Page 70 of The Quarterlands (Dark Water #4)

“No, we had something special. Now, stop it, Alex. You’re ruining it.”

“Ruining what? Our great reunion? Oh, grow up, Neil. That’s not what this is.”

Neil’s face crumpled, but then, finally, he smiled.

“That’s good. Say what you think, love. You don’t have to pretend with me like you do with that Elliot bloke.

You and me, it was always fiery, wasn’t it?

That’s why the sex was so fantastic. You knew how to rile me up, and then we’d channel it into the bedroom. ”

Alex stared at him. How was he still so obtuse?

Finally, giving up, he turned and ran towards the door.

Whatever Neil had planned, he wanted no part of it.

No good would ever come from trusting Neil Grant, he knew that.

He reached the door, scrabbling for the lock, turned the handle – and then Neil was on him.

“You’re not going anywhere. I won you for the night, fair and square,” Neil said, wrestling him back. He was far bigger than him but not in good shape, whereas Alex was honed from hours at the gym. He thought he could take Neil on.

“I’m not fucking sleeping with you,” he shouted as Neil tried to drag him back to the bed.

“You have to,” Neil yelled back. “I paid my money.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. This is ridiculous. Neil…” Alex stopped fighting and let Neil drag him over to the bed and throw him on it. “What’s the plan here, Neil? What do you really want?”

“What I’ve always wanted. You and me, the way we used to be. I have money. We can get out of this lousy bloody country and be together properly.” Neil’s eyes had a weird, glazed quality, and Alex wondered if he was quite sane.

“You want to run away with me?” he asked, startled. “Are you for real?”

“Yes. Come with me, Alex. We’ll run away together. I’ve got a duck waiting outside, and I’ve paid a guy on the coast to take us to France.” Neil’s face was stupidly hopeful.

Alex ran through the scenario in his head, but he didn’t seriously consider it.

For a start, he’d just be swapping one form of slavery for another.

Even if he could escape from Neil once they got out of the UK, he’d be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life because Neil would pursue him – and so would Tyler.

“No,” he said.

Neil’s face did that strange crumpling thing again.

“I couldn’t do that to you,” Alex added in a placatory tone. “You see, I’m being followed everywhere I go.”

“By the black SUAVs. Yes, I know,” Neil said dismissively. “I’ve been watching you for ages. I’ve followed you loads of times. Once, I spent hours in that gym, watching you work out.”

“Then you know that I’m very heavily guarded. I’m the most expensive IS in the country, Neil. I don’t go anywhere without my houder knowing about it.”

“But we can cut out your tracker. I’ve got a knife.” Neil produced a blade from under his jacket, and Alex felt his throat go dry. This was starting to feel dangerous.

“It’s no good. Tyler’s security guards will be here in seconds if I cut it out.”

“It’s Tyler’s men, then?” Neil asked. “They’re the ones following you?”

“Yes. He owned me first, then he sold me to Elliot, but he still keeps tabs on me. For good reason.” Alex glanced nervously at the knife still in Neil’s hand.

“Is he in love with you?” Neil waved the knife menacingly in the air, looking angry. “Is that it?”

“No, it’s nothing to do with that. Tyler killed Solange, Neil. She helped me escape once, and he killed her. So, he follows me to make sure I don’t tell anyone.”

Neil was the first person he’d told since Gideon, and it felt strange to reveal, to him of all people, the secret that he’d guarded for so long. Neil was gazing at him blankly, as if this did not compute. He hadn’t factored this into his insane escape plan.

“You remember Solange, Neil; she was nice to you,” Alex reminded him.

“Yeah, she was. I told her she could do better than you.”

“Well, yeah, but you only said that because you wanted me for yourself,” Alex riposted with a wink, trying to charm Neil into putting down the knife.

Neil grinned. “See, you’re still the same old Alex. He’s still in there.”

“Yes, I am, but I can’t go with you because Tyler’s men will chase after us and I’m afraid of what they’ll do to you.

Listen…” He squeezed Neil’s arm affectionately.

“I’m only thinking of you. Of course I’d love to run away with you, but Tyler will kill you like he killed Solange, and I can’t let that happen, can I? ”

Neil looked confused by this new information but also convinced by it.

“But this is what I had planned,” he wailed. “I want you back, Alex.”

“I know, I know, but this isn’t the way,” Alex said soothingly. “Look, if you have the money, then why not keep offering to buy me? Elliot has financial worries. At some point, I’m sure he’ll crack and sell me to someone.”

“Okay. That makes sense.” Neil finally put the knife on the nightstand, much to Alex’s relief. He didn’t relish the idea of ending up as Neil’s IS, but he knew there was another bidder out there. If Elliot did ever sell his contract, he’d beg him to choose the other bidder over Neil.

“You look good, Alex.” Neil’s gaze wandered over Alex’s body. “At least we have tonight.”

Alex glanced at the knife. “Yeah,” he said at last, giving in to the inevitable. “Come on, then.”

Neil’s body was both familiar and unfamiliar, changed and yet the same.

Alex knew the taste and feel of him, the way he liked to kiss, lick, and moan.

It was easy enough to pleasure him. Then he lay back, hoping that would be it, because even after all this time, Neil still brought out the worst in him.

“You’re so gorgeous. You’ve still got that don’t-give-a-fuck attitude,” Neil murmured, lying on his side, gazing at him like a lovesick calf.

“Tell me about your life, Neil,” Alex deflected. “What have you been up to? ”

“It’s been shitty, Alex, I won’t lie.” Neil rested a hand on his thigh. “I missed you every single day and thought about you all the time. I’m sure it was the same for you, about me.”

Alex had barely thought of him at all, but he nodded. There was something more intense about this Neil, all these years later. He’d always been an oddball, always obsessive, but it was as if the years had baked that into his soul, turning him into a more extreme version of himself.

“You should have used the money Tyler gave you to make a decent life for yourself.”

“I was expecting to work at Tyler Tech after he bought you. When Tyler first approached me, he said he’d look after me.

He never said how exactly, but he insinuated that he’d be offering me a job.

He took me out to dinner and whispered in my ear, suggesting all these possibilities for how he’d repay me. ”

“Ah, a Tyler seduction. I know how that feels,” Alex said wryly.

“He even said I might still be able to see you after he bought you.”

“But he lied.”

“Yes, and then I couldn’t find work and the money eventually ran out. I struggled to survive, and all I could think about was you .”

“You should have forgotten all about me and moved on. It’s not too late. You can still have a decent life, Neil, with this money you’ve somehow found.” Given how deluded Neil was, he wasn’t completely convinced that the money was real.

“I tried.” Neil’s face crumpled again and he actually let out a sob.

“I wanted to hate you but I couldn’t. I used to hang around outside Tyler’s tower, just to see if I could catch a glimpse of you, but I never did.

This feeling, this ache to be with you, it never went away.

I need you, and you need me. We belong together.

I guess you could say we deserve each other.

” Neil reached out and stroked Alex’s hair.

He recoiled. Despite all the bad things he’d done, the idea that he deserved Neil made him feel ill.

“What is it?” Neil sat up.

“I can’t do this,” Alex said abruptly. He felt stifled, smothered, and sickened.

Being back with Neil was making his flesh crawl.

He literally couldn’t bear it. He wanted to lash out, scream, shout, fight…

anything bu t lie here talking to this man.

That was when he realised that Neil was the one person he didn’t have to pretend around.

With Neil, he could be himself – no mask, no empty-headed Chris, only raw, unbridled Alex, just like the old days.

He made a sudden lunge for the knife and grabbed it, then ran to the window and threw it out. It landed with a splash in the lost zone outside.

“Fuck it, Alex.” Neil jumped over the bed and looked out of the window. “We were having a nice time. Why do you always have to ruin everything?”

“It’s who I am.” Alex shrugged. “You know that. Listen to me, Neil. I can’t stand you. I never could, and I still can’t. You make me want to strip off my own skin and throw it in the water. I loathe you.”

God, it felt intoxicating. All the words he’d squashed down during his time with Tyler, all the pent-up frustration of being Chris, all the years of lying and hiding – it all stopped for this one night.

“I fucking hate you,” he screamed, and he wasn’t just talking about Neil, but everything and everyone in his fucked-up life.

He ran around the room in a frenzy, screaming and shouting, yelling his head off.

Neil chased after him, cornering him in the bathroom and pressing his hand over Alex’s mouth.

“Shut up! Shut up… someone will hear you.”

Alex bit his hand, and Neil yelped and let him go. He ran for the door, but Neil caught him before he got there. He wrestled Alex to the floor, but Alex fought him, kicking, scratching, screaming, and shouting.