Page 30

“I got all your favorites,” Adam said cheerfully. “Basil chicken, pad Thai with shrimp, mango salad, massaman curry.” He snapped his fingers, “Oh, and the spicy fish one we liked last time. Remember?”

“Cool,” Cole said disinterestedly as he opened the fridge. “Do you have Sprite?”

“Oh shoot,” Adam said. “I forgot to get Sprite. Sorry, buddy.”

Cole closed the fridge door with a heavy sigh. “Well, what do you have?”

“Um… I haven’t really had a chance to go grocery shopping yet.” Adam had only returned home from Nova Scotia last night.

“You can get groceries delivered, you know,” said Lucy from one of the stools at Adam’s kitchen island. “Like, everyone does that.”

“I know ,” Adam said. “And you’re right. I’ll place a grocery order later. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Lucy said, her gaze fixed on her phone. “I’m not hungry anyway.”

“But I have all this Thai food…” Adam gestured to the two large paper bags that had been delivered minutes before his kids had arrived.

“I don’t really feel like Thai food,” Lucy said.

“Me neither,” said Cole. “Can we get a pizza?”

Adam knew his kids didn’t behave like this with Maggie, and he knew they hadn’t behaved like this before the divorce. This was punishment. “Come on,” he said with a forced smile, “I’m not ordering a pizza. I got Thai food because I know you guys like it.”

“You could have asked us what we wanted before you decided for us,” Lucy said.

Adam’s heart sank. “I wanted to surprise you.”

Lucy didn’t reply. Cole grumbled, “I wish you’d surprised us with pizza.”

Adam couldn’t fake the smile anymore. “I’m sorry about the food, but can’t we have a nice meal together anyway? I haven’t seen you guys for a while.”

Neither kid replied.

“Are you seriously mad at me because I went away for, like, a week? I was at a funeral.”

“You were away for a week?” Cole asked.

Lucy laughed, though it may have been at something on her phone.

“Yes,” Adam said. “Didn’t you get all my texts from Nova Scotia?”

“Oh yeah,” said Cole.

“Who died?” Lucy asked, and because it was an actual question that showed some interest in Adam’s life, he answered enthusiastically.

“A man named Harvey Tuck. He was my friend’s dad, and he was a really great person. You probably don’t remember Riley Tuck, my old teammate? He used to play with you when you were little.”

“No,” said Cole.

“Weird,” said Lucy.

“Anyway, Harv was a pretty important guy in Avery River. Everyone loved him there.”

“Wherever that is,” Cole said.

“Nova Scotia! I told you.”

Cole opened the fridge again. “Do you have iced tea?”

“No, I don’t.”

Cole closed the fridge. “God, this place sucks.”

All right. That was enough. “What is your problem? Both of you.”

Lucy put her phone down. “I don’t know. Just…why do we still have to come here?”

Adam gaped for a moment, then said, “Because I’m still your dad?”

“Yeah, but coming here is weird and sad.”

Adam looked to Cole for support, but Cole only nodded in agreement with his sister.

“You don’t want to see me?” Adam asked as evenly as possible.

“We can see you, but why do we need to sleep over here? All our stuff is at our house. Our friends come over to our house.”

“Your friends could come over here,” Adam argued.

“Uh, no,” Cole said.

“What would they even do here?” Lucy asked.

“They could eat Thai food,” Adam said, almost through gritted teeth. “Watch TV?”

“Oh my god, Dad,” Cole moaned.

“I have a pool! You could swim here with your friends in the summer.”

“We have a pool at home too.”

“And Sprite,” Cole added.

“Would you stop saying ‘home’ as if this house isn’t your home too? I’m your dad .”

“This house doesn’t even have, like, decorations,” Lucy said. “It’s depressing.”

“It has some,” Adam argued weakly.

“Dad,” Lucy said, her tone softening as if she was talking to a small child, “we love you and everything, but we don’t need to have sleepovers with you anymore. We’re just, like, too old for that.”

Adam wanted to snap back that these weren’t “sleepovers,” this was a shared custody arrangement, and they were supposed to live with him for something close to half the time. But the kids had been less and less interested in spending time with Adam as they’d gotten older, and he hadn’t fought them or Maggie on it. But he wanted to have them here sometimes .

“I miss you guys, though,” Adam tried.

“But couldn’t we just come over for dinner or whatever and then go home? Like, we can walk there from here.”

“You’re not walking anywhere at night.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Dad, we do it all the time.”

Adam didn’t like hearing that . “What? Where? Alone?”

“With friends, or whatever. Anyway, can we just eat the food?”

“You’re not leaving after you eat.”

“But—”

“No. I’m sorry, but you’re stuck with me tonight. I planned this with your mom, and—”

“Great,” Cole grumbled.

“So Mom doesn’t want us to come home?” Lucy asked angrily.

Oh god. Adam had no idea what to say here. “Of course she wants you at home. She might have plans tonight, though.”

“So?” Cole said. “We stay home alone all the time.”

“Maybe she wants the house to herself,” Adam blurted out without thinking.

“Oh,” Lucy said. “Gross.”

“What?” Cole asked.

“Nothing,” said Adam.

“She’s having a romantic evening with Ethan ,” Lucy said.

Cole wrinkled his nose.

“I thought you guys liked Ethan,” Adam said. “I like Ethan.”

“Sorry. Mom saw him first,” Lucy said dryly.

Adam let out a surprised laugh. “Was that a joke?”

Lucy shrugged.

“For the record, I’m not into Ethan.”

“If you say so.” She smiled, and it was the first warm expression Adam had seen on her face since she’d arrived.

He smiled back and said, “Shut up.”

They both laughed, and it felt like dark clouds disappearing. Adam began to open the bags of Thai food and set the containers out on the island. Cole got plates from the cupboard without being asked, and then forks.

“Are you into anyone ?” Lucy asked casually a few minutes later.

Adam swallowed his mouthful of pad Thai and said, “What do you mean?”

“Like, are you dating or anything?”

He knew he was blushing and hoped it wasn’t obvious. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Lucy’s eyes lit up. “Are you?”

“Ugh. Yuck,” Cole groaned, then quickly said, “That’s not because you’re gay. It’s because you’re my dad.”

“Noted,” Adam said. “And, yeah, we don’t have to talk about this.”

“But I want to,” Lucy insisted. “Do you have a boyfriend? You can tell us you know.”

“Thank you,” Adam said sincerely, “but I’m not really—I mean, I don’t know if ‘boyfriend’ is the right word…” He realized too late that this sounded like he was telling his teenage kids that he had a fuck buddy. “We’re taking it slow,” he amended. “It’s a long-distance kind of thing. Someone I reunited with recently.”

“I wonder where he lives,” Cole said sarcastically.

Adam pointed his fork at him. “Listen.” And when he couldn’t think of any way to finish that sentence, he said, “All right. Yes. He’s in Nova Scotia.”

“Dad,” Lucy said. “It’s obviously that Ryan guy.”

“Riley,” Adam corrected her, then cringed at himself. “Not that—okay. Yes.”

“Aw, you’re dating your old teammate,” Lucy cooed. “That’s cute. Love that for you.”

“Again, I don’t know that we’re ‘dating’ exactly. But I really like him.”

“Are you going to move to Nova Scotia?” Cole asked.

“The other guy could move here,” Lucy pointed out. “He’d probably move here, right?”

“Why would he move here?”

“Uh, because it’s Toronto and you’re rich? Is there even anything to do in…whatever his town is called?”

“Avery River. And yes, there’s lots to do. There are beaches, and there’s a farmers market. Riley does a lot of gardening. Um…”

Both kids stared blankly at him.

“It’s really beautiful there!” Adam insisted. “I’ll take you there sometime. You’ll see.”

“No offense, Dad, but I can think of like a million places I’d rather go,” said Cole.

“I want to go to Costa Rica,” said Lucy.

“Ethan said he’d take me to New York,” said Cole.

“ I’ve taken you to New York!”

“Yeah, but we didn’t go to the Nintendo store,” said Cole. “Ethan’s a gamer too.”

Adam sighed. Was there even anything at the Nintendo store that Cole didn’t own already? “We can go on a trip somewhere if you want. I’d love to do that. Really.”

“When?” Lucy asked. “We’re going to France with Mom and Ethan this summer.”

“I know . And I probably can’t travel this summer anyway. I’ll need a few weeks to heal after my surgery.”

“When’s that?” Lucy asked.

“July seventh. Got the date today, actually.”

“That’s when we’re in France.”

“Well. That’s okay.”

“But won’t you need help?” Lucy said.

“I’m sure I’ll manage. I’ve got friends who will help out.”

“What about Riley? Can he help?”

“Oh, well. Probably not. He runs a store, so he’s pretty busy. And I don’t think he’s a fan of Toronto, really. And summers are so gross here.”

Lucy scoffed.

“What?” Adam asked.

“He sounds like a shit boyfriend. He won’t look after you after surgery?”

“He’s not my boyfriend. And I haven’t asked him to look after me. And I don’t need someone to look after me.”

“You do, though,” Lucy said. “You’ve been, like, really depressing since the divorce.”

“I have not.”

Lucy’s tone turned more serious. “Yeah, you have. You were always busy when you played hockey, but now you’re just, like, this bored, lonely guy.”

“I’m—maybe a little.”

“You need a boyfriend,” she concluded. “And a hobby.”

Adam considered this and realized he didn’t have a single hobby. “Well. Maybe I’ll take up…model trains?”

Cole laughed. “I can’t believe anyone thinks you’re cool.”

“I’m very cool. And, fine. You suggest a hobby then.”

“MMOs,” Cole said without hesitating.

“M M whats?”

“It’s a video game thing,” Lucy sighed.

“Oh. No thanks.”

“You might like it,” Cole argued. “It’s like being captain of a hockey team except it’s, like, a whole army. Well, depending on the game.”

“You could garden ,” Lucy said in a singsong voice. “Like your boyfriend .”

Adam blushed again. “I regret telling you anything.”

“I’m glad you told us,” Lucy said. “We’re all worried about you.”

“Worried about me? And who’s ‘we’re all’?”

“Us. Mom. Ethan.”

“I’m sure Ethan isn’t losing any sleep over my love life.” God, were they really all talking about him over at Maggie’s house?

“Ethan said that change can be hard,” Cole said.

“Very insightful of him,” Adam muttered. He liked Ethan, really, but he didn’t like Ethan weaving theories about Adam’s happiness. Or lack thereof.

“Why do you even live here? Isn’t it super boring?” Lucy asked.

“I want to be close to you. And your school.”

“But you don’t need to be.”

“It would be cooler to visit you if you lived downtown,” Cole said.

“Yeah!” Lucy said excitedly. “Oh my god, if you had a penthouse downtown, that would rule.”

“I’m not buying a penthouse in Toronto! I’m a hockey player, not a baseball player.”

“Well, it could just be a regular apartment. But a cool one.”

“You guys would be okay with living with me sometimes if I had a cool apartment then?” Adam asked flatly.

“Yup,” Cole said at the same time Lucy said, “Totally.” Then they both laughed, so Adam laughed too.

Later, they watched a movie together and Adam thought seriously about selling the house. Maybe the kids were right: maybe they’d all be happier if he lived somewhere more exciting. In this neighborhood he was basically providing a weird satellite version of Maggie’s house, and of course the kids didn’t like living here. Adam didn’t like living here.

But the only place Adam wanted to live right now was a cranberry-colored house by the sea, and that wasn’t going to happen. Not soon, anyway.

He texted Riley : Lucy and Cole think I’m uncool and depressing.

A minute later, Riley wrote: You’re not depressing with a winky face emoji.

Adam laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Cole asked. Adam glanced at the screen and saw that a child actor was crying. So he couldn’t use the movie as an excuse.

“He’s texting his boyfriend,” Lucy said with a smile.

“Ugh,” said Cole.

Adam wrote: The kids are roasting me because they think I’m texting my boyfriend. Then he erased it, because he didn’t want Riley to know he’d told his kids about him. And also because he was scared that Riley would deny it in some way. Laugh it off as ridiculous.

But as far as Adam was concerned, he was texting his boyfriend.