Page 71 of The Quarterlands (Dark Water #4)

The release was profound. Every single repressed emotion came to the surface.

Years of suppression, of being a good little servant, came to an end, and he was Alex again.

Saying no, screaming and protesting, a being of pure emotion.

He brought his knee up into Neil’s belly, and the other man let him go with a loud “oomph”.

Alex tried to wriggle towards the door, but Neil recovered and grabbed him.

Alex tried to kick back and he heard Neil curse – and then he felt an unbelievable pain in his buttocks.

He screamed and looked over his shoulder. Neil had just bitten him.

“You fucking bastard,” Alex yelled .

“You bit me first, so I bit you back.” Neil dropped his head and bit him again, on his thigh this time. Alex yelped and wriggled, trying to break free.

He didn’t remember much about the next hour.

He wasn’t sure he was entirely present for most of it, lost as he was in a frenzy of emotion.

He stopped screaming, not because he didn’t want to but because he didn’t have the breath for it anymore.

He was locked in a deadly battle with Neil, with neither of them prepared to give an inch.

At one point, Neil flung him on the bed, held him face down, and bit, scratched, and slapped him from his shoulders to his thighs, tearing into him repeatedly, while Alex wriggled and writhed and tried to kick him off.

When he eventually broke free, he gave as good as he got, going after Neil with his fists and fingernails, biting, scraping, and slapping him.

It was an odd kind of fight. No punches were thrown.

Instead, it was a strange, intense tussle.

“Is this what you want? Is it? Is it?” Neil hissed into his ear, forcing Alex onto his back and spreading his legs. Alex laughed. This? No. This wasn’t what he wanted, but he’d take it, because in a life of make-believe, this, at least, was honest.

“No, Neil, this is what you want, because I never let you do it in all the fucked-up years we were together, remember?”

He saw the dark cloud spread across Neil’s face and knew he’d hit a nerve.

“I’ll have you that way tonight,” Neil said. “You can’t stop me. I bought you, so I’ll fuck you. I’ll take what you always denied me.” Neil tried to push his legs open further.

Alex laughed, lulling Neil into a false sense of security, then spat in his face. Neil growled in anger, and they had another wrestling match that only ended when Neil managed to force him onto his front and hold him down.

He bit into his pillow, knowing this was going to happen regardless, and pleased that at least he’d lubed himself before the show began, as he always did, just in case.

Neil let out a weird, sobbing sigh as he shoved into him for the first time.

“You’re mine now and you can’t stop me. This is what you owe me for all those years of looking after you,” he hissed.

Alex’s only reply was to push his arse up and surrender to the raw, brutal sensation of Neil pounding into him.

Later, a long time later, he lay on the bed, shivering, the sweat cooling on his body in the draft from the still open window. Beside him lay Neil, covered in bruises, scratches, and bite marks.

“Fuck, that was hot, wasn’t it?” Neil whispered, grinning at him. “We’ve still got it, Alex. We can still make each other crazy.”

Alex stared at him hazily. His entire body ached, but he felt good, as if he’d got something out of his system and given himself a reset.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Crazy. That’s the right word.” Maybe Neil was what he deserved. But if he truly believed that, he’d best go and throw himself out of that window.

They slept, after a fashion, both of them exhausted.

The next day, as he took a shower, Alex winced the second the water touched his back.

Neil had pinned him face down for most of his frenzied attack, so his front was largely untouched, but when he turned around and looked in the mirror, he could see that his back was covered in wounds, from his shoulders to the bottom of his bum.

There were livid red teeth marks, angry long scratches, and massive red bruises covering every inch of his skin. No wonder he ached so much.

He dressed slowly, feeling like a deflated balloon.

Had it been worth it? He didn’t know. He hadn’t felt in control of what had happened last night.

In a life where he had to closely monitor his every word, gesture, thought, and feeling…

to suddenly let rip had felt wonderful, but it’d also left him empty and drained.

Neil was waiting for him in the bedroom, fully dressed.

“I won’t give up on you,” Neil said as he emerged. “I’ll find a way for us to be together.”

“I believe you.” Alex was too tired to argue.

Neil grasped Alex’s chin and tilted it up, then kissed his lips with great tenderness. “I will,” he whispered. “I promise.”

Alex was silent on the drive home as he tried to process what had happened. What had come over him? He felt as if he’d been possessed. Beside him, Elliot rabbited on about how wonderful Eric had been .

“So shy. Like a little dormouse. Do you know he’d never been touched by a man before? He was the sweetest little creature. I had to be ever so gentle with him.”

Alex tuned most of it out, although he was glad that Eric had known precisely what Elliot wanted and clearly gone out of his way to give it to him.

When they reached home, he walked stiffly into the house. It was only then that Elliot finally noticed that something was wrong.

“Are you okay, my sweet?” he cooed. “You’re very pale. Was Eric’s houder mean to you?”

“It was intense,” Alex admitted.

Elliot’s expression changed to one of alarm. “Chris, are you well?”

“I’m alright. I think I just need to lie down,” Alex whispered, feeling faint. His legs suddenly gave way, and he would have fallen if Elliot hadn’t propped him up. His houder helped him into a chair and brought him a glass of water, then hovered over him anxiously.

“What did he do to you?” he demanded. “Show me.”

“I’ll be fine.”

In all honesty, Alex didn’t think it was the wounds Neil had inflicted on his body that had caused his collapse. It was the terrible catharsis. He felt washed out and completely devoid of energy, as if someone had sucked out his soul and left him an empty shell.

“Let me see.” Elliot reached out to unbutton his shirt. Peeling it off Alex’s shoulders, he immediately burst into tears.

“Oh, my poor darling! Oh, my God. Oh, Christopher. I had no idea. What a bad man I am to make you go with someone so cruel. Oh, oh, oh!” Somehow, even though Alex was the one hurting, Elliot had made it all about himself, as usual. Alex struggled to reassure him, but Elliot was having none of it.

“I’ve been wicked. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I will never, ever take you to another show again. Never!” His eyes blazed as he pressed hundreds of little kisses all over Alex’s face.

He insisted that Alex went straight to bed. The next day, he brought him breakfast in bed, then demanded to see his wounded back again.

“Do you need to see a doctor, my sweet?” he asked, dissolving into tears again at the sight.

“I could arrange that, although… I’d be terribly worried in case they thought I’d been abusing you and reported me to the IS agency.

Supposing they took you away from me? I’d never survive. ” He clutched his throat dramatically.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Alex said wearily.

“Okay, my darling. You just rest up, and I’ll bring you anything you want.

I’ll be the servant, and you can be my houder.

” Elliot looked delighted by this thought.

“I’ll tell Chantal not to disturb you when she arrives.

Just call me if you want anything, only not in the next hour or so, as I have business to attend to. ”

He went out, returning around midday, by which time Alex was up and dressed.

To be honest, he felt fine after resting.

His back hurt but not too badly. He was, however, starting to find Elliot’s endless fretting and fussing irritating.

Elliot was also finding it difficult. He much preferred being the one fussed over, and he was clearly already regretting his rash promise to never show Alex again.

“We can revisit it in a few weeks,” he backtracked. “I know you love shows as much as I do, so it wouldn’t do to stop you enjoying yourself because of one bad apple.”

Alex wasn’t remotely surprised by this. Elliot spent the rest of the day alternately threatening to call the show’s organisers to complain and wondering whether “my sweet, darling Eric” would be at any future shows.

The following morning, Alex decided to go to the gym just to get away from Elliot’s continuously changing moods. It was exhausting being in the house with him.

“Very well, if you’re sure you’re well enough, my darling,” Elliot said over breakfast.

“I’m good.” Alex got down on his knees, pushing Elliot’s legs apart to deliver his usual breakfast blow job – or the BBJ, as Elliot had christened it.

“Well, take it easy. I’ve made us dinner reservations at eight at that fancy new place that’s opened up in town.

It’s a special treat to say I’m sorry for what happened, so I don’t want you too tired to enjoy it.

My poor, lovely boy.” Elliot stroked Alex’s hair tenderly, then glanced at the news on his holopad as Alex set to work .

Alex drifted off, still trying to process what had happened. What would Neil do next? Should he be worried about it? God, as if his life wasn’t complicated enough.

An image of himself rampaging around that hotel room flashed back into his mind, and he winced. He couldn’t afford to let that side of himself out again. He must work harder at his yoga. Elliot said something to him, and he drew back from his crotch, looking up blearily.

“Sorry, sir?” he murmured, still lost in thought.