Page 38

CHAPTER 38

BEST FRIEND BY CONAN GRAY

Brianne Archer:

I burst through the doors of my apartment and Bellamy is already home. I charge the floor and jump onto him, attacking my brother. He’s laughing I think. I can’t hear, I can barely think. This is something my brother has dreamed of. I remember when I was young when we were all together as a family he would tell our parents he would win that award one day. He and my dad watched the award ceremony every year. He really cared about it. Even without it, Bellamy is going to be far more successful than most college football players ever will, but it’s not about the success of it. It’s about the fact that he measures himself with this award. This is something he’s thought about for longer than imaginable.

“You fucking did it! I’m so proud of you.” I squeeze him, feet off of the ground, my body embraced by him.

“It doesn’t feel real, B…” His words aren’t stable in the slightest.

“It’s real! It’s real and you’re a Heisman winner and Mom and Dad would be so proud of you,” I tell him and then break off. “Pop the fucking champagne oh my god!”

I shake his shoulders and he looks past me. I turn and see the rest of the crew walking in, joining Dakota. My heart sinks at the thought… What they know. Parker walks in with them too, having decided to ride with Kam instead of me. I’m sure that went well… I don’t miss the harsh look Lawson gives Parker as he passes by.

“Congratulations you fucking legend.” Lawson steals him away before Kamryn can, bringing him into a bear hug.

“Give me my boyfriend.” Kamryn rips Lawson away as if he’s not already a foot taller than her.

“Your girlfriend just manhandled me,” Lawson complains.

“You deserved it,” Kamryn tells him, and Lawson moves to his own girlfriend.

“You guys look amazing…” Bellamy looks around, hugging Kamryn back.

I feel a hand on my back and I turn over my shoulder to see Dakota by my side. I don’t know why I had to check who it was. Of course, it’s not Parker… my chest is tight as my eyes meet Lawson’s, judgment on his face toward me and Dakota. This next month is going to be hell on earth.

“What do you want to do to celebrate?” Parker’s voice dances through the room and Bellamy shakes his head.

“I’d prefer to save the celebration for tomorrow… I’m tired,” he admits and I yank Dakota up the stairs, unhappy that I can’t go with Parker tonight.

We said what we did and can’t talk about it or really decipher that. I know we will. Probably at our away game on Sunday. But… That doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel wrong not even saying goodbye to him.

“Bye!” I shout.

I haven’t debriefed with Dakota in over a week, both of us having been wrapped up in all things hockey and football… I’ve seen him in passing two times now when I was heading into Parker’s apartment and he was leaving. But I still have no details on that matter and I’ll be getting them tonight.

“Nice to see you, Dakota!” Bellamy calls out.

“Congrats!” he shouts to my brother and then we’re in my bedroom and the door is slammed.

“If Lawson continues to look at you and Parker or even me for that matter with those looks I’m going to get in a fight with a football player,” he mumbles, pulling his suit jacket off.

“Lawson is annoying and not going to do anything. Especially not with you or Parker,” I tell him, knowing damn well that if Kamryn or Sienna have anything to do with it, Lawson will stay in his place.

“And if he doesn’t? He still seems grossed out by the fact that you’re with Parker. That’s annoying,” he tells me as if I don’t know that.

“Yeah, I know that. It’s the farthest thing from okay, but he’ll come around to the idea. I’m not worried about any of them knowing. Me and Parker are going to tell Bellamy and everything is going to be fine,” I tell him.

“But—”

“Parker told me he loved me tonight.” I cut him off and he is too stunned to speak. His mouth is hanging open, his last words disappearing from his lips, his eyes trained on me.

“He did not,” he mumbles and I nod.

“He didn’t even mean to. It was… It was really sweet,” I admit.

“And you? Do you love him? What the fuck baby?” He freaks out slightly and I laugh.

“I haven’t seen you in a week! I swear it’s like after Thanksgiving things just ceased for a while and I haven’t had a chance to—”

“Okay I get it, so you love him back? You told him? Before you even told your brother?” he asks and I sigh.

“I feel bad about that part,” I admit.

“And what about what your therapist has to—”

“Dakota,” I snap at him and he sighs.

“I’m just saying… Maybe you should try to talk to her. To sort your feelings out. That helped you a lot when we first met and you haven’t seen her in—”

“I chose to stop going to therapy. Bellamy doesn’t need it. I should move on from everything. I’m doing that. I can sort through my own feelings I can… I’m doing fine. Am I not?” I ask him.

“Baby… you’re fine, sure, but you should be better than fine. You know that,” he tells me and I shrug.

“This conversation isn’t about me and therapy. It’s about me and Parker,” I tell him, pulling the zipper of my dress down.

“And as much as I encouraged you, I don’t think this is a good thing right now. I think you and Bellamy are fixing your relationship and maybe he needs to know before anything else progresses between you and Parker,” he tells me and I scoff.

“Dakota, who’s side are you on?” I ask.

“Yours, always. That’s why I’m telling you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. I’m your best friend, not your pet,” he fights back and I take a deep breath.

“Okay, step back. Calm down. We don’t need to get into a fight about this, we never fight. I’m going to tell Bellamy. That’s already decided. And I will think about therapy. I just… I think I’m happy, and I’m trying to learn what that looks like for me,” I admit.

“And I want you to figure that out too. I’m just trying to look out for you,” he tells me.

“Thank you.” I look at him in the eyes as I slip on a hoodie, letting it swallow me whole.

“Now, can we not fight and can you tell me what is going on with you and Nico Jang. Why have you been at his apartment as much as I’ve been at Parker’s?” I ask him.

“Because… He’s invited me and I’ve said yes.” I watch him shrug and pull off his shirt and I notice the hickey’s on his chest.

“And he’s had you in his bed the entire time?” I ask.

“I think I like Nico… more than I’d like to admit,” he tells me.

“Oh, shit. Dakota, are you going to settle down with Nico? Oh my god, are we going to date roommates?” I ask him.

“I don’t know. I wanted to have fun my freshman year and I have but I also never planned to meet a guy, a hockey player at that, that felt like Nico does,” he tells me.

“Nico is a sweetheart,” I tell him, smiling at the thought.

“He is, but he’s also very guarded when it comes to being with someone so I don’t know. But I want to tell him I like him more than just… Just fun. Though I want whatever this is to be fun. I want it to be serious too I think,” he admits and I clap.

“Yay! Dakota this is a good thing, why do you sound unsure.” I shake his shoulders as he sits on the edge of my bed.

“Because he hasn’t given me any insight into how he feels so I don’t want to make myself look like an idiot,” he admits.

“Well if he hurts your feelings or breaks your heart I’ll put mouse traps in his bed when he’s gone,” I tell him.

“You might kill him,” he laughs.

“The goal is to seriously maim and harm but never kill,” I tell him. He curls himself under the covers in my bed.

“Does your boyfriend know I sleep in your bed with you when I’m here?” he asks me, turning over so he can look at me.

“It hasn’t come up, but Parker trusts you,” I admit.

“Sometimes it feels like he hates me,” Dakota chuckles.

“I think you both care about me in different ways but to the same degree… So it’s hard for you to see eye to eye sometimes. But he really does like you and appreciates you. I think he trusts you more than he trusts my own brother,” I joke and Dakota sighs.

“Bellamy really has been putting in more effort to be a better brother though,” he points out and I sigh.

“And I’ve been putting more effort into lying to him. AKA being a horrible sister,” I finish his thought and he shakes his head.

“Falling in love with someone doesn’t make you a bad sister. Especially since Bellamy never explicitly told you not to date his friends. But, keeping something as… special I guess, from him is what probably would hurt him, B,” Dakota explains and I nod.

“I just hope that’s the issue and not the fact that it’s Parker. Lawson tonight immediately went to the big brother's defense and if Bellamy does that I don’t know what I’ll do,” I admit.

“You’ll get through it. And I’ll be with you whenever you ask,” he tells me and I smile.

“And I’ll be with you for everything with Nico… Whatever that is,” I tell him and then a thought pops into my head. An odd one, but a thought nonetheless.

“When I get married, will you be my Man of Honor?” I ask him and he laughs.

“Do I have to wear a dress?” he asks.

“No, just hold my flowers, my ring, and help me not have an entire mental breakdown,” I tell him.

“And have the car ready if you want to escape?” he asks.

“Exactly.” I smile and he does too.

“Go to bed. With your love confessions I’m sure you’re not getting any rest if you see Parker tomorrow,” he jokes and I shove him.

“Gross,” I mumble, rolling over.

“I love you, Baby,” he tells me.

“Like a brother,” I reply.

“Like a sister,” he finishes and I close my eyes, Dakota’s warmth behind me as I drift.