closer, Toni saw her hand was shaking. Addie licked her lips as she unfastened Toni’s bra with surprisingly quick skill, but Toni could feel the slight tremble in her hands.

That’s not why I want her quivering.

So Toni added, “Seeing your body would be helpful, too. Be a good girl, and get out of the jeans.…”

Addie unfastened her jeans and shoved them down.

Toni’s eyes widened slightly when she saw that Addie was naked from the waist down.

“You said not to wear anything under them,” Addie murmured, squirming slightly. “So I didn’t… which is awkward, I guess, since you’re the one still wearing jeans and I’m bottomless.”

“You’re irresistible,” Toni pronounced as she unbuttoned her jeans and removed them and her underwear to stand naked in front of Addie.

This feels far more intimate than a hookup, Toni thought. Is this a mistake?

“And yet you’re not kissing me or doing anything, ” Addie pouted, forcing Toni’s attention away from her doubts and fears.

Toni brushed her lips over Addie’s as she tangled a hand in Addie’s hair, holding her fast although she was not going anywhere. Her free hand outlined the curvaceous line from hip to breast. But Addie pushed Toni away and took a step backward. “Show me.”

At that, Toni walked over to the bed and pulled back the duvet and top sheet. She stretched out on the bed and bent one knee. Addie’s gaze was laser-focused, and that alone would’ve been enough to make Toni’s body ready and willing.

“I’ve imagined seeing you naked,” Addie whispered.

“And?” Toni patted the mattress beside her.

“My imagination was not this good.”

“Come closer. Make yourself comfortable, Addie.” She stared at Addie, who was looking at Toni with raw need in her eyes. “Having you beside me would make this a lot more fun for both of us.…”