Page 49

CHAPTER 49

YOURS BY ALEXANDER 23

Parker Thompson:

I straighten my suit jacket and fix my hair. I cut it, the man bun is no more but it is still long enough to flow back. I had let it grow just to see if I could. But the second I decided I wanted to go to her recital I cut it back to this length, the length I had when we were together. Because she said she wasn’t into man buns. I remember having a conversation about that. It always made me laugh.

“Xander…” I call my friend and he leans into my room.

“Are you ready, Pookie?” he asks.

“I don’t know. I don’t think she’s ready. For me, for us. Bellamy never texted me about them having a conversation but he has kept me updated. Saying her and Dakota are friends again. That she’s been happier, actually happy. But she has no idea I’m going to be there.” My chest heats at the thought.

“So, why are you going again?” he asks.

“Because, even if I can’t have her, I'll support her. I know this is important to her so it’s not about me but I still want to be there… I’ll just stay unnoticed and unseen,” I tell him.

“I honestly thought you might just try and move on… Now that everything is a little more calm in your life.” He tells me and I look at him, furrowing my brows. I narrow my eyes now and he cracks into a smile. “I’m kidding. You’re on your hands and knees for her,” he tells me and I shake my head.

“Shut up. I have two words. Leah and Ashley.” I give him a fake smile and he rolls his eyes.

“She hung out with me the night we picked Bri up from the bar,” he fights.

“No, she didn’t. She tolerated you,” I clarify and Xander shrugs.

“You actually have no idea what’s going on. Anyway, you need to leave now if you want to be on time. Not that it would matter considering she has no idea that you’re there.” Xander shrugs. I grab my keys and my phone.

“Can you let me know…” Xander follows after me..

“Let you know what?” I ask.

“If you have a magical high school musical moment where she sees you from the audience and you fall in love all over again and—”

“You’re annoying me, goodbye,” I cut him short and he groans.

“I hope you guys get back together so you’re less grumpy.”

I close the door in his face and head out.

* * *

I did exactly as I planned. The concert hall is packed with friends and family. I notice Dakota with the whole group of cheerleaders near the front. Leah and Valerie included. Then I see Bellamy and Lawson’s head sticking out of the crowd with Kam and Sienna too. I didn’t make myself known to either group, not wanting a problem or a scene. I sat on the balcony area away from everyone so that I could make sure I wouldn’t be seen by friends, family, or Brianne.

The lights go down and the first few dances are different trios and group numbers but I don’t see Brianne at all. I look at the program and my fingers trace over her name next on the scheduled dances. The name of the dance is in French and I have no idea what it means. I assume it’ll be a ballet piece. I get excited seeing stuff like this especially from her because I’m faintly familiar with the art. The tiny bit of training I had makes it fun to watch. More fun I should say. The faint piano starts, the music soft and light. My breath leaves my chest though.

I’ve seen Brianne in her dance clothes. I’ve seen her warm up in her tights and leotard. She’s sent me photos in her all black with her leg warmers and warm ups on which she looks stunning in. But I’ve never seen this. She’s perfect. A piece of art. She’s wearing a soft blue tutu that stands straight out and shows off her toned legs that are covered in the softest pink tights. Her torso and chest are covered in diamonds and gems and it looks like her skin is covered in a sheer layer of diamonds and sparkle. It could be the lights or her makeup I have no idea. That’s another part of it. Her makeup is done differently than she does in cheer or daily. She looks flawless. Airbrushed. Not even real. Her brown hair is secured in a tight bun and there’s a crown atop her head.

She dances with precision I’ve never seen before. Not from her classmates. Not online. It could come from ignorance or just complete infatuation but no one does it like her. The way she moves is inspiring. Inviting. I watch as she leaps and turns and makes the stage her own in a tight and elongated way. Her tail is tucked, her body is elegant and long and she’s done everything she taught me and then some. If I hadn’t met her. Touched her, held her… I’d question if she was even real. She exits the stage and I instantly clap, bringing my fingers between my lips to whistle for her. Proud is an understatement.

Just as I had last time, I watch in silence once more, waiting and counting down the numbers until she’s back on the stage. I noticed that this song is in english. It seems casual and modern which makes me question if this will be one of the styles she prefers. Lyrical. That’s what she had called it. I know she said that was her favorite so I eagerly wait, wondering what she will be wearing this time. What she will look like.

When she emerges again she’s angelic. Perfect. Her hair is partially down, the other half slicked up and in a ponytail. The blue sheen and sparkle is gone from her skin, but she’s still ethereal in the stage light. She’s wearing white flowing pants and a white top that has large bell-like sleeves. They flow, like waves. Like ribbons.

The song once again starts with piano. And the second she starts moving and the lyrics make their way to my head, and my heart I feel like I did that day when I found her in the studio. I feel like I’m intruding as I look at her, the way she moves like water and the facial expressions she emotes breaks my heart open. I follow her every move like it’s the end all be all of my life and I’d do it again and again anytime I saw her dance. Brianne’s body is made of magic when I watch it move in this way. I’ve seen it every single way, but seeing her do something she loves. Something that makes her who she is. It’s far more enticing and attractive than I could even express.

I have no idea who she’s seen. What she’s done. Who she even is now. It’s been months without speaking to her. And things can change in a matter of days. So months… Months are like a lifetime. But I want happiness for her. I want her to do this forever. To dance like she’s giving every part of her to the stage and dance floor. I want her to have people like Dakota and Leah… She does a flip, one with no hands and she lands then folds her body into herself, curling like she can’t take it anymore and my chest clutches. I swear it’s like I stop breathing altogether at the beauty that she is. That she’ll always be. Then she’s gone, exiting the stage.

There’s silence over the entire auditorium. For a few moments no one speaks, no one even breathes, all of us feeling the same thing from that performance. I pause and then someone next to me starts clapping. Then we all do. We all move, clapping and cheering and whistling.

“She was beautiful.” The little girl next to me tells her mom, tugging on her shirt. I watch the kid smile wide and I feel my chest tighten again, wishing I could tell Brianne about this moment. That she’s going to have kids looking up to her for the rest of her life with the skill she possesses. I’m in awe of her…

There’s another group number that happens after her performance and she’s in this one. Smiling and working with the 13 other dancers in her company. That’s what she said they were called. Not a team which she corrected me on very quickly after I had said it. Then everyone does their bows and she looks absolutely gorgeous as she waves and smiles a million dollar smile. Everyone gets up to leave and I head for the exit, instantly panicking when I get stopped up trying to get out of the hall.

It takes me what feels like forever to get down the stairs and into the auditorium lobby. But it’s madness. Considering it was a recital for every single class of dancers at SPU there’s a lot of family and friends packed into this lobby. I try to stay close to the wall and squeeze past everyone, but there’s a hand on my shoulder and my chest fills with liquid hot panic.

“Parker?” The question in her voice makes my heart jump.

I could pretend I don’t hear her but I know that she saw me. I slowly turn. Then she’s face to face with me.

“Step outside.” She nods and I do, turning around to walk right out the doors I’m next to.

Anxiety rumbles through me but I keep myself calm and collected on the outside as I turn, finally looking at her in full. She stands at the perfect height. The perfect height for me to reach out to her, to touch her face to run my fingers through her hair. I’ve never been affected by someone like this. When they haven’t even said anything but my damn name. But I’m at her will right now. I’d get on my hands and knees and grovel at her feet if she asked. I show none of that on my face or in my body language. I just look at her and wait.

“What are you doing here?” she asks with wonder and surprise in her voice.

“You weren’t supposed to see me. I just wanted to see you. To support you…” I admit.

“How would I know you were supporting me if I didn’t see you?” she asks.

“Well, today isn’t about me or anyone else. It’s about you. I wasn’t going to cause anything by being here… I just wanted to be here for you, Sunshine.” I let the nickname slip out and I hesitate. “I’m sorry,” I mumble.

“It’s fine.” She looks down, tension between us.

“Can I talk? Without anything holding me back… Just for a second?” I ask.

“Go ahead,” she nods.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful. And that was incredible. All of it. And I’m proud of you… How far you’ve come even since I saw you last semester you were… I don’t know how to put it. But you were just perfect.” I tell her and then I see her cheeks blush. I see her smile. And I see only a few of the reasons I fell in love with her. Which still sits heavy on my chest, not being able to say those words.

“There you are, B…” Leah Ashley walks out and her eyes hit me skeptically. “Bellamy is about to be out here. I think he and Kam wanted to take pictures.” She tells her, eyeing me.

“You have to go,” Bri tells me quietly and I nod, pretending it doesn’t sting. “I’m sorry. God I’m sorry. Thank you for coming it… Seriously you don’t understand what it means to me, but I don’t want Bellamy to… I mean things are starting to be normal and…” She trails off and I clench my jaw, understanding.

She doesn’t want her brother to think anything.

“It doesn’t have to be like this…” I tell her and she shakes her head.

“It does… I’m sorry, Parker.” She turns away from me and I kick myself for even being seen at all.