Page 30

CHAPTER 30

I CAN SEE YOU (TAYLOR’S VERSION) BY TAYLOR SWIFT

Parker Thompson:

I walk through the open door of Brianne and Bellamy’s apartment. There’s noise not only blasting in here but pouring into the hallway. Though their apartment is far more expensive than mine and much nicer, it’s still in a college town on Halloweekend. There’s a party on every floor of this apartment building. I feel slightly dumb being actually dressed up and even more dumb considering the only reason I agreed to do so was because I listened to Xander and Nico.

Nico was the most adamant that I wear a costume, specifically one where I’m not wearing a shirt to show off my best assets in his words. I take a deep breath as I push through the crowd, all of my roommates following behind me. I barely make it inside before I’m swarmed. Attacked is honestly a better word for what’s happening right now.

“PARKY!” Bellamy jumps on my back and Lawson is now attacking from the front. I open myself up to them knowing there’s no fighting it despite the normal lack of physical touch I prefer. I lightly shove the two of them off of me and take in their outfits. Bellamy is a… firefighter? I nod at the outfit, that’s definitely what he is. And Lawson is… A douche? I furrow my brows at him.

“What are you supposed to be?” I ask. He scoffs and slaps his hands at his thighs.

“Bambi! Baby, come here.” I hear him call his girlfriend over.

Sienna makes her way through the crowd spouting an insane amount of laughter, Kamryn trailing behind her. Sienna is in a pink bodysuit with neon leggings underneath. She’s… some sort of Barbie doll. Oh… Ken. He’s Ken, I get it now. Kamryn approaches me, pulling me in for a hug.

“Hi, Parker!” she cheers.

I can smell the alcohol on her breath, just like Bellamy’s. Kamryn pulls away and I see the spots on her all-white bodysuit. The white thing hugs every inch of her and it dips low too. I keep my eyes up and respect her and Bellamy by not looking past her neck. The dog ears and the makeup solidify the fact that she’s supposed to be a Dalmatian. Her and Bellamy’s costumes sync together in my head now, too. I wish I could have planned something with Brianne. Speaking of her… I look around and I notice Xander still by me. He eyes me and then leans forward and I wonder what the hell he’s doing until…

“Is your sister going to be here tonight, Archer?” Xander pulls off the perfect douchey attitude and I roll my eyes at it despite the fact that for once I’m happy for his interference.

“Ew. Are you trying to hit on my—”

“Shut up, Bellamy, let hot guys hit on your sister. Seriously, what do you think? That she’ll be a prude forever and not date or fuck or—”

“Kamryn, baby, you’re right, I get it but please think of your choice of words please,” he sighs.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” She bounces around him and he rolls his eyes.

“B is… Oh fuck no.”

His eyes catch and all of us, including Sienna and Lawson, turn. I see exactly what he was saying that to. Brianne fucking Archer looks absolutely and devastatingly perfect. She’s normally the person to wear looser fitting clothes, casual and fun because when she’s at dance or cheer she’s not able to do that… So seeing her here, right now… My mouth starts to water and I feel like I need to take the dog ears off of Kamryn and wear them myself because that’s what I’m acting like.

She’s wearing a tight corset bodysuit that fits her like a second skin. Her tits are… Her body is… Everything is fucking perfect. The body suit comes up over her hips, accentuating her waist and her perfectly muscular thighs. She’s wearing fishnets and boots. She’s also wearing a satin maroon robe with a sailor hat on. Dakota stands behind her shirtless with black pants on. He’s wearing a bow tie, suspenders, and bunny ears. Hugh and his bunny but reversed. She looks—

“God, I want to kill her sometimes,” Bellamy mumbles.

“Do not say anything rude. She looks hot,” Kamryn tells him.

“I’m not going to, it's just… Hard.” His jaw ticks and mine does too.

I get it to a degree, wanting to protect her, but that shouldn’t mean he hides her and shames her which is exactly what he does. He makes her feel like she’s an object which is so unlike Bellamy. He doesn’t see it the way anyone else does. He sees it as being a big brother or a protector. I wish he would find another way to do that.

“What was your name?” Bellamy leans into my roommate.

“Alexander. Xander.” He holds his hand out to Bellamy even though they’ve met on a few drunken occasions. Bellamy takes his hand and pulls him in.

“Don’t fucking look at my sister tonight. Any other day, sure, but not tonight,” he yells over the music and I clear my throat.

“Alright, how about a drink, Bell?” I ask him, pulling him away from my friend and wanting to throttle him all in the same move.

“Hey, guys.” I hear her voice and chills instantly coat my body. She looks at her brother. “Dalmatian and firefighter, cute. Xander, a skeleton, cute. Parker… Sexy cupid, I like it. Lawson, what are you supposed to be?” Brianne asks and I look to see him sigh and then reach around to turn Sienna. She turns and smiles at Brianne.

“Ahh! Bri, you look so pretty!” She smiles and then Brianne nods.

“Barbie and Ken, amazing.”

She gets it now, just like I did. I still haven’t moved past Brianne calling me sexy. Yes, it was in the title of my costume but that’s a minor detail. A win is a win.

“You look good, B.” Bellamy pulls his sister into a hug and I’m glad he can try his best to keep his thoughts to himself.

She’s stiff as she hugs him, still cold. He hasn’t told me anything about the fight they had, but he has no idea that she has.

“Thanks.” She pulls away and shifts, keeping her tone clipped. Her eyes hit me very quickly, but I see the plea in them. I nod.

“How about the drink?” I ask Bellamy again.

“Please. Come on Lawson.” Bellamy brings him with us and we ditch the rest.

Xander disappears right away.

“What was that about?” I ask, waiting for Bellamy’s explanation.

“What? Bri?” he asks me and I nod.

“That wasn’t the usual greeting I see between you two,” I add lightly, not wanting to seem like I’m prying.

“I fucked up a few days back… She’s barely been staying here and has been avoiding me since,” Bellamy sighs.

I furrow my brows, mostly because I didn’t think that was the response I was going to get. I know she hasn’t been sleeping at her house because she’s been sleeping at mine. Waking me up in the middle of the night, needing me to hold her so she doesn’t have anxiety attacks over this entire situation. I hate it for her but there’s nothing I can do besides be there for her… Or this, talk to her brother under the guise of a concerned friend, not a concerned… almost boyfriend. I cringe at the thought.

“Yeah, he definitely fucked up,” Lawson agrees.

“What did you do?” I ask, playing dumb.

“Me and my sister never fight. I don’t know how to have a conversation with her or how to… Talk about problems because we don’t have them. Ever. But there’s an obvious disconnect between us and I’m not fucking cool with it. I hurt her feelings really badly because I started to say something and… I think she thinks I was going to say my parents would be disappointed in her if they were here,” he finishes and I shift, knowing that’s exactly what she’s upset about.

“Well, what were you going to say?” I ask him.

“That they’d be disappointed in us knowing we got as close as we did and we’re fighting over something so small right now. That this wasn’t us at all… My parents would be over the fucking moon at the things we’ve individually done. I don’t want her to think that I think that…” Bellamy takes a drink from his solo cup and I shrug.

“Talk to her,” I tell him.

“I’ve tried but one thing about Bri is that she loves to talk, but the minute you mess it up or hurt her in any way, she’s really great at being quiet. She needs to process things differently. I don’t know. It’s usually better if I wait for her to come to me. That’s why this conversation even happened. She came to me and we got into it.” He shakes his head.

“She’s going to be fine. Bri is just swept up in college just like the rest of us were. Was Brianne your first priority your freshman year at SPU?” Lawson asks him and Bellamy sighs.

“She was still insanely important but I know I probably wasn’t the greatest brother,” he admits.

“Has she said anything during your dance class things?” Lawson asks me and I shake my head.

“She seemed more quiet and focused on Thursday, but we don’t really talk except about what I need to do better. She’s kind of bossy,” I tell them, lying completely about how she felt, definitely not about the bossy part. Bellamy smirks at my last words.

“I miss being as close as we were. It’s a huge fucking downer. This year has just taken a big blow to our relationship and you’re both right, we just need to talk,” he tells me.

There's loud cheering from the living room. I turn over my shoulder to see Brianne on the dining room table with Kamryn as well, the two girls dancing and singing loudly with the rest of the dancing group around them. Leah Ashley is laughing, dancing with Valerie and Brianne reaches in front of her, taking Dakota’s hand. She sings the words of Calling All The Monsters to her best friend and she looks happy again—that true happiness I know she has pouring outside of her that gets dampened so fucking often.

“She looks happy right now,” I tell Bellamy.

“Because she’s with him… Anytime I ask her where she’s going and she mentions going to see her boyfriend, she gets this fucking look. I’ve never seen her like this over a guy. It's weird,” he tells me.

“What do you mean?” Lawson asks, having not heard this yet either I guess.

“I mean that she’s actually into a guy as more than an accessory,” he jokes. “She’s dated guys and when she does normally, she just has them at arm’s length for whatever she needs. She’s just not… She’s not a relationship person. Friendships or boyfriends or anything. Not since our parents passed. It’s like she’s never trusted anyone to get close to except for me,” he informs both of us.

I wonder if there’s a slight jealousy there, but the thought is falling from my mind the second Lawson opens his mouth.

“Then maybe she’s falling in love,” Lawson tells us and I hope my cheeks aren’t burning fucking red like my chest is right now.

He’s never seen her like this like she’s falling in love… Is Brianne falling in love with me? Is it that serious for her? Because if it is, there’s a huge reason as to why that’s going to be a problem and he’s standing next to me right now. I take a deep breath, not wanting to give myself away. It’s also hard not to run through Bellamy’s words again. He is the only person she trusts. Ever. But now there’s me and I don’t take that lightly.

“Is that Bellamy’s sister?”

I turn to see one of our teammates standing next to me. He’s wearing a ripped-up white shirt smeared with fake blood. I have no idea what he’s supposed to be, but he’s going to be gone and away from me in two seconds depending on what he’s about to say.

“Yeah,” I speak out coldly.

“Isn’t she a freshman? Hanging out with Kamryn Hart isn’t a good idea, even if she is dating Bellamy,” he laughs and he’s speaking to another teammate of ours, not me anymore but I still heard him.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I ask, turning him toward me.

I don’t even remember his fucking name. Jasper, Jude, Jack? Who fucking cares.

“Chill out, dude. I was just saying if she hangs out with Kamryn she might pick up on some of those tendencies and start whoring around a little when her brother isn’t looking.” He starts to drink his drink and then stops.

“You know I wouldn’t mind it if I got some secret action. She’s hot,” he tacks on and I grab him.

“Do you want to fucking repeat that? Say it out loud again so I know I fucking heard you right,” I bark, holding his shirt in my fist and he looks confused and flustered now. “I said say it again, Jack.”

“My name is James,” he argues.

“I don’t give a fuck—”

“Wow, calm down, Parker. What’s going on?”

Lawson is the one who is trying to remove me from the situation, and Bellamy is right behind me too.

“Do not speak on Kamryn again and never fucking put Brianne’s name in your goddamn mouth like that either. You wish you could bag someone even close to either of them.” I break apart from Lawson and put my finger on his chest. “Say something like that again, especially about Brianne and I will end your career,” I say the words low enough that the others don’t hear. Just the boy in front of me.

“It was just a joke. Sorry.” He holds his hands up in defense.

“You’re a fucking joke,” I spit the words out as he walks away.

“What the hell was that about? I have never seen you angry enough to fight so what’s going on?” Bellamy asks, trying to get me to look at him.

“He said some stuff… about Kamryn and your sister. It pissed me off,” I shake my head, trying to not get angry all over again.

“What the hell do you mean he said shit about Kamryn and Bri? What the fuck did he say?” Bellamy’s anger wells and Lawson stands between both of us.

“No. You’re not getting angry and ruining the party. Parker handled it, just how you like, with his words. Didn’t you Parks?” Lawson asks.

“If he touches your sister I’m going to rip his throat out,” I tell Bellamy.

“Alrighty then,” Lawson sighs, not getting the answer he wanted.

“I’ll be first in fucking line. God, if he says one word to me he’s fucking done on the team. Benched the rest of the season,” Bellamy tells me.

“No, he just said it to me because I’m the quiet one. No one thinks I care about that shit or that I won’t tell anyone,” I explain.

“Well, thank you… For standing up for them.”

Bellamy puts his arm over my shoulder and I flinch at his touch. It wasn’t for you. It was for her. I think the words and want to say them out loud. I want to just tell him everything right here, right now, but I know I’d be the one getting the cold shoulder from Brianne if I made that choice for us without her input and probably a punch in the mouth from Bellamy.

“I need some air…” I tell him and break off, not waiting for a response.

I go through their apartment and head up the stairs to get some space. I run my hands through my hair and turn back around knowing there’s nowhere to even go up here. I just—

I almost run directly into Brianne when I turn back around.

“Shhhh.” She yanks me into her bedroom and I almost lose my footing at her strength. She shuts the door and locks it and I look behind her.

“They’re going to notice we’re both gone at the same time,” I tell her.

“Dakota and Xander are on brother duty,” she tells me and I shake my head, turning away from her.

“What’s wrong? Why are you mad? Did I do something?” she asks quickly.

“I really really like you, Brianne.” I turn around after blurting my feelings into the air.

“I… I really like you, Parker.” She lets a whisper of a smile grace her perfect lips and I stare at them.

“I'm mad that I can’t like you in public or outwardly. I feel something and I don’t want to scream it from the rooftops but it would be nice to tell someone not to talk about my girl instead of saying ‘Hey, that’s his sister, shut up.’ It would be nice to get to stand next to you without pretending you don’t exist,” I explain.

“I’m sorry…” She gets smaller at the admittance. “Soon… We can tell him soon but we need to really figure it out. We can’t be stupid about it,” she explains.

She sits on the end of her bed and I stare at her, the excitement and feeling in my chest starting to vibrate.

“Does this mean you’ll let me call you my girlfriend?” I ask her.

“Are you asking?” She smiles.

“I’ve been begging for weeks,” I clarify.

“I don’t know. I feel like it would be almost rude to ignore my rule list when it’s hanging right there,” she explains, nodding her head to a piece of paper push-pinned to her wall.

I walk around her and toward the list. I take it off the wall and scan her room until my eyes land on a pen at her desk. I grab it and write another rule.

10. Ignore rule number 5 and 6 in relation to Parker Thompson. He is excluded. - Parker.

“There. No need to feel bad.” I hand her the list back. “And for the record, it wasn’t the tequila that made your clothes come off, it was me. Come here.”

I reach for her and bring her to her feet, breaking the space between us. I feel so wrong doing this here when I know her brother is below us and he can’t know right now. But she feels so fucking right. She extends her neck and tilts toward me, giving me every ounce of access to her lips. I kiss her indulgently and she sighs at the touch and the kiss. I melt. God, my restraint is fucking thinning. Not tonight. Soon, but definitely not tonight.

“Boyfriend… I don’t have a good track record with those,” she whispers the second we break up.

“Then fuck all the past boyfriends and we can pretend I’m the first,” I tell her.

“You just want the satisfaction that I’m solely yours,” she laughs and I nod.

“Wrong. I don’t want to own you or make you mine… But I damn sure will keep pieces of you, just for me,” I mumble, debating whether or not I can handle kissing her again or it will make me melt into a puddle on her bedroom floor.

Girlfriend. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never had someone or something that’s considered mine, that I can consider a part of me. Someone is actively choosing me. This is mine. It’s ours. It feels fucking spectacular.