Page 8

CHAPTER 8

NOVOCAINE BY THE BAND CAMINO

Brianne Archer:

I’m hiding the fact that I’m completely nervous out of my mind right now. Parker is calmly sitting next to me as we park and pull up to my apartment. Alone, with no one else there but me and Parker and every bad and dirty thought I’ve ever had about him. I need to talk to Dakota ASAP. I type him a quick text.

Brianne: Hey, so Bellamy kind of canceled and Parker said he wasn’t going to leave me alone on my birthday so he’s kind of at my apartment with me… Alone.

Dak: Brianne Archer this is a red fucking alert oh my god. Do you need anything? Do you have condoms?

Brianne: Can’t talk, just had to tell you. Love you, bye!

I click the screen off and slide my phone into my duffle bag. I feel a text vibration, then another. I ignore both because Parker is taking my bag from my shoulder, carrying it for me. He’s a gentleman with ease. I was raised to expect nothing less, but I never actually get it from anyone except my brother so this is a nice change. I lead him into the elevator and up to our floor even though he’s been here plenty of times and could lead me if he wanted to. I reach the door and unlock it, opening it for the two of us. I open up the door for him, letting him in first with a smile.

“Your phone is vibrating a lot,” he tells me and I nod.

“It’s Dakota,” I tell him.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

“With his head, yes. But in general, no. He’s just being Dakota,” I smile and close the door, locking it behind us.

“Which entails him blowing up your phone?” he asks and I nod.

“Yeah, you know how best friends are,” I tell him and he shakes his head.

“I’ve never had a best friend blow my phone up,” he admits and I shrug.

“Well, now I’m here, and I definitely will. You’ll find out what you were missing out on,” I smile and take my phone from my duffle. “You can set it down anywhere, thank you by the way.”

“There’s no reason to say thank you.” He shakes his head.

I send Dakota’s call to voicemail and immediately receive another text.

Dak: Send me to voicemail again and I swear I’ll leave your car on cinder blocks. 3

I sigh and another call comes through. I look straight at Parker with wary eyes.

“Dakota isn’t going to leave me alone until he hears my voice so excuse me for five seconds,” I tell him and he sits on the couch while I stand in front of the coffee table, pacing, my phone to my ear.

“Dak, I’m fine,” I answer.

“You might be fine right now but what you need to be is a hoe. If this night doesn’t end with you kissing him, Brianne, then you are useless, do you hear me? This is the chance of a lifetime. I’ve been digging and Parker doesn’t usually do hookups. He doesn’t even freaking talk. Literally, that was the only thing people said about him… So take your chance!” he tells me and I sigh.

“Not happening, Dak,” I say quietly.

“If it doesn’t happen, you’re no longer allowed in my apartment. You’re banished,” he threatens and I scoff.

“You wouldn’t,” I fight back.

“Watch me. Kiss him. Fuck him. Live your damn life, please. It’s Parker fucking Thompson. That’s the only pep talk you need. I love you, be safe!” he tells me then he hangs up, and I just stare at my phone screen and then shake my head.

“Are you sure he’s okay? Because if we need to go and—” I shake my head and cut off his words.

“He’s definitely got something wrong with him but it’s nothing to worry about and we aren’t going anywhere. Are you ready to lose?” I ask him and bend down in front of the TV turning on the Nintendo Switch. I grab two controllers from the TV stand and bring them over to where he sits.

“Whatever we’re playing, there’s no way I’d lose,” he tells me, taking a controller. “We’re both athletes but I can promise you I’m more competitive.”

I look at him with shock present on my face. I scroll over to Mario Kart with my controller and he scoffs.

“Yeah, you’re going down, Archer,” he shakes his head, preparing himself. I feel my cheeks heat up. We’re close, intimately close, but I’m not even thinking about moving. “Why did you have that shocked look on your face?” He asks me and I shrug.

“Just shocked you outwardly admitted that you consider me an athlete,” I admit.

“Do you not consider yourself one?” he asks and I shake my head.

“Of course I do. It’s just normally a fight to convince other athletes that cheer is actually a sport,” I tell him and he shakes his head slightly with a single shrug of his shoulders.

“You’ve got more stamina and drive than half the players on my team. Cheerleaders are built and badass. And for you, not only do you cheer but you dance too. The muscle you need to dance is… It’s just crazy to me that anyone would fight that. I mean, look at your friend Dakota. He’s got the same tone and definition Lawson, Bellamy, or I have. He’s fucking built. It’d be dumb to diminish that for what reason?” he asks.

“Because we wear sparkly outfits and pretty makeup,” I admit.

“Sounds like a perk… Staring at you while you do what you do best,” he tells me, not even eyeing me.

I bite my lip to hide my smile. Parker scrolls through the Mario characters and picks Dry Bones which is oddly fitting. I pick Princess Peach and he slightly nods like he’s impressed but also confused.

“I didn’t think you were a Princess Peach person,” he admits.

“I only pick Princess Peach when Bellamy isn’t here because he always picks her before I get a chance,” I admit. “But when he is here, I pick Donkey Kong.”

“So how did you and Dakota meet?” he asks casually.

My eyes drift to him only for a second and he looks away from me and back to the screen. Smooth Parker… I’d be lying if my confidence wasn’t slightly boosted knowing he was staring at me.

“Well, it’s actually a funny story. It was the day we both did our cheer orientation for the team. A lot of the new recruits went out to one of the bars on campus… I actually ran into one of my exes who I’d rather jump off a roof than speak to, so to avoid it, I kissed Dakota. There was some in between that, but that’s the gist,” I tell Parker and he coughs, choking slightly. “Then we decided that we were never going to do that again because we’re going to be stunt partners for our entire college career, right? Then, I saw another one of my exes so we broke our rule and kissed again. Then, we swore that was it and it really was the end of that. But it was the start of our friendship,” I smile and use my advantage in the game to throw a banana behind me.

I watch Parker’s character slip on it and he curses under his breath.

“So you ran into two of your exes in one night?” he asks and I nod.

“Yeah, I knew one of them was coming to SPU but the other said he wasn’t so I was shocked to see him,” I admit.

“Do all of your exes go here?” he asks with a soft laugh present in his voice.

“Only three. The other two are in fact not in the state anymore,” I tell him. “Why?”

“Just in case,” he shrugs as if that was casual. Just in case what?

“So you and Dakota—” he starts but I don’t let him finish.

“Are strictly friends. You’re the only person who has actually listened to me when I say it. So, I’m promising you there’s nothing between us besides a pretty strong friendship. We kissed, we swore never again, we moved on… The only feelings that are there are the friend kind. He planned something for my birthday tomorrow, so you should come. That way, you can see that we’re just friends. Are you jealous, Parker?” I ask and he shrugs one shoulder.

“No. I’m just making sure I don’t have a reason to be,” he tells me.

I’m glad the only light that’s on in the living room is the lamp in the corner and the glow from our game on the TV because I’m blushing more than I should be right now.

“This feels so wrong,” I say out loud, almost blurting it out.

“Playing games in your apartment? Because that’s all that’s happening,” he says so casually. My hands are sweating profusely. I’m sure if I wasn’t using this controller, they’d be shaking.

“Being alone in the apartment. Of your friend. My brother,” I admit.

“Nothing is happening, Brianne. I’m spending your birthday with you, just like he should have, because I want to. Not everything revolves around your brother. Things can revolve around you too,” he explains and I go quiet. “Is that how it’s always been?” he asks and I shake my head.

“It’s not like that. We’re equal in who things are about. I just… Like to think of everyone's feelings. After my parents passed away Bellamy…” I stop myself, feeling stupid for getting personal. He’s not my therapist. I don’t need to talk his ear off.

“Yes?” he asks, turning his face to me slightly.

We’re so close. His face is directly next to mine when I look at him. I watch his eyes travel over my face, hesitate on my lips, then go back to my eyes.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he tells me, turning his face back to the game even though my breath is caught in my throat right now.

“Um… After my parents… After my parents passed, everything was about me. That was when we really started getting close and he made everything about me and he was just so… So obsessed with making sure I was okay, and I just, I don’t know. Sometimes I overcompensate by making sure it feels equal all these years later,” I admit.

“Did your parents ever make you feel like…” he hesitates, trying to find the words.

“No. No. My parents weren’t like that. Bellamy was close with both of my parents but I was closer with my mom. She was my best friend and Bell took that place when she was gone,” I tell him. “You grew up with siblings, didn’t you? So I’m sure you're close with one of them?”

“I didn’t have siblings,” he tells me and I furrow my brows.

He said he grew up in loud environments with other kids. That has to mean siblings. Right?

“I thought you… I guess I assumed. Sorry,” I tell him.

That’s what I imagined he meant—noisy kids usually means siblings.

“I mean, I could have siblings somewhere but I don’t know who they are or if they exist. I’m… I mean, I was in the foster system. I lived in foster houses my whole life,” he tells me and my jaw drops slightly, then I pick it back up right away.

“I had no idea. Was that hard?” I ask, not wanting to apologize.

That’s probably my least favorite thing people do. When people learn something sad or tragic, they apologize like that will do anything. I appreciate the sentiment but I’ve just learned to hate it. I’m sure he feels the same. I don’t know if what I asked him was what I should have asked. I don’t know if he wants to talk about it and if he does, why would it be with me? But he’s opening his mouth so I guess he’s answering either way.

“It wasn’t easy. But it also… I mean, at first, I was kind of an asshole, so I got sent to a few different families. Then, after I straightened out, I wasn’t moved around as much but it happens, even if everything is good. As good as it can be,” he tells me and I nod.

“Have you played football your whole life?” I ask and he nods in response, jerking his hands with the controller to skate around the turn.

“That's why I got my act together. The foster system is unforgiving. And it’s… It’s shitty, but I know my story is one in a million, and even with my circumstances, I was lucky. I was also very privileged where I grew up…” he tells me.

“Washington?” I ask.

“No. I grew up in California. I moved up and down the state but I’m originally from the Bay Area…” I stay quiet and let him continue on.

“My school knew I couldn’t afford to play but they needed me in something, some activity, something to keep me straight. It was some program that the area I lived in was doing with the students. My school board paid my way and I ended up loving football. After that, I got quiet and focused. I made sure I would be able to keep playing if it was the last thing I did. So, when I was in high school, I worked harder and I got offered a few big scholarships, one from California Sun our rivals… but I got offered a full ride and sponsorship from SPU. After that, I was… I mean it was—” He tries to put it into words but shakes his head, obviously at a loss. I nod.

“I understand. I mean I don’t, but I do,” I tell him. “I didn’t know any of that. Does anyone know any of that?” I ask him and he shakes his head.

“My roommates do. Mostly because it got awkward our first year around the holidays, but it’s never really come up. I don’t need to talk about it anymore,” he explains.

“So why talk about it to me?” I ask.

“If you want someone to feel comfortable around you, it’s easier when you share things. Normally people feel comfortable because I never talk but I can’t get you to like me if I don’t talk so… I’m talking,” he shrugs and I press my lips together.

“I already like you,” I tell him and I see a phantom of a smirk in the dim lighting. “And I am comfortable around you,” I add on.

The whisper of a smirk turns into a full-blown grin.

“Sure,” he mumbles.

“And either way. You can’t tell me the only reason you dropped your trauma lore is because you thought it would make me feel comfortable. That’s a heavy thing to tell someone…” I shrug.

“Fine. No one usually asks. No one talks to me or asks me about it and you asked. And because neither of us have parents,” he tells me.

“Trauma bonding.” I move my fist over and he bumps it, shaking his head. I cross the finish line coming in second and Parker is right behind me on my tail.

“Dammit,” he mumbles. “Beginner's luck.”

He challenges me again and I smirk, setting us up.

“You're on,” I tell him and start another game on a different track.

* * *

“Absolutely no way,” Parker sets his controller down and I smirk, three for three.

“Just accept your defeat, P. I win,” I tell him and he runs his hands over his thighs like he’s rubbing the sweat off of his palms. “What? So I make you nervous, Parker Thompson?” I ask him.

“Yes, actually you do,” he admits and I’m taken aback by the honesty that I didn’t expect from him. He’s more open than I expected him to be.

“Why are you so honest… So forward?” I ask.

“Because I have nothing to hide from anyone. Like I said, no one ever really asks so I never share. You ask and you pay attention… to me,” he hesitates to add the last part.

My face softens at the thought. I think back to the bar—to the fact that he seemed so shocked and soft over me being concerned over his face and him being hurt. As if he’s never been cared for before in that way. I don’t like the thought of him feeling like no one has cared. It’s an unsettling feeling, especially coming from a place where it feels like people almost care too much about what you do, and how you are.

“I’m sorry… If I ever push too far or pry I… I don’t mean to, I just. You know I talk too much and I just ramble and never really know what to say so—”

“I’m glad you talk because I don’t really like to talk, Brianne. It’s okay,” he admits and I look at him, my controller in my lap.

It’s pitch black outside the windows and I have absolutely no idea what time it is. I have no idea where anyone is or when they might come back. I have no idea when Parker is going home or why he’s staring at me like he’s going to kiss me but I feel like my insides are mush, and my outsides are about to melt.

His eyes. It’s dark but not dark enough for me not to see the green haze. It’s not dark enough for me to not notice the way they’re looking at my lips like they’re the only thing he’s ever wanted in his life. I’m terrified because I don’t want him to back away. I don’t want him to not kiss me. He hasn’t kissed me yet and I already feel a burning hot fire in my stomach and scorching lava in my veins. My chest is heavy, my head is spinning, and I’m just thinking about it.

I haven’t felt that in… I haven’t felt that ever. I haven’t kissed him and I’m burning for him. He’s one of my brother's best friends. This was supposed to be something silly. Something small. As of right now, it’s still that. Silly and small. It means nothing. All that could change in a mere second. I need to be careful.

“Parker…” I mumble his name, trying to make sense of my thoughts and the words jumbling in my head.

I talk too much most of the time but can’t seem to get any words out of my stupid mouth right now.

“Brianne, I’m gonna do something really reckless unless you, something, or someone else stops me,” he tells me and I don’t say a word.

I can’t say anything. I should definitely say something but I won't say anything. Even if it’s stupid and reckless and the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Even if I just told myself to be careful, that word seems to have evaporated from my vocabulary. My eyes flutter closed when his hands weave into my hair and his tongue wets his lips. I wait only a second before the vibration of my phone interrupts us. I feel his breath on my face and his presence so close that I can practically taste him. I sigh and break away. The sign that he was looking for showed up in soaring colors.

“It’s Bellamy…” I tell him softly, moving a little bit so I’m not as close to him.

Nothing happened. I have nothing to potentially regret. Nothing to hide. Parker says nothing, his hands in his lap, one of his legs pulled up and the other off the couch and pressed to the floor. I answer the phone and hear his laughter.

“Hey, are you alright?” I ask carefully.

“Hey, B… You’re still up, are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m perfect… I’m… I had a good day, a good night,” I admit and my eyes glance to Parker.

“Are you home?” he asks.

“Um, yeah,” I tell him.

“Is Dakota with you?” he asks.

“No, he had plans tonight because he thought I had plans, but it’s fine. I’m fine Bellamy, you don’t have to worry,” I tell him.

“I will worry because my baby sister stayed home on her birthday instead of going out. By the way, did you happen to see Parker when you left?” he asks, having no idea that I’m staring straight at him right now that I had every intention of letting the man kiss me…

I don’t want to lie but I know that if I tell him the truth it will be a million questions. I know Bellamy would also probably freak out slightly.

“No. I haven’t seen Parker,” I lie and Parker holds his hands up, shaking his head.

What did he expect? Me to tell my brother I was hanging out solo with his bestie? Fuck no.

“Weird. He said he was going to find a ride to our place. I told him we changed plans and to meet us at Haven, but he didn’t respond…” he tells me.

“I’m not sure. Maybe he just went home. You guys played pretty hard today,” I chew on the inside of my cheek, not looking at Parker anymore.

“I’ll call him later. We’re all about to head back home, though. Do you need anything?” he asks me.

“No, I’m alright,” I tell him.

“I love you. I’ll see you in a little, B,” he tells me.

“I love you, Belly,” I tell him, then we both hang up.

I throw my phone back on the table in front of us and sigh.

“They’re about to be on their way home from Haven,” I tell him.

“Did he tell you that before or after you lied to him about me?” I look at him and see him raise his eyebrows at me, waiting for an answer to his question.

“Parker. I know my brother better than you or anyone. I’ve also known him longer. Don’t question how I should be going about this,” I argue.

“Whatever you say, Brianne. I guess I should leave.”

He stands up and I do too. I said I needed to be careful and that doesn’t include me wanting him to stay. It includes me hiding this from Bellamy but my chest is tight at the thought of Parker not being happy about it.

“Let me take you home,” I offer and he just stares at me.

“I can get a ride from Xander. I don’t want them to get home and you not be here and have to explain,” he tells me and I can’t tell if he’s mad or upset.

I watch as he moves around me, avoiding touching me at all. I watch as he grabs his phone and heads toward the front door.

“Parker…” I call his name and he turns, walking backward.

He’s not mad. He’s… I can’t read his features. It’s like he’s… confused? Maybe?

“I’ll see you tomorrow. For your actual birthday celebration. That is if you still want me there,” he offers.

“I’d really like you there,” I admit and he nods.

“Parker…” I call him, very obvious desperation in my voice. He looks at me, waiting.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to upset you,” I admit.

This is not the way I wanted our night to end.

“I’m not… I mean, I… I get it. It’s not a big deal, Brianne. I’ll see you tomorrow, though.”

He leaves and I find myself staring at the door for a few seconds after he’s gone.