Page 84 of The Quarterlands (Dark Water #4)

Alex had sent him a copy before it came out, with a self-deprecating note. He’d taken his time and read it slowly, not least because parts of it hurt like hell and he’d had to put it down and walk away every so often.

“And? What did you think?” The hesitant, hopeful look in Alex’s eyes made his anxiety even more palpable.

“It was a hard read in places,” Josiah admitted. “But necessary. I liked how you tackled the issue of the IS system head-on. That won’t win you many fans, but I’m guessing you don’t care about that.”

“God, no. It had to be said. It took longer to come out than my publishers wanted because I kept firing all the ghost writers they sent.” Alex gave a self-deprecating grin.

“But they say I still have a bit of momentum for now. It won’t last much longer, so I had to make the most of it to get my message across. ”

“It’s a big ask, to dismantle a system that’s become embedded in our national life, like a virus. ”

“I know. People are very scared of the possibility of civil war, and I understand that, I really do.” Alex sighed. “But there has to be a better way.”

“I completely agree, and I’m incredibly proud of you for starting a national conversation about it.”

Alex gazed at him from luminous eyes, and Josiah realised how much it meant to him.

“That’s all that matters,” he said softly. “That’s all I wanted, to make you proud. After all you’ve done for me, I had to make it count.”

“And you did. Although, to my mind, the best bits in the book were the drawings,” Josiah said with a grin. Alex let out a whoop of delight and pressed a happy kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you.” He beamed, the praise of his art meaning more to him than anything else.

“So, how’s Gina?” Josiah asked. Alex had been seeing Gina for a few months now, his first serious relationship since being freed. Josiah had met her and liked her, although it had been strange seeing Alex with a girlfriend.

“We split up.” Alex made a face. “She couldn’t handle all the hoopla the book created. She said I was very nice, but…” He trailed off with a wave of his hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. She did the right thing. We really liked each other, but it never moved into love for either of us.” Alex leaned forward and stole a bite of Josiah’s pain au chocolat.

“Hey!” Josiah pulled it away from him. “Get your own.”

“I should. I’m starving today. I think maybe I forgot to eat yesterday.”

Josiah caught the barista’s eye and called him over. “Another pain au chocolat, please,” he ordered.

“Is he your IS?” the barista asked Alex, ignoring Josiah’s polite request. “Only, he’s been here for nearly an hour and I’m sure he must have work to do. If he’s not your IS, I’ll report him to his houder.”

“Yes, he is my IS, as a matter of fact, and his work is buying me pastries and then sitting and eating them with me,” Alex said imperiously .

The man strode away, muttering to himself.

“Fucker,” Alex growled. “Sorry, Joe.” He put a hand on Josiah’s arm. “I hate that you get treated like that. You’d think he’d recognise you. I mean, you are still the indiehunter.”

“It’s been a while since I last hit the news. People forget.” Josiah shrugged.

“He didn’t recognise me, either. Maybe he’s new to the country. He’s certainly new to here, or he’d definitely recognise us as we’re regulars. I feel quite offended.” Alex grinned.

“How’s therapy going?” Josiah asked, changing the subject.

“Well, I hate it, obviously, but I’m trying to be less boy interrupted and more man on a mission.

” He sighed. “I can’t expect others to look at me and not see that seventeen-year-old boy sitting on the road with his mum’s body making that terrible decision if that’s how I always feel inside.

So, I’ve been working hard on bringing something else to the table.

Finding out who Alex Lytton is when he’s not being that boy, or George Tyler’s traumatised punchbag. ”

“I’m pretty sure I know who he is, but I’m delighted you’re finding out.” Josiah smiled at him.

“C – sorry, old habit – Dr Adams is good for me. I know you thought I should go to the therapist Sofie found, but she looked at me with those sad, understanding eyes, and I couldn’t bear it. I needed someone who’d be harder on me. Someone who’d treat me more like…”

“An IS?”

“Yeah.” Alex made a face. “I guess so. You’ve obviously noticed how differently people treat you now. When I was an IS, nobody cared about my feelings. Now I’m free, people are falling over themselves to care. And it’s the opposite for you.” He turned to glare at the barista again.

“I was concerned about you revisiting your Belvedere therapist, but it seems to be working out for you.”

“He knows me, and he doesn’t ask me to rehash all my old trauma. Between the trial and the book, I’m done with that. I know what happened to me, and I know I can’t change any of it. All I can do is find a way of moving forward.”

“Which you’re doing superbly. ”

“Yeah, well, as he pointed out, if I want people to stop looking at me and seeing only my damage, then I have to show them something else. He’s very good at finding ways to help me focus on who I want to be, and not who I was.”

Josiah loved hearing him talk like this, with such energy, determination, and enthusiasm. He’d told him to move on, and he’d meant it. If that meant that he no longer wanted Josiah in his life one day, then so be it. That was a risk you took when you set someone free.

“Now, that’s enough about me. What about you?” Alex asked, leaning back in his chair and gazing at him intently. “Is there anyone in your life, Joe?”

“As a matter of fact, there is.”

Alex’s face fell. His mask was long since gone, and besides, Josiah spoke fluent Alex. He knew Alex still held a torch for him, and his own feelings remained unchanged.

Alex took a long sip of his tea, and when he’d finished, he’d managed to compose himself.

“So, what’s he like?” he asked, and Josiah could tell he was trying very hard to sound supportive.

“Gorgeous. Dark, with big brown eyes.”

“Sounds like a right shit,” Alex commented, grinning. “Who is he?”

“She,” Josiah corrected.

“What?” Alex did a double take.

“She’s about so high…” Josiah held his hand at around knee height. “Permanently wet nose. Goes by the name of Penny.”

“Oh, you bastard!” Alex slapped his arm, and Josiah laughed.

“She’s a rescue,” Josiah added.

“Of course she is. We all know you can’t resist your waifs and strays. Does Esther know?”

“Of course. She’s fine with it.” In fact, when he’d asked her, she’d fixed him with a glare and reminded him that he’d promised not to bother her with “stupid indie shit” when Inquisitus bought his contract.

“Where is she? Can I meet her?” Alex asked eagerly.

“She’s back at the flat. This place won’t let dogs in.”

“We must find a new café, then,” Alex announced, jumping up. “ And not just because of Penny.” He shot another dark glare at the barista, then grabbed Josiah’s arm. “Come on! I want to meet her.”

He practically dragged Josiah out of the café and a few blocks across Ghost Eye to the tiny apartment next to the office where he lived.

Alex had been here many times and had never once left without stuffing a handful of cash cards down the side of the sofa or in the cutlery drawer for Josiah to discover later.

He’d tried to give them back, but Alex simply hid them all over again, so it was an exercise in futility.

They were never huge sums, because Alex knew he’d never accept that, but they were enough to make his life a little more comfortable.

Penny was a black Labrador mix, like Hattie, but unlike Hattie, she hadn’t been raised by adoring people, so she was a little nervous with strangers.

Alex sat very still by the bathroom door until she warmed up and then spent the next two hours making her love him.

It was never hard to love Alex, and Penny seemed to find it as easy as he did.

Soon, she was lying in his lap in a state of pure bliss, having her ears stroked.

“How’s the course going?” Josiah asked. Alex was doing a degree in art and design.

“Fine. Great, actually. That’s why I was late. I’m working on something.”

His face came alive when he talked about his art, and Josiah drank it in. This was what he’d wanted for him. He knew Alex had resolved to make something of his life when he’d left the garage that day. He was trying to honour that resolution so that Josiah’s sacrifice would be worthwhile.

He hoped Alex wasn’t putting too much pressure on himself, but he trusted Noah to ensure he ate and slept and didn’t push himself too hard.

He spoke to Noah often and was delighted by how much he’d stepped up.

In fact, it was clear that Noah positively relished being able to be a father to his son again and was doing everything in his power to support and nurture him.

It wouldn’t last forever. Alex was already making noises about wanting to find his own place and move out, but for now, they were both enjoying each other.

“How about you? How’s work?” Alex asked.

“It’s good. I’ve nearly finished working my way through your list. ”

Jake Harper was behind bars, serving several years for his assault on Alex. Josiah had been grimly satisfied to watch that arrogant piece of shit get his comeuppance. Tyler’s major-domo, Drummond, was also in jail.

In Martin Bagshaw’s case, the judge had taken the view that a non-custodial sentence was more appropriate, so he was currently serving ten years as an indentured servant. This was a punishment Josiah found ironically fitting.

A few others had court cases pending, but Josiah expected similar outcomes for them, too.

“I bet you’re looking forward to getting back to dead bodies after all this,” Alex teased.

“I do like a good homicide,” Josiah admitted.

Alex left soon after that, and Josiah sat in his tiny apartment with Penny curled up on the sofa next to him, feeling perfectly content.