Page 23

CHAPTER 23

GARDEN LIFE BY LUKE HEMMINGS

Brianne Archer :

I sigh out a deep breath as Parker, Bellamy, and Lawson walk out of the apartment. It’s been three days since my brunch with Dakota. It’s also been three days since I’ve spoken to Parker. He never replied after the text I sent which in turn, sent me into a spiral. How are you going to send me a song, melt my heart on our date, then leave me high and dry? The silent spiral continued when the first text I received from him wasn’t anything sweet or cute. Not even a check-in. He canceled our Tuesday dance lesson because Coach Corbin was panicking about the Friday game that we have. I thought that it was dumb that he made Parker practice considering he isn’t even allowed to play but I didn’t argue.

I know a phone works both ways but there’s got to be a rule somewhere that when you text him, you can’t be the one to text again. I thought maybe he’d send something by now, but my phone has been bone dry with the exception of Dakota, obviously. Dakota would never let me spiral alone. He pulled me right out of that panic and said that Parker is moody and broody and to give him time to deliberate his feelings and thoughts. It’s crazy though because I’ve needed that time too. I don’t know how I’m feeling or what is actually going on between us. I like him, sure, but that’s just it. There’s obviously a connection. I want to see him again, but in the back of my mind, there’s Bellamy. The thought of him continues to nag at me so I wonder how Parker feels.

I walk into the kitchen, my feet smacking on the cold tile floors. It’s not freezing yet, but it’s getting colder in Washington. Halloween is not this weekend but the next and I still don’t have a single clue about what I’m going to wear. I’m sure Dakota and I will plan something together. Considering Bellamy and Lawson have decided they’re throwing a party here, I know I will need to pull out all the stops. I’ll probably piss Bellamy off when I show up in next to nothing for the holiday. There’s a knock on the door and I pad over, opening it without checking who it is.

Parker doesn’t wait for me to open the door to him all the way before he steps into my space. He takes me by the hips and moves me over and out of the door frame before kicking the door closed. I open my mouth to speak but he puts a finger to my lips before I can speak.

“Shhh,” He tells me.

“I thought you—” I speak, despite his finger pressed to my lips.

I ignore the rush in my heart.

“I said shhh,” he tells me, his face serious. I close my lips and he takes his finger away, still keeping his other hand on my waist, his finger brushing my skin. I don’t speak and look at him expectantly, waiting for an explanation.

“I left my key behind on purpose so I could run back and come get it but I only have a minute…” he tells me and I furrow my brows.

“For what?” I ask.

“To ask you to play hooky with me tomorrow and go away with me all day,” he tells me.

“All day? I have classes and—”

“I don’t care,” He admits.

“You’re a bad influence,” I argue.

“Say yes,” he tells me, his words rushed but his face expectant and so adorable.

“What are we going to do?” I ask.

“None of your concern. Just make up something so Bellamy thinks you’re not going to be home tomorrow night and bring an overnight bag with warm clothes,” he tells me and I look at him, contemplating.

I stare at his face, very aware that his finger is drawing small lines on the exposed skin on my side. It’s almost painful how aware I am. His eyes are sea-green with rings of brown. His lips turn up into the smallest smirk, the kind of lopsided grin you see those guys do on the movie screens. I fold instantly.

“Don’t make me beg, Sunshine,” his voice turns low and soft.

I was already going to say yes, but now I’m about to melt into a puddle before I can.

“Fine. Now go before Bellamy thinks you got lost, go…” I tell him.

He brings his hand up and away from my waist to touch my face briefly. His thumb grazes my cheekbone, then he reaches over me to grab his keys from the countertop. Before I can blink, Parker is gone and I sigh a deep breath, my chest still feeling constricted like it’s beating a million miles a minute. I lean against the door and press my head back with a sigh. I’m going to end up having a heart attack before I even get to kiss Parker again.

* * *

I wake up to a text from Parker telling me to wear clothes I can hike in. Are we going hiking? Are we doing something dangerous or… Well, he wouldn’t put me in harm's way. Though, I’ve never really been hiking. It was something I wanted to get into. Considering I live in the perfect place to camp and hike, you would think I might have tried my hand at it. I haven’t given myself the chance yet. It’s early, to the point where the sun hasn’t risen yet, but Parker gave me a specific time and now a dress code. I’m sticking to it.

Since it’s early, it’s chilly enough that I’ll need some extra layers if we’re going to be outside. I dress in my fur-lined leggings, with a baby pink t-shirt. Over that, I wear a sweatshirt and a raincoat as well as a pair of tennis shoes with my furry socks on too. I’ll be warm and cute. I braid my hair back into two Dutch braid pigtails. I pack an overnight pack too like Parker said. I’m nervous but excited, more so the latter. I hesitate at my bedroom door before starting out of it. I have everything I need except the confidence I had the first night I got with Parker. Is he going to make a move today? Does this count as a date? What are we going to do? Is it going to be better than the first?

I walk down the stairs quietly and notice Bellamy and Kamryn both sleeping on the couch in what looks like a very uncomfortable position, which tells me it was accidental that they fell asleep that way. I sneak to the front door, grabbing my Stanley cup off the drying rack. I’ll make Parker stop on the way so I can fill it up. I head down the hall and to the elevator, feeling a pang of guilt for sneaking around my brother. I push the thoughts away harshly though, knowing that I don’t want them affecting my mood today. This is just a fun time. This is easy, new, and fun.

I take my car to Parker's place to cover my tracks. Bellamy won’t believe I’m at Dakota’s if my car is still in the parking lot of our apartment complex. I cross all the T’s and dot all the I’s. My drive is short and quiet. It’s one of those car rides where you purposely turn your music off so you can sit and marinate in your own thoughts and words. Consider it panic. Consider it whatever you want. All I know is I have a habit of overthinking and I’ve come to accept that. Once I pull up to Parker’s apartment, he’s already outside waiting for me with a giant backpack on his back.

I furrow my eyebrows at the sight. Does he hike a lot? Maybe he enjoys it. Maybe one of his roommates does or maybe—Oh, shit he’s walking over here. I put my Jeep in park and turn off the engine, watching as he opens my door for me. He holds his hands out.

“Give me your bag,” he tells me and I reach over, grabbing my backpack to pass it to him.

“Was there a specific reason we had to do this before the sun came up?” I ask him.

“Because it will be worth it when you see what I’ve seen. Come on,” he nods his head. I groan and he scoffs.

“You’re supposed to be sunshine-y and happy,” he clarifies.

“Can’t be sunshine-y when the sun isn’t out, can I?” I ask.

“Brianne Archer is not a morning person, got it,” he laughs to himself and opens his truck bed which now has a hard top over the back of it. He slides his bag, as well as mine, into it.

“Are you taking mental notes on me?” I ask, walking to the door. He follows and opens it for me.

“Have been since the moment I met you,” he admits and reaches over me, buckling my seatbelt for me.

He stops so he can look directly at me, taking my breath away with the sheer proximity of his face to mine. I look straight into his eyes, at his lips, then back up to his eyes, cursing myself for being a damn traitor. He smirks before backing away from me and clicking my seatbelt in. I take a deep breath the second he closes my door and walks around the front of his truck. I need to play his game. I also need to chill. This date hopefully will top the last one, which is a hard feat to accomplish. Though, Parker seems pretty determined considering he’s got me up this freaking early.

Parker drives and he turns on music himself this time. It’s The Beatles… I look over at him and blink, my eyes adjusting to the very dusky light that just barely peeking through the muck of clouds. His eyes briefly glance at me and he gives me a skeptical stare.

“Is there a reason you’re looking at me like that?” he asks.

“The Beatles?” I ask, the song Here Comes The Sun playing on the radio.

“What about it? Bad choice?” he asks.

“Not at all. I just didn’t expect you to pick it,” I admit.

“The last family I lived with was the Campbell family. The dad, he listened to them a lot. The wife also loved the music but I never really paid much attention. Until now,” he mumbles, turning the song up.

He starts singing to the song lightly, his voice definitely not up to par. I cover my face, laughing. He motions to me at the lyrics, referring to me as the sun.

“You should stick to football,” I speak through laughter and he just smirks to himself, continuing to look forward.

That was straight out of a movie—one of my favorite movies. I ignore the racing in my chest at the thought.

We pull up to the bay and Parker seems to know where he’s going and what he’s doing. I watch him carefully as well as everything surrounding me. The sun is encroaching on us, teasing the horizon with its presence. He doesn’t take our bags out, but he does meet me at the front of his truck, putting his hands under my hood so he can hold the collar of my raincoat.

“Ready to watch the sunrise?” he asks and I take a deep breath and nod.

“I guess I am,” I smile to myself.

The first date was magical and now we’re watching sunrises together? This feels impossible. I quickly text Dakota and let him know that this is not a drill and I am in fact living in a fairytale. I walk only slightly in front of Parker because that’s where he’s keeping me, his hand on my hip, guiding me where he’d like me. He keeps me at arm’s length, not letting me get far. He talks to the tour guide, to the kayak company, to everyone. He’s straight to the point, blunt, and quiet. I’m sure to smile at all of them, knowing it’s just me overcompensating for Parker's grumpy nature. The kayaks are brought out and we’re all at the edge of the bay getting ready to depart. There’s only a handful of other people that will be going out with us.

“Why do you keep smiling so much?” he asks with furrowed brows.

“Because you’re being grumpy and I’m trying to give them a little bit of happiness. I don’t want them to think we’re mean,” I explain.

“I wasn’t being rude,” he tells me.

“No, but you could be casual and normal. You’ve got your grumpy face on and it’s going to make people think you’re mad. You’re not, but… You kind of look like it,” I explain and he rolls his eyes.

“You’re just doing what you always do,” he explains.

We get into our kayaks and it takes me a second to get used to the feel of the paddle in my hands and the freezing water underneath me. This is intense when it shouldn’t be but that’s because I’m ignorant to it. I’ve never done this nor prepared to do it. We start into the bay, silence and quiet, our tour guide speaking in a low calming voice. I hear them saying that sunrise kayak experiences are meant to be peaceful, calmer, and quieter than informative and loud. It makes sense why Parker chose this. I ride next to him, plunging my paddle into the water to keep up with the rest of the group.

“What do you mean I’m doing what I always do?” I ask him quietly.

“I mean you try to make up for everyone around you. You do it with Bellamy constantly,” he explains.

I furrow my brows, feeling heat in my chest at his words.

“Shit. I’m not trying to be rude. Was that rude?” he asks quietly.

“I don’t really understand what you’re trying to say,” I admit.

“You do this thing where you take the burden of other people’s choices. Like today, I’m just the way I am. I’m not rude, I’m not mean. I just… I don’t know these people. I was just talking. You took it upon yourself to smile for me as if it wasn’t my choice,” he explains.

“I just like the idea of being able to be kind… when I can,” I tell him.

“And I really like that about you,” he tells me. “It’s not bad. I just… Notice it. That you do that,” he tells me and I nod.

“You’re perceptive,” I admit out loud.

The only other sound is the water when our paddles connect to it and the tour guide a few feet in front of us, talking softly. There’s mumbling and chattering amongst the other people on the tour as well. Everything is… peaceful.

“I don’t talk a lot. You’d be surprised by the things people say around you when you’re quiet all the time and I notice a lot because I don’t talk. Like small things about you,” he explains.

The sun is actually arriving now. I turn back to look at the city behind me that’s getting smaller and smaller with each movement I make. I focus on my own movements, my breathing, and the way my body heats up the more I move. I’ve never in my life surrounded myself with this much… quiet. I feel uncomfortable in it, only because I’m so not used to it. I do love it. The sky surrounding us is painted in the warmest light, orange and yellow with hues of pink and purple. It doesn’t even look real to me.

“Look behind us,” he tells me, and it feels like forever since he spoke.

When I glance at my watch, I notice it’s been almost thirty minutes of silence. I look at him for only a second. He’s staring at me as I turn to look behind me. The city. My city is so small. The city that feels larger than life is only a skyline in my sight but it looks ethereal in this light. In the quiet.

“Wow…” I breathe the word out, staring at it.

Everyone on the tour has stopped to look too but they’re an afterthought as I stare. I force my gaze away from the skyline to find Parker staring at me, an intensity in his eyes. I smile with closed lips and notice the softening in his entire demeanor.

“What?” I ask. He shakes his head.

“Nothing,” he mumbles and I let him have this one.

Just like our last date, I’m sure if it’s important enough he’ll come out with it. My heart stutters at the thought of everything I know and love being right there in front of me, but all of it looks so minuscule and small. I stare at the skyline and take a deep breath, the chilled air coursing through my heated body. I have been incredibly worried for weeks now. About everything. About my brother. About school and the thought of messing any of it up by potentially wanting to be with Parker… but looking at it all from this angle, seeing that even the biggest issues in my own headspace can look and feel like nothing when I look at them from farther back… When I stare at the bigger picture, I wonder if that was the whole point. If Parker wanted to give me perspective on how big life feels, but how small it looks…

“Everyone is moving on,” Parker speaks to me and I nod.

“I’m coming,” I tell him, not looking at him but the skyline still.

This is what I needed. To see it all. To feel it all.

* * *

The kayak tour was two hours of constant movement and my arms are insanely tired. Parker packed us up and started driving again, taking me away. We stopped at a diner, farther south than Seattle. The thing about Washington is that most of it is woods, trails, and nature. Over half of the state is covered in forest. I feel like it’s safe to say we’ll never run out. As much as I loved kayaking and the hour we took to drive to this small hole-in-the-wall diner, I am more in love with the idea of eating a burger. I don’t care if it’s 11 AM.

“Did you like kayaking? Or did you hate it?” he asks and I nod, looking at the burger that’s being set in front of me.

“I loved it. I’ve never been before,” I admit and dig in.

“I assumed,” he speaks softly.

“Have you? You seemed like you knew what you were doing,” I acknowledge.

“I have. It was a team-building thing we did when I was in high school. I grew up in California so it was very different. I thought it was dumb and then I did it. Not the same experience, it wasn’t during sunrise but the way it made me feel was why I chose it for our date,” he explains and my heart plummets in my chest at the thought of what he means.

“How did that first kayak experience make you feel?” I ask him.

“Small…” he admits and I stare at him, my eyes trained on him, my hands empty so I can focus solely on him as he talks.

“In a bad way?” I ask.

“In the best way. In a way that makes you feel normal again. Like, I’m so much smaller than I think. My life isn’t as big and scary and hard to hold onto when I see everything in front of me,” he explains and I nod.

It’s not exactly what I had felt but it’s so similar.

“I was feeling like… like everything that I loved, everything that was a problem or a panic in my life was sitting in front of me, so small and far away that it… It matters but it’s not what I had originally thought… It’s not something I need to make bigger than it actually is,” I admit.

“I was almost positive you’d understand that… I could see it when you didn’t want to leave the view. I saw that look on your face,” he tells me.

“Are you a mind reader?” I ask.

“Basically… Your everyday superhero,” he jokes with me and I smile to myself, digging back into my food.

* * *

After we finished our meal, we continued south to the mountains. To the forest. To exactly where my mind was telling me we were going since this morning. Hiking. Another thing I’ve never done. I completely follow Parker’s lead here. There’s a hikers center at the beginning of the trail. He parks his car there and takes our packs out of the truck bed. He helps me put mine on, strapping the backpack to my chest.

“Have you been hiking or camping before?” he asks and I shake my head no.

“I brought you a beanie to cover your ears for when the temp dips, okay? I have everything we need in my pack. If you need it, ask,” he tells me and I nod.

“Okay,” I agree.

“Hydrate. You have your cup.” He pats the cup that’s perfectly nestled into my backpack pocket.

“If you need more water I have more, okay?” he asks, putting his hands on my shoulders.

“Aye, aye captain,” I smiled at him.

“And speak up, please. If you need to stop, if you want to stop to look at everything, tell me. Also, if you feel tired and you need me to carry your pack, let me know,” he instructs.

“Anything else I need to know?” I ask and he shakes his head.

“Nope,” he tells me.

“What’s up with all the nature? Kayaking and hiking? I didn’t know you were an outdoorsman,” I joke.

“When we got caught in the rain the other night, it showed me that you really appreciate everything, even the small stuff… So, I figured this would be something you’d understand the same way I do. I love hiking,” he tells me.

“I had no idea,” I admit.

I don’t know a lot about Parker though, that’s the entire point of being here with him.

“I just figured you’d be happy doing this… That you’d be open to it and appreciate it in a way that I do,” he tells me.

“Like you with music,” I tell him, both of us starting on the trail.

“Exactly,” he mumbles to himself.

He walks in front of me and I ignore the burning in my muscles as time passes because as it does, the same feeling encroaches inside. I warm up, my body getting used to the movement, the chill of the wind, and the coolness of the air that I breathe. It feels clear like there’s no filter of film over everything here. It is beautiful. All of it, even the simplest of things on the trail are brought to a better light. It’s brought into a new perspective that I hadn’t seen before. There’s no city surrounding us anymore. No more Seattle Pike. No more friends. Just the two of us on this trail in the middle of nothing but feeling everything. I watch Parker move with ease and intention on the path. He’s very comfortable here in the quiet and the comfort of nothing.

It’s contradictory. He is, in general. Being in a profession where he will constantly be surrounded by screaming loud men and fans, in a contact sport where he’s being pummeled to the ground. Grass and dirt, blood and sweat. That’s what he’s chosen for himself but he loves this. Quiet that’s so silent it’s almost loud and I love it. I love the quiet that’s surrounding us right now. I’ve never spent so much time being quiet. Not in my entire life. But this whole day, I’ve barely spoken anything at all. I… I don’t feel like I have to. For once, I feel like I don’t need to fill up the space with my voice to make things feel right. This is just right.