Page 28

“Am I a bear?” Adam asked out of nowhere as they drove home after the banquet.

Riley glanced over from the driver’s seat, then back at the road. “No.”

“Oh. Are you a bear?”

“I wouldn’t say so, no.”

“You have a beard.”

“I think it takes more than that.”

Adam was silent a moment, then said, “Tom is a bear, right? Darren’s husband?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, yeah. That makes sense.”

“Why are you interested in bears all of a sudden?”

“I’m not. I just find so many things confusing. What would you say I am then?”

“An idiot,” Riley said fondly.

“Come on.”

“Do you want to know which theme nights to go to when you’re back in Toronto or something?”

“Sure, okay. Which ones should I go to?”

“Whichever ones you want. Depends on what you’re into, and how you self-identify.”

Adam was quiet another moment, then said, “Which ones do you go to?”

“I rarely get the chance. I went to a cowboy-themed night once in Montreal, and I’ve been to a few jock nights.”

“Is that jock as in…”

“Both. Sporty dudes and dudes wearing jocks. Mostly sporty dudes wearing jocks.”

“Did you wear a jock?”

Riley smiled at the windshield. “Maybe.”

“Fuck,” Adam muttered. “Wish I’d seen that.”

“I was wearing pants over it. I’m not that bold.”

“Still…”

Riley slowed the truck and pulled into his driveway.

“Do you still own a jock?” Adam asked as he exited the truck.

“Maybe,” Riley said again, then closed the driver side door behind him. The noise echoed in the quiet night.

“I haven’t actually been to a gay bar yet,” Adam said.

“No?”

“I almost went once. A few months ago—holy shit. Look at the stars.”

The night was chilly but clear, and the moon was still a sliver; ideal conditions for stargazing. Riley walked up behind Adam and wrapped his arms around him. “You’d do well in a gay bar. You’d turn every head.”

Adam tilted his head back. “You think?”

“I know.” He kissed Adam’s hair. “You’d have your pick.”

Adam tilted his head, and Riley accepted the invitation to kiss his neck. Adam squirmed happily in his arms, then said, “I’d like to go to one with you.”

Riley didn’t think he’d like watching Adam pick up other men, and he was scared to hope that wasn’t what Adam meant. He kissed behind Adam’s ear and waited for more information.

“They could all watch me leave with you,” Adam said.

Riley’s heart sped up. “Yeah?”

Adam turned in Riley’s arms. “No one else would even come close.” They kissed, slowly this time, not like the fevered kisses in the storage room. This was careful and quiet, as if they might disturb the silent beauty around them if they rushed. It was, Riley thought, possibly the most romantic moment of his life.

But the night was very cold, so after a few more minutes, they went inside. Lucky greeted them enthusiastically as they removed their shoes and coats.

“Hey, buddy,” Adam said as he scratched Lucky’s ears. “I know you were worried, but I think the banquet went okay.”

“I think the town might elect Shep mayor,” Riley added.

“Does this town have a mayor?”

“Nah. There’s a county mayor. But you could probably have that job too if you asked for it.”

“Sounds like a lot of paperwork.”

“Mm.”

“But I could see some perks too.” Adam attacked him with one of his winks.

“Yeah?” Riley put a hand on Adam’s hip and guided him closer.

“I’d probably have to test the quality of the fried seafood pretty regularly,” Adam mused. “Y’know. As mayor.”

“Very important.”

“And I could create a new holiday where you just make out with a handsome shop owner all day.”

“Got your eye on Allan at the hardware store, do you?”

Adam laughed. “I could make you my deputy.”

“No thanks.”

“Special advisor?”

“Nope.” Riley kissed just under Adam’s jaw, which made Adam gasp.

“Come on,” Adam said shakily. “I need someone to tell me important stuff. Like what the name of the county is.”

Riley chuckled against Adam’s throat, then kissed a trail down to his shoulder.

Lucky wedged his way between their legs, tail knocking against Riley’s shin. “Go to bed, Lucky,” Riley said between kisses.

Lucky sighed heavily but obeyed.

“Maybe we should go to bed too,” Adam suggested. His pulse was racing against Riley’s lips, and his cock was straining against the front of his pants. Riley wanted to sink to his knees right here, but Lucky was making things weird.

“Yeah. Okay.”

Adam practically ran up the stairs, which made Riley laugh.

Riley took his time downstairs, watering a couple of plants and turning off lights. All he could think about all night was taking Adam to bed, but now that the moment was here, he was anxious. He didn’t even know why; they’d had sex twice in the past twenty-four hours, and both times had been incredible. Everything he’d ever wanted, really. And maybe that was the problem: when things were good, Riley’s guard went up.

He filled two water glasses and brought them upstairs with him. Adam was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing only a pair of black boxer briefs and palming the bulge of his erection.

“Oh,” Riley said.

Adam’s lips tilted into the sexiest smile Riley had ever seen. “Thought I was gonna have to do this myself.”

Riley set the water glasses on the dresser. “Nope.” He took his shirt off, then popped the button open on his jeans.

“Come here,” Adam said. He spread his legs wide, inviting Riley to step into them.

And yeah. Okay. Maybe this could be easy. Maybe Riley could let himself have this without overthinking it.

Adam greeted Riley by kissing his stomach, then again and again. Gentle kisses with electric little flicks of tongue that were making Riley crazy.

“God, you’re fucking sexy, Riles,” Adam said as he slowly pulled Riley’s zipper down. He kissed his cock through his underwear as he pushed Riley’s jeans down to his thighs. “You smell so good.” He began to mouth at Riley’s erection, his breath hot against the damp cotton. Riley tilted his head back and groaned.

Adam kept going until the front of Riley’s briefs were soaked and his cock was dying to be released. “Come on,” Riley complained.

“Tell me what to do,” Adam said. “Get bossy with me.”

Riley sucked in a breath. “Take my dick out and suck it then, superstar.”

Adam gaped for a moment, then whispered, “Shit. Okay.”

Riley grunted in relief as his cock was freed from the wet fabric, then grunted again as he sank into the wet heat of Adam’s mouth. Within seconds, every bad feeling that lived inside Riley drifted away as he lost himself in pleasure. He kept himself still, letting Adam set the pace.

“That’s good. That’s perfect,” Riley said.

Adam hummed around him in reply.

Riley stroked his cheek. “You think maybe you wanna fuck me tonight?”

A moan this time, and then Adam pulled off. He gazed up at Riley with those gorgeous eyes and said, “Or you could fuck me.”

Riley’s heart stopped. “You serious?” They’d never even come close to that before. Adam’s ass had always been, as far as Riley had been able to tell, off-limits.

“I’m really fucking serious. I want you to fuck me, Riles.”

“Have you…?”

Adam shook his head. “But I’ve been…practicing. With toys. I like it.”

Well, there was an image. Riley needed a second to remember how to speak, then he said, “Yeah?”

Adam smiled at him. “Yeah.”

In the next second, Adam was flat on his back, Riley on top of him, kissing him and kissing him. They stayed like that for a while, making out and grinding against each other, until finally Riley said, “Lie on your stomach. Gonna get you ready.”

“Okay, but hurry,” Adam said as he rolled over.

Adam’s ass was still incredible, thick with muscle and lightly dusted with dark hair. “Don’t worry,” Riley said as he palmed one of Adam’s ass cheeks and squeezed, “you’re going to like this part.”

He draped himself over Adam, kissing his shoulder, then the back of his neck, then kissed a trail down his spine. He kissed one ass cheek, then the other, then spread those cheeks wide.

“Oh god,” Adam whimpered. “Yes. Please.” He bent his knees slightly, raising himself up in offering to Riley.

It was so hard to believe this was real. It was much easier to believe it was a fantasy, or a wonderful dream that Riley would wake up frustrated from. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

Adam jolted when Riley flicked his tongue against his hole, but then he moaned when Riley did it again. “Holy. Fuck. Riles, that’s—yes. Keep doing that.”

Had no one ever done this to Adam before? If not, then what a waste. Riley would happily do this for hours, listening to Adam’s blissed-out noises while feeling his hole relax against his tongue.

“That’s it,” Riley murmured after a few minutes. “Let me in.”

“Want you in me. Want it,” Adam panted. His hips were grinding against the mattress and back against Riley’s mouth.

Riley lightly swatted his ass. “Stop that. Be patient.”

“Patience is overrated.”

Riley laughed, then wriggled his tongue inside.

“Oh my fucking—what the fuck? That’s so good.”

Encouraged, Riley kept at it. He slipped a hand between Adam’s legs and wrapped it around his hard cock, giving him a couple of strokes as a reward for staying still.

Adam hissed, then said, “Riles. Careful.”

Riley let him go and pulled away from his hole with a parting kiss. “Already, huh?”

“Fuck you. You know how good that fucking feels.”

“First time?”

“Yes. Obviously.” Adam took a slow, deep breath, then exhaled. “I want to last for you.”

Riley stroked Adam’s back soothingly as he admired his ass. “What makes you think I’ll last?”

Adam laughed. “Maybe it’s not important.”

Riley kissed between his shoulder blades. “Just a sec.” He left the bed to retrieve the lube from his nightstand. His hand hovered over a second item. “I have condoms if you want. But you said you were on PrEP?”

“Yeah. And I got tested since my last time. It’s up to you, but I’m good without a condom.”

Riley shut the drawer. “Me too.”

Adam rolled to his back. “Can we do it like this?”

“Better for your shoulder?”

“Yeah. And…I want to see you.”

Riley melted a bit at that. “Okay.”

He got to work, opening Adam up with his fingers.

“Oh fuck, that’s nice,” Adam said as he squirmed against the sheets. “Your fingers are so thick.”

“You like being filled, huh?” Riley added a second finger. Then, needing to know, he asked, “Did you want this before? When we used to fuck? Did you wish you were under me?”

“I don’t know,” Adam rasped. “Probably. Yes. I was so fucking stupid.”

“Not stupid,” Riley corrected him. “Just scared. Are you scared now?”

“No,” Adam said quickly. He met Riley’s gaze, his eyes dark and fierce. “I’m not scared at all.”

Riley swallowed and wished he could say the same. He was scared of what would happen tomorrow, when Adam left. He was scared it might break him.

“Stroke yourself,” he instructed, forcing the dark thoughts away. “Get yourself close, then stop.”

Riley sat back on his heels, between Adam’s spread legs, and watched him. Adam was stunning like this, flushed and glistening with lube and sweat and saliva. His cock looked painfully hard, his balls heavy and tight, as he carefully jerked himself off.

“Just like that,” Riley praised. “Beautiful.”

“You’re playing,” Adam gritted out, “a dangerous game here.”

Riley smiled, then added a third finger inside.

“Oh shit,” Adam gasped. “Shit. Shit.”

Riley cupped Adam’s balls with his other hand and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Keep going.”

Adam threw his head back on the pillow, his neck straining as he continued stroking his cock. “Please.”

Riley pulled his fingers out. “You want it?”

“I want—yes. Oh! Oh fuck.” Adam took his hand off his cock and groaned in frustration.

“You good?” Riley asked as he slicked his own cock with lube.

Adam flopped an arm over his eyes. “Give me a minute. That was way too close.”

Riley stroked himself, watching the heavy rise and fall of Adam’s chest, and admiring how tortured Adam’s cock looked. Riley would bet he could blow on it right now and Adam would shoot off.

“Tell me when you’re ready.” Riley hoped he didn’t sound as impatient as he suddenly felt. He’d been waiting so long for this moment.

Adam pulled his arm away so he could see again, and his gaze fell right to Riley’s cock. “Oh wow.”

“I’ll go slow,” Riley promised. “And we can stop anytime.”

Adam nodded. “Okay.”

Riley grabbed a pillow. “Lift up.” He wedged it under Adam’s hips. “That’s better.” He lined himself up. “Tell me to stop if you need to,” he reminded him.

“I will.”

Riley pushed against his entrance. “Try to relax for me.”

Adam exhaled, and Riley pushed inside.

If Riley had thought Adam had overwhelmed him before, it was nothing compared to this moment. He watched in amazement as his cock slowly sank into Adam’s— Adam’s!— body.

Adam’s eyes were squeezed shut, and he was biting his bottom lip hard. Riley stopped. “You okay?”

“I think. Yeah.” He laughed nervously. “You’re huge.”

“I’m a pretty standard size.”

“You feel huge. Keep going.”

“You sure?”

“Keep. Going.”

Riley pushed in farther. He wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to be able to be the one in charge here. He could feel his brain breaking apart as he sank deeper. “God, Adam. So fucking good.”

“Yeah,” Adam panted. “Yeah.”

Riley pulled out a bit, then pushed back in. Adam’s eyes went wide with surprise, then he moaned out a string of profanity and slurred compliments. Riley smiled and did it again. He was going to make this so good for Adam. He knew he was good at topping—Adam had been one of the only men he’d ever bottomed for. Riley wasn’t particular, but most of his partners wanted him to top. He’d never expected Adam to be one of them.

“You’re so,” Riley said as he gave Adam another slow thrust, “fucking beautiful.”

“God, that’s good. You’re so good. So hot. Riles, please.”

Riley went a little faster, a little harder. He planted a hand on the mattress, bracing himself so he could find a rhythm. He fucked Adam the way he’d always dreamed while Adam gazed at him with dazed wonder.

Riley pressed his lips tight together, scared of the truths that might rattle out of him.

I don’t want you to leave.

I want to go with you.

I can’t be without you again.

I love you so much. I never stopped. I couldn’t stop.

He felt those words with every thrust.

Adam was stroking himself again, still gazing at Riley’s face. “Riles,” he said. Then repeated his name twice more. Riley loved hearing it. He never wanted to stop listening to a blissed-out Adam Sheppard chanting his name like a prayer.

“You gonna come?” Riley asked with effort. “Shit, Adam. I’m so close.”

Adam answered his question by going rigid and coming all over his own chest. “Oh fuck. Fuck. Riles.”

Riley lost all sense of rhythm after that, fucking Adam wildly as he drowned in pleasure. Then, like the sea being dragged back from the shore to form a monster wave, he shivered and braced for impact before being smashed apart. He exploded inside Adam with a choked howl of relief and ecstasy. It seemed to go on and on, delicious ripples rocking through him as he continued to lazily thrust. Now that he was finally inside Adam, he didn’t want to leave.

He lowered himself carefully and kissed Adam until his dick softened and slipped out on its own. Then he sat back on his heels so he could admire the mess that was now Adam Sheppard.

Adam spread his arms wide on the mattress and smiled sleepily. “Gotta say, that was fucking great.”

Riley smiled back at him. “The best.”

“I probably need a shower.”

“You look all right to me.”

Adam laughed, then said, “Shower with me?”

“You just want someone else to do all the work scrubbing you down.”

Adam closed his eyes, still smiling. “You made the mess.”

Riley huffed. “Guess I’ve gotta clean it up then. Come on.”

The shower was ninety-eight percent lazy kissing and two percent scrubbing, but they got the job done. Later, when they were back in bed, Adam tucked snugly under Riley’s arm, Adam said, “Thank you. For doing that for me.”

It took Riley a moment to understand what he was talking about. “It wasn’t exactly a hardship, fucking you.”

“I mean… I’m glad it was you. I needed to really trust the person who did that to me for the first time, so thank you.”

Riley’s brain told him two things at once: that it was really nice hearing Adam say that, and also that it might mean Adam was now ready to bottom his way through gay Toronto.

He pushed the second thought away and kissed Adam’s temple. “I’m glad it was me too.”

He wanted it to keep being him. He wished they had more time. He wished this could have happened during a better week, one where Riley wasn’t choking on grief. A week when Adam could have seen him at his best, instead of his absolute worst.

But Adam had seen him at his worst, and he was in Riley’s bed anyway.

Riley kissed his temple again. He hoped, if nothing else, he’d given Adam some good memories over the past couple of days. If this was where things had to end, then at least they could both move forward without the ghosts of the past haunting them.

As Adam fell asleep in Riley’s arms, Riley let himself imagine a different future, where things didn’t have to end. He thought about what that might look like, what he’d be willing to give up. He could be patient, he thought, if a life with Adam was the prize.