Page 56 of Toni and Addie Go Viral

Toni

When Toni woke before dawn to leave New Orleans on Monday, she felt like something was still off between them.

Addie had been cheerful, fun, and adventurous the last two days.

They’d laughed and enjoyed their time, and they’d talked about their dreams for their jobs—and unusual “get to know you” topics from favorite drinks to cities they wanted to visit. On the surface, it was good.

And yet as Addie kissed her goodbye in the pre-dawn hours and said she was staying in bed rather than walk downstairs or even walk to grab coffee before Toni left, Toni was certain that she wasn’t imagining it.

“Did I do something wrong again?” Toni asked.

“Why would you ask that?” Addie stared up at her from her cocoon of blankets. “I have a few hours until I need to be on set. It’s cold, and I don’t want coffee. You can go early, or grab one at the airport.”

“If I do that, I could stay a little longer,” Toni mused. She leaned down to kiss Addie again. Maybe they had time to—

“I need sleep, Toni. We said goodbye last night,” Addie interrupted the thought before rolling away from Toni. She waved half-heartedly over her shoulder. “Go to the airport.”

Toni was out of ideas. She couldn’t force a conversation, and there was no mistaking Addie’s actions.

Toni was being dismissed. She rolled her bag to the door, paused, and looked back, and then she headed to the waiting car.

They’d been intimate all weekend, and they’d talked a lot.

Toni made sure to hold Addie as long as she wanted, even when they hadn’t just had sex.

She pondered every detail as she headed to the airport.

She texted Addie:

It was great to see you. Next time, D.C.?

After a moment, Addie’s reply came in:

I’ll check my schedule.

Toni read it, reread it, and scowled. She was definitely being dismissed, and she had no idea why. Finally, she looked at the clock. It was an hour later in New York, and Emily was a disgustingly early-morning person.

Toni texted Em:

Are you awake? What does it mean when a woman rolls over and

ignores you? And then says “I’ll check my schedule” when you try

to plan to see her?

Emily called. “What did you do?”

“Nothing.” Toni stared out the window. “We had a great weekend. That asshole showed up at her door drunk, so I flew down and—”

“I’m on that, by the way. Continue.” Emily sounded businesslike. “What went wrong?”

“I have no idea. I thought we were doing great,” Toni muttered. “She didn’t want to get coffee today. And when I texted, she said she’d check her schedule. That’s not normal.”

“Was she… content? Did you ignore her? Fail to get her off?”

“ Obviously not, Em.” Toni thought back to the weekend, to Addie’s very obvious pleasure. “I don’t fail in that area.”

“So you said or did something wrong,” Emily surmised. “Did you give her the ‘we’re friends with benefits’ talk?”

“No.” Toni squirmed as she admitted the next bit. “I actually referred to this as dating. ”

Emily laughed. “Sweetie, you don’t need to say it like it’s a vulgar word.”

“I like her, and I told her I had missed her, and I suggested that she come to DC to visit me.” Toni thought back over the weekend.

Since their awkward conversation about Toni’s parents and her hang-ups on Friday, everything had been great.

She told Em as much, including Addie’s suggestion that she could visit Lil.

Em stopped her there. “She wanted to meet Lil?”

“I told her no. Who knows what would happen? Do you remember the nurse with the Betty Boop figure?” Toni thought back to the way her mother had launched herself at that poor woman.

It had been terrifying. There was no way Toni was going to subject Addie to that sort of risk.

“Speaking of Lil, I missed my visit this weekend because I was out of town. I need to stop on the way to campus. It’s early but…

” She wondered if it was too early. “Maybe I should go this evening, but I was hoping to talk to Addie tonight. Find out what has her acting so weird.”

“You know, if you didn’t care about Addie, you wouldn’t be so worried that she was upset.” Emily had slipped into her dealing-with-difficult-people tone. “Do you think maybe we should discuss that ?”

“No.” Toni felt panic curdle her stomach.

It felt that way every time she thought about what it could mean that she missed Addie, that she was making excuses to extend their friendship-dating-situationship.

Abruptly, she said, “I’m almost at the end of the book.

I’ll probably be done by the end of November. ”

“You have December if you need it,” Emily reminded her. “Probably early January. Everything in publishing shuts down in December anyhow.”

“I’ll be done before winter break. My break, that is. At the college.” Toni watched the driver take the exit for the airport. “Hey, I’m almost here. Thank you for talking. I’ll call you this week, okay?”

“I wanted to ask you about your TA,” Emily said.

“Kaelee? She’s great. English major. Wrote a book. I haven’t read it.” Toni frowned. “Why?”

“She queried me, and she referenced working for you.” Emily paused. “So many people reference you, but this one said she was your TA.”

“She is,” Toni said. “Kaelee’s smart. Driven. A little too much like me, probably, but I know nothing about her book. We’re pulling up at the airport… unless it’s urgent? I can call you back after I get through security.”

“Tomorrow is fine. Fly safely,” Emily said.

By the time Toni got to Dulles, she was ready to call Addie again. She’d hoped that there would be a call or an email or something. Instead, there was only a text message from Kaelee asking if Toni wanted her to cover the noon class.

“Headed to nursing home. Will be into campus by eleven. Should be there to teach unless traffic accident or etc,” Toni replied via text.

Honestly, for all that Toni had protested, she thought Kaelee was great.

She was juggling her PhD in English Literature, although her Master of Arts was in History, and was TAing for Toni—all while querying agents.

If not for the fact that Kaelee technically worked for her right now, Toni would be glad to call her a friend.

By the time Toni collected her bag and was in her Jeep, she was down to roughly an hour at the memory care center before she had to get to campus. She parked over by the sign for the home, walked in, and signed in.

“Lil’s been in a funk the last few days,” one of the staff caregivers said when she saw Toni.

“Did something happen? Did she fall or—”

“No. She’s been concerned that your father hasn’t called or visited.” The woman gave Toni a sympathetic look. “Grief is so much harder when you have to keep experiencing it as if it’s fresh.”

Toni didn’t want to repeat that it wasn’t his death that was the issue; it was all the horrible things he did in their life together. So she left it at, “I’ll see if I can talk to her.”

“She’s in her room,” the woman said.

Toni always braced herself for seeing her mother, and she was already on edge today. She tapped lightly on the door before going in. As she did, she had to duck. Her mother threw a shoe at her.

“Lil!”

“I thought you were your dad,” Lilian said. It was not an apology. At best, it was a half-hearted explanation.

Toni stepped into the room, taking in the pile of used tissues on the table next to her. Beside that was—

“Why are you drinking coffee?”

“Because I wanted to. I had one of the neighbors smuggle it in.” Lilian looked proud of herself. “The nurse refused, so I went around her.”

“Mom…” Toni leaned down and dutifully kissed her mother’s paper-dry cheek. As she was doing that, she took the cup from her mother’s table. “It’s bad for your heart.”

“So’s your father, but I didn’t dump him down a drain. Maybe I should’ve. I landed in a prison anyhow.” Lilian gestured around the tiny room. “Least we’d have something in common if I ended up in the hoosegow.”

“The what ?”

“The joint. The slammer. The pokey.” Lilian grinned at her, a flash of her still pearly white teeth. “Instead, your dad tried to convince everyone he died and stuffed me in the old people jail. Do I look old to you?”

“You’re beautiful, Mom.” Toni smiled. “He’s really gone, though. He died over a year ago, and the house was too much for you.”

“Huh. Gambled it away, did he?” Lilian shook a finger at her. “You can’t lie worth a damn, Toni. Never could. Too much like me.”

Toni was always at a loss when her mother had windows of clarity… or near clarity. In a lot of ways, it was easier when Lil thought she was talking to Aunt Patty.

“Well, sit down. You make my neck hurt having to crane it up at you. Too tall for a woman,” Lil grumbled.

Toni tentatively sat in the chair across from her mother.

“Is he actually dead?” Lil asked after a drawn-out pause. There were tears in her eyes.

“He is.”

“And you’re stuck taking care of me?”

“I’m not stuck—”

“Don’t lie to me.” Lilian gave her a glare that was as infuriating now as it was growing up. “We have never been close enough for you to care about my feelings. Don’t pretend you like me now.”

“You’re my mom.” Toni knew she had a mirrored expression of her mother’s. “And you weren’t bad to me. We just clashed. I love you, so yeah, I found you a safe place to live.”

“I love you, too.” Lilian looked around her sitting room. “Posh for an old folks’ home. Did you do something reckless?”

Toni squirmed. “I wrote a novel, and it sold well. There’s a, umm, television show coming out, too.”

“Really?” Her mother’s expression was awe-filled. “All I did with my life was write a few songs.”

“Good songs. You still make royalties on them, you know,” Toni assured her. “Plus, you convinced me that the arts were worth a try.”

“Gambler’s spirit, right there.”

“No,” Toni objected quickly.