Page 24

CHAPTER 24

TREACHEROUS (TAYLOR’S VERSION) BY TAYLOR SWIFT.

Parker Thompson:

My hands are sweating as we finally sit down. The sun is sinking and creating pretty colors in its wake. I knew I wanted to come to this specific spot to watch the sunset. Snow Lake is pretty no matter what time of day you show up. I knew that but the whole day was full circle. We woke up early enough to watch the sunrise and we’ll settle in early enough to watch it set too. It’s perfect. Brianne, for the first time all night, picks up her phone and I watch as she holds it up and shuffles through it. She presses it to her ear after a few moments. I sit quietly and listen.

“Hey, Belly,” she says. “Can you hear me? Sorry, the reception is really spotty right here.”

“Oh, I’m with Parker…” She instantly looks at me and then panics. “At the dance studio for our dance lesson. Then, I’m going to meet with Dakota and stay with him like I told you,” she catches herself and I don’t let myself smirk as I look down between us, getting ready to start a fire for the night.

“Yeah, sure,” she mumbles. “Parker, you're on speaker now.”

I freeze, hoping the shuffling noises surrounding me don’t make it obvious that we’re not in a studio on campus right now but instead in the middle of the damn woods two hours away from SPU, and no one but us knows that.

“Hey, Parky. So, no arguments. We’re all going on a mini vacation to Vegas. Since Griffin’s a newbie, he doesn’t have set guest passes for anyone and everyone except his mom, dad, and Jade, but he scored an extensive amount of VIP tickets for me, Kam, Lawson, Sienna, Bri and he said her boyfriend, but I’m sorry, B, the extra ticket is going to Parky. He’s got more to learn from being on the sidelines at a Raiders game,” Bellamy speaks out to all of us.

“Oh, that’s fine. I’m sure Dakota wouldn’t really care much about it anyway,” she admits, her eyes not looking toward me.

“How much?” I ask and Bellamy scoffs.

“Everything is paid. Hotel stays and flights, Griff pulled some strings. He said he had prospects that will be on the sidelines, potential future Raiders players if you will. I don’t know what he had to do to get this to happen, but it’s not negotiable. We have our game tomorrow night, then we’re leaving Saturday to spend the day and night in Vegas. We’ll go to the game the next day and then head home before we have to be in class on Monday, sounds good?” Bellamy asks.

“I… Yeah, that sounds perfect,” I mumble, not having another option, but also shocked he’d waste his extra pass on me. “Thank you,” I extend my gratitude and he chuckles.

“It wasn’t me, it was Griffin, but either way, this is going to be perfect. Brianne, as much as I don’t encourage it, make sure you have your fake ready. We’re all going out Saturday night to the Vegas strip, so bring something to wear,” he tells Bri but she looks at me to make sure I’m listening. I nod toward her.

“Okay,” I agree.

“Okay, I love you, but I have ballet to teach so…” Brianne hurries the conversation up and Bellamy chuckles.

“What I would give to see these lessons. You two have fun but not too much fun,” he tells us and I watch Brianne furrow her brows.

“I love you,” she speaks softly, her voice so different now compared to most days, compared to every other time I’ve heard her speak.

“I love you,” Bellamy hangs up first and she just clicks her phone off and looks up and out, her eyes set on the sunset surrounding us.

We’re on a soft peak that overlooks one of the many lakes. The mountains are surrounding us now fully. I’m surprised Brianne got service at all let alone enough to call Bellamy.

“What’s wrong?” I ask her and it takes a second for her to force her gaze away from the view in front of her.

“Nothing. Why would anything be wrong?” she asks, a small smile playing on her lips.

I eye her, catching any and every detail in this perfect light. She’s unexplainably pretty in any light, but this one… What do they call it? Golden hour, right? This is her best look. Slightly messy hair and bare-faced so I can see the plethora of freckles Brianne Archer wears like medals with so much pride and grace. I stare at the girl in front of me who normally talks more than she breathes, but she hasn’t spoken in hours since our hike started.

“You’ve been silent… And you look… I don’t know, you’re just not the way you usually are,” I explain.

“This is peace… Being out here. This is what it’s meant to be, silence and nature and beauty. This isn’t my space and I don’t need to impose on that. Not only that, but…” she hesitates and I look up at her, I’m sitting, trying once again to start our fire.

She’s standing, her ears now covered with the dark blue beanie I brought for her that almost matches the oceanic color of her eyes. Her cheeks are rosier than normal because they’re wind-bitten.

“What?” I ask and she shakes her head.

“I just haven’t felt like I need to fill the space. A lot of the reason why I talk all the time is because like I told you, I’m not a fan of silence. So when I’m anywhere or with anyone, I’d prefer the time to be filled with conversation. No time wasted, no words unsaid,” she explains. “Today, the past few hours especially, I didn’t need to say anything. At first, it felt odd but that weirdness melted away. I was comfortable with the quiet… with you and just being here. It felt right.”

She shrugs and then sits across from me. She cuddles into herself, wrapping her arms around her body.

“Are you cold?” I ask.

“Slightly,” she admits.

The fire is burning, the embers setting under the logs in the center. I get up and reach into my bag, taking out one of the sherpa blankets I brought. I packed some of my bag, but Xander was in charge of most of it. I enjoy hiking but his family was anal about going hiking as a family hobby, according to him. He said he could pack a camping pack better than a professional, so I let him. He was happy that I was allowing him to help me. According to him, that’s twice in one week which is a personal record. I rolled my eyes at that comment, to say the least.

“Here.” I wrap the blanket over her shoulders. “I probably should have asked you if you even wanted to go camping before I just brought you out here,” I tell her, a little bit of embarrassment hitting my cheeks.

“You’re not trying to kill me, are you?” she jokes and I smirk.

“How’d you figure it out?” I joke back.

“But why? Actually, why did you want to go camping?” she asks.

“Well, I thought the idea of being able to stay in the same area as you without our friends, roommates, or potentially brothers, around sounded appealing. Not that anything is going to happen, because it’s not. I just liked the idea of privacy, seclusion, and… and quiet,” I admit.

“Awe, you wanted to be alone with me,” she picks on me and I keep my face the same, no smirk or laugh even whispering my features.

She lets her smile fall and I raise my eyebrows at her.

“I’m serious. Of course, I want to be alone with you. Thinking about the other night, being with you the way that we were, and everything that happened, I wanted to kiss you too, Brianne. One of the hardest things in all of this is—”

“Keeping it from Bellamy,” she answers and I shake my head.

“Not even slightly. Lying to Bellamy isn’t hard for me because I don’t speak to him about my personal life. I don’t even think your brother knows about my family history or my roommates’ names. Bellamy knows nothing about me so, no. It’s not hard because it feels normal being secluded from him in that part of myself,” I admit.

“So, what is it?” she asks, shifting in front of the fire that’s finally starting to bloom in front of us.

“It’s remembering to have control and restraint. I’ve never been a physical person. Like having a person I try to reach for, that I actively want to touch when I’m around them. I don’t reach for people to hug them when I greet them. I don’t instantly want to swarm and hug my teammates when we win… But with you, it almost feels like second nature to reach for you, touch your hand when we’re walking. To kiss your forehead when I say goodbye or touch your cheek before I walk off. And I’ve worked so hard to keep soft small touches like that,” I admit, feeling insanely vulnerable. I instinctively crack my knuckles and she watches me do it.

“Is it because I said I wanted it to move slow? Is that not what you want?” she asks.

“I refuse to indulge in you until I’m sure that I’m worth that risk. Bellamy knowing about what I do in my free time is none of my concern but you and him are different. I respect the relationship you have with your brother. I know how important it is. I’m not going to cross that line again until I know that you’re sure about me. If he finds out and gets upset, I don’t want to be the reason in your head. I can’t be the person you blame if this goes south, so I want you to be sure,” I admit.

“So, it has to do with Bellamy?” She asks.

“Indirectly, yes, but more so you. I don’t want you to regret it. I think explaining what happened the night at the bar on your birthday would be a little bit easier than explaining it happened again and again. Of course, I know you’re going to tell him when you’re sure but I want you to be sure of me, and this before I let myself touch you in that way again,” I explain.

“What if I want you to though?” she asks.

“Then I’d say you’re a liar because it’s only our second date and turtles don’t move that fast,” I tell her and she smirks.

“Maybe when I said that I was hoping you would be horrible and not interesting or exciting,” she tells me.

“Surprise, I guess?” I joke and she laughs to herself.

“A happy surprise but I’m okay with you touching me… Or kissing me,” she tells me, her words soft over the crackling happening between us.

I don’t say anything, I just look at her head on through the flames. She stands up from where she sits and walks around the fire, planting herself next to me. I place my arm around her shoulder, pulling her small body into me. She looks at me, her face inches from mine. I shake my head.

“Not even one kiss?” She nudges her face forward, tilting her lips toward mine to give me the easiest access.

“Not even one,” I tell her.

“Do you need a title to be able to kiss me? Boyfriend?” she asks and I feel my lip turn into a smirk.

The idea of being her boyfriend or anyone’s for that matter feels so juvenile to me but I absolutely burn at the thought.

“I like the sound of that,” I tell her.

“What if I’ve never been too keen on labels?” she asks me.

“Then I’d tell you that I understand that but it’s important to me to know that you’re serious. I’d tell you that we’d both be doing a lot of things out of our comfort zone too,” I admit and watch her cheeks turn a deeper crimson.

“What if I told you… That I have a rule list and one of the main things on there is to not let myself be with you?” she admits and my jaw drops.

“You made a rule to not speak to me?” I ask her.

“Okay, to be fair, I thought that you used me at that point so, yes. I made a rule to never sleep with you again,” she tells me and I scoff, backing up so I can look at her in full.

“Brianne, I’m hurt. I want to see this list, hand it over,” I tell her.

“It’s hanging on the wall in my room thanks to Dakota. So, sorry,” she shrugs but I can tell she’s not actually sorry.

“Moral of the story, I’d like to make you my girlfriend… at some point. When you feel comfortable with that word, when you feel comfortable with me,” I tell her.

“I’ve never had something so… sweet,” she says the word like it’s foreign on her tongue.

“That’s surprising,” I admit.

“Why?” She asks.

“I don’t know… I guess it’s hard to differentiate what I see other people as compared to what they might see themself as. I see you as deserving of all of that and more… I don’t know,” I shrug.

“I think I deserve something sweet and cute. I just haven’t had it yet. Why do you think I’ve had so many boyfriends? I watched my mom and dad when I was young and how absolutely perfect they were and wanted that. Then, as Bellamy grew up, he was the perfect example of how a guy should treat someone he cares about. He was always the perfect person to every girl he was with… He got hurt so many times putting his heart on his sleeve for people who didn’t deserve it. I told myself that I wanted someone who loves like my role models. My parents and my brother. I deserved that. I’ve tried looking for it obviously and it hasn’t gone so well considering most guys are douchebags. I’m very hopeful that one day I’ll have what I want. What I deserve,” She tells me.

I’ve never wanted anything more than to prove to her I can be good… I’ve strived my whole life to be perfect. To be good, to be enough… I want that now. With her, I want it more than ever.

“I understand that but why don’t you like labels if you want something like what your parents have or Bellamy? Last time I checked, husband and wife are titles. And Bellamy is Kamryn’s boyfriend. Label,” I argue.

“Semantics. I have commitment issues to a degree. I have to be… Very sure. The first few boyfriends I had were horrible judgment calls,” she laughs to herself and I open my mouth to talk again but she stops me.

“And you, we skipped right over something. Physical touch. You… you don’t like it?” she asks me and I shake my head.

“Not usually, no. I never really grew up being hugged much. I mean, a lot of kids grew up with hugs and kisses and love from parents or caretakers or whatever. The most I really got was a pat on the back from a coach or a hug on the first day I met a foster family… So there’s not much room to grow up enjoying something you don’t understand. I never really understood why it was so sought after until you,” I admit, feeling my own cheeks burn.

“Is that a pickup line or are you being serious? Because it sounds like a pickup line,” she smiles up at me.

“It’s not. I’m serious. It was like a magnet. And it didn’t feel uncomfortable because with the exception of running into each other at the bonfire, every touch you gave afterward was intentional but careful and kind. It was on purpose and it was… sweet,” I use her words, watching her blush at the intent of it.

“So, I haven’t overstepped?” she asks and I shake my head.

“No. It’s not that I don’t accept physical touch. I understand that other people love it or strive for it. I just… I don’t. It doesn’t feel unintentional and weird when you touch me or hug me. Not like you’re doing it out of obligation. You’re doing it of your own free will,” I tell her.

“I don’t usually do things I don’t want to,” she tells me and I nod, despite how much I disagree with that statement.

She seems to be constantly doing things for everyone else, whether she wants to or not is a separate conversation, but she does. She’s a giver, sometimes more than I think she can handle. She’s got a very fake smile and a very real one. When I first met her, I didn’t know the difference. Then I went to her apartment for her birthday and saw the stark contrast. I saw what it looked like when I made her smile versus when she was pretending to be interested in something her brother was doing or her classmates said. I’ve seen her smile like that with Dakota. I’m sure she does smile like that with Bellamy too, but I haven’t seen it. I don’t think she sees or understands that there’s a differentiation.

I don’t blame Bellamy for that side of Brianne either. It’s her. She’s playing a part she thinks she needs to play. She pretends she needs to revolve around other people… like a moon. The moon doesn’t have its own light, it reflects the sun, but Brianne isn’t reflecting everyone else’s light. She is the goddamn light. I want to tell her that but I don’t want her to think I’m completely shitting on her brother. That’s not the intention but I do wish she could see what I do.

Being so quiet, it’s easy to pick up on things people don’t normally want you to see or know. People say things around you because they don’t remember you’re there or don’t care. They don’t think you’re listening, they don’t think you care at all. It’s interesting people watching when you portray yourself as a background character, or a place setting. There but not necessary. It’s made life simply easy and interesting in a slight way. I’ve noticed exponentially how much everyone around Brianne with the exception of Dakota underestimates her, including myself. She carries more talent in her pinky toe than I carry in my entire body. That’s not a simple feat. Brianne is a fucking force that’s done everything in her power to live in her brother’s shadow her entire life. And he doesn’t even see that she’s doing it…

“Why are you zoning out? Am I boring you?” she asks and I pull her into me tighter, putting her head on my chest.

“Not even slightly. This is exactly what I was hoping this would feel like,” I mumble.

“How is that?” she asks.

“Perfect,” I tell her.

“Perfection doesn’t exist,” she fights back.

“Whatever this is feels like perfection to me. It feels perfect and I’ve never felt perfect before,” I admit.

“You’re a romantic and a closeted dreamer,” she tells me and I snort a laugh.

“I guess that’s fine. I’ll accept it,” I shrug.

“No arguments?” she asks and I shake my head no.

“None. I’ll be whatever you want me to be, Brianne, especially your boyfriend,” I tell her.

“Is this you officially asking?” she asks and I nod.

“Yeah, it is. Be my girlfriend?” I ask her and she sighs, leaning into me.

“The title is appealing but not my speed. Turtle.” She motions two walking fingers.

“Turtles don’t kiss,” I tell her.

“I disagree,” she smiles up at me and I fight every urge to kiss the smile right off of her lips.

I wish. I want. I need. I can’t… I shake my head and lean over into the cooler part of my pack, pulling out our dinner for the night.

Brianne not feeling the need to fill up the space or silence gives a sense of comfort I never felt before now. I also feel comfortable in my quiet. I never really care at the end of the day how my silence or seriousness makes others feel. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to be around me. But knowing that someone is comfortable with it, with how I am, and finding comfort in that, it’s reassuring.

Brianne is not even slightly helpful when it comes to setting up the tent for the night. She does look incredibly pretty while she watches me do it, though. She said that she never asked to come camping so I shouldn’t expect her to do any of the work and she’s very correct in that sentiment. This was the activity I chose, so I don’t mind doing the work. She obviously doesn’t mind watching either considering the smirk on her lips as she does.

“Are we going to get mauled by a bear in our sleep?” she asks and I chuckle as the two of us climb into the tent, the fire simmering to nothing now.

“It’s a slim possibility, but it’s not a no,” I admit and she laughs to herself as she crawls into the corner toward her bag. She lifts her shirt over her head and I divert my eyes.

“Are you looking away?” she asks.

“If I’m not letting myself kiss you, do you think I’d let myself see you naked?” I ask her, my face turned away from her body.

“Prude,” she jokes.

“Tease,” I mutter back.

I’m sure if I looked at her, she’d be smirking to herself. Thank God I’m not looking at her because I might have folded. I keep my body turned away from her as I grab my own pack and reach into it for the sleeping bags I asked Xander for. I pull the first out and reach back in, but feel nothing. I take the rest of the contents out of my pack and use my flashlight to look inside.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I mumble under my breath.

“What? What’s wrong?” she asks and I look over my shoulder, see her skin and turn right back, groaning.

“Jesus Christ,” I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.

I’m going to have an aneurysm, I think.

“Sorry, sorry, there. Pants are on, sorry,” she tells me and I turn.

“Xander is fucking dead tomorrow when I get home,” I tell her and she furrows her brows.

“Why? What did he do now?” she asks, sitting criss crossed on the floor of the tent that’s padded with all of our blankets. I shake my head as I unroll the sleeping bag and find a note.

Have a great night Parks, thank me later (;

I crunch it in my fist and sigh.

“He purposely packed one sleeping bag like the dick he is,” I tell her.

“That was your first mistake. If I let Dakota pack my back for tonight all he would have packed was condoms, lube, and lingerie. Our friends have good intentions but the delivery is off,” she laughs it off like we don’t have an issue.

I clench my jaw, the muscles ticking as I stare down at the pack.

“You take it, I’ll just—”

“Is it not big enough for both of us?” she asks.

“I’m not…” I sigh.

“You’d rather freeze half to death than sleep next to me?” she asks.

“I’d sacrifice myself to sleep next to you if that’s what it took, but it’s about morals,” I remind her.

“You can’t have morals if you die of hypothermia,” she shrugs, taking the sleeping bag from me.

She unfolds the thermal material and crawls inside, showcasing that two people can comfortably fit inside. It will be close quarters, of course, but I know my stupid fucking roommate did that on purpose.

“You’re not helping,” I stare down at her and she shrugs.

“I only see one solution. Come on in, P…” she smirks to herself and I put every ounce of restraint I have to the forefront of my mind.

She’s not yours, you can’t kiss her. Remember that, you horny motherfucker.

I swallow, my throat feeling like sandpaper as I crawl into the sleeping bag, the heat growing exceptionally high. I’m not sure if it’s from the thermal material or the fact that my body is centimeters from touching Brianne’s in this stupid fucking sleeping bag. I grind my jaw and she stares at me.

“Cat got your tongue?” she asks and I clench my jaw and take a deep breath.

“You’re evil,” I mumble.

“I’m not doing anything.” She gets a hazy triumphant look in her eyes and I shake my head, staring at her.

“Goodnight, mind if I roll over?” she asks.

“Be my guest, just don’t—”

Before I can even speak, she turns her body, her ass brushing my groin before she scoots the single inch forward she can so she’s not touching me anymore.

“Oops,” she mumbles and cuddles into herself.

I try with every bit of power I have to stay exactly where I am because I know the second my fingers brush her skin, electricity will be coursing through my body. I feel her shiver beside me and I clench my jaw tighter. I’m just being nice. There’s no other intention behind this. I care about her and I’m being nice.

“Come here, you’re freezing,” I mumble.

I rope my arm around her torso and alleviate the distance between us. Her warm lush body is pressed to mine, her ass perfectly pressed against my dick that I am practically begging to stay exactly where it is. If we don’t move, I’ll be fine.

“So cuddling is fine but kissing is a no?” She looks over her shoulder.

“When you’re shivering in the sleeping bag and I’m burning up, then yes, cuddling is fine. Don’t pester me.” I reach around and turn her chin so she’s facing forward. She moves, rubbing her ass against me and I groan.

“Brianne Emily Archer, if you don’t stop…” I mumble against her ear and she giggles.

I feel myself hardening despite how much I wish I wasn’t and I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“You going to punish me?” she asks in a mischievous voice.

“Not my speed,” I grind the words out.

“I think you might have left the flashlight in your pocket… Something hard is pressing against me,” I can hear the joke in her voice which only ticks me off more.

“You’re pushing it,” I mumble, trying to focus on her scent and the softness of her breathing to calm myself down.

“I’m trying to,” she tells me.

“I’m well the fuck aware,” I mumble.

“I’ll stop,” she laughs to herself.

“Thank fuck,” I mutter and she gives us a tiny millimeter of space relieving some of the pressure.

“Goodnight, Parker,” she breathes out, turning herself around so her forehead is against my chest, her arm draped over my side and her legs tangled with mine.

Despite the fact that she’s innocently draped around me now, I’m still thinking about the way the curve of her ass felt pressed to me and I regret the choice I made that led me to this moment. Xander is getting punched tomorrow, to say the least, because while Brianne’s breathing evens out and she falls asleep… I can’t stop thinking about what it would have been like to kiss her until her lips felt numb. To touch her until my mind went fucking haywire… And I won’t know that. So now, my mind is a mess due to the girl tangled around me in our shared sleeping bag.