Page 36

CHAPTER 36

DIRTY LITTLE SECRET BY THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS

Two Weeks Later

Brianne Archer:

Sitting in the front seat of Bellamy’s Jeep with Parker sitting in the back alone next to our suitcases and luggage for the weekend was not what I was expecting, but that’s what we’ve got. I sit with a heavy feeling in my chest, still knowing that I was at Parker’s apartment having a game night with him and his roommates. Bellamy has no idea where I’ve been or what I’ve been up to despite the fact that we promised no more secrets. He’s been insanely open with me about Kamryn and his fears about his future, about how much he loves her, and how much he cares for her. He asked me if I was okay with her moving in with him after Christmas… If she says yes, of course. I told him of course. Kamryn is spending Thanksgiving with her parents in northern Washington. Bellamy and I are driving to our old home, now our grandparent's house…

It’s late. We waited for classes to end for all of us and had a Friendsgiving with Kamryn, Lawson, Parker, Me, Dakota, Bell, Sienna, and even Griffin and Jade came home to celebrate with us. It was really special, but now, we’re headed home despite how late it is. Bellamy wanted to go tonight so he could sleep in his old bed. I look in the rearview mirror, once again seeing Parker back there, not paying attention to us but looking out the window at the neighborhoods that pass by.

I brought it up to Bellamy that Parker had mentioned some of his past during our lessons. He was beyond confused by it and how he was never aware. It’s crazy to me that Bellamy considered him a friend and didn’t know he was in the foster system. Parker is closed off with most everyone else so I guess it makes sense, but… I let that cat out of the bag. In a friendly way, I told Bellamy that I didn’t like the thought of Parker staying on campus for Thanksgiving when we had plenty of room for him or anyone else who wanted to join. Bellamy was more than happy to invite Parker. Parker was not so happy with me for telling Bell, but I… I don’t want someone I care about to be alone on a holiday.

So now, we’re driving home and I didn’t really think this part through. The whole of Parker meeting my family without being able to introduce himself as my boyfriend, but instead as Bellamy’s teammate and friend. There’s a bitter taste in my mouth at that, but it’s my fault that it is this way. I told Parker that the holidays were special to me and Bellamy and I didn’t want to jeopardize that, so we agreed to tell him afterward. After the holidays, we’re going to tell him. I’ve promised myself that.

“Should I know anything before I meet your family?” Parker asks us the second Bellamy turns into the neighborhood.

“No, they’re normal grandparents just like anyone’s. Just act normal,” Bellamy tells him and I want to smack Bellamy’s arm.

There is no normal for someone who’s not usually around family.

“My Gam is sweet. She’s quiet, an observer. My PawPaw is kind and funny. He’s sarcastic and jokes a lot so, yes, prepare for that. He can take what he dishes out, but I warned both of them that you never talk. They don’t expect much, just kindness. Try to smile, I know you’re not good at that,” I joke.

“You’re mean,” Parker tells me.

“And bossy,” Bellamy chimes.

“And you talk too much,” I mimic Bellamy’s voice and he smirks.

“How did you know I was going to say that?” he asks.

“Predictable,” I smirk with a knowing smile.

Bellamy pulls into the house and Parker looks awestruck. I can understand it. Our house is… It’s a privilege, to say the least, that we got to grow up here, even if it was without our parents. That privilege doesn’t surpass me any time I think about this house.

“Welcome home, Parks,” Bellamy tells him as we get out of the Jeep.

I reach for my bag but Parker snatches it out from my hands before I can. He pretends to be indifferent, pushing around me to follow Bellamy. I smile to myself, imagining what he’s probably thinking or what he would say out loud if he could. He’d probably say, ‘Brianne, lay a finger on that bag and I’m going to be pissed.’ Then, I’d tell him I can do it myself. Then, he’d tell me, ‘I know you can, but you don’t have to.’ I keep the smile etched on my face at the make-believe conversation.

“Bell? Bri Bri?” I hear my Gam’s voice and perk up.

“Coming in!” I yell out to her.

The house smells just like home. I see straight ahead to my bedroom on the first floor. It’s a branch out from the living room. Across from mine is the guest bedroom. Bellamy’s room and my parent's old bedroom which is now my grandparent's bedroom is upstairs as well as another guest room that was turned into an office and TV room for my grandparents when they don’t feel like coming downstairs. So that means Parker will be staying right next door to my bedroom… Easy access that no one even knows about. We walk around the large staircase and surpass the hallway. My bedroom and Parker’s makeshift room are on into the living room.

“Hi, Gam.” I hug her so tight and barely break away from her before my PawPaw is hugging me.

“Oh, I missed you, kid.” He hugs me so tight and I squeeze him tight.

“Who’s this?” My Gam asks and I look over my shoulder. “You mentioned you were bringing a friend home, I didn’t know your friend would look like a professional football player like the rest of them,” she jokes and Parker’s cheeks turn pink.

He doesn’t often show emotion, especially not embarrassment because his face is a mask. But right now, he is and I can’t help but smirk.

“Gam, this is Parker, one of my best friends,” Bellamy speaks out and I watch Parker’s eyes slide to me then back to my grandparents. He extends his hand to shake my PawPaw’s hand.

“It’s an honor to meet you both. I’ve heard so much from both Bellamy and Brianne,” he tells them and I watch my Gam blush. I haven’t seen her do that in years.

“Well, all three of you get settled in for the night. The rest of your family is coming in tomorrow morning for the holiday,” Gam tells us and I smile.

“Goodnight, Gam. Night, PawPaw,” I tell them.

“B, will you show Parker his room and everything? I’m really tired,” Bellamy asks as our grandparents retire up the stairs.

“Yeah, sure. Goodnight, Belly.”

I hug my brother around the neck and he squeezes me tightly.

“Night, man.” Bellamy bro hugs Parker and then he leaves too. I turn and look up at Parker with a deep breath and he smirks.

“Lead the way, Sunshine,” he whispers and I dip my head toward the floor.

“You can leave those bags there,” I tell him, coolly, not sure who’s listening.

I lead him through the living room and into the large kitchen. I show him around and tell him where the drinks are in the outside and inside fridge. I show him my favorite spot, the sunroom that’s far too cold to enjoy usually, but my grandparents put a heater in it last year so it’s not anymore.

“Did they put the heater in for you?” he asks me and I nod.

“I was so happy they did it too. This is where I did my homework. I ate all my meals here. My mom would do arts and crafts with us out here when we were kids. There’s just a lot of fond memories here,” I tell him.

I then lead him out and back through the living room and toward the very small hallway we passed on the way into the living room. I open the guest bedroom first. The house is pin-drop silent. I stand in the doorway as he walks in.

“Your room for the weekend,” I tell him.

He sets his duffle on the ground and turns, my duffle still on his shoulder. “I can take my bag now if you want,” I tell him and he scoffs, a smirk on his lips as if to say ‘You’re joking.’ He nods.

“What, you don’t want to show me your childhood bedroom?” he asks and I roll my eyes.

“This bedroom is far from my childhood bedroom. It’s basically the same as my room on campus,” I tell him, turning around.

“I don’t care, I still want to see,” he tells me and I open the door across the hall.

I open the door and turn on the lights, feeling like it’s been a million years since I’ve been inside this room. The last time I was here was the first day of school, and even then, I didn’t go into my room. I look around and turn back to Parker. He’s looking at everything too as he sets my bag down. I sit on my queen-sized bed and cross my ankles, staring at him.

“Was it everything you were expecting?” I ask.

“More than that,” he tells me. I look at him expectantly as he slowly saunters toward me.

“I didn’t like having to do that,” he mumbles, nudging his way between my legs, standing with his knees pressed to the edge of my bed.

His hands brush my hair back and move to hold my face and jaw.

“Doing what?” I ask.

“Getting introduced to them for the first time as anything but yours,” he whispers, his fingers dipping under my chin to tilt my face up to him. I press a smile into my lips. “Don’t… Don’t do that. I know it bothers you too,” he tells me and I nod.

“It does, but not as bad as it bothers you. It won't be that way soon. We talked about this…” I tell him and he gives a single nod.

“I know we did,” he answers gruffly and I see the tension in his jaw and his shoulders. This is how it’s been anytime things have felt… Odd when we’re around Bellamy. He leans down and gives me a sweet and soft kiss before backing away from me.

“Goodnight… Come wake me up in the morning,” he tells me and I nod.

“Stay… For a little bit…” I offer and he freezes and sighs.

“You know that would be a horrible idea for a lot of reasons.” He looks over his shoulder at me. I know all the reasons he thinks are horrible are the exact reasons that they would be great in my own mind.

“I think you’ve got a lot of tension that needs relieving…” I change the timbre of my voice and watch even more tension and tightness seep into his already taut muscles. Perfect.

“There’s three reasons right upstairs as to why we shouldn’t,” he tells me.

“And there’s always at least two reasons as to why we shouldn’t… But you weren’t saying that the other day when you slept over without either of them knowing,” I explain and he sighs.

“Brianne…” He raises his eyebrows at me, turning to look at me fully.

“Parker…” I kick my shoes off and take my jacket from my body as well.

“I’m… I’m going to my room,” he tells me with his jaw clenching so hard after that I’m afraid it might break.

I watch him reluctantly turn and close my door. I stand up, walking forward, about to close that distance, and meet him in his own room but I stop myself in front of my closed bedroom door. He’s partially right. It would be reckless for us to do anything tonight. His coming in here in the first place to kiss me was already a risk but…

The past two weeks since we crossed that line together it’s been filled with… with exploration and passion and… And honestly, Parker hasn’t given me or my poor vagina a break. Not that I’m complaining because he’s a fucking champ in bed just like he is on the field but it’s like something was unleashed the second we let each other win two weeks ago.

I’ve always enjoyed the act of sex. I’ve always tried to have fun and explore slightly depending on who I’m with. But comfortability is a huge part of that and I’ve never felt as comfortable with any of my past sexual partners as I do now with Parker. It’s… It’s easy to ask from him because I know he’s more than willing to participate in anything and everything. And he’s very much a giver in a sexual sense. He enjoys that more than anything from the way he talks about it and caters to me. I’ve never had a sexual partner more… Honestly perfect than Parker. I bring my hand back from the door and decide maybe I should just rest tonight and- The door handle turns and opens.

Parker closes the door with his foot and kisses me with his hands threaded in my hair, tugging and pulling at the root in such a way that I might turn into a puddle in his massive fucking hands. It’s a mix of panting and heavy breathing until my knees hit the bed and I slip down, my butt hitting my mattress. He follows, catching himself with his hands on each side of my body.

“You said—”

“I know what I said but I want you in the worst fucking way,” he mumbles and kisses me again, sending electric shocks all the way through my body.

I wouldn’t be surprised if lighting and stars were shooting out of me just from the way his body and lips feel against mine. I never falter when it comes to kissing him. My lips have a memory of their own and they’ve taken extra caution in remembering every perfect curve of Parker Thompson. The way he moves, the way he gasps, the way he bites and nips at me. The way he speaks against me when he’s asking or begging or pleading. I could never forget it no matter how hard I tried.

“You know I can’t have you the way I want you,” he whispers, bringing his hands from the bed to my hips.

His thumbs press into my hips and I fight the urge to whimper from the pressure.

“Then what way will you have me?” I ask him.

“In a way that’s going to make this weekend absolute torture until we can go back to my apartment…” he admits and my cheeks blaze.

I open my eyes and he tugs me from the bed and unbuttons my jeans. He tugs them, not giving me a chance to even breathe before he’s crouched down, taking them all the way off of me. He nudges me back to the bed and makes his way on it with me. He kisses me again and he groans himself at the feeling of my lips. Just his kiss is building pressure in my stomach and lower abdomen. I’m squirming under him, half his body weight leaned over me.

“Tell me,” I urge.

“I want to touch you. I want to feel you,” he tells me and I let out a rasped breath against his lips.

“Please,” I mumble and he kisses me again, brushing his hand down my stomach and over my underwear.

I know he feels the dampness that built just from my own traitorous thoughts. I’d been wanting him but knew the likelihood was slim.

“Shhhhh,” he tells me, his lips skimming mine, his finger brushing over my clit through the cotton of my underwear.

I fight every urge I have and he pushes my underwear to the side, letting his fingers explore me, touch me, and feel me until brings them to the most sensitive bundle. I let out the breath I was holding and he watches me. He always watches me, he treasures me with his eyes and I don’t hesitate to recognize that. He moves his hand slowly and the second he plunges his fingers inside of me he covers my gasp with his kiss and I thank him for that. His fingers are dangerous and absolutely devastating to my mental and physical health.

He curls them and I can’t help the physical reaction, I know he felt the way my body moved to his perfect movements. He moves, gaining leverage over my body. He uses his other hand and brings it down to me, moving his fingers in torturous circles over my most sensitive spot. I pant, fighting to breathe at the building feeling in my stomach. It’s easy to feel with him. To let my body react in a way I’ve never known with anyone else.

“Come on… I feel you, let it go,” he tells me, coaxing me to the edge.

I feel the pressure build inside to an all-time high and I hold in my moan, whimpering at the feeling. He takes the feeling as his signal, the contracting pleasure he can feel wrapped around his fingers.

“Watch me… See what I do to make you cum,” he tells me and I open my eyes listening to him.

I watch his hands, feeling insanely inappropriate as I do but feeling the heat spread all over my body as I see what he’s doing to me. He turns his palm up to the sky, curling his fingers and moving them faster. It’s hard to not fall into oblivion at this point. It’s hard not to snap my eyes shut and feel the crushing orgasm that only his hand is bringing me but I somehow manage to watch, and he manages to ring every ounce of pleasure out of me while I do. I am breathless by the time he retracts his fingers from me. He pulls himself forward to me and I reach for him but he stops my hand, and kisses my fingers.

“The second you put a hand on me there’s no chance I’m going to leave this room tonight, Sunshine,” he admits and I look at him with fire in my eyes.

“Maybe that sounds perfect,” I tell him.

“I’d tell you that you might have hit your head or gone crazy because that’s not happening,” he tells me and I roll my eyes.

“You’re such a good boy, aren’t you?” I ask him and his eyes darken.

“So good that I’m going to think about you cumming on my fingers when I fix this issue…” He takes the hand he stopped and moves it down to his groin.

I palm the large erection and I know he sees the surprise on my features.

“And I want you to take care of yourself again tonight when you get restless from that thought… That I’m across the hall wishing I was inside of you.”

He leans forward and kisses me, then he’s gone. I curl my knees to my chest and feel guilty. Not for Parker but for what we’re doing. I feel guilty every single time. There’s purpose in our passion. We aren’t doing what we do without reason. The reason is that we can’t keep our hands or eyes off of each other. I refuse to admit what that could mean. I refuse to say the word that I’m thinking in my mind when it comes to the man across the hall. Not until my brother knows. Not until he can understand that it’s not fickle it’s… It’s love. I love Parker. So fucking much. I’m scared of that. Because that’s not a word that I use loosely. It’s not a word I throw around to anyone. I can name every person I’ve ever told that I love them. Parker isn’t on that list because I haven’t told him. Because I’m terrified to do so which solidifies my feelings even more in my head. But right now all we are is a secret. Not a love story. Nothing more than whispers and closed doors. Nothing more than that until we can come out with it. With all of this.