Page 23

Story: The Shots You Take

“I hear the hockey banquet has a celebrity host,” Mom said as she greeted Riley and Adam with hugs.

“Well,” Adam said, “they have me. I hope I don’t embarrass myself too much.”

Riley scoffed. He knew Adam could quack like a duck for the entire banquet and everyone who went would still say it was the most exciting night of their life. He still couldn’t believe Adam was actually going through with it.

“I’m not sure what you’re thinking,” Riley said, “but it’s not a glamorous event.”

“I’ll cancel my tux fitting then,” Adam said with a wink.

Damn Adam and his winks. He could wield those things like a sexy weapon. They always sliced right through Riley.

“Are you going to be there?” Adam asked Mom.

“Yes, of course. I always went with Harv, and I’m sure he’ll be in the room tomorrow night too.”

Riley smiled at that. Dad would tell God he couldn’t miss the banquet. Then he imagined Dad’s ghost benevolently haunting the rink and wondered if Dad wouldn’t prefer that to Heaven.

“I’m sure he will be,” Adam agreed, then he laughed. “Now the pressure is really on, if he’s going to be watching.”

Mom patted his arm. “He would be so happy you’re here.” She looked at Riley. “Have you boys been having a nice few days?”

“Uh, yeah,” Riley said awkwardly. “Pretty good.” He thought of one detail that would interest her. “Shep made fish chowder yesterday.”

Mom looked delighted. “Go on! You did not.”

“I did,” Adam said proudly. “It was edible and everything.”

“How’d you thicken it?”

“Crackers,” Riley and Adam said at the same time.

“Good boy. I like a man who can cook. Don’t you, Riley?”

Riley blushed as he remembered how smitten he’d been by the sight of an apron-clad Adam stirring soup in his kitchen. “Sure.”

“Where’s Lindsay?” Adam asked.

“Watching the eggs,” Lindsay called from the kitchen. “Get in here and help, Riley.”

As they went to the kitchen, Adam put his lips close to Riley’s ear and said, “Before we leave, can you show me around the house again? I always loved this place.”

Riley’s heart skipped. “Okay.”

“My god, is that the actual host of the Avery River Minor Hockey End of Season Banquet?” Lindsay teased as they entered the kitchen.

“The one and only,” Adam said.

Lucky, of course, was already in the kitchen because he loved both Lindsay and food. He was sitting at Lindsay’s feet, gazing mournfully at her as she stirred the eggs.

“I’m sorry I’ll be missing it,” Lindsay said, “but I have clients and, you know. Kids.”

“I understand. I’m leaving on Tuesday because I have appointments and kids.”

“Aw, are you?” Lindsay shot Riley a sympathetic look. “That’s too bad.”

Riley narrowed his eyes at her and said, “He can hardly stay here forever.”

Adam, to his surprise, looked a little wounded by this.

“All right,” Lindsay said, “these eggs are done. Let’s eat.”

Within minutes the table was loaded with scrambled eggs, bacon, ham, toast, baked beans (“Patty dropped those off”), coffee, and orange juice. Adam looked deliriously happy.

“Riley took me to the farmers market yesterday,” he said. “It might be my new favorite place.”

“He bought all the cookies,” Riley said.

“Not all of them. And I met some of Riley’s friends. Do you know Bea? She makes honey!”

“Bea is lovely,” Mom said. “Nell too.”

“I don’t think I know them,” Lindsay said.

“They’re a little older than me,” Riley said. “But they’re great.”

“Do you know Darren?” Adam asked Lindsay. “I met him too.”

“Oh, I know Darren,” Lindsay said with a smile. “Did he flirt with you?”

“I don’t think so,” Adam said with a nervous laugh. “Isn’t he married? We’re going to their house tonight.”

“Are you?” Lindsay asked with interest. She locked eyes with Riley. “Just the two of you going?”

“There are a few people. It’s a dinner party, or whatever,” Riley said.

“Couples, mostly?”

“I guess.”

Lindsay smiled, then took a triumphant bite of toast.

Since everyone at the table, excluding Riley, was naturally chatty, the rest of the meal passed with a lot of upbeat conversation and gentle teasing. Riley quietly enjoyed it, loving how normal it felt. Not that having Adam at his parents’ kitchen table was normal, but it still felt like a Tuck family meal.

He also quietly enjoyed how handsome Adam looked, especially when he smiled. Riley was obsessed with the creases that appeared beside his sparkling eyes now when he laughed. He’d been admiring them on the beach too, when Adam had been flushed and sweaty from the run. Well, he’d been admiring most of Adam on the beach.

He was undeniably attracted to Adam, but he still wasn’t sure if anything beyond simple friendship was a good idea for them. But he also wasn’t sure if it mattered what he thought about that, because his idiot heart didn’t seem to care if falling for Adam all over again was a bad idea.

“There’s more bacon, Adam,” Mom said as she held out a small blob of scrambled egg to Lucky.

“Oh, I couldn’t,” Adam said, then eyed the platter that still had at least ten strips of bacon left on it. “Well. Maybe.”

Riley bit the inside of his cheek as he watched Adam happily transfer three strips to his empty plate. He wondered if there was any chance that, this time, falling for Adam might not be a terrible idea.

“Well,” Lindsay said as she pushed her chair back. “I should hit the road.”

Riley couldn’t blame his sister for being eager to leave, but he’d miss having her around. “You planning on coming back anytime soon?”

“I’m sure I will, but you could always visit me in Halifax, you know.”

“I will,” Riley said, feeling guilty. The last time he’d gone to Halifax he hadn’t told her he was in town because he’d been there for purely selfish, single-minded reasons related to having as much sex as possible in a three-day window.

“I’ll clean up,” Adam offered, already gathering plates from the table. “You three can say goodbye. It was nice seeing you again, Lindsay.”

“What a gentleman,” Mom gushed. She looked at Riley when she said, “An absolute sweetheart.”

He tried to look annoyed, but he knew the color of his cheeks was telling.

Later, the three surviving Tucks gathered next to Dad’s truck. Riley couldn’t believe it would be the last time he’d see it.

“Is there enough gas in it?” he asked stupidly, stalling for time.

“If there isn’t, I know where I can get more,” Lindsay said.

He nodded. “You gonna be okay? Driving.”

“I will. Are you going to be okay?”

Riley could only shrug, his throat already growing tight.

Lindsay threw her arms around him. “I love you. Mom loves you. And I think Adam might have some warm feelings about you.”

“Stop.”

“Or maybe he looks at all his former teammates that way.”

“You’re imagining things.”

“Oh, she is not,” Mom said. “Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.”

“Okay, Dad.”

They all laughed at that, though it was followed by a heavy silence. Mom and Lindsay had always used humor to defuse big emotions. Dad had always expressed them openly and easily, without shame. Riley simply couldn’t deal with them at all.

Lindsay hugged Mom. “You know I’ll be back here in a minute if you need me, okay?”

“Two hours, more like,” Mom teased. “But I know. Thank you, sweetie.”

“You too, big brother. Call me anytime.”

Riley wrapped his arms around her. “I will. Love you, Linds.”

“Love you too. Don’t make me cry. I have to drive.”

As they watched her drive away, Riley said, “You want us to stay awhile?”

“No, no. Adam’s only in town for a couple more days. Enjoy him.”

Riley’s heart raced at the first way he interpreted her words. “You could stay at my place tonight, or I could stay here.” It would be her first night alone.

She squeezed his arm. “Don’t worry about me. Ruth is coming by with dinner, and tomorrow some of the girls are coming to the house. I don’t think I’ll be lonely much.”

“But if you ever are, call me, okay? Or come to my house, or the shop. Don’t be alone.”

“I could give you the same advice.”

“I’m not alone. I have a guest.” Riley gestured to the house, where Adam was washing dishes. “And when he’s gone, I’ve got Lucky. Maybe you should get a dog. That would be nice, right?”

“We’ll see. That could be a good idea.”

They went back inside, and Riley helped Adam finish the dishes.

“You okay?” Adam asked.

“I’m okay,” Riley assured him, because in that moment, he was. Maybe later he’d feel like crying again, but for now he was good.

He put away the last of the dishes, then he and Adam went to the living room, where Mom was tidying while Lucky supervised.

“Do you mind if I show Adam around the house a bit?” Riley asked.

“Of course I don’t mind. He’s always been welcome here.” She straightened a throw pillow on the sofa, and Riley was hit by the memory of making out with Adam on that same sofa, nearly eighteen years ago.

He glanced at Adam to see if he might be having similar thoughts, but Adam was inspecting a cluster of framed photos on the wall over the fireplace. One was of Adam handing Riley the Stanley Cup, both men looking young and jubilant and sweaty. They were both in profile, smiling at each other like nothing bad had ever happened to them, or ever would.

“I don’t think I’ve seen this photo before,” Adam said.

“Harv ordered prints of a whole pile of photos from that night. I can’t remember which photographer it was who took that one.”

“It’s a good one,” Adam said quietly.

Riley had always hated having to look at that photo when he visited his parents, but Dad had loved it, so he’d never said anything. He wasn’t sorry it was here now, though.

“We were so proud that night,” Mom said. “I mean, it was enough of a thrill for Harv that Toronto had finally won the Cup, but for his own son to be on the team. Well, it was really special.”

“It was,” Adam agreed. “I’m glad we were able to win it for him.”

A few minutes later, Riley led Adam up the creaky stairs to the second floor, and then into his childhood bedroom. It was still full of Riley’s old hockey trophies and medals, and a poster of the Stanley Cup was still tacked to the wall. His old twin bed with the blue-and-green quilt his grandmother had made was against the same wall it had always been against.

Adam had sucked Riley off for the first time on that bed. They’d had the house to themselves for a short window and had been making out when Adam had shocked him by taking two of Riley’s fingers into his mouth and sucking them. Riley hadn’t dared to hope for more, but then Adam had released his fingers and said, “I want to blow you. I want to try.”

And he had. On his knees in Riley’s childhood bedroom while Riley sat on the bed. Objectively, it had probably been a terrible blow job, but Riley had only lasted about a minute anyway.

Adam sat on the edge of that bed now, legs spread, and Riley had to look away.

“Looks the same,” Adam said.

“I don’t spend much time here.”

“I have good memories of this room.”

Riley wondered if he was talking about the blow job—or the other furtive sexual experiences they’d enjoyed in here—or if he meant the more innocent nights when they’d talked and laughed in the dark, Riley on his bed and Adam on an air mattress on the floor. Riley had always offered to take the floor, but Adam always refused. What Riley had really wanted to offer was to share the bed, even though it would have been uncomfortably small.

“Me too,” Riley said, which made Adam smile. Which made the eye creases appear. Which made Riley’s heart bounce. He sat beside Adam, and the ancient bed creaked ominously. “I loved those summers.”

“They were the best. Does your family still have the boat?”

“I bought Dad a newer one a few years ago. I guess maybe it’s mine now.”

“Maybe next time I’m here you can take me for a spin,” Adam said as he bumped his shoulder against Riley’s.

Riley smiled, picturing it. “Maybe I will.”

* * *

That afternoon, Riley showed Adam his greenhouse.

“This is amazing! You grew all this? From seeds?”

“Mostly, yeah.”

“What’s this one?” Adam leaned down and sniffed one of the larger herb plants that Riley had managed to keep alive through the winter.

“Sage,” Riley said. “And those ones are basil.”

“And you’ll plant these outside?”

“I keep those ones potted so I can move them easily, but most of the stuff in here will get planted.”

“What are those?” Adam asked. “Another herb?”

“Bell peppers.”

“Shit, really? Green, or red?”

“Well,” Riley said, “green peppers are usually just underripe red peppers.”

Adam’s eyes went wide like Riley had just proved god was real. “Are you serious? Is that why green peppers taste like garbage?”

“They have their uses.”

“If you say so. Hey, tell me what everything is. I want the full tour.”

So Riley gave him the tour, happily explaining which plants would yield fruit this year, and which would take at least another year or two. He explained which ones needed lots of sun, which needed shade, which ones might keep deer away, and which ones he was trying to grow for the first time.

“You have deer?” Adam asked, immediately turning his gaze to the yard outside, searching.

“Unfortunately,” Riley grumbled, then amended, “They’re nice, they just eat everything.”

“Still,” Adam said with a note of wonder, like deer were unicorns.

They left the greenhouse, joining Lucky in the yard. Riley showed Adam the rhubarb growing in one corner of the yard, and the small lavender patch, still dormant from the winter.

“You know how amazing this is, right?” Adam asked.

“It’s just a garden.”

“Yeah, but you made it. You did all this work, and it’ll turn into something beautiful and useful. That’s inspiring, Riley.”

Riley really, really wanted to kiss him. Instead he said, “It’s just a hobby.”

“Well, it’s a good one.” Adam gazed at the ocean. “Man, this place is beautiful.”

“I like it.”

Over by the trees that lined one side of the yard, Lucky started barking.

“What’s his problem?” Adam asked.

“Probably saw a rabbit.”

“You have rabbits ?”

“Calm down. Those fuckers eat everything too.”

Adam laughed. “I love how you traded Kevin Kroeker for rabbits. Your new nemesis.”

“Oh fuck Kevin Kroeker,” Riley said, with feeling. “Is he still alive? No one killed him?”

“He’s alive.”

“Only because I retired early.”

Adam was beautiful when he laughed, especially now, in the sunshine, in Riley’s garden. “Well,” Adam said, “wherever that asshole is, I doubt he’s got a view like this.”

Riley’s gaze stayed on Adam’s face. “Probably not.”