Page 9 of The Quarterlands (Dark Water #4)

“I don’t know. I just know that I liked Gideon.

You’d have liked him too. He was sharp, perceptive, and without self-pity, and he wouldn’t tolerate it in others either.

He forced me to pick myself up when I was at my lowest ebb and find the strength of character to go back to Tyler, act like I was the best IS in the whole bloody country, and fool him into trusting me. ”

“That must have been exhausting,” Josiah said softly. “I have no idea how you survived those years with Tyler, having to pretend all the time to be one thing while working towards something completely different.”

“It was a complicated time,” Alex admitted.

“I wouldn’t have got through it without Gideon’s tutelage.

I could imagine his voice in my head whenever the going got tough.

It helped me through. It hit me hard when Tyler told me Gideon had died.

I wish I could have gone to his memorial service.

I’m sure I cared about him more than most of the people there. ”

“Were you in love with him?” Josiah asked.

Alex laughed. “God, no. I wasn’t his type, or he mine, which was a relief. I liked that he didn’t find me attractive. He thought you were dead sexy, though.”

“Me?” Josiah raised a surprised eyebrow. “How on earth did he know about me?”

“I had these photographs of you, and of Mum and Dad and Charles. I tore them out of some magazines in the rec room at Belvedere. It was soon after Peter was murdered so some gossip rag ran a piece on you. I kept them with the photo of Solange that Ted gave me after she died, the one I showed you.”

“Hmm. How on earth did you keep Solange’s photo a secret from Tyler? ”

“I didn’t. I left it behind at Belvedere.”

Josiah frowned. This was one of those missing puzzle pieces that might be important. “Then how do you have it now?”

Alex took a deep breath. “I found it in my gym bag in March, after a workout. It could only have come from Gideon. I thought at the time that he was chiding me, reminding me of my mission because he thought I’d given up on it.

Now I realise that he must have known he was dying, and he wanted me to have it. ”

“That’s when you put it in the frame behind the Hudson Brink picture?”

“Yes. I couldn’t risk Elliot finding it and telling Tyler that I had it.

After that, I used to search for Gideon every time I went to the gym.

I wanted to speak to him so badly. I loved that he still thought about me enough to find a way to get that picture to me.

I used to imagine us sitting and talking.

” He gave a distant smile, as if he was still imagining it.

“In my fantasy, he helped me rediscover my sense of purpose because I was totally stalled. I was so paranoid about giving myself away. Whenever I made the slightest attempt to fulfil my vow to Solange, it went wrong and I became more and more paralysed.”

“I wonder how he got access to your gym bag?”

“It was in my locker, which was locked, but those locks aren’t exactly hard to get into, and Gideon was a resourceful man.”

“Of course, it might not have been Gideon who left it there for you.”

“Who else could it possibly have been?” Alex looked taken aback.

“I don’t know, but we can’t assume. You didn’t see him, did you?”

“No.” Alex shook his head. “I suppose it could have been Ted, as he had the original, but he’d surely have mentioned it by now, wouldn’t he?”

“I’d have thought so, yes.” Josiah mused on this for a moment.

“You love it, don’t you?” Alex said softly.

“What?”

“This – the problem-solving, nurdling away at cases, figuring it all out. I’m sorry I was so vile to you at the hospital.

This is who you are. I’m also sorry that you’ve had to babysit me for the past few weeks.

I know I’ve been rubbish company. If you want to go back to work, then you should. I can look after myself now.”

“I’m still working, I just do it when you’re asleep. I don’t need to go back for a few more days.” He didn’t want to leave Alex alone just yet. He was too damaged, too fragile, and too unpredictable right now.

He spent a couple of hours going through various aspects of Alex’s life with him, taking notes.

Then he left Alex on the sofa napping and took his holopad into the dining room to work.

Reed was providing status updates every few hours, although he still hadn’t found Tyler’s blackmail footage.

Josiah didn’t expect him to. Material that incendiary would be kept in a very secure location, and Tyler had had several days to move it somewhere Inquisitus wouldn’t be able to find it.

That didn’t mean he was about to give up.

It just meant he had to strengthen the rest of their case as much as possible – and keep looking.

It was late afternoon when the doorbell rang. Josiah answered it and found a very familiar person on the doorstep.

“Elsie? But how…? When…?”

“Don’t I get a hug? I’ve been gone for weeks.”

She walked into his arms, and he wrapped them around her small frame and held her tight. “Oh, Elsie! You have no idea how good it is to have you back!” He pushed her away with a frown. “But why are you back?”

“Oh, honestly, there’s only so long I could hang around in that pottery driving everyone nuts.” She grinned.

“I’m sure you weren’t driving anyone nuts.”

“I was driving myself nuts with nothing to do. I love Liz and those kids to death, but I missed my home, my friends, and would you believe it – I even missed you and your chaos magnet of a boyfriend.”

“We’re not together anymore, Elsie,” he told her quietly, and then he led her into the kitchen for a quiet catch-up.

“So you set him free?” she mused over a cup of tea.

“I wouldn’t go that far. That’s not in my power. I simply suggested we end our relationship because I could tell his heart wasn’t in it.”

“But you’re still in love with him.” She gazed at him perceptively.

He stared down at his mug of tea, then looked up in despair.

“Of course I am, although I question it all the time. Is it really love, Elsie? Or are we just trauma-bonded by what happened to Peter? Even if it is love, how can I be sure who I’m in love with?

He’s a wraith, Elsie, and he changes all the time.

I’m not sure even he knows who he is from one second to the next.

He was a damaged teenager when he was trapped in Tyler’s web, and he’s been struggling to get out ever since.

I don’t think he has a clue who he is outside of that struggle. ”

“That sounds tough, Joe. Then again, you never did like to make it easy for yourself.” She placed a warm brown hand over his and squeezed. “Now look, I’m back now, and I can take care of this wraith while you return to work.”

“Would you?” He let out a sigh of relief. “I must warn you: he’s not easy to look after. His moods are volatile and change as fast as the weather.”

“Joe, I used to work with the criminally insane.” She laughed. “I’m sure I can handle Alex.”

“Elsie, why did you come back? Be honest.”

“I could see how things were when you and I talked,” she said quietly.

“I discussed it with Liz, but knowing what you’d been through, and that you were both bruised, battered, and struggling to heal, I couldn’t stay away.

Not when you need me so much. I used to be a nurse, remember?

I know you said it might be dangerous to remain in the UK, but you’re here, and I’d rather be here with you than with Liz, fretting about what’s happening to you. ”

“Thank you.” He swept her up in another big hug. “You’re right. I am itching to get back to work. I don’t do well cooped up in a house, and Alex isn’t always easy to be with.”

“I’ll take care of him, then.”

“You should know that Tyler is onto the Kathleen Line. I might not be able to protect you.”

“Oh, darling,” She laughed. “I knew that when I came back. I’m an old woman, Joe. If I die in jail, or as an IS, then so be it. But I’m like you, I have to be useful.”

The look on Alex’s face when he woke up and saw her convinced Josiah that he had nothing to worry about. Alex saw Elsie as part mother figure, part guardian angel. She’d been a lifeline during his escape attempt and he adored her.

He came to, saw her, and his eyes widened. Then, without saying a word, he sat up, threw his arms around her, and hugged her tight. They spent the rest of the evening talking quietly, while Josiah tapped away on his holopad.

“I don’t need babysitting,” Alex told her as she prepared to leave. “You don’t have to come back tomorrow.”

“I want to.” She beamed. “I want to spend time with you and really get to know you, sweetheart.”

“I’ll try and be on my best behaviour, then.”

“You’ll do no such thing.” She fixed him with a stern glare. “Just be yourself. That’s all any of us wants from you right now.”

“I’m not always very nice when I’m being myself. Ask Joe, he knows.” He looked down, shamefaced.

Elsie smiled and patted his arm. “Honey, did Josiah ever tell you about my past?”

“You used to be a nurse?”

“Yes, a very specialist kind of nurse. I worked in a high-security psychiatric hospital for years.”

“Wow, really?” Alex looked at Josiah for confirmation, and he nodded.

“Oh, yes. Our Elsie is quite the formidable lady.” Josiah grinned. “Go on, tell him your favourite story, Elsie.”

She laughed. “Well, I used to look after this man who’d killed a few women in a most unpleasant way. When I was first assigned to him, he gave me a look that would turn a person to stone, and he said: ‘You should run, because when I get my hands on a knife, I’ll cut your head off.’”

“Bloody hell! What did you do?”

“I fixed him with my sternest look, the one I used on the naughty kids at Sunday School, and I told him to pipe down because I wouldn’t take any of his nonsense.”

“Shit. Did he go nuts?”