Page 29

CHAPTER 29

CALL ME (PIANO VERSION) BY THE FRANKLIN ELECTRIC

Brianne Archer:

I walk into the apartment from dance lessons with Parker and I pull my jacket off of my body, moving to hang it in the closet that’s by the door. It’s Tuesday now. We got back really early yesterday morning from Vegas and despite the want and need to go and sleep for the rest of the day, I actually made it to all of my classes and my cheer practice with the team. Griffin won his game. He is new in the NFL so he didn’t get to play for long, just at the end of the last quarter, but he did in fact score the final touchdown which was a major win for him.

We celebrated after the game with the Raiders team at an official NFL afterparty. Bellamy, Lawson, and even Parker were swept up in all of it. One thing I’ve noticed about Parker is that he’s a silent dreamer. He’s the kind of person who doesn’t want to say what they want or hope for out loud because they’re afraid of something. I think Parker is scared someone could maybe take his dream from him… I know how important his sport is to him. It’s probably always going to be the most real and important thing in his life and I get that. It’s one of the things I respect the most about him.

I didn’t text Bellamy back, per Parker’s request. The entire last day we were in Vegas, Bellamy was partially pretending I didn’t exist. Not that he didn’t notice me because he did, but it was like he was walking on eggshells like he couldn’t speak to me unless he had to and it was odd. Since we’ve been home, I’ve hardly seen him but even when I did, we didn’t really talk. I feel like Vegas was a small tipping point since I’ve gotten here. For weeks his behavior has been unacceptable to me. He doesn’t see me as an adult. I don’t like the tension, but there’s nothing I can do unless he talks to me—

“Hey, B.”

I whip my head around and my brother walks into the kitchen. He looks tense like he’s not had the greatest day.

“Hey, Belly.”

I walk into the kitchen and offer a smile, hoping he’ll return it, but he doesn’t. I see him standing there still and feel the somewhat awkward tension in the air. I wanted him to come to me. He said hey, so maybe I should just act normal?

“So… how was your day?” I ask with a smile, trying to alleviate that weird feeling.

“Fine,” he mumbles, keeping his tone clipped. I clench my jaw and sigh.

“Awesome…” I whisper, not knowing what else to do but say something to him.

“It’s obvious you have something you want to get off of your chest. So, if you have something to say, can you please say it?” I ask him, trying to keep my voice calm even though it’s shaking.

Bellamy and I don’t fight. Not before. Not ever. I don’t understand how to navigate a disagreement or tension with him.

“You want to have this conversation?” he asks and I nod, my arms crossed over my chest.

“This is not us and that isn’t you. Just asking each other how our day is and you acting like you barely know me or can barely talk to me anymore. It’s infuriating.” His voice is still stiff and clipped. I furrow my brows.

“Your tone is accusatory. Like I’m at fault here…” I mumble, not liking the thought of standing up to him or hurting him, but hearing Parker and Dakota in my head telling me that I don’t deserve anything but the best from everyone else but especially myself.

“Because it’s not me. You spent most of the Vegas trip in your hotel room and you snapped at me constantly. The second you moved in, I feel like you’ve just made your own life and your own everything and I’m not your brother or your best friend, I'm your roommate. You didn’t even speak to me all day yesterday,” he tells me and I feel an irrational anger boiling in my chest.

I try to be reasonable. Bellamy normally isn’t the one to be confrontational. He’s very level-headed on most occasions but right now… This feels like a joke. He was the one barking orders at me like he’s my dad, then he turned around and decided to ignore me but wants to blame me for that?

“I’m the one? Bellamy, you…”

I close my mouth, not wanting to snap at him or say anything that could hurt his feelings. My mom told me to never say things when your emotions are heightened and my therapist said the same damn thing. The urge to just spew every thought is so prevalent.

“I’m what? If we’re going to fight it out, then we need to put everything on the table. Tell me.” He crosses his arms and I scoff at the cold look he gives me.

Bellamy is always warm. I never see him go angry and cold, of course, except now when he’s speaking to me.

“You’re being an asshole and a hypocrite,” I mumble, trying to move past him and away from the situation.

I’ve never been one to call my brother out when he’s being unreasonable because he usually never is. Normally, this type of behavior passes… but I’ve noticed more now than ever that Bellamy treats me very differently than he treats anyone else he’s close to. I knew he was protective but the way he’s been since we started living together again is unacceptable.

“You get a boyfriend and you make friends on the cheer team so now I’m nothing? I hardly know what’s happening in your life, Bri.” His voice is louder now and I snap, whipping around toward him.

“Because I don’t want to tell you!” I don’t think before I say it. Silence spreads between us and he stares at me. “It doesn’t feel like it used to. You don’t feel like you used to. You don’t treat me the same and the way you treat me is a direct reflection of how I’ve started treating you,” I admit out loud for the first time and as much as I wish it wasn’t true, it is.

“Who’s fault is that?” he asks me and I don’t know what his goal was with that question.

I can’t tell if he was asking to put it on me or if he’s asking because he really doesn’t know or understand it.

“Our parents are gone. That doesn’t mean you need to parent me. Remember that.” I shove past him.

“God, you’re being… Bri, seriously? If Mom and Dad were here you know they’d be disappointed in—”

“Do not!” I snap and stand on the second stair as I turn toward him, tears in my eyes at the mention of our parents from him. “You don’t have a right to tell me anything about Mom and Dad and how they would feel about me or any of my choices. Especially when you don’t even know half of them. Bellamy, you’re never the person to point fingers but you are right now, look in the mirror, please.”

“You’ve changed.” He shakes his head.

“Because you’re supposed to. For the record, I absolutely adore the person I am. If you don’t even want to try to get to know her, that's on you,” I choke the words out and turn around and walk past him.

I grab my things, not even going upstairs to pack a bag.

“Where are you going?” he snaps and I shake my head, snatching my keys from the bowl on the island.

“Anywhere but here,” I snap back.

“Run to Dakota, that’s fine, but just know—”

I slam the door and don’t hear another word. I hold in my tears and don’t let myself get upset over him or anything else in my head right now. I don’t want to prove my brother right but my first instinct is to call Dakota. I do, but there’s no answer. He told me he was going to be with a girl tonight, someone he met over the weekend. I have no right to ruin that with my own shit. I can get in my car and drive around. I get a text from Parker right then, telling me he made it home. I shouldn’t call him and bother him. Maybe I can go back to the dance studio…

Parker: Are you okay?

I normally text him when I get back. I put my phone down, cover my face, and sigh. I’m overwhelmed. I’m beyond pissed but more than anything, I’m hurt and I’m upset. I start driving, not answering my phone or looking at it. It’s not like anyone, including Parker, would understand this. It almost feels like a betrayal. Things haven’t felt right for a while with Bellamy, but I never expected that to be the conversation we had to smooth it over.

Bellamy and I don’t fight. Not ever. Not since it was just us. He’s there for me, always, and yes, I have pushed him out and not told him about my relationships but one of the first things he told me when school started was that he didn’t really want to know details. So, how is that my fault when he set that precedent so early on? The very light hum of music in my car is silenced when a call comes in over Bluetooth. I answer it and wipe my tears that I didn’t realize I had started crying.

“Hello?” I ask quietly.

“Hey… You alright, Sunshine?” His voice is soft and kind. I choke up even more.

“I’m fine. I uh… I made it home,” I tell him, not lying. I did make it home, I just left again.

“Then why does it sound like you’re in the car?” he asks.

“Because I left again,” I admit.

“Brianne…” he calls my name in a sing-song voice.

“It’s not something you have to worry about, Parker…” I speak in a weak voice, barely able to get the words out.

“How about, instead of driving wherever you were planning on going, you start toward my place? Please?” he asks in the nicest voice possible.

“I don’t want you to have to—”

“I’m going to just stop you and tell you now that I’m not being forced into anything. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, but I’ll keep doing it until you understand. There’s no gun to my head. There’s no ulterior motive. I’m obsessed with you because I choose to be. I’m inviting you over because I want to. I called you because I actively care about you. So much,” he speaks out, the romance and sensitivity pouring out of him and still I’m shocked by it.

“I…” I can’t form words.

“Brianne Archer, if you are driving around in your car crying because of something, I suggest you stop and come here before I have to come find you,” his voice turns serious and my chest burns at the timbre of it.

“Okay…” I agree and turn my blinker on so I can turn toward his apartment. I sniffle and he sighs.

“Was that mean?” he asks.

“No, it was a little scary but kinda hot,” he laughs at that and I somehow crack a smile despite how foreign the action feels to me in moments like this.

“Just get here… Carefully and in one piece, please,” he urges and I nod.

“Okay,” I agree.

Parker hangs up first and I drive myself there just as he said. Carefully. It’s not raining but it is cold. I was stupid too and didn’t grab my jacket on the way out again. I just left. Though the heat is blasting in my Jeep, it’s not doing enough right now. I shiver and park in front of his apartment, right next to his truck. I get out and rush to the door, letting myself in and wish the warmth that greeted me was a little more drastic. I climb all four flights of stairs and hesitate before knocking. I sigh, knowing my face is swollen and puffy from crying and the cold. It’s too late to care about that right now. I knock anyway. There’s an obvious struggle and shuffle behind the door.

“Seriously fuck off, Xander. I’m not kidding,” I hear Parker’s voice and I take a step back, waiting for the door to open.

It does and Parker hasn’t even showered or changed out of his practice outfit that he was wearing at the dance studio.

“Hi,” I speak up and don’t smile because I know Parker would call me out for faking it.

“You’re freezing. Where is your jacket?” Parker opens the door for me and moves into his apartment, reaching for the back of the couch.

He snatches the blanket and shoves Nico off of it. Then, he rushes to me to wrap it around my shoulders.

“I’m fine, it’s fine,” I tell him.

“Do we need to go beat someone’s ass?” Xander asks.

“Shut up, Xander,” Parker grumbles.

“Be careful or your girlfriend will see how much of a dick you are,” Andrew warns.

“Seriously, Bri. I would go beat someone up if they fucked with you. Are you okay?” Xander leans on the edge of the couch and I shake my head.

“You’re sweet. Thank you,” I lean up and kiss his cheek.

“Jeez, you’re so much nicer than Parker. You know you don’t deserve all of that right?” Xander asks Parker as we start walking toward his bedroom.

“I’m well the fuck aware, Xander. Don’t bother us,” Parker grumbles behind me, following me into his bedroom.

“You need to be nicer to them,” I chastise, kicking off my boots.

“They need to mind their own business,” he argues and approaches me. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He tilts my head to the side, looking all over my face, my neck, my body.

“I’m fine. I’m not hurt, Parker,” I urge and he shakes his head.

“What happened? Was it…” he hesitates and my face breaks, my lips shaking. “Was it your fucking brother? Was it about Vegas?” Parker instantly gets defensive.

“It was a stupid fight,” I shake my head and sniffle. Parker wipes under my eyes consistently, catching every single tear as it falls.

“It obviously wasn’t stupid, what did he say?” Parker pulls me down to sit on his bed.

“You need to shower and change and I’m holding you up, seriously it’s not a big deal if you-—”

“Brianne—”

“No! It would make me feel better if you didn’t… If you did what you needed to do. Do that first. Don’t put me first right now, please. Please go and do what you usually do. I will feel like shit the whole time, please,” I beg and he clenches his jaw.

“You’re frustrating,” he mumbles.

“You wouldn’t be the first person to feel that way toward me tonight. Go,” I usher him and he shakes his head, leaving me in his bed.

After about fifteen minutes, Parker comes into his bedroom with damp hair and loose gray sweatpants hanging around his waist. He crosses his arms over his chest and stares at me head on.

“Can I care about you for a second now? Or is it not allowed?” he asks me and I open my mouth and then close it and cover my face.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize and I hear his feet approach.

“Don’t apologize, Sunshine. Just look at me and tell me what happened,” he speaks so casually as if he didn’t just melt every part of me and my body with a single word.

I hesitate and he looks at me with concern and confusion.

“What?” he asks and I shake my head.

“Nothing…” I whisper. “Bellamy basically attacked me the second I walked through the door. Asked why I treat him like a roommate and not a brother. Then, he brought up Vegas and how I didn’t talk to him yesterday. He blamed it all on me and acted like he had no part in the divide between us. I told him he wasn’t my parent, he was my brother, and he… He said insinuated that they would be disappointed in me which is really what cut deep,” I admit.

“Because it’s a shitty thing to say and it’s also not true.” Parker reaches forward and brushes his thumb over my cheekbone. He shakes his head and keeps his eyes locked on mine.

“He just said that I’ve changed and I know we would have fought either way, even if I did reply to him when we were in Vegas. I want to say it’s out of character for Bell, but I wouldn’t know. We don’t ever fight. Kamryn wasn’t there. It was just him and Lawson but he was upstairs with the door closed.”

“He hasn’t said anything to me,” Parker starts. “About any of that or what happened to make him explode but what happened in Vegas was on him. He painted it like he wanted you to have fun and then pulled his usual big brother protective shit. You wanting to leave and your reaction is justified. His response is…He’s your brother… I never… I mean, I never had a real sibling, obviously, but I do know that that’s not the way he’s supposed to act. Telling you that they would be disappointed in you was a low blow, like he was trying to say something to hurt you,” Parker admits and I shake my head.

“Bellamy wouldn’t say something just to hurt me. He's not like that, he’s… Well, he wasn’t like that. I feel like I don’t even know right now,” I admit out loud.

“I’m sure Bellamy and I will talk it out tomorrow. I’m… I know you hate it when I fake stuff but I’m not faking it when I tell you I’ll be fine. I just… It took me by surprise. I didn't want to be home because I didn’t want to say anything to hurt his feelings or that I didn’t mean,” I admit.

He looks like he wants to say something, like he wants to fight me on my thoughts but he holds his tongue.

“You’re okay?” he asks softly.

“I’m okay,” I nod, my tears dry on my cheeks.

“Can I get mad at you for a second now?” he asks and I furrow my eyebrows.

“You want to get mad at me?” I ask and he nods.

“Yes. I’m asking for permission to get mad at you right now, Brianne.” He turns away from me and starts pacing.

“I mean, you don’t really need permission to be mad at me, normally people just… do it,” I shrug once, criss crossing my legs as I stare at him from his bed.

“Well, I’d like to give you a warning and treat you like a lady and give you the option to tell me you can’t handle it or need me to hold it in until later,” he explains.

“Can I have a sweatshirt or something first?” I ask, still only wearing leggings and a leotard.

He passes me one of his plain hoodies, it’s stark white and so oversized it will swallow me whole which is perfect for right now.

“Okay, go ahead,” I give him the floor and he shakes his head.

‘“You’re infuriating, Brianne and you’re also… you’re selfish.” He points at me and my mouth drops in a slight gasp.

“Not in a normal way, in a way where you… you hide everything and keep it all to yourself and don’t ever share shit because you don’t want to burden anyone else and it’s selfish. I want to know. I want to hear it. I’m begging you,” he fights and I open my mouth but he shakes his head.

“I’m not done,” he stops me and I close my mouth and fight the urge to smirk. Mr. Never Speaks is talking a hell of a lot right now.

“You call me. Always. Do you understand that? When there’s something wrong, call me. When you just feel like talking, if you’re driving and you just want to feel like someone is with you, call me. I don’t care if we sit in silence on the line and don’t say a damn word, you call me always. Got that? I told you this… when I found you in the dance studio that night. I told you. Call me. Text me, be with me, or show up, I don’t care, because you’re the most selfless selfish person in the world. You don’t want the world to revolve around you so badly that you can’t see when someone is happy to revolve around you. I’m fucking stoked that you’re the sun and I’m any other damn planet there is rotating around you. So stop.” I watch him stand in front of me, freezing in place.

“Could you say please and maybe I’ll consider?” I ask and he looks at me with disbelief and then he breaks into a soft chuckle as he shakes his head.

His hands are on his exposed hips, the hard muscle that curves and creates his perfect chest is rising and falling as he tries to catch his breath after that.

“You’re such a brat,” he shakes his head.

“You’ve called me a brat, selfish, infuriating, and frustrating in the last hour,” I tell him.

“Well, that’s how you’re being,” he argues.

“And you’re being grumpy and mean to me which you never are…” I argue.

Parker’s jaw ticks.

“I’m not trying to be. It’s frustrating, you are…” he sighs and I hesitate.

“I—”

He cuts me off. Not with words but with a kiss. I breathe in his scent, kissing him back with harshness and all the want that’s been building inside of me for weeks. He breaks apart and puts his thumb over my bottom lip, touching me there.

“I’m sorry. If that was harsh or mean or too stern. I just… I need you to understand me when I tell you how important you are to me. I need you to believe me when I say it. You are not a burden. You are not too much for me. If everyone else makes you feel that way, so be it. Fuck ‘em. Don’t treat me like everyone else because saying this, voicing all of this to you, it has never been me but I know that this is what you need to hear so I’m doing it…. Please.” He has his eyes closed as he speaks.

“That was the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me,” I admit out loud.

“I don’t care if I’m romantic. I’m right," he admits.

My chest is still humming with desire that I know will go untouched tonight.

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” I admit. “I want… I want to let people in. I want to do that, it just takes some… adjusting. I showed up here, didn’t I? That’s a step in the right direction.”

“Can I get a few more steps?” he asks me and I brush my fingers over his chest, bringing my hands up to his neck and then his jaw.

“Hold my hand along the way and we’ll see,” I tell him.

He rolls his eyes but pecks my lips anyway, “Get in my bed… What do you want to do? Movie? Talk?”

“Are you willingly offering yourself up to talk? I swear I never would have thought that you—”

‘“Brianne… We’ve been over this. I’m not a talker but I’m not really anything to anyone who’s looking at me from the outside. Besides a football player—”

“Hot football player,” I correct.

“Okay, fine. I’m nothing but a hot football player on the outside and that’s what everyone thinks and I’m fine with that. I’m actually elated that no one knows any of the things that you know. Honestly, I’m happy to be learning. I actually like things I never liked before or thought I hated because I never had anyone to enjoy them with. Like yapping someone’s ear off and I’m great at it because I learned from the best. I also like music and dancing and I love driving a car and I really freaking like spending time with a girl that I’m about to beg to be my girlfriend again for the millionth time because she’s really cool and she smells like honey. I don’t need or want anyone else to know those things. That knowledge is yours and yours only. So be it.” He takes a deep breath after he finishes his speech and I cover my face.

“That was so cute,” I laugh.

“Add it to the damn list. Now are you going to let me talk all night or do you want to do something else?” he asks.

“You made me feel a lot better,” I admit and he blushes.

The hard cold exterior of Parker softens and melts as he smiles. I climb on top, moving my hands up to his face. His eyes search mine and I keep my lips together, not wanting to say anything that might ruin this. I don’t want to be rejected if I want him. If I need him right now in a way he’s not ready for. I know he wants the label. I know it matters to him but I also know that I don’t want it yet. I want him in every other way.

“You look like you want something, tell me.” He tilts his chin up as I straddle his lap.

“I want you,” I admit, my words are soft on my lips.

“I thought—”

“I know… I wanted to move slow and I regret ever asking for that. I do…” I admit.

He replies with a kiss, soft at first then harsh and needy, and then, I’m a puddle in his hands. I lean forward to take control of the kiss but he moves me so quickly I almost don’t know what just happened. I look around and he smirks.

“Throw me around, why don’t you?” I ask.

“You like it,” he challenges.

He’s right. I want to be nothing more than a damn rag doll when I’m in Parker’s bed but I don’t need him knowing that. My cards can’t all be played at once. I need some edge over him. His hands hold onto my waist and he raises his eyebrows as if asking for permission.

“If you’re going to ask if this is okay, the answer is yes. I don’t care what this is either, I just want it. You. Something,” I admit and he shakes his head.

“You should never agree to something if you don’t know what it is,” he tells me.

“But it’s you… I’m safe with you, always,” I fight back and watch his eyes soften to a degree I’ve never seen.

He tugs at my leggings and I let him, lifting my hips. I lean forward with the expectation to completely strip but he moves me again, flipping so he’s under me. I put my hands on his chest and shake my head.

“You’re trying to give me whiplash,” I fight back.

“I’m trying to give you an orgasm, actually,” he fights back and my jaw drops.

“You’re supposed to be shy and mysterious,” I urge.

“And you’re supposed to talk a lot but I plan to change that too in a second. Now can you make some room for me please?”

He inches my thighs further apart and I watch as he dips, moving his body between my legs. I’ve never in my life felt more exposed. I’ve also never in my life sat on someone’s face but I don’t think embarrassment is supposed to be the initial feeling.

“Parker, you don’t have to if… I mean it’s not something that you—”

His tongue is the first thing I feel and my words are replaced with a gasp, a low, barely sensible one that doesn’t even register in my brain. The only thing registering is pure pleasure and it’s coming from something absolutely sinful. It usually is the opposite. My mouth is the busy one and his is usually rendered speechless. But right now, there are no words. No way to speak when he works me the way he is right now. He’s making love with his mouth, his lips, his tongue, even his breath.

Parker’s lips are slow and teasing but at the same time, giving me any and everything I could have asked for. I don’t feel exposed anymore, I feel seen. I feel like Parker has done everything he can to know how to make sure I’m satisfied because I damn sure am. I shudder, my legs tensing when he brings one hand around the back of my thigh so he can grip me and hold me where he wants me. He takes his other hand, bringing it under, working his fingers and his mouth in tandem. His tongue flattens against me, his fingers pushing inside of me. The speechlessness is done for because there’s no way I can keep the moan inside.

For only a second, I think about the other people in the surrounding rooms, but the thoughts are gone when I feel Parker’s fingers curl inside of me. I shake, my body almost losing its control and composure all at once.

“Please…” I beg him, wanting release. Needing it.

I throw my head back when his tongue moves, unrelenting, needing. I pant, my breath so unsteady I might as well be running a damn marathon, then it’s over with. My pleasure turns blinding, white hot. I squeeze my eyes shut and feel my body react, my walls clenching around Parker’s fingers, my mind turning to absolute mush. I try to keep my hips still as I fall apart and Parker helps, holding me exactly where he wants me as he buries his face between my damn legs like he’s got bills to fucking pay. I breathe heavily and Parker moves up, bringing himself back to a sitting position. He smirks.

“What are you, proud?” I ask.

“Um, yeah?” he asks.

“You should be… My turn,” I mumble, my body still reacting, but not enough to make me incapable of inciting pleasure.

“You don’t have—”

“I said I wanted you and I got you in a way, but I want you in this way too… I don’t have to, but are you really going to look at me and tell me you don’t want your cock in my mouth?” I ask, keeping my voice sweet.

“I don’t think I could make it believable if I said I didn’t want that, but I don’t need it. I don’t need you to—”

“Do you want me, Parker? It’s not about necessity…” I admit.

“I want you, Brianne. Always,” he admits, his hand moving to my face so he can drag his thumb over my cheekbone.

“So, let me…” I start to move and he just watches, the hunger in his eyes so prominent and only growing when my hand slips under his waistband.

It’s dangerous. Feeling him, feeling for him. Anything with him because it’s all new territory… It’s all something I’ve never felt before. Fire, burning for someone, caring about them and their pleasure, wanting nothing more than to be with them, especially when I need someone. I push the thoughts away, and focus on him, just like he did for me.