Page 29

“How long is the drive again?” Adam asked between kisses.

Riley smiled. “It’s still about ninety minutes. Same as when you asked last time.”

Adam sighed and slipped his hands under the hem of Riley’s T-shirt. He was obsessed with Riley’s stomach: the solid muscle, the soft skin, the sexy dip of his belly button. “What time is it now?”

“Almost ten. Your flight is at one. You need to leave.”

They were in the kitchen, attempting to say goodbye for the second time today. The first time had been an hour ago, but then Adam had spotted a deer in the backyard, and Riley had found his excitement adorable. So they’d ended up blowing each other on the sofa. This time Adam had his coat on, and his suitcase beside him. This time it was real.

“Maybe there’s a later flight,” Adam murmured against Riley’s neck. “Like, maybe one in October.”

Riley laughed. “You have to see your doctor tomorrow.”

“I guess.”

“Your kids would miss you.”

“I doubt it.”

“You’d miss them.”

Adam rested his forehead on Riley’s shoulder. “I would. But I’ll miss you too.”

You could have had this, you idiot , he scolded himself. This could have been your life.

“Come on,” Riley said gently. “Let’s get you in the car.”

He carried Adam’s suitcase for him. Lucky was already outside and bounded over when he spotted them.

“Thanks for letting me stay with you, Lucky,” Adam said as he rubbed Lucky’s face with both hands. “You take care of Riles, okay?”

“He will,” Riley assured him. “He’s good at that.”

Adam took a moment to admire the view of the ocean one more time. It was a beautiful sunny day, and the blue water sparkled like a tourism ad for Nova Scotia. A small boat sat right in the middle of the bay, and in the far distance, at the end of one arm of land, Adam could see the white lighthouse glinting in the sun.

“I won’t be seeing much of this in Toronto,” Adam said.

“You’ll be able to get, like, Thai food, though,” Riley pointed out.

Adam laughed, even though his eyes were starting to burn with tears. “Are you going to be okay, Riles?”

Riley shrugged. “I’ll keep busy.”

It wasn’t an answer, but at least Riley wasn’t lying to him. Adam took a steadying breath and asked the most important question. “So what now? For us, I mean.”

“You go back to Toronto, and I stay here,” Riley said. It was a brutal answer, but it was honest and, Adam suspected, careful.

Adam took his hand and turned slightly so he was facing him directly. He said, “I don’t want to push you, but—” at the same time Riley said, “I can’t—”

They both laughed nervously, then Adam said, gently, “You can’t?”

Riley sighed. “Sorry. I just… I need time. I need to think .”

“I get that,” Adam said, even as his heart crumbled.

Riley stared at their joined hands. “The past few days have been so good. Like, so fucking good, Adam. But I’m still such a mess. I can’t make big decisions right now.”

“Sure,” Adam managed. “Makes sense.”

Riley raised his gaze to meet Adam’s. “Tell me what you were going to say.”

“Oh.” Adam wasn’t sure how to say it now. Would it be too much? He tried a watered-down version. “You’re right. It’s not a good time to jump into anything, but if you ever think maybe you’d like to…with me. Well, I can wait a really long time if that’s something that might be on the table someday.”

Riley’s eyes softened. “I think it will be.”

Adam blinked a few times, trying to unblur his vision. “But yeah. Until then, whatever you need.”

“It’s not just what I need. You need to think about what you want too. Look at that list of yours again, about coming out. Figure out a plan.”

“I’ll come out,” Adam said quickly. Too quickly. “I’ll tell the whole world if that’s what you—”

Riley held up a hand. “I just think it’s…safer if we don’t make promises right now.” A small, sad smile twisted his lips. “But thank you.”

“I won’t hurt you,” Adam blurted out.

“Yeah. That’s the kind of promise we shouldn’t make. Not now.” Riley’s lips tilted into a shy smile. “But, um. Stay on me, okay?”

Adam exhaled in a relieved whoosh. “I’ll text you when I get home. I’ll call you. What’s the number for your landline? I want to call you and know you’re in your kitchen, talking to me on that adorable pink phone.”

Riley’s smile grew. “I’ll text it to you.” He tugged on Adam’s hand and started walking toward the car. “Come on.”

At the car, they kissed one more time. Adam rested a palm on Riley’s cheek, against his soft beard. “This town loves you,” he reminded him. “If you need help, ask for it, okay?”

“I will.”

“I’ll text you when I get to the airport. And when I get home.”

“Thanks.”

Adam opened the car door. He knew he shouldn’t tell Riley he loved him, but he needed to say something . “Riles, I—I’m just really glad I came here. I’m glad we…” He stopped himself because the words were horribly inadequate. He tried again. “It was awful when you weren’t in my life. I don’t want to lose you again.”

Riley’s eyes glistened, then he looked away. “Fuck, Adam.”

“I wanted you to know that. In case I haven’t been clear.”

Riley blew out a breath. “I’m glad you didn’t listen when I told you to leave.”

Adam smiled sadly and wished for the millionth time that he hadn’t listened when Riley had pushed him away the first time, when he’d gone to Dallas. “This isn’t the end,” he promised. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah. Okay. Go home and get that shoulder fixed.”

Adam got into the driver’s seat. “Goodbye, Riles.”

“Bye, Shep. Drive safe. And, um, thank you. For everything this week.”

Riley took a step back, and Adam closed the door. He waved one more time before he backed out of the driveway, and left Riley Tuck behind.