Page 26

Riley woke the next morning with Adam Sheppard in his arms.

He’d thought, as he’d drifted off to sleep last night, that he may feel overwhelmed in this moment. Maybe he’d even start panicking or spiraling or be taken on some other involuntary emotional adventure. He’d never been good at navigating highs or lows.

Instead, with his body curled around Adam’s, his arm draped across Adam’s chest, both men completely naked, Riley only felt wonderfully, uncomplicatedly calm.

Adam was lying on his good shoulder, his back to Riley. The bad shoulder was close to Riley’s lips, so he kissed it, very gently. Last night had been perfect in so many ways. He’d loved introducing Adam to his friends, and he’d loved Adam being brave enough to come out to a room full of near strangers simply because they were people who were important to Riley.

And later, at home, dancing with Adam in his living room, holding him, kissing him. Then taking him to bed for sex that was, yes, not unlike the frantic rutting against each other that they used to rely on, but had also been so different from anything they’d done before. For the first time, there had been no signs of panic from Adam. They’d been able to take their time, to check in, and to enjoy the afterglow.

And now Adam was still here. Riley wanted to stay in bed all morning, but Lucky was pacing around downstairs and needed to be let outside. With a sigh and a final kiss to Adam’s shoulder, Riley dragged himself out of bed.

Outside, he whistled the Emmylou Harris song he had danced to with Adam. He smiled at the hyacinths beside his deck that were just about to bloom. He smiled at the sunny sky. He smiled at Lucky inspecting the yard. He smiled while he cleaned up after Lucky. A few days ago he’d thought he would never smile again, and now he couldn’t stop. He knew it was temporary, but it felt so fucking good to be happy. Just like it had felt so fucking good to have Adam’s hands on him, to kiss him, to lose himself in the rush of sex. He wanted to do it again.

Back inside, he gave Lucky his food, then hurried back upstairs. Adam was sitting up in bed, hair disheveled.

“Hi,” Adam said. He blinked, and for a moment he looked confused. “I thought you’d left.”

“I was just letting Lucky out. I’m back now.” Riley climbed back on the bed and leaned into Adam. The bedsheet slipped, revealing Adam’s erection. “That for me?” Riley asked, then kissed Adam as best he could. He really couldn’t stop smiling.

“Riles, wait.”

Riley’s stomach dropped. This was it. This was when Adam would get weird about what they’d done. The thought hit him so forcefully, Riley almost scrambled off the bed and out of the room. Everything he’d been so happy about a moment ago crumbled apart.

Then Adam smiled. “Sorry. I just really need to pee.”

“Oh,” Riley said. Then, “Oh.” He rolled off Adam, but still felt gripped by anxiety. Even as Adam kissed his cheek before leaving the bed, naked. Even as Adam gave his ass a playful wiggle before he left the room.

Riley exhaled into the empty room. Things were going to be okay. Adam was still here, and he still wanted Riley.

He’d settled himself by the time Adam returned. Now Riley could fully appreciate how stunning Adam looked, naked in the morning sunshine.

“I feel like either I should put clothes on, or you should take clothes off,” Adam said. He stood beside the bed, hands on his hips, and his cock mostly soft now.

Riley removed the sweats he’d pulled on to go outside. “Better?”

“Unless you want to put that hot little silk robe on again.”

“You liked that, did you?” Riley had never known Adam to wear anything but drab, conservative colors. He wondered if his clothing choices had been motivated by fear too. Maybe Adam secretly wanted to drape himself in splashy flowers and jewel tones.

“Mm.” Adam planted one knee on the bed, then leaned in to kiss him. “I like you in anything.”

Riley was so relieved by the kiss that he let out a deranged-sounding giggle. Adam pulled back. “You all right?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m good. I’m just… I don’t know. Never mind.” He tried to kiss Adam again, but Adam pulled back farther.

Riley closed his eyes, but opened them again when Adam placed a hand on the side of his face. “Hey,” Adam said gently.

Riley blinked and swallowed. He was pretty sure he was trembling. Fuck, he wished he could process a single emotion without feeling like he was going to explode.

“I wish I didn’t have to go to work today.” It was the easiest thought he could share. Easier than “I don’t want you to leave,” or, “Does this end after you leave?”

“I wish you didn’t either,” Adam said with a sympathetic smile. “It’s okay, though. We have tonight. And…”

“And…” Riley smiled as Adam leaned in.

“We have right now,” Adam said, then captured Riley’s lips.

Riley fell back on the bed and pulled Adam on top of him. Adam laughed against his mouth, then kept kissing him. His lips were soft and he tasted like mouthwash. Riley’s brain, never one to just enjoy a moment, tried to compare the way Adam kissed now to how he’d kissed then . In their twenties, Adam’s kisses had always felt tinged with something: fear, or anger, or shame. But there’d also always been a hunger to them, something wild and desperate that Riley had fucking loved.

The way Adam was kissing him now—when both of their smiles were contained enough to actually kiss—was different. There was no fear, or anger, or shame. There was hunger, but it didn’t feel like desperation. It felt like reverence.

Adam let out a grunt that didn’t sound like pleasure. Carefully, Riley rolled them so Adam was on his back. Then he wedged a pillow under Adam’s left shoulder.

“Good?” Riley asked.

“Yeah. Thanks. Come here.”

Riley kissed him, taking control. They were both hard, but Riley was in no hurry as he explored Adam’s mouth. Their hands were clasped together, next to Adam’s head, and Riley used his other arm to prop himself up. Adam’s left hand caressed Riley’s lower back, making Riley’s blood sing. He moaned as Adam kissed his neck, loving that Adam remembered how much Riley loved that.

Adam moaned too, and Riley realized Adam was thrusting against him. Riley raised his hips, just out of reach. “Be patient,” he scolded.

“Why?”

“Because I want you to be patient.”

Adam’s eyes widened, and for a moment he stared at Riley, lips parted. Then he said, “Fuck, that’s really hot.”

Slowly, Riley lowered his hips until their cocks were touching again. “Are you going to behave?”

Adam smiled. “Is this what you’re like in bed now? Bossy? I’m really into it.”

Riley brushed his lips against Adam’s ear. “You have no idea how much I wanted to boss you around in bed before.”

Adam gasped, then said, “I’m an idiot.”

Riley kissed behind his ear, then down the side of his neck, loving how Adam squirmed underneath him. He’d always been different with Adam than he’d been with other lovers. Timid, or maybe too overcome with gratitude whenever they’d had sex to push things. He did like being bossy in bed, though, and it was good to know that Adam might be into it.

He raised his head so he could admire Adam’s face for a bit. “God, you’re pretty,” he murmured as he stroked Adam’s lips with his thumb.

On the third pass, Adam captured his thumb in his mouth, and sucked.

“Mm,” Riley rumbled. “Yeah. All right.”

He dragged his wet thumb over Adam’s chin, then began to kiss a trail down to his stomach.

Adam let out a shaky “Oh,” when Riley kissed below his belly button.

“Yeah?” Riley asked.

“Yes,” Adam said on exhale.

Riley gave the head of his cock a tender little kiss, greeting it like an old friend. “I always wanted to have you in the morning like this, Adam.”

“You have me.” Adam writhed as Riley licked at his leaking slit. “You have me, Riles.”

They both groaned when Riley took him into his mouth. Riley went slow, at first, simply because he could. He let all of his senses fill with Adam.

It didn’t take long, once Riley really got going, to get Adam close to the edge. When Adam was reduced to whimpers and free-form profanity, Riley pulled off.

Adam groaned in frustration, which made Riley laugh. “You want me to finish you off, then?”

“Yes. No. Fuck, I don’t know. Yes.”

Riley kissed his stomach. “Pick one.”

“I can’t.”

Riley raised his head and held Adam’s gaze. Adam looked dazed, his eyes soft and so fucking pretty. Riley kissed him, slow and commanding, because, yeah, he was fucking bossy in bed. He kissed him and kissed him, and only when Adam starting whimpering did Riley begin a slow grind of his hips. He kept a steady, controlled pace, knowing it was making Adam lose his mind.

“Riles,” Adam panted. “Please. Fuck. I need it.”

“Oh, did you make a decision?”

“I—ah fuck—yes—”

“You want my mouth?” Riley’s voice was shaky. He hadn’t even realized he’d lost control of his slow, even thrusts. He was jerking his hips quickly, gliding his cock against Adam’s and against Adam’s stomach.

“Yeah…no. Fuck. No, it’s too late. Keep going. I’m so close.”

Riley went faster, shocked by how close his own release suddenly was. “Yeah. Fuck, Adam.”

Adam shuddered beneath him, then came against Riley’s stomach. Adam grabbed his face, surged up, and kissed him hard, and Riley moaned into his mouth.

“Fuck,” Adam panted. “Let me.” He pushed him to his back, then went to his knees between Riley’s spread thighs.

Riley took a couple of deep breaths, trying to pull himself back from the brink so he could enjoy this. Adam gazed up at the ceiling, then said, bizarrely, “This is a really nice room. I like the ceiling beams. And did you build the headboard?”

Riley huffed out a surprised laugh. “Are you serious right now?”

Adam smiled, then dipped his head low to kiss along Riley’s shaft. Riley was already trembling by the time he began sucking him. Adam still wasn’t the most skilled cocksucker in the world, but he didn’t need to be. Not for Riley.

Fuck, did Adam really need to leave tomorrow? Could they spend every minute until then in this bed?

Adam found a rhythm that was absolutely working for Riley, and after a few short minutes he had to issue a warning. “Adam,” he gritted out, his cock already swelling. “Now. Fuck.”

His orgasm ripped through him, and Adam surprised him by staying on him, swallowing, and then sputtering, and then taking the last of it across his chin. It made Riley laugh, even as his body was still rocking with pleasure.

When it was over, Adam flopped on his back and wiped a hand over his mouth. “You sound the same,” he said hoarsely.

Riley was still trying to catch his breath. “Yeah?”

“I’m still bad at swallowing, by the way.”

That made Riley crack up, which made Adam crack up. When they finally calmed down, Riley said, “So you were asking about the headboard.”

That set them off again. By the time they’d stopped laughing, they were both on their backs, boneless and breathing heavily.

“That was nice,” Adam said.

Riley smiled at the ceiling. “It was.”

Adam searched blindly for Riley’s hand, found it, and held it. “I wanted that too, by the way. All of it. The morning sex, sleeping together, taking our time. I wanted it so much.”

Riley turned his head and looked at him, surprised. A jumble of emotions surged inside him, but the one that was in the lead was sympathy. He felt sorry for the scared young man Adam had been.

He squeezed Adam’s hand. “Good to know.”

Adam smiled, a bit sadly. “You would have been such a good boyfriend.”

“I don’t know. I was kind of a mess back then.” He rolled his eyes. “Not like now.”

Adam brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed Riley’s knuckles. “We’re all messes, Riles.”

They showered together and kissed nearly the entire time. Then Riley made breakfast, and they kissed during most of that too. They kissed again for a long time when Riley was leaving the house, Lucky pacing impatiently outside.

“What do you have planned for today?” Riley asked, then kissed Adam’s jaw.

“I’m helping Cathy set up for the banquet, but first I have some farewells to make.”

Riley huffed. “Paula’s?”

“Obviously.”

Riley kissed him, then said, “If you need any sporting goods…”

Adam laughed. “You just want a cinnamon bun.”

“I want to kiss you when you taste like cinnamon.”

Lucky barked as if he was reminding Riley that they had somewhere to be.

“In a minute,” Riley barked back. Then, to Adam, he said, “I’m going to leave now.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah.”

And then he was kissing Adam against the doorframe, pressing their bodies together, wanting to dive inside of him and never think about anything else.

With an enormous amount of effort, Riley broke the kiss and staggered back a couple of steps. “Jesus,” he said as he ran a hand though his own hair. “Okay. I’m going. I have to.”

Adam nodded, his lips dark and wet, his hair a mess. He looked dazed and debauched and, god. How was Riley supposed to walk away from this?

He did, adjusting himself in his pants as he exited the house.

“I’ll see you later,” Adam called after him.

Riley waved as he got into his truck. Adam smiled at him from the front porch the entire time Riley backed out of the driveway. When he was on the road, and couldn’t see Adam anymore, Riley exhaled and told Lucky, “It’s going to hurt like hell when he leaves.”