Page 43 of The Quarterlands (Dark Water #4)

What about the pretty boys? It still felt transgressive to even think about kissing a boy.

He’d sat through so many of those thunder-and-lightning sermons at the church his father dragged him to.

Fancying boys was sinful. Yet, he knew that he did.

Maybe if he actually slept with boys and girls, he’d find out which he liked best, or maybe he’d find out he liked both equally.

He felt a wave of angry impatience. When would his life bloody well start?

How could he hurry it along? He sipped on his drink, only Coke, nothing stronger, because he was desperately trying not to disappoint his father right now after the last expulsion.

One of Charles’s rowing friends, Simon something, shot a few glances his way, but Alex felt awkward and stupid, so he looked away. How was he ever going to have sex if he was going to stand in a corner all the time, looking miserable?

He wondered if the trick was to pretend to be someone else.

Alex Lytton was rubbish at talking to attractive people, but supposing he was a more confident boy, the kind who was good at sport, loved working out, could talk to people easily, and had tons of friends.

Someone like… Charles? He plucked up the courage to walk up to Simon.

“Hey.”

Simon smiled at him. “Hey, Alex. How are you doing?”

“I’m great. I’ve been working out,” he lied. Simon was wearing a tight tee-shirt that showed off his impressive muscles. Surely this was something Simon would find interesting?

“Really?” Simon glanced at Alex’s slender frame.

“Well, I just started, but I’m loving it. I’m going to take up rowing, too.”

“Right.” Simon gave him a pitying look, and Alex felt crestfallen. He was getting this all wrong. “I heard you were an artist,” Simon said. “I think that’s much cooler than rowing; I’m studying history of art at university.”

“Oh.” Alex felt a wave of relief. This was something he could talk about.

Simon was sweet and kind, and later, he drew Alex into the cloakroom and kissed him.

Any doubts he might have had about finding men attractive vanished with that kiss.

Alex melted against him. He’d have let him do anything in that moment, but Simon drew back with a sigh.

“Sorry, Alex,” he said regretfully. “I’m not sure Charles would like me messing around with his kid brother.”

Alex was sure Charles wouldn’t care, but Simon wouldn’t be persuaded.

He woke up the next morning still buzzing. He’d had his first kiss, and it had been awesome. It was already mid-morning by the time he emerged and the sun was shining outside. He floated downstairs on a post-kiss high, feeling invincible, and found his mother pacing around the hallway in a panic.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. “Is something wrong?”

“That fat slug Adrian Buzzard from WADO just turned up to take Charles’s blood,” she fumed.

“Well, can’t you just, you know, do your thing.” He gestured at her cleavage, flushing slightly .

“Not with Buzzard. He’s gay, and he hates me. He’s also not open to bribes, more’s the pity. Fuck it.” She paced around. “I’ll have to distract him somehow. Maybe a medical emergency?”

“He’s gay?” Alex grinned. “Well, why don’t I distract him, then?” As soon as he said it, he regretted it. He’d had one kiss. That in no way equipped him to flirt with a fully grown man, and he was rubbish at flirting anyway.

“Oh, darling, no. I’d never ask you to do that.” She shot him a grateful smile. “This is our mess, mine and Charles’s. We’ll handle it together, the way we always do. I’d never drag you into it.”

Oh, but how he longed to be dragged into their orbit, to be part of what they had together. This was something he could do, a way of being useful to them.

“I’ll do it,” he said firmly. All he had to do was to pretend to be someone else. It had worked last night, hadn’t it? Kind of…

Without waiting for her reply, he waltzed into the dining room. Charles was seated at the huge mahogany table in the centre of the room, opposite an ugly, pot-bellied, dark-haired man with a cold, closed-off face. Buzzard, his mother had called him. Weird name.

“Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here,” he exclaimed. “Oh… and who is this?” he purred, remembering how his mother had played Ezra. Instead of being Charles, he’d be her. How hard could it be?

“I’m Adrian Buzzard.” The man looked him up and down for just a fraction too long. Aha. His newly acquired good looks were working. He could see the man was attracted to him. He could do this.

“Hey, Adrian. I had no idea Charles was entertaining.” He grinned.

“I’m from WADO. I’m here to take a blood test.”

“Cool. I’ve always wondered how the whole dope testing thing works.” He sat down, gazing at the man adoringly as he asked a few questions. Buzzard was all too eager to show off his knowledge and clearly flattered by the attention of a beautiful young man.

The inspector oversaw the medibot taking the samples, then stored them in the refrigerated storage unit, just as Ezra had done.

“I’d like to use the facilities, please, and then I’m done here,” he said stiffly.

“I’ll show you the way,” Alex offered. His throat was dry as he reached out and touched Buzzard’s hand, letting his fingers linger a little too long, and then led him down the hallway.

Buzzard was holding on to the medibot. Alex knew he had to separate him from it, but how? Was he really going to do this? You’re not gawky, awkward Alex Lytton , he reminded himself. You’re confident and attractive, and this man clearly wants you.

“Here it is.” He opened the toilet door, then slipped his hand into Buzzard’s.

“Shh.” Heart pounding, he put a finger over his lips.

“We don’t want Charles to hear us. He always thinks he’s the big ‘I am’ around here, but why shouldn’t the rest of us have some fun?

” Giggling, he pulled the inspector into the toilet and pushed him up against the wall.

Buzzard’s eyes widened, but Alex saw immediately that he wasn’t going to refuse, and a heady wave of power flooded through him.

This was easy. Buzzard dropped the medibot onto the floor, grabbing Alex hungrily.

Alex pulled him further into the toilet, keeping the man’s back to the medibot.

Buzzard’s mouth was suddenly on his, hot and hungry, far more forceful than Simon’s had been the night before.

He grabbed the man’s buttocks and squeezed, loving the little panting sounds Buzzard made. He didn’t find him attractive, but he did, oddly, find his desire a turn-on. There was a feeling of such satisfaction about giving someone pleasure. It was entirely new to him, and he loved it.

“Here… here… suck me…” Buzzard pushed him down towards his groin. “God, you’re beautiful… I’ve never had anyone as beautiful before… I want to feel your lips on me…”

Alex knelt in front of him and opened the man’s trousers. He was almost shocked by how erect he was. He’d watched porn and he’d fantasised about doing this, but now the moment was here…

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his brother open the toilet door silently and lean forward to grab the medibot. To cover any possible sound, Alex took the plunge and wrapped his lips around Buzzard’s erection.

He’d never imagined his first time would be this furtive, this weird…

but it didn’t matter. His first blow job was clumsy and noisy, but he gave it his best shot, and Buzzard didn’t seem to notice or care.

He stroked Alex’s hair, moaning and panting the whole time.

It was easy enough for Charles to return the medibot a few seconds later – job done.

Afterwards, Alex emerged from the toilet wiping his lips, feeling triumphant.

Buzzard left without so much as a smile in his direction, which stung a little.

He felt used, which was ridiculous as he’d been the one who’d initiated the whole thing.

Surely if anyone had been used, it was Buzzard, wasn’t it?

As soon as Charles closed the front door, the three of them burst out laughing.

Alex ran around the hallway, needing to burn off some weird excess energy.

Charles chased after him, picked him up bodily, and danced around with him for a few minutes, shrieking his head off.

The sense of relief and excitement was palpable.

Alex suddenly understood what his mother loved about all the deception, the gambling, the dicing with disgrace… it was thrilling.

“Alex! You wonderful, fabulous boy,” Charles exclaimed, still carrying him around the hallway.

“He is! Oh, darling, you saved our bacon.” Isobel wrapped her arms around him and kissed him all over his face.

When all the emotion had subsided, Alex felt an odd emptiness settle inside. Was that it? Was that sex? Once the adrenaline surge abated, he felt crushingly low. How did his mother handle all these extreme emotions? He wasn’t sure he was cut out for this kind of risk-taking.

She noticed his low mood. “Darling, Charles and I thought we’d go to The Dark Horse for lunch.

It’s a glorious day, and your father is working as usual.

” She rolled her eyes. “Charles is going to take his medal to show everyone. The local people have always been so supportive, and we thought a little victory circuit might be a nice way of repaying them. I was going to ask Henry to drive us, so that Charles could sit in the back and wave at everyone. But you could drive instead, if you’d like to come? Would you?”

Of course he would. His mood lifted immediately, and he was happy to jump into the duck a little while later and drive Charles on his victory round. His older brother was in his element, wearing his gold medal around his neck and waving at everyone they passed.

Alex stirred. Where was he? It was still nighttime; stars were twinkling overhead and the sky was an inky black. Such a beautiful night. If only he had his paints, he’d love to try and capture the different tones and accents of that darkness.