Page 53 of To Go Against Her Heart (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

As much as her tears pained him, Darcy allowed her to weep against his chest, still unable to believe that, after months of torment, he had heard from her own lips what his heart had known all along—that she loved him.

He gently placed his hand upon her head, caressing her curls, and heard Elizabeth murmur, as her words came out in between muffled sobs.

“I am truly sorry as I never meant to wound you. Rejecting your proposal that day made me feel like a coward, and I still do. I could not come to terms with all that had transpired the previous night, and, in some way, the belief I had cherished—that my past would never cast its shadow over our future—was shattered in that moment. I know how deeply I hurt you and wonder how you still hold me in such regard,” she said at last, raising her eyes to him.

The sight of her tear-stained face tortured Darcy.

“Do you trust me when I say that your past alters nothing?” he asked. “And if, perchance, should we face any difficulty, I will stand beside you—and my aunt will do likewise.”

“I do!”

“And now, answer me, will you attend your sister’s engagement party?” he asked, quite seriously, making her laugh as she realized how effortlessly he had the ability to alter her mood.

“Yes! I will attend Jane’s engagement party,” she replied, laughing.

“Very well, then, will you stand by your sister during her wedding and stare into my eye, as uncomfortable as it would be?”

“Yes! I will. As uncomfortable as it may be, I shall promise to endure it,” she said.

“And will you marry me?” he asked.

“Of course I will,” she replied without a moment’s hesitation, only then realizing the manner in which Darcy had, once again, proposed to her, and that she had given her consent in so simple a way.

Darcy beamed at her as they looked at each other longingly.

“It is indeed so difficult to believe that I won your hand so effortlessly, Miss Elizabeth. This second time, I find myself more fortunate,” he said, drawing forth a gentle laugh from her once again.

At that moment, a sudden noise outside caused them both to start, and Elizabeth was made fully aware of the intimacy they now shared.

She quickly tried to withdraw from his embrace, and he bravely held her.

“We are engaged, madam. I wonder why you would try to run away from me again.”

“Perhaps we are, but my father may return at any moment; he knows full well that the library would be the first place in which to seek me,” she declared.

“Won’t you address me by my given name?” he asked, his eyes fixed on hers.

“It appears you have ridden here today to secure all that you desire from me, and I almost pity you, for by now you must have a complete understanding as to how difficult it is to make me yield to your requests upon the very first attempt”.

“Honestly, I am not in a hurry as I have a lifetime to accomplish what I want with you,” he said, and suddenly Elizabeth understood that within moments her life had changed and everything she was tormented with had vanished from her sight.

“Someone might find us. I...” She stopped as Darcy wiped her tears away with his handkerchief as gently as he could.

“I promise that this will be the last time I see you cry,” he said and continued, “Forgive me as I never meant to distress you in this manner, but once I became aware of what you had said about avoiding me, my anger knew no bounds, and I did not know how to make you confess your feelings to me.”

“You are permitted to be angry with me—not merely for what I arrogantly declared to Jane, but for all the words I uttered to reject you. I have loved you for so long, and the feeling has always frightened me. But today, I realized I was frightened, not by it or by you, but by the prospect of leaving behind the world I had built around myself, filled with sorrow and misery, and stepping into another with you. Honestly, I believe I feared the very notion of happiness once more.”

“You will be happy, and you deserve to be, as much as you have made me,” he said, and though it pained him to speak of Mr. Harrington, he assured her that he had encountered him once more and had taken the necessary action to forbid him to even think in her direction.

It warmed her heart to think of how he endeavored to protect her, despite her rejecting him.

“How do I explain this to Lady Matlock?” she asked with worry.

“We,” Darcy corrected, “There is no ‘I’ in this matter, Elizabeth, for whatever it is that we do, we shall do it together and honestly, I don’t even think it should matter to her, and Mr. Harrington will by no means be invited to my aunt’s or dare to step in our circles,” he said and reassured her.

They spoke for a while, and Darcy mentioned how much Georgiana missed seeing her in town.

“I knew she would as much as I did. I understand I have hurt many people by my actions: Georgiana and even Jane.”

“Your sister did well to inform me as God knows what else you would have resolved to do to avoid me,” he said with irritation.

“Are you still angry with me?”

“I wish I could be, but when you gaze into my eyes as you are doing now, there is no room for me to entertain such a thought,” he said, finally releasing her from his grasp, noticing her cheeks flushed bright red.

“I shall wish to speak with your father,” he said, and Elizabeth nodded, though a sudden doubt arose within her as to how he would react to the news. She led him to the drawing room and called for tea.

It was a struggle for them to spend the next half hour in the same room, unable to relish the closeness they had experienced just minutes ago.

“Do you intend to leave to town today?” she asked him formally.

“I do, after speaking with your father,” he replied with forced formality, seeing the worry in her countenance.

“Is something troubling you?” he asked her, and Elizabeth wanted to be honest with him.

“I know not what my father might say, though you should know he holds you in great respect; yet, this may come as a sudden revelation to him. Had I been my usual self, I might have confided in him regarding my struggles, but there has been considerable distance between us, and to be honest, I have not truly been myself—until I met you,” she said.

Before he could reply, Mr. Bennet entered, his surprise evident upon seeing Darcy.

“Mr. Darcy, how unexpected to see you! I trust you are well,” he said, his eyes traveling between him and Elizabeth, and immediately he understood that the visit was of some serious nature. Darcy wasted no time in expressing his wish to speak with Mr. Bennet in private.

Elizabeth remained in the parlor, and Mr. Bennet directed Darcy to his study, casting a doubtful look at his daughter.

He motioned for Darcy to be seated, curiously observing the proud man he once beheld sit before him with a look of apprehension.

“I am no simpleton, Mr. Darcy, and if I know my daughter at all, you are here on some matter that concerns her,” he said, much to Darcy’s surprise.

“You are quite right sir, it is and I sit before you now, asking for your consent to marry her, and she has already agreed, and in doing so, has made me a very happy man,” he said much to Mr. Bennet’s shock.

Her father finally understood what had disturbed Elizabeth since her return and the reason for her unconscious happy spirits in her letters when she wrote from town.

He quickly realized that perhaps both Darcy and Elizabeth had long struggled with their sentiments and had finally acted upon them.

“You say she accepted your proposal.”

“Yes! She most certainly did.”

“Forgive me, but as a father I must know this: are you aware that she was courted in town last year, and that experience ending in bitterness has caused her considerable torment?”

“I am, and in truth, to ease your mind, I have discussed it with her, and I have assured her that I do not care about the past, nor will I brush it aside if she feels the need for me to support her in any way required with regard to the subject.”

“I see that she has bestowed the honor of discussing her troubles with you and, as envious as I am, I am glad that she sees you as someone she can trust,” he said with evident pain in his voice, and Darcy perceived that he was ignorant of Elizabeth’s secret engagement as mentioned by Jane.

It was also plain to him that Mr. Bennet would be devastated to learn that Elizabeth had concealed it.

He understood that she must have done so only to spare him further hurt.

“Sir, I assure you it was not as simple as that; it has taken me months to earn her trust, and I am glad she has at last chosen to grant me a place in her heart and in her life. I promise to keep her safe and happy for the rest of our lives,” he said, and Mr. Bennet summoned Elizabeth before giving Darcy his consent.

Darcy met her with a look of assurance as she entered; however, Elizabeth’s features were laced with worry.

“I would be lying if I were to say that I was not surprised by Mr. Darcy’s declaration now, Lizzy.

Yet what I wish to know is whether you refused to travel to town to avoid this gentleman here.

For these past few days, I have presumed it was because you did not wish to part from me,” he said, and Elizabeth noticed a slight smile play upon his lips.

“Papa! I did not…”

“You need not explain your actions. I can see that it has not been easy for Mr. Darcy to win your affection, and all I wanted to see in your eyes is what I see now— a glimpse of your old self, with the hope I see in your eyes towards a future with a man who deserves you. I grant you both my consent, and as much as it pains me, I must deal with the torment of parting with my two favorite daughters at once,” he said, and Elizabeth immediately ran and hugged him with happiness.

To Darcy, it gave him pure joy to have her father’s consent and to see her this happy. Elizabeth finally looked up at him and smiled, and he knew that it was very important for her to have Mr. Bennet’s approval.

As much as it pained him to leave, he was eager to convey the news to Georgiana and the Matlocks.

“Would you like to return to town with me? I am certain you would like to assist your sister with shopping, and quite honestly, if Bingley agrees, we can wed the same day as your sister and him,” he asked Elizabeth, much to her surprise.

He conveyed his proposal to her father, and though Mr. Bennet greatly disliked traveling to town, he resolved to do what pleased Elizabeth, and truly did not wish to take for granted the time he had with her before she departed Longbourn as a married woman, and henceforth, agreed.

Darcy was to leave on his horse, and Elizabeth and her father were to leave for town a few hours later to stay with the Gardiners.

As difficult as it was, Darcy knew it was time to leave, and Elizabeth walked him outside.

“You surely know that I do not wish to part from you, but I can no longer keep Georgiana in the dark.”

“I feel the same about Jane, and, honestly, she would be quite shocked to see me and Papa together later,” she said. Approaching his horse, she gently petted the creature, and to Darcy’s surprise, he observed how the horse—who rarely allowed anyone such close company—seemed to enjoy her touch.

“His name is…”

“Spartan?” she asked, much to Darcy’s surprise.

“You see, Mr. Darcy, I have also been a keen observer of you ever since the evening you called me tolerable at the ball,” she said, which fetched a frown from him.

“Will you not stop bringing the subject up for the rest of our lives?” he asked with irritation.

“If you don’t bring up the numerous times I have hurt you, I shall promise I won’t. Though nothing could be compared to the vile insult you did to my vanity, calling me barely tolerable and not handsome enough to tempt you then.”

“I assure you, I shall never raise the subject again; and, if you must know, I have long found you not merely tolerable, but tempting—in ways you would do well not to enquire of until after our wedding,” he whispered in her ear, before swiftly mounting his horse and riding away, leaving Elizabeth breathless and bewildered by his boldness, ever since he had walked into Longbourn that morning.