Page 61 of To Go Against Her Heart (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

Several months later, on a cold winter’s night, Elizabeth lay awake in her chamber.

The early hours afforded her no rest, and she knew the house would feel strangely altered the next morning, as all the guests had departed from Pemberley after staying with them for Christmas.

The past few weeks had been most memorable for her, for not only had she been reunited with her family, but also with her dearest friend Charlotte.

Amidst the Christmas festivities, Richard and Charlotte had been honored with an engagement party in anticipation of their wedding in town.

Yet above all else, the greatest joy shared at Pemberley was Elizabeth’s announcement—she was with child.

The news had both surprised and delighted everyone, for it had been known only to Darcy and Elizabeth a few weeks before the guests arrived, and they had resolved to preserve it as a happy surprise for their family.

Though Elizabeth was thrilled to be carrying the Darcy heir, she often felt fatigued, and Georgiana had undertaken much of the arrangements for the season with the help of the housekeeper.

Elizabeth’s persistent nausea caused Darcy great anxiety and worry for her health.

Though both his aunt and Mrs. Bennet assured him that such ailments would soon pass, he could scarcely endure seeing her unwell.

His concern and worry warmed her heart, yet Elizabeth could not help but wonder how he might bear the greater trial when the time came for her to deliver the child.

Unable to sleep anymore, she silently sat up, not wanting to disturb her husband.

“Where do you think you are going at this hour?”

“Good Heavens! You scared me,” Elizabeth cried upon hearing Darcy’s words.

Darcy gently pulled her back into his arms.

“Do you feel unwell again? You hardly touched your supper last night,” he asked, softly caressing her curls. To his distress, he thought she seemed to grow thinner, which only deepened his anxiety.

“No, I do not. I am merely restless, and I did not wish to disturb you.”

“And pray, enlighten me, as to what did you intend to do upon rising?”

“I wished to go downstairs.”

“You wished to go to the kitchen at this hour without summoning your maid? How often must I remind you that there are people at your disposal, and you must know how much the staff care for their mistress?”

“I do, but all my life I have lived in a small household with very few servants. I am accustomed to attending to such tasks myself, even in the middle of the night.”

“I have allowed you your freedom in this matter before, but now, in your delicate state, I cannot permit you to exert yourself in the slightest.”

“You are making me lazy, and I wish you would realize that,” Elizabeth protested.

“You need all your energy when the baby arrives, and as much as I admire your impertinence, this time you have to obey me.”

“You are scaring me, Fitzwilliam. I am beginning to believe that you will forbid everything that gives me pleasure, especially attending Charlotte’s wedding.”

“The wedding is not until three months, and I promised you that if you are well and the doctor allows you to travel, we shall go.”

“I am well, and I shall be quite fit to travel; you need not have the doctor confirm it. I cannot understand why you insist on arguing with me of late. Just yesterday, you forbade me from climbing the stairs and carried me about as though I were a child, and you would not allow me to assist Georgiana, though I felt perfectly fine. I cannot comprehend why, all at once, you should seek to control me so,” she cried.

Darcy observed, with some curiosity, how her cheeks flushed with anger, and he could not help but notice how often she lost her temper with him over the most trivial matters.

Understanding that it was due to her pregnancy, he smiled.

“Now what is amusing you?” she asked with irritation.

“Nothing of consequence, yet the color on your cheeks reminds me of the time you discreetly scolded me at the Netherfield ball,” he said.

Seeing how calm he remained, Elizabeth finally realized that she had begun to grow irritated over the simplest of things.

“I am becoming quite a headache these days, am I not?” she said, with a touch of anger directed at herself this time.

Darcy lifted her chin and made her look at him.

“You are allowed to be angry with me, to scold me, and to act as you feel is right. You carry our child, and though I cannot know fully what a woman endures, I have seen my mother grow tired, fatigued, and sometimes as irritable as you when she carried Georgiana. I love all of you, Elizabeth—your anger, your wit, your determination to defy me, and above all, your beautiful heart, in which you have placed me so dearly.”

“I do not know what I did to deserve you, and I understand you are worried about me, and I promise you I will take care of myself and our child,” she said, and Darcy called for some tea and, though it was early, a light breakfast.

As he watched her eat, Darcy revisited the past eight months of their married life, which had been nothing but perfect.

Elizabeth had brightened their lives and Pemberley in a way he could not describe in words; even the hard-to-please housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds, often mentioned to Darcy that Elizabeth resembled his mother in so many ways.

Day by day, he understood why he had fallen in love with her so deeply.

“Why are you looking at me so?” she asked, as she gobbled up the food.

“You seem hungry,” he said with a smile.

“Just as my spirits shift, so do my cravings; I hope you shall not be inconvenienced.”

He sat closer to Elizabeth in the settee and put his arm around her.

“Whatever you want, whatever you do, I shall never be inconvenienced,” he said, and gently kissed her neck.

“Do you desire a boy or a girl?” she asked, her eyes suddenly brightening.

“Honestly, a girl and Georgiana does feel the same way.”

“I should like a boy, quite simply because otherwise you would be outnumbered by a girl. For your sake, I wish our child might be a boy,” she said, resting her hand upon her stomach.

Darcy placed his hand on hers, and as early as it was, he now started yearning for the time when he would feel the baby’s movements.

“We still have many months to argue about this. Now, it is time for my wife to rest,” he said as he observed Elizabeth yawn.

He carried her to bed, and she settled in his arms and fell asleep within moments.

Darcy lay awake beside her, relishing her beauty, while she succumbed to a deep and peaceful slumber.

As the faint morning light filtered through the windows, he watched his wife, the woman who had always chosen to run away from him at every instant, fearing her own heart. Now she had given him not only her love but also her trust. He knew that the universe had destined their union.

As for Elizabeth, as she slept leaning against his shoulder, the only place she truly felt safe, a beautiful dream lingered upon her—a vision of her future being the mother of twins, a boy and a girl: a life filled with happiness, love, and passion in equal measure, a life she had always longed to share with the man she loved, and above all, respected.

When she awoke a few hours later, she found Darcy still awake, gazing at her with the same tenderness.

“Pray tell me, why did you not sleep?” she asked.

“I was watching you. You seemed to be smiling in your sleep, and it was a vision far too tempting to forsake. I wonder if you had a pleasant dream?”

“I did!”

“May I ask what it was about?”

Elizabeth smiled at him, not willing to disclose what she had dreamt about their future, as she knew it was not just a dream, but it would become a reality.

“I had a glimpse of our future, my dear husband, and you must be quite concerned. I foresaw how trying I shall be with my mounting irritation and fatigue, and once the baby arrives, how easily I might ignore you,” she said.

“And?”

“Well, you may be prone to spending time by yourself in the study or the library for long hours.”

“Is that so?” he asked, gently pulling her close, his hand wrapping around her waist.

“Yes, Mr. Darcy, and you may not have many mornings like this with me, for I shall be occupied with our child, and I might…” He did not allow her to finish, pressing his lips to hers with fervent passion, leaving Elizabeth utterly powerless in his embrace.

“Now look into my eyes and tell me again, do you think you have the will to ignore me after our child is born?” he asked.

“Well, maybe I don’t, but I just have one worry, though,” she said, and Darcy looked at her inquisitively.

“I just hope you will find me handsome enough to tempt you even after that,” she said seriously, making Darcy laugh.

And yes, in her heart, no matter how many words of admiration he bestowed upon her beauty, she always cherished the memory that she had been barely tolerable to him when they first met.

Elizabeth laughed along with him, recalling how ridiculous their first encounter had been and grateful for the joy and felicity they now shared in their marriage.

And she knew that it was only because of him that she had found the strength to go against what her heart once believed—that she could never love again—and to understand that true love would always find a way into her heart, no matter the obstacles.

She knew, now and forever, that the same heart which once whispered that she could not trust her own feelings was now filled with unwavering love and devotion for the man who meant the world to her.

Elizabeth understood at last that Jane’s words had proven true, for she had found a man who would go against the world for her.

Unwilling to leave the room, the couple lingered in their bed, basking in each other’s warmth and watching the morning sun brighten the horizon, filling their chamber with light reminiscent of the joy and love that would forever fill their lives.